Broken Heart (Broken Heart #1) (33 page)

to let it all out. Sex with Michael felt different, especially when he told he wanted to fuck me instead of making love to me. I was shocked when he said that, but deep down inside, it turned me

on. I’m not a prude, but anything associated with a “good fuck” reminded me of my father and his whores. He hardly ever touched my mother…and she was beautiful. I didn’t want to feel like a

whore, but today I let loose, and it felt good and I didn’t want to feel guilty for “fucking” my husband to be. 

I took a shower and got dressed, but this time I wore a white, short maxi dress with white pumps that Margaret gave me. I felt sexy and liberated, and I wanted to walk into Dr. Logan’s office

feeling confident while telling her my problems were just getting worse. The miscarriage I had was eating away at me and I feared the worst. What if I mumble something in my sleep? What if

he finds out? I’ve noticed that I don’t remember having the nightmares and now I was just waking up on the floor. That was new. That never happened before. This seemed more troubling to me

than anything and I was praying I didn’t speak out loud…about anything because this time, I might not be talking about my father, but the pregnancy.

I sat in the cab and headed towards Dr. Logan’s office. The streets were packed and the traffic was backed up for at least a half an hour. It was so nerve racking to see so many people everywhere. I

still can’t get used to all of the people in the city. I decided to get out and walk down the block to her office. The smell of hot pretzels and roasted peanuts from a truck I passed reached my nose

and a feeling of despair stirred deep in my stomach. The same way I felt when I was a little girl on the way home from New York once while I was eating a soft hot pretzel in the back seat of my

father’s car. My father decided it was the right time to drink some more so he yelled and cursed at my mother the whole way home for forgetting to pack his water bottle which was really filled with

vodka. He smacked her across the face and cracked open her mouth. She bled so much I thought she would die. 

“You stupid Bitch, you never remember anything for me, but you remember everything for that little shit sitting back there! Don’t you! Don’t you!” He said as he grabbed her by her hair and

slammed her forehead against the dashboard. I dropped my pretzel and curled up into a ball. How can a nine-year-old little girl protect her mother from the monster in the car? 

A passerby bumped into me awakening me from my memory. I let out a yelp and stared at the stranger.

“Sorry,” a tall man in a grey suit said with a vigilant smile. He looked at me oddly then turned around and kept walking.

I stopped and looked around. I took a deep breath and held my stomach as I proceeded to walk down the block. I finally got to Dr. Logan’s office in one piece. Dammit. I felt like shit and now she would read it all over my face.

“Jenesis Heart,” I said to the red-lipped hussy who wore a darker shade of red today.

“One moment, please.” She shrugged me off, and I sat in the waiting area to avoid swinging my purse across her face and smearing her lipstick from cheek to cheek.

“Jenesis, you can go in now,” she said without looking my way. I got up, walked into Dr. Logan’s beautiful office, and sat on the leather sofa. She was standing by the window talking on her cell phone then turned around to acknowledge me and hung up.

“Jenesis, how are you?” she asked smiling as she walked over and hugged me.

“I’m okay…but I have something tell you.” I folded my hands together on my lap and stared into her beautiful blue eyes and I got right to the point. “I was pregnant, and I had a miscarriage.” It

felt so good to let those words roll off of my tongue. I clenched my hands together, and I began to sweat a little.

“I see, are you feeling okay? I mean, was it recent?” she asked as her eyes saddened as she looked into mine. 

“It was…but I’ve healed. Michael didn’t know I was pregnant, or that I had decided to terminate, but then, I had no choice to tell him when I started to bleed and ended up in the hospital.” I glanced

away from her, my eyes welling up with tears. It was the hardest thing to say, and the guilt consumed me.

“Jenesis, how have you been able to face him knowing that you lied to him?” she asked seriously.

“I…I just had to move on. I didn’t want to ruin our relationship.” I crossed my legs as I began to feel uncomfortable. 

“I see. I’m sorry for what you went through. I definitely cannot judge you. You had your reasons for wanting to terminate this pregnancy, but I guess mother- nature stepped in. What you’re feeling

is normal and moving on is the right attitude to have, but didn’t he have a right to know? He was the father?” She stood up and walked towards the window, tapping her pen against her clipboard.

“I was raped,” she whispered, “so I was told, I had an abortion, but I regret it every day of my life. The person who raped me was my stepbrother, and I was in love with him, like no other. I say he

raped me because that’s what my mother said. I was madly in love with him, but I was underage. I was fourteen, and he was seventeen. I became a psychiatrist to work with people who have to

deal with pain and the memories that possess them. I know I shouldn’t have told you that, but I wanted you to know that I married my stepbrother and we are very happily married, but I never

had any kids, because I’m afraid...of being punished. He never knew I had an abortion and if he ever found out, it would kill him. I guess I need a psychiatrist myself.” 

I stood glued to the sofa as the words Dr. Logan said made me more confused than I already was. My heart was heavy. This was completely unexpected and I didn’t know how to respond. “In other words, I guess he didn’t have to know. I guess it’s true what they say, ‘What you don’t know won’t

hurt you.’ Forgive me, Jenesis, this was just the perfect opportunity to show you that you’re not alone and you’re not the only woman in the world who’s thought of having an abortion. It doesn’t

make you a bad person. It’s easy to beat yourself up and punish yourself every day for what was about to happen, but as you could see, it’s not worth it and anyway, nature took its course. Maybe

you weren’t supposed to have a child right now. Maybe you were right. You can have other children with your future husband and make the best out of your life and his.” She sat on her leather

chair and leaned her head against it. She seemed exhausted, more exhausted than I was. I felt sorry for her and what she said made sense.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all I could say. I didn’t know what else to say, she caught me off guard. 

“Same time next week?” she said softly.

“Yes, thank you.” I stood up, walked towards her, and hugged her tightly. I was happy that I didn’t cry. I was tired of crying all of the time and this session proved that it was time to move on.

I walked out and of her office and hailed a cab home. I sent Michael a text.

Hey, just got out of my session. It went well. I love you. See you at home.

J

In court. We’ll talk later. xoxo

Michael

After court, Michael called and asked me to meet him at the restaurant that we had met Eddie and Tilly before. He asked me to wear a cocktail dress. I picked out my favorite tight-laced black mini

dress and black and gold stiletto heels. It was the only thing I owned that came close to a cocktail dress. I was putting on my heels when I heard a faint knock at the door.

“Who is it?” I asked, but no one answered. I opened the door slowly and an older gentleman was standing there holding a batch of white orchids in his hand and an envelope. 

“Miss, are you ready?” He handed me the orchids and the envelope as I stood there smiling.

“Can I help you?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yes, Mr. Hunter asked me to pick you up,” he said happily.

“Oh, I see. Can you excuse me for a moment?” I closed the door slowly and locked it, then grabbed my cell phone and dialed Michael’s number. 

“Michael?” I whispered.

“Baby, are you ready?” he said happily.

“What’s going on? Did you send someone for me? I didn’t want to take any chances,” I said nervously.

“Yeah, baby…I wanted to surprise you. It’s okay,” he said reassuringly. 

“Okay.” I hung up with Michael then I opened the door again.

“Gather your things, miss?” he said smiling at me.

“Okay…thank you.” I turned around and grabbed my purse and my coat. I turned off the lights and walked towards the door. “Let’s go,” I said softly.  I walked down the stairs carefully as he held my hand. He led me to the car and opened the passenger door for me. “Thank you.” The car

smelled like Michael, as if he sprayed his favorite cologne all over, and as I inhaled deeply, it brought a soft smile to my face. I slipped the note from the envelope and it read:

I've waited a long time, Jenesis,

I’ve never met anyone like you.

You’ve changed my life, you’ve made me whole again.

I didn’t think it was possible.

I’ve been waiting for you, I love you, Jenesis.

Ask the driver to play the cd for you. 

Michael

A warm, gentle smile reached my lips as I looked around for the CD. It was placed beside me on the seat tied in a white silk ribbon. Just untying the white ribbon felt sensual, and my heartbeat increased as I thought about

Michael and the words that were written on the note. The CD said Foreigner, and the song, I’ve Been Waiting for a Girl Like You was highlighted. I handed it to the driver. “Can you play this please?” I asked.

“Yes, Miss.” he answered politely.

I listened to the song as it played in the surround system of the car. The beat of the music slowly soothing my ears as the words made me crave Michael’s touch and I wanted him to be here with

me, holding me, kissing me, inside of me. Every word in that song made my heart race because I knew exactly how he felt because that’s the way I felt, too. The driver pulled up in front of the

restaurant and to my surprise Dave was standing in the front. I was about to step out of the car and then remembered to ask the driver for the CD. 

“The CD, please,” I said.

“Yes, miss,” he uttered.

He pushed the button, and the CD was released. I smiled in anticipation just to hold it but not as much as I wanted to hold Michael. The driver stepped out of the car and then walked around to

open my door. He extended his hand, and I grabbed on tightly, holding the white orchids in one hand and the CD in the other.

“Jen, oh my God…you look beautiful.” Dave walked over, and he kissed me on the cheek as I tried to look over his shoulder to look for Michael.

Dave turned his head as he saw Eddie and Tilly stepping out of their cab.

“I’m here! Congratulations, bro!” Eddie shouted. I turned around to see Michael standing near Margaret. He was wearing a black suit and a light wine colored shirt with a black silk tie. My

God…he looked so beautiful he took my breath away. His tall stature and his broad shoulders made that black suit look like they sewed it right on him. His blue-green eyes twinkling, waiting

for me to run into his arms and that’s exactly what I did. He held out his arms, and I ran as quickly as I could without falling with my stiletto heels. He held me close to his chest and I could hear his

heart beating against it. The sound of his heart against my ear made me melt inside, and I squeezed him tighter. I didn’t want to let him go. 

“I love you,” he whispered into my hair.

“I love you, more,” I whispered back into his chest. I stepped back and placed a gentle kiss on his lips and met his eyes. His eyes said it all, and I inhaled him, every part of him, his eyes, his scent, his kiss, and most of all his love. I was startled when Eddie came running towards Michael.

“You look kind of sexy in that suit, come here and give me a kiss!” he said as he grabbed Michael by the neck. Michael grabbed his arms and lifted him up off the sidewalk and then dropped him to his feet. Eddie turned and faced Dave.

“Dave, it’s nice to see you again.” His face was expressionless, and he didn’t even crack a smile.

“How are you Eddie? Tilly?” Dave said politely. He looked over at Tilly and waved his hand at her, turned and placed his arm around Margaret and walked towards the restaurant.

Michael and Eddie walked together as I walked with Tilly and Margaret.

“I’m so proud of Michael.” Margaret wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “What’s going on?” I asked, still wondering why I got the royal treatment, the flowers and the CD.

“Michael’s firm just got highly recognized for that high profile case, you know the one with the millionaire who’s being accused of killing more than fifteen women; the alleged serial killer Marquis or something like that.