Broken Rainbows (18 page)

Since Eddie's death she had set great store by her independence, but what had it brought her? The freedom to indulge in meaningless lovemaking with strangers like Kurt Schaffer; the freedom to sit alone and brood at nights?

Suddenly she realised she couldn't imagine life without Alexander. Without his sometimes savage, sometimes tender lovemaking. His thoughtfulness, his unexpected gifts, his company … did she love him, or was she using him? Did it matter, when he loved her?

She ran to the gate, opened it and stepped out ready to call him back. The blackout, blinding, suffocating, silent and bone-chillingly cold, closed around her. He must have turned the corner and carried on into town. It was too late.

Closing the gate, she returned to the storeroom. She could put on her hat and coat and go after him – but to where? There were pubs like the Horse and Groom that no respectable woman would enter, even taking the emancipation that the war had brought into consideration. But there was always tomorrow. He might think it was over between them now, but if she wrote to tell him she wanted to see him he wouldn't be able to stay away.

There hadn't been a man who hadn't come running when she had wanted him, even Eddie on that last leave. He might have returned to Pontypridd because the army had given him compassionate leave for her mother's death, but two days had been enough to convince him that their marriage had been worth saving. If he'd lived she'd still have him. She
had
to believe that much. It was all she had to cling to.

Just like Eddie, she'd get Alexander back, and when he came, she'd give him her answer. But first she'd tell him about her and the American lieutenant. If he could forgive her that, perhaps she could find it in herself to be a loving – and faithful – wife.

Perhaps it was finally time to settle down.

Alexander carried on walking down the hill, fingering the coins in his pocket. There were any number of things he could do. Call in the café and talk to Tina. See the picture in the Park Cinema, visit one of the pubs, it didn't matter which, there were bound to be far more men than women among the customers, and at this time of night, Yanks that the landlords would be more anxious to serve than him, simply because they had more money in their pockets. But whatever he did, one thing was certain: he had to put Jenny out of his mind, not just for this evening but permanently. If he didn't, he'd risk his sanity. Two years was a long time to be dangled on a string, even by a woman as beautiful and passionate as her.

‘And here it is.'

‘Richard, it's beautiful.' Anthea's eyes shone with delight as he opened a small, leather-bound box.

‘Diamonds and sapphires. Nothing's too good for my girl. Here, let me.' Taking the gleaming, jewel-studded band from the box he slipped it on to the ring finger on her left hand. ‘Well, honey, what do you think?'

‘I love it. Absolutely love it. The girls in the bank are going to be green. And my mother will be over the moon. You'll come to tea tomorrow? Then we can show her together – that's if I can wait that long.'

‘I won't mind you giving your mother a quick peek beforehand.' Dropping the box on to the table behind him, he slid his hands down the sides of her body. Catching the hem of her pullover he pulled it up and caressed her breasts through the tight band of her bust shaper and the fine silk of her petticoat.

‘Where's Chuck?' she murmured nervously.

‘Playing cards with some people in Alma Raschenko's. We've got the place to ourselves, so I took the liberty of buying a bottle of champagne to celebrate the occasion. How about starting right now?'

‘With the champagne?'

‘I can think of a little preliminary,' He fingered her hand, turning the ring until the stones caught the light.

‘My father's going to notice I'm wearing this when I go home.'

‘Not if it's in your pocket.'

‘You're being cruel.'

‘How about I come in with you?'

‘That would be wonderful, but it does mean I'll have to be back early. They go to bed at half-past ten.'

‘Very wise, we'll have to adopt the same habit when we're married. And all the more reason for us to start celebrating right now.' Taking the champagne from a bucket of cold water, the nearest he could get to ice in wartime Pontypridd, he twisted the metal stay, popped the cork and filled their glasses. ‘To us, and a long and happy life together.'

‘To us.' she echoed, watching him over the rim of her glass.

‘I have another bottle of champagne put away behind the bar in the New Inn.'

‘I'll get my bag.'

‘Later. As I said, Chuck's out. We may not have another opportunity to be alone for some time, and this evening is a very special one.' Setting down his champagne glass he began to unbutton her blouse.

Moving away from him, she clamped her hands over his fingers. ‘Rick, I've been thinking …'

‘Don't.' Bending forward he uncovered her breasts, caressing the tips with his thumbs.

‘You know I can't think when you do that.'

‘Who needs to think?'

‘I'm afraid I'll lose my head again.'

‘That's the idea. We're officially engaged now, honey. You have my ring.'

‘But we're still not married. And I think we should wait before we do … we do … what we did the other night again.'

‘Ordinarily I might agree with you, although I'd still find it darned near impossible to keep my hands off you. But as I said, wartime is different, honey.' Lifting her on to his lap he kissed her. ‘You know I love you and I'm going to marry you the minute permission comes through. Now about this -' he slipped his hand beneath her skirt and into her knickers. ‘You have no idea how much it means to me. How just the thought of you keeps me going from one free evening to the next. I've an idea,' he whispered when he'd succeeded in pulling down her bloomers. ‘How about we do this properly. In bed?'

‘Chuck's only next door, he could have forgotten something, and come in and find us.'

‘Chuck! Never. Have you seen the way he looks at that redhead? He's got a terminal case of lust.'

‘Rick, I can't help being afraid. What will we do if something goes wrong?'

‘Believe me, honey, with me for a fiancé, nothing can go wrong.'

‘Mother's still saying that once a man gets his way with a girl he'll lose all respect for her.'

‘But I've already had my way with you once, and you're wearing my ring. What more can I do to show my respect?'

‘You promise you'll never leave me?'

‘Only when Uncle Sam says I have to, and the minute I'm demobbed I'll be back.'

‘You swear it.'

‘I swear it,' he repeated solemnly, kissing her naked shoulder.

‘My mother -'

‘… lived in different times. Now come on, don't be shy like last time.' Taking her hand he led her into his bedroom.

Her eyes rounded in shock as she saw a tripod and camera set up at the foot of the bed. ‘What's that?'

‘What does it look like?'

‘A camera.'

‘Full marks.'

‘You want to take pictures of us here, in your bedroom!'

‘All the guys – the married guys,' he amended hastily, ‘have photographs of their wives. I thought … I hoped you'd let me take yours.'

‘But I gave you one.' She clutched the edges of her blouse together as she turned and faced him.

‘I was hoping for something a little more intimate, honey. A special pose just for me?' He swung the tripod round, pointing the lens in her direction. She continued to stand transfixed, staring at him. ‘I can't take you like that, you look as though you've seen a ghost.'

‘You can't take photographs of me undressing,' she whispered, finally finding her voice.

‘I'll remind you of that in twenty years.'

‘Will you?'

Reaching up he pulled her down beside him. She lay beside him, trembling. ‘They will just be for me, honey. To look at when I'm away from you.'

‘What if anyone else sees them?'

‘Who's going to see them when they're safely buttoned in my breast pocket, over my heart?'

‘Someone has to develop them.'

‘Me. I have a darkroom in the back.'

‘I really don't want to, Rick,' she pleaded as he lifted her skirt above her stocking tops.

‘How about we leave it until afterwards, then?' Unbuttoning his shirt he dived on to the bed. ‘Last one between the sheets washes the champagne glasses.' Pulling off his trousers and shorts he threw them out on to the floor.

After last time she thought she'd discovered everything there was to know about lovemaking. Every time they'd met, they'd kissed, and he'd caressed her breasts, but lying naked alongside him in his bed was a new, shocking and incredibly exciting experience. She shivered as his legs moved over hers, pinning her down in the bed. His lips moved slowly over hers, his tongue exploring her mouth, his hands stroking, fondling every inch of her body.

‘Tell me you don't like this, and I'll know you're lying.' Pulling the sheets back he rolled on top of her.

‘I never thought it would feel this way,' she moaned, crying out softly as he entered her.

‘You see you're already beginning to like it, honey,' he murmured as he continued to push himself into her. ‘Just think about that ring, and what it means – to both of us.'

‘You've an unusually long face on you tonight,' Tina commented as she left the counter to replenish Alexander's teacup.

‘It's been an unusually long day.'

‘I know the feeling.' Pulling out a chair, she sat opposite him. ‘You seen Haydn?

He nodded. ‘He seems happy to be home.'

‘Lucky Jane. Right now I'd give five years of my life to have William home for an hour.'

‘He might have something to say about a deal like that when the war's over.'

‘Do you think it will ever end?' she asked dolefully.

‘With what it's costing in men and money it has to.'

‘When we're all old, grey and past it. And then everything will change again. You'll go back to where you came from …'

‘And William will come home.'

‘And the Yanks will leave. Sounds like paradise.'

‘To be rid of me? Thank you very much.'

‘Not you, to have William back and the Yanks gone.'

‘You really hate them, don't you?'

‘Only because they're here and William isn't. It's unusual to see you in here without Jenny. You haven't quarrelled, have you?'

‘No.' He took a deep breath. ‘We haven't quarrelled.'

‘I'm glad to hear it. You two are perfect for one another.'

‘Why?' He eyed her suspiciously, waiting for the sting. The only compliments he'd ever heard Tina pay were barbed ones.

‘Because she likes using men as doormats, and you're happy to lie down and let her wipe her feet on you.'

‘I am not.'

‘Come on, Alexander, I've never seen a man crawl around after a woman the way you crawl around after Jenny. And while you are prepared to do it, she'll be only too delighted to let you. She likes to make out she's so self-sufficient and independent and doesn't need anyone or anything, but you must have seen past her hard-boiled image to have put up with her as long as you have. I doubt any other man would have stuck around as long. Eddie certainly didn't, but then, he had his reasons and his distractions. He was no angel.'

‘I doubt any man is.'

‘William had better be or I'll make a bow-tie out of his dangly bits.'

Alexander burst out laughing.

‘You think I'm joking?'

‘No, I just love your turn of phrase.'

‘It's easy for you to laugh, you're in the same town as Jenny, and not likely to get separated.'

‘We're not even engaged.'

‘Only because you've both got all the time in the world to play silly games. Lucky devils. I've forgotten what it's like to have enough of that commodity to waste it in stupid arguments.'

‘We haven't quarrelled.'

‘Pull the other one. It's none of my business, but if you're that besotted with her, have you tried asking her to marry you?'

‘And have you tried minding your own business?'

‘Yes, but my life is so boring at the moment I'd rather not. And Jenny's not only my friend, but family.'

‘Because her husband and yours were cousins?'

‘In Graig terms that's family. I'd like to see her happy, and she's not at the moment for all her independence and the men running after her. So, I suppose that leaves it up to you.'

‘I rather think it leaves it up to her.'

‘So you have asked her to marry you?'

‘I think it's time for another tea.'

‘You don't want any more.'

‘Now you're telling me I'm not thirsty?'

‘The last tram crew has just gone out through the door. If I'm going to open up at five, I'd better get to bed.'

‘I don't know how you work the hours you do,' he said wearily as he hauled himself to his feet. ‘Twelve-hour shifts are enough for me.'

‘That's the trouble with most men: no stamina.'

‘Thanks, Tina,' he said as she went to the door to see him out.

‘What for?'

‘Tea and no sympathy. I couldn't have taken it. Not tonight.'

Jane left Haydn talking to his father and Phyllis and climbed the stairs. Moving quietly so as not to wake Anne, she filled the china bowl on the washstand with water from the jug. It was icy cold. Undressing quickly, she soaked her sponge, rubbed it against the soap and steeled herself for its touch. After washing and rinsing, she towelled herself briskly dry in an attempt to restore her circulation. Emptying the bowl into the slop bucket beneath the washstand, she reached for the small blue bottle of Evening in Paris Haydn had brought her on his last leave, and liberally sprinkled drops around her neck and wrists.