Authors: Theresa Kay
I stop, close my eyes and just breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Each breath brings in a cooling calm that spreads through my body until I’m left sweaty and depleted standing in the middle of the street. But at least I feel like myself again.
In my frantic dash, I’ve managed to stay mostly on track. After a short backtrack and a series of turns, I’m back to the research facility. Not much further and I can spend the rest of my life just being thankful that I managed to get my brother back. He’s really all I need anyway. Just a little further.
I’ve slowed to a walk and the wound in my side is back to making its presence known with every step. My legs wobble and spots form in my vision. Is my nose bleeding? A quick swipe below my left nostril confirms that is the case.
What?
Then a solid rock of exhaustion slams into me. The world shifts around me and I crash to my knees on the asphalt, dizzy and shaken. My new weapon has a price that is just now catching up with me. Something titters in the back of my mind…
If you’d just given in, it wouldn’t be like this.
Blackness presses in around the edges of my vision, but I push it away and reach for my brother, finding the thread of our connection easily.
Jace? I think I’m going to need some help.
What’s going on? Where are you? Are you okay?
The frantic pulse of his words hammers against the pain in my head.
Not far. The research facility. Did you reach Flint?
Yeah, I’m sitting in the back of his truck right now.
And Jastren?
Up front. Says he’s coming with us.
Send someone for me?
Are you okay? What’s going on? Jax?
I release the connection and settle back onto the ground. They’ll figure it out. I’m certainly not walking out of here.
Watching for animals in the clouds, I let my mind drift. There’s so much that needs to be done. Exploring my abilities. Returning to Bridgelake to keep my promise to Emily. Preparing for a war I want no part of in which there’s a piece of me on either side and against
people
that shouldn’t be my enemy. So very much to do.
My head lolls from side to side and I find myself tracking the flight of a large bird. I whistle, a simple call my father taught me, and reach my hand up. Surprisingly, the bird changes its course to head toward me, flying lower and lower…until a face blocks my view.
For a moment, with the sun behind him, his hair looks golden with bits of green and my traitor heart tries to leap, but my eyes adjust and show me blond hair instead, with bits of leaves scattered through it. Blue eyes, like the sky without clouds peer down at me.
“You’re in deep trouble, aren’t you? Me too actually.” I pat his cheek and giggle. “Did Jace give you the ‘I can’t believe you didn’t listen to me’ glare? Don’t worry I’m sure you boys will kiss and make up.” I laugh, a ragged sound that evolves into a sob and then I’m crying again while Flint gathers me into his arms and picks me up off the ground.
He doesn’t say anything, just plods along the street carrying me with my head resting on his shoulder. Not an unpleasant way to travel, certainly better than walking.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He pauses and tilts his head to the side so he can see my face. “For what? You didn’t do anything wrong Jax.”
“I’ve done a lot of wrong…” My voice trails off and I shake my head softly, tallying up my wrongs. Jace’s pain when I turned away from him. The blood leaking from Rym’s nose. The thunk of a knife into Zach’s neck. Me, battered, bruised and bloody, knife in hand and two slit throats before me. “A lot.”
His steps start up again, steady and even. “Nonsense. Anything you think you’ve done wrong can’t possibly overshadow what you’ve done for Jace today.”
I don’t respond and we walk in silence. When the barrier is in view, I feel a tug at my mind. Not Jace, someone else, tugging gently on a broken green string.
No words come through and even the emotions are faint, but it’s just enough that I know Lir is trying to get my attention. I squeeze my eyes shut, close the connection and bury my face in Flint’s chest. “Walk faster,” I say.
Once we cross the barrier, I don’t have to try so hard to shut out the intruder.
Flint places me in the back of the truck and I scoot up until I’m beside the cab. My brother looks at me with a combination of relief and exasperation and pulls me into a hug then lays down with his head in my lap. I absently stroke his hair and stare into the distance, letting the warmth of our connection blot out everything else…for now.
The rumble of the truck starting jostles me. I watch the receding city until it’s out of sight, the entire time Lir flutters around in my head, his attempts at contact getting weaker and weaker until they cease completely. Something squeezes my hand and I look down to find Jace’s eyes studying me.
“It’s going to be okay,” he says.
But I know it’s not. I don’t know if anything is ever going to be okay again.
EPILOGUE
One Week Later…
“Try again,” says Jastren.
Closing my eyes with a huff, I try to focus on linking with him. Still no luck. Though my connection with Jace is as strong as ever, no matter what I do I can’t connect with Jastren. Or anyone else for that matter. I’ve even attempted to follow Jace’s connection to Flint with no success.
“Concentrate on hearing my broadcast and—”
“Visualize the words and follow them through the link.” I grit my teeth. “I know how to do it. I just can’t. Repeating yourself isn’t helping, Gramps.” In fact, I wish he’d just shut up about the whole thing, but apparently he’s not going to give it a rest.
“Jasmine…”
I roll my eyes. “It’s Jax. Just because there’s some alien tradition about names, doesn’t mean I’m changing mine.” I shoot up and head toward the door. “This is a waste of time. I’m going to get some air.”
Jace’s voice calls out from one of the back bedrooms. “Why don’t you split some more wood while you’re out there? It’s getting chilly in here.”
“You’re not helpless. Hobble on over and do it yourself,” I yell back.
There’s a thump and I hear the sound of Jace’s crutches carrying him across the floor until he pokes his head out of the doorway. “Ha ha, Sis. You want me to break the other leg?”
“It would save me the trouble of breaking it for you,” says Flint from the living room. “You don’t make for a very agreeable patient…”
“Aw come on, you’re supposed to be on my side.” Jace makes his way across the room and plops down on the couch beside Flint. Leaning backward over Flint’s lap with his face up, he bats his eyelashes and sticks his lower lip out. “You know you love me.”
Flint stares into his eyes for a moment with a soft smile. “I guess so,” he says with an exaggerated sigh.
Jace grins and winks. “I knew it.” He leans up and presses a kiss to Flint’s cheek.
Flint blushes and rolls his eyes. “But if you ever do something so stupid as to get yourself abducted by aliens again, I’m gonna have to rethink that.”
“You could always just send my sister in after me again.” Jace straightens and sits back into the couch.
And here it comes… They’ve been needling at each other since we got here.
“What did you expect me to do? Sit there? Do nothing?” Flint tosses his hands in the air. “It’s not like I forced her to go. I tried to stop her. She would have gone anyway. Isn’t that right, Jax?”
I put my hands up and take a step back. “I’m not in this guys. This is between you two.”
Jace narrows his eyes and jerks his thumb at Flint. “
He
was supposed to protect you. Not let you wander off with some damn erk,” a glance at Jastren, “sorry Grandfather.”
“Well how was I to know who he was? It’s not like I had any long conversations with the…guy.” Flint turns until he’s facing my brother. “
You
shouldn’t have—”
“Just stop it!” My yell brings both of their faces to me. “You’re both safe. You’re together. Why can’t you just be grateful for that? I’m just so sick…Why don’t you… Ugh!” I throw my hands up and stomp out of the cabin. The crisp air clears my head and I head over to the woodpile. Splitting firewood actually sounds like a good way to blow off some steam.
Being back at Peter’s cabin is hard. Being back here with the two bickering lovebirds and my disappointed in me grandfather is torture. Of all the people here, Peter’s the only one who doesn’t want anything from me. He doesn’t ask me a bunch of questions. He isn’t worried about the link. And he doesn’t push me when I just want to be left alone. Peter’s more than happy to chatter away at me and doesn’t care much whether I respond or not and I’ve found that I actually enjoy his company, more than anyone else here. Even still, I’ve never felt more alone.
I’m happy for my brother, I really am. And Flint too. Jastren…I guess he’s family and he’s been kind of helpful, at least for Jace who can actually link with him. I just wish…
I squeeze my eyes shut to block out the thought and the burn of tears.
Nothing. I wish for nothing.
So far we’ve learned from Jastren that some of our abilities are normal for the E’rikon— the telepathy, the emotional connection; some are very rare— the sharing of energy; and there is one that is solely our own— the manipulation of other’s emotions. While the
dhama
will allow E’rikon to feel others’ emotions, they can’t ‘push’ emotions at each other like Jace and, apparently, I can.
Good news, that means Lir never manipulated my emotions…Bad news, I almost wish he had. I may have picked up on his emotions and they may have had some sort of calming effect on me, especially once the bond was formed, but he couldn’t have
made
me fall in love with him, couldn’t have forced the bond to use it against me. So, he didn’t lie about that…just nearly everything else according to Jastren. The thought that I managed to fall for Lir on my own eats at me. I never should have trusted him. How could I have been so blind?
It doesn’t matter. He means nothing to me now.
No one knows about what I did to Rym, well, except Rym that is. If he survived. I don’t know that it’s the weapon Vitrad had in mind or if there’s some other horrifying ability even farther down in the blackness from which I’ve now drawn twice. Either way, Jace and Jastren seem a little too excited to find a way to weaponize us and I’m not entirely sure that’s a good idea.
I came back from the blackness the first time with the help of my brother. Empathy brought me back the second time— just barely. What’s left that could bring me back a third time? For that matter, what’s to stop my brother from falling into that dark hatred himself if he were to unlock the ability?
I will never tell them.
Now that I know about the emotional control Jace has over me, I’m able to block it out. He wasn’t too thrilled about that, but I told him I had to learn to control my own emotions. I can’t afford to be dependent on someone else for my own sanity. Besides, I’ve had a little practice now and each day it gets a little easier.
It’s been a slow process though. When we first got back to Peter’s cabin, Daniel was still here. He stepped a bit too close to me and I attacked. I nearly killed him before Flint managed to pull me off of him. Daniel and the other two soldiers left soon after that, heading to Bridgelake to report in to Dane. I suppose we’ll eventually make it back there too, but with Jace’s leg broken and winter approaching, we probably won’t be able to leave until spring.
Or until Vitrad wises up and starts looking for us.
After I’ve got a nice stack of firewood split, I drop the maul and sit on the ground with my back against the woodshed. It’s early for it, but in the past couple days, the temperature has dropped rapidly and with the sky as white as it is, I wouldn’t be surprised if it snowed soon, just what I need. It’d be another excuse for Jastren to keep me cooped up in the cabin trying to get the link to work.
I run a hand over my face and sigh. Might as well get a long walk in while I still can. As I reach the edge of the woods, Peter pokes his head out the front door.
“Just the person I was looking for. I see you’re headed off on a walk. Would you mind horribly if I came along with you? I’ve just been in the house much too long and some air would be good for this old man. I’d invite the others, but I can’t imagine Jace could get around on those crutches out here very well. And young Flint just won’t leave his side. Reminds me a bit of your young man—” Peter actually manages to stop one of his own rambles. He swallows and gives me a weak smile. “So, do you mind some company?”
“It’s fine,” I say.
Leaves crunch under our feet as we make our way through the trees. Peter’s quiet, whether it’s because he feels guilty for slipping up earlier or he has picked up on the fact that I need the silence of the forest right now, I don’t know. Either way, I’m thankful for it.
Twenty minutes later we reach a small clearing and stop to rest against a tree. The pause gives him an opening to start speaking.
“I think it is time we talked, my dear. I may not have had a congregation in a very long time, but I still know the look of someone who has lost their way and perhaps could use an ear to listen.” He pauses and takes a deep breath in through his nose. “There is nothing you can say that will make me think any less of you. I am not here to judge you.”