Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1) (18 page)

‘
Jesus!
’ She slams a fist back against the wall behind her and lets out another cry, and I need to rein her in now. She’s gotta get some focus here if we’re gonna do this…
shit!
Am I really gonna help her fucking
kill
members of Viper’s crew just so she can feel better about herself? What kinda fucking dumbass prick
am
I? One with a freakin’ death wish…

I reach out and grab her wrist, to stop her from hurting herself more than anything, and her eyes, man, they’re cold as fucking ice. ‘Get your head in the game, sweetheart. Or you’re gonna end up joining your fiancé and your daddy, you got that?’

She wrenches her arm free of my grip, and I swear I didn’t see that slap coming; her hand catches my face so hard it knocks my head right back and,
Jesus
! She is
good
, but I ain’t taking that, not from her, not from any woman, least of all some wannabe biker bitch.

I grab her arm again, grasping it tighter this time as I slam her back against the wall. ‘What the
fuck
was that for?’

Her eyes are still blazing as they burn into mine but she’s gonna get this message, and if I have to hurt her in order for her to take this shit in then I’ll do it. I’ll fucking hurt her.

‘Don’t talk about Aiden and my dad, don’t do that…’

I squeeze her arm tighter and she don’t even flinch. ‘Listen to me, darlin’. You want my help with this crazy retribution you’re hell-bent on carrying out, I’ll talk about who the fuck I like…’

‘I told you. I don’t
want
your fucking help.’

I’ve had enough. This bitch is wearing me down. But then I look at her, and her eyes are giving me messages I can’t fucking read now. And then she pushes herself against me and she’s kissing me like some coked-up mama at a clubhouse party and I’m on her, man, she is driving me freakin’ crazy on every fucking level.

Her fingers claw at my skin and I reach up under her skirt and drag her panties down, thrusting into her before I even take another breath, I just need to be inside her. She’s like the worst fucking drug I’ve ever tried, and I’ve tried plenty. But this one – she’s freakin’ addictive. In the worst possible way.

Slamming her back against the wall she cries out as I pound into her, and I slide a hand up under her ass and lift her up, her legs wrapping around me and I can barely catch my fucking breath. My throat’s tight, my chest constricted but my cock, man, that’s having the best freakin’ time!

Her moans are long and loud as I thrust harder, because I can’t slow down, I can’t do it, and my heart is freakin’ racing but I’m on some kinda crazy auto-pilot here. I can’t stop, and she’s screaming and crying out my name and her fingers are scratching my skin and I am so fucking turned-on. And then I’m spilling out inside her, pumping everything I have into her and she pushes herself against me and squeezes my hips with her thighs and I’m still coming like a freakin’ freight train, it won’t fucking stop. She pisses me off, and all I want to do is fuck her.
Shit!
This girl is one dangerous piece of work.

‘
I
want to kill them,’ she whispers, her mouth resting against mine as I try to catch my breath because my throat, Jesus, it fucking hurts. ‘I want to hold that gun in my hand and pull the fucking trigger, Mack. Me.
I
want to do that. I
need
to do that.’

I don’t think she has any idea what she’s getting into here. She’s saying the words but I ain’t sure she really knows how dangerous things are for her right now; for us.

I say nothing, I ain’t getting into this now. I need to think about what part the Soldiers of Darkness are gonna play in her twisted game and I ain’t even begun to do that yet, so I say nothing. And she smiles, and I know she ain’t gonna change her mind. She came here with an endgame, and she’s made it obvious she ain’t leaving until she’s done.

I put her down and she kicks me away, and I watch as she sinks to the floor, opens her legs and touches herself. I can’t take my eyes off her as she slides her fingers inside her pussy and I know she wants me to watch. Of course she fucking does.

Sinking to my haunches I briefly raise my gaze to meet hers, and her eyes are still cold and hard and she has to be the most beautiful monster I’ve ever seen. She’s all twisted to hell; messed-up and broken and so fucking beautiful. She’s got me in some place I ain’t ever been before, and outta choice I’d never have come near here, this place she’s got me in. But I’m kinda trapped now.

She throws back her head and closes her eyes and that’s my cue to drop my gaze, and she’s all wide-open and wet and her fingers, man, she’s pulling them in and out of herself so slowly it’s like freakin’ torture. And my cock’s reacting again, it ain’t getting no rest around this one, but I want to see her bring herself off. I want to watch her come, and, man, she is killing me!

‘Come on, baby girl. I’m watching.’

I think she wants me to let her know I’m doing that. She’s just as twisted as I am when it comes to sex, I don’t think that’s an act. I ain’t saying she’s always been that way, but I think she’s that way now. I’ve been with plenty of filthy bitches and whores in my time and I know when someone’s acting; when they’re putting on a show. And this one, she ain’t putting on no show. She’s for real.

And as soon as I say the words she pulls her fingers out and starts rubbing herself slowly and carefully until her whole body shudders and shakes and it takes just a second for me to free my cock and pull her onto me. I’m sinking back inside her and she ain’t even finished coming. But she’s still playing. She’s taking me deep and riding me hard and my head is fucking out of it. I’m dying, man. I’m freakin’ dying! This crazy bitch is killing me. And ain’t that the fucking truth…

Chapter Eighteen

Izzi

‘Is everything OK, Izzi?’

I lean back against the wall and take a swig of beer, my eyes meeting those of one of the prospects Mack’s installed as a permanent feature outside. He throws me a smile but I don’t return it. I’m not in the mood, so I turn away and focus on the road ahead. It’s a little way in the distance but close enough for me to hear the traffic noise. I find it weirdly comforting. ‘Everything’s fine. I can handle it.’

‘I’m not comfortable with this. Maybe it’s time to…’

I take another swig of beer. ‘No! I said I can handle it, Sam.’

‘You don’t have to do everything alone, Izzi. I can…’

‘I said no. I made a mistake, and I’ll deal with it.’ And I think I may be sounding braver than I actually feel, but I don’t want Sam to think I’m weak. I had a moment, a lapse, and I made a mistake, but I’ll deal with it.

I down the last of my beer and throw the empty bottle onto the porch floor, kicking it up against the wooden railings. The noise causes the prospect to turn sharply in my direction, and this time he throws me a harder look. I return that one.

‘Maybe it was too soon, to send you out there.’

‘I just want to get it over with now, Sam.’

‘Then we need to talk.’

I sigh quietly and push a hand through my hair. ‘Mack’s got eyes on me constantly. I can’t get away.’

‘Let this be one problem
I
deal with, Izzi. You just sit tight. I’ll speak to you soon.’

I’ve no sooner ended the call when I feel the phone being ripped from my hand and I look up to see the prospect standing there, an expression on his face now that’s a mixture of anger and frustration. ‘No phones, Izzi. No contact with anyone outside of the club, Mack made that clear.’

‘Well, Mack’s eye obviously wasn’t one hundred per cent on the ball, was it, otherwise I wouldn’t have still had that, would I?’

He tucks my phone into his cut pocket and turns away, striding down the porch steps, back to his bike that’s parked just inside the fenced-in front yard. I stick my hands in my pockets and walk back inside, keeping the door open. The fresh air’s nice.

I go into my bedroom and kick the door shut behind me. The bedroom’s the only place where I feel like no one’s watching me, even though I know there’s another prospect just outside. I’m being watched constantly.

I crouch down and slide an arm underneath the bed, pulling out a holdall. It’s full of things Sam gave me; reminders of my time with him, and I sit back against the bed and start to rummage around inside. I smile to myself as I pull out a notepad and flick through the pages of scribbled notes, remembering how Sam had laughed because I had been, to all intents and purposes, making my own crib sheets. He’d laughed, but he’d let me carry on because I’d only been there a few days. I was new, to everything that now comes naturally to me. And I smile again as I come to the blank pages; when I’d realized that making notes was a ridiculous idea, what the hell had I been thinking?

I throw the pad back into the holdall and pull out a photograph, staring at it as though it was the first time I’d seen it. I owe everything to Sam. And fate. I’d be nothing without him; I’d be nobody. I’d still be this angry young woman with a need for revenge and no idea how to go about getting it. He helped me channel that anger, harness in that rage – to some extent, anyway. I think I might have let him down slightly now. I think I might have let
myself
down.

I throw my head back and close my eyes, sighing deep and heavy, my fingers still clutching the photograph. And then I hear footsteps outside in the hall and I quickly shove the photograph into the back pocket of my jeans and scramble to my feet, kicking the holdall back under the bed, my heart beating ten to the dozen.

‘Hey! Izzi! Where are ya, darlin’?’

I head back outside, and Odi’s there – Mack’s VP. I wasn’t expecting him, but then, they just turn up when they feel like it. Mack sends them with food and supplies but I haven’t seen Mack himself for a couple of days now.

‘Where you been?’ Odi fixes me with a suspicious look but he doesn’t intimidate me, even though he’d probably like to think he does.

‘Bathroom. Oh, sorry, did you want to watch?’

He’s still staring at me, and then his face breaks into a leer that turns my stomach slightly. ‘Yeah. Mack’s right. You
do
have a smart mouth on you.’

‘And did Mack tell you where he likes my smart mouth to go?’ I move closer to him and take hold of his cut, pulling him towards me. ‘Around his hard, throbbing cock. That’s where.’ And then I let him go and laugh at his confused expression. I got to get my kicks somewhere. I’m bored out of my mind stuck here.

‘There’s a name for girls like you.’ Odi jerks his head in the direction of a large brown paper bag on the kitchen table. ‘Supplies. Mack says to make sure you’re eating.’

‘Couldn’t be bothered to come check on me himself, huh?’ I walk over to the bag and peer inside, inspecting the canned food, selection of fruit and vegetables, some steak, beer and a bottle of bourbon.

‘He’s busy, sweetheart.’

I look up, and the expression on Odi’s face is one that tells me he doesn’t like me all that much. No surprise. And totally understandable, of course.

‘Does everyone know?’ I ask, pulling a beer from the bag and offering it to Odi who takes it and bites off the lid, immediately downing half the bottle in one mouthful.

‘About the crap you started?’ He shakes his head and leans back against the counter. ‘He’s only told me and Gator, our Sergeant-at-Arms. No need for the rest to know anything, unless they need to.’

‘Do you think they will? Need to know, I mean?’

He shrugs. ‘Probably.’

I fold my arms and narrow my eyes as I watch him drink his beer and scan the kitchen.

‘Everything OK here?’ His eyes fall back on mine and I nod.

‘Everything’s just fine.’

He laughs quietly, finishes his beer and leaves the empty bottle on the countertop. ‘Any problems, let Denny, Fitz or Cam know. Other than that, keep your head down and wait.’

I watch him go and then pull myself up onto the countertop, crossing my legs and reaching round to pull the photograph from my pocket.

‘I really need to see you, Sam,’ I whisper.

The reality of what I’ve done; what I’ve gotten myself into, it’s beginning to dawn on me now. I’ve stood still, and that adrenaline rush that’s got me through so many long and tiring months, it’s slowing down and I’m scared. But I’m not backing down. I can’t change what I’ve done, but I can control what’s about to happen…

Mack

‘She OK?’

‘Still got a mouth on her.’ Odi kicks his chair away from the table and sits down, leans back and swings his feet up as he slides a cigarette between his teeth. ‘You need to teach that chick some respect, Mack.’ He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a phone, throwing it over to me. ‘Hers. You shoulda checked her properly, Pres.’

I grab the phone and shove it in my pocket. I’ll check it later. Right now we got shit to discuss. ‘No trouble?’ I direct that question at Odi, and he shakes his head before blowing smoke up into the air. ‘Good. Let’s hope it stays that way.’

I’ve called Viper, and he’s still pissed as hell. If there’s one thing Viper hates more than anything it’s being made to look a fool, and Izzi, she kinda did that. She’s playing a game he got no handle on and he’s right to be suspicious, but I think I might have managed to talk him outta doing something rash. For the time being, anyway. We might’ve got ourselves some breathing space at least.

‘I’ve got a sit-down with Viper and his VP tonight.’ I lean back, one arm slung casually across the back of my chair at the head of the table, the other one holding onto the gavel, absent-mindedly turning it round and around between my fingers. ‘We gotta think of something to tell ‘em that’ll keep ‘em happy.’

‘You ever managed to pacify Viper before?’ Odi takes another drag on his cigarette and fixes me with a look that says he don’t think I can pull this off. I can. I have to. I don’t have a choice. If Viper thinks there’s even the slightest hint that Izzi could be a threat to his club, he’ll wipe that threat away, and like I told her, he don’t discriminate. He don’t care. ‘Look, Mack…’ Odi stubs out his cigarette on the underside of the table and leans forward. ‘We’ve all seen her up on that stage in
Laney’s
, and there ain’t no one gonna say they wouldn’t be boning her too, given the chance. It’s understandable. She might be one crazy bitch but she’s got tits to die for…’

I narrow my eyes and stare him down because talking about her like that, that don’t sit well with me.

‘You’re thinking with your dick, Mack. You need to get rid of her, get her out of here; prove to Viper that she ain’t our problem. She ain’t
anyone’s
problem.’

I turn my head to look at Gator. ‘You feel the same way?’

‘Ever since you let her get under your skin…’ He shrugs, and I try to batter down the slow-burning anger I can feel rising up. ‘I dunno. But you don’t usually go back for seconds, Mack. And you been dining out on this one.’

For fuck’s sake!

‘We go to Viper, tonight, and we tell him she ain’t no trouble. She’s just a confused biker groupie who’s been keeping her options open, you got that?’ I look from one to the other but neither seems to be buying it. ‘We got a problem here?’

‘He ain’t gonna go for that, Mack.’

‘You suddenly got an insight into how Viper thinks now, huh?’

Odi lights up another cigarette and offers me one. I take it. I could do with some kinda hit and there ain’t nothing else available right now. ‘Come on, Mack, you know he ain’t gonna just take that and go. He’s gonna want answers, and he’s gonna want to hear them from that beautiful bitch herself.’

‘Well he ain’t gonna get that, so we gotta try and
make
him buy whatever shit we spin him, OK?’

‘Whatever you say,’ Gator sighs, and I slowly turn to look at him.

‘You don’t wanna do this? Fine. I’ll go on my own, I’ll sort this shit out, but you don’t…’ What the fuck is happening to me? I stand up and rake both hands through my hair, pacing the floor behind my chair as I try and claw back some kinda composure because I came close to losing it there. She’s got my head in a freakin’ mess, because I know that what Odi and Gator are saying – it’s true. Some of it. Yeah, Jesus, of course I’m thinking with my dick! I ain’t fucked like that in a long time, and she’s addictive, I already found that out. The simple truth is, I don’t want her to go. I don’t want her hurt, but I don’t want her to go. Anywhere. She’s complicated, she’s trouble, and she’s giving me one hell of a headache I can do without but I don’t want her to go. So I gotta sort this. Whatever it takes.

‘Seriously, Mack, are you really gonna help her fucking
kill
 
someone? A member of a club we’re working with? That’s fucking suicide, man.’

I look at Odi, and I know he’s right. But what can I do?
 
‘You don’t wanna help me, that’s fine.’ I turn to face Gator. ‘Same goes for you. I can’t force you to do this, this ain’t your problem…’

‘We ain’t gonna let you do this on your own, Pres.’ Gator stands up and slaps me on the shoulder. ‘We’re in this together, remember? We’re a family.’

I hug him, and the relief that floods my body is a surprise. Am I being selfish? Putting the lives of my brothers on the line because I need to help a girl I’ve got all kinds of messed-up feelings for?