Broken Souls (14 page)

“I supposed I’d better, hadn’t I?” He sighed and stepped past her into the bathroom. “We’ll leave as soon as I’m done,” he called out.

~

Managing to snag an empty double seat on the bus, Ashley scooted over to the window and made room for Marco to sit down beside her. Placing her bag onto her lap, she turned to the window on her right and looked out at the normal busy streets of London.

“How far is it?” Marco asked, looking past her to
see outside.

She noticed that his legs were spread apart and his knee was now lightly brushing against her leg. The contact
was simple, but enough to keep her on her toes

“Just down the road,” she coughed, discreetly crossing one leg over the other, breaking the connection between them. “It won’t take too long if the roads aren’t that busy.”

Marco nodded. “So... Will everyone be there today?”

Ashley couldn’t deny that this bus journey was her most uncomfortable yet. The awkward tension in the air was palpable as evidenced by the small talk ensuing between them. This was the type of atmosphere that she couldn’t get on with. The usual smelly people and drunkards on the bus had nothing on the air currently around her.

“I think so,” Ashley murmured distractedly, her eyes spotting the usual sights that she saw on her daily commute to work.

She didn’t notice when Marco leaned in and swiped her hair away from her ear. “I’m looking forward to meeting this guy you have been dating,
cara,
” he whispered teasingly against her lobe.

Ashley was grateful at that moment to be facing the window as her jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe that she had been so stupid to bring Marco face to face with Ben. It was a disaster waiting to happen and it was all her fault.

“Y-You have to keep your distance,” she warned, edging closer to the edge of her seat. “We are
friends
, right?” She scoffed at her own classification of their relationship; they were friends when it suited her.

Ashley knew t
here was no way that she could let Marco anywhere near Ben. If he subtly mentioned anything about last night then things would be ruined for good. She was hoping to let him down gently because it was the right thing to do. But it appeared that Marco had a point that he wanted to prove.

“This is us,” she said, leaning across him to press the bell.

Standing up, they both made their way to the front of the bus and waited for the next stop. Ashley held onto a nearby handle while Marco stood closely behind, his presence always known by the deep and rhythmic rise and fall of his chest that he gently pushed up against her.

“Thank you,” Ashley said, nodding to the bus driver as she and Marco stepped off. Spinning around on the spot, she watched him carefully as he righted his suit jacket and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s literally a few buildings down.” She gestured along the street with her hand.

“Let’s go,” he nodded. “I’m looking forward to meeting every—” He paused and opened the inside of his jacket to retrieve his mobile phone that was beeping nosily. “Excuse me,” he apologised, answering the call and putting it to his ear. “Sophia?”

Ashley stilled as Marco flicked a nervous glance in her direction.

“Please, slow down. What are you trying to say?” he asked quickly, his brows drawing together in confusion. “Why are you in London? I don’t understand.”

She watched him bite his lower lip as fear began to twi
nkle in his eyes. Something was wrong judging from his expression, but he was trying to keep it well-guarded.

“
Si
...” he murmured with an exasperated sigh. “But we already went through all of this, Sophia.” His fingers gripped the phone tightly, his knuckles slowly turning white from the force of his grip.

Ashley’s heart was thudding in her chest. She
guessed that this was the same Sophia he had ended his previous arrangement with. The fact that she was on the phone with him now worried her a little. It sounded as if she was here, in London, to see him.

“Do you want me to come and meet you?” he offered, his eyes locking
onto Ashley. “I don’t want you to be upset and wandering around the middle of London with nowhere to go.” He paused and waited for her response. “Have you booked into a hotel? I’ll come and find you and we can talk. Please, don’t get yourself so upset.”

Ashley met Marco’s eyes with a pleading stare.
She mouthed across for him not to leave her and that she wanted him to stay.

Marco
pursed his lips and shook his arm to reveal his watch. “
Si...
I’ll leave now and I’ll call you when I’m outside the hotel.
Ciao
.” He ended the call and turned back to Ashley’s wounded expression. “
Cara
, I’m sorry, but I have to leave.”

“W-Was that
her
?” Ashley asked, her face contorting with pain as she tried to keep a lid on the hurt she could feel digging into her heart. “It was Sophia, right?”

He heaved a sigh and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. “
Si
, Sophia is in London at the moment and doesn’t seem to be handling things very well. She heard about Gabby and came to find me. She’s hurting and wants to talk.”

“She must really mean something to you
,” Ashley sniffed, avoiding eye contact with him. “If you’re leaving to go and find her then she’s affected you more than you think.”

“
No, it isn’t like that. She’s just upset becau—”

Ashley interrupted him with a weak smile.
“Don’t worry, Marco. I get it.”

“
Cara
...”

“Honestly, it’s fine.
”

Stepping forward into her personal space, Marco leaned down and kissed her lightly on each cheek. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, of course,” she replied, turning and quickly walking down the street towards the dental practice. She had to get away from the situation.
She couldn’t believe that he was leaving her to go after his ex-girlfriend.

Nausea swirled in the vault of her stomach.

The girl must have gotten under his skin a little. There was no way that the Marco she knew would go after a girl unless there was a pretty good reason. He wasn’t one to pander to the cries and pleas of women, unless of course they were under him and in his bed.

But she could sense that this was different.
Sophia was coming back to try and win Marco’s heart, and so far, she looked to be succeeding.

Ashley braced herself for the onslaught she was about to face as she pushed open the door into the dental practice. There wasn’t any sign of a smile on her lips as she stepped into reception and caught the eye of Claire who was working the main desk today.

Claire looked up from her computer screen. “Ashley? I didn’t think you were working this week?” she asked, her eyes wide with surprise. She pushed her chair back from the desk, her face filled with sympathy as she stood. “I’m so sorry to hear about what happened. Gabby, she was such a lovely person.”

Unlike most of the women that she worked with, Ashley knew that Claire’s reaction was genuine and honest. The young girl worked on the reception desk, booking in appointments and greeting patients as they entered. She was full of life and had a heart of gold, which she always managed to show.

“Thank you,” Ashley murmured quietly, a soft smile gracing her lips for a fleeting moment. “I just thought I’d pop in and see people while I was out and about.”

Claire swallowed and nodded. “Patrick is in with a patient, but Ben has got a thirty minute slot free because of a cancellation if you want to go in?”

She pondered her decision as she flicked a glance towards the corridor where the treatment rooms were. A few of the girls were flitting in between rooms with the other dentists, and a couple of them even paused and offered a meek smile when they saw her.

“Erm… Claire? What happened to Ben’s appointment? Did you even bother to call the client to remind them?” Melissa’s harsh voice penetrated the core of Ashley’s brain. “We don’t have time for patients cancelling; we need to make sure that we have a constant stream of appointments at all times. Oh…I wasn’t aware that you were coming in today?” Melissa replied snidely, cocking her head to the side. “And what do we owe this pleasure? I thought that you were off this week?”

Ashley’s blood was starting to boil. “Claire, I
will
go in and see Ben if he’s free,” she replied, dismissing Melissa was a curt nod of her head.

“Ben’s busy!” Melissa snapped, following hot on her heels as she headed for his treatment room.

“I was told that he’s free for the next thirty minutes,” Ashley replied, ignoring her comments.

She looked through the glass panel on the front of Ben’s door and spotted him sat at the computer, his hands busily typing away at a document displayed on the screen. Pushing open the door, Ashley stepped inside and was closely followed by Melissa.

“I can get her to leave if you want?” she asked, throwing a seething glare in Ashley’s direction. “I told her that you were busy and she still insisted on barging in.”

“Melissa...” Ben closed down the document he was working on and spun round on his chair to face them. “Can you leave please?” His tone was friendly but firm with her. “I want to talk to Ashley.”

Discreetly watching out of the corner of her eye, Ashley saw the shock register on Melissa’s face. It was hilarious and also extremely hard for her to hold in her amusement at the situation. Ben was laying down the law and she absolutely loved it.

“See you later, Melissa,” Ashley said with a sickly sweet smile. She wiggled her fingers cockily as she left the room, a few choice curse words being muttered under her breath as she went.

“So what brings you here?” Ben smiled and rubbed his hands together eagerly. “Couldn’t keep away, hey?” He stood from the chair and closed the distance between them. “I couldn’t get you out of my head either,” he replied with a seductive grin. “Have you come to tell me what I want to hear?” he asked, running his hands along the length of her arms until his fingers entwined with hers.

Panic swirled in Ashley’s stomach. She didn’t really do well with being put on the spot like this. “I still need some time,” she replied, trying to loosen her fingers from his grasp.

An hour earlier and her words would have been a complete lie. But thinking about it now, Ashley wasn’t so sure of the decision she had made about her relationship with Ben. It was something that was here and now as opposed to the possibility and failure that could ensue with Marco.

She hadn’t
completely confessed her feelings to him yet, so there was still a high risk that he could shoot her down. Then she would have given up both men in her life. At least if she denied herself Marco then she could still have Ben.

Although if she followed her heart truly then her honesty and feelings towards Marco could all be for nothing anyway. Sophia was back on the scene and appeared to have gotten under his skin. For all she knew, he was on his way to meet with her to reconcile what they had, and that last night was nothing but a filler fuck to tide him over.

She could have Ben right now if she wanted. He was secure and wasn’t going anywhere, so her feelings for him would have chance to develop and grow if she let them. It was the safest option that she had right now and the one that protected her the most. As long as she kept her distance from Marco and shut down the lingering memories of last night, then she would be absolutely fine.

“Should I help you with your decision?” Ben whispered, squeezing her fingers gently as he lowered his head and captured her lips.

She sighed as he moved over her mouth
—
gently, softly, controlled and sweet.

Of course he was still being nice to her despite the way she had been treating him. He was truly one in a million, and she couldn't fault him. It was just a shame that her feelings hadn’t yet shone through as brightly for him as they had for Marco. But she was simply scared of what would happen if her mind slipped back to reveal all of her darkened glory that she had once possessed. There was no doubt in her mind that he would turn and run screaming for the hills if that day ever returned.

“God, you are so beautiful,” Ben murmured, his hands separating from their hold so that he could cup her face.

She felt his fingers gently applying pressure against her skin. It was a pre-warning sign that he was about to kiss her again. She knew that she was supposed to pull away from him about now, but she couldn't. Every part of her body was paralysed from fear, excitement and nervousness. There was a range of emotions flooding her system all at once. There were just too many for her to keep track of before she felt the soft fullness of Ben's lips once again.

This time he increased his pace, moving in a quick, sensual rhythm that she knew was supposed to set her insides alight with all of the pent up lust and sexual tension within her body.

But it just didn't have that spark she was looking for.

Truthfully, Ashley wasn't quite sure what to make of the kiss. She closed her eyes and tried to feel through the blur of emotions, hoping to salvage the small flicker for Ben that she had felt in the past.

But his lips weren't the same.

She tried to push the sudden thoughts of Marco from her mind as she parted her lips to the sweep of Ben's invading tongue. He wasn't important right now. It was all about the man who stood before her. He was the one that she needed to focus on, and not the one that had left her to chase after his ex-girlfriend.

Muttering a low moan, Ashley reached out to Ben’s arms and pressed her fingers into his biceps, digging her nails deeply through the sleeves of the jumper he was wearing.

Ben's grip tightened, her reaction seeming to please him as she swallowed the groans emanating from the back of his throat. He sounded gruff; an unusual hoarseness evident in his voice. It unsettled her slightly, hearing how emotionally connected he was becoming with her, especially when she wasn't exactly sure where her feelings for him lay.

It was still an ambiguous subject within the clouded confines of her own thoughts. Like a hazy, darkened fog that she just couldn't fight through. Each cloud hit her as a new obstacle.

But was she leading him on? She had to decide what she
actually
felt for him because it wasn’t fair. The more Ashley thought about it, the more her uncertainty about them grew.

She wasn't sure of anything anymore because everything in her life just appeared to be in tatters. It was irreparable.

More than anything she wished that she could turn the clock back. Not just by a few days before Gabby's accident, but a few years if she could. There were things in her past that were so far beyond repair that she wished she could go back and fix.

“Ben, stop.” Ashley loosened her grip on his biceps and pulled away. “We can't...” She dropped her head in shame realising that she
was
leading him on.

“Shit, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just... Fuck.” Ben let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

“It’s fine,” Ashley said, trying to shake it off. “Look, I’d better get going. I’ll text you later or something,” she said, turning on the spot and leaving before he had chance to try and call her back.

~

“
Hello?” Ashley called out as she closed the front door and kicked off her shoes. Dropping her bag on the sofa, she cast a wary glance along the hall at her open bedroom door. The sheets were still messy and there was no sign of Marco having returned. “I figured he wouldn’t be back,” she scoffed, heading to the fridge.

After sorting herself with a microwaveable lasagne and a bottle of water, Ashley slumped herself on the sofa in front of the television. She started flicking through a selection of channels, despite her mind being elsewhere.

She knew what she was doing to Ben wasn’t fair. He was hanging on like a lost puppy and she just didn’t have the heart to finally break things off with him, although she knew that she should. She had treated him like shit and knew he probably wouldn’t forgive her if he found out about Marco. Although they hadn’t confirmed their exclusivity yet, it was still a shady thing she had done to him.

Her mind
was telling her to try and forget about Marco and to focus on repairing what she had with Ben. She needed to remember that Marco wasn't here for her and he was going to be leaving again shortly, whereas Ben had the possibility of becoming a more permanent fixture in her life.

But c
ould she really give up the opportunity of making things work with him? Would it be something she would live to regret in the end by letting him go?

Ashley heard her
phone chime in her bag.

Setting her plate on the coffee table, she flipped open the clasp and pulled out the device to check her messages. Coincidently, Ben's name flashed across the screen.

Ben:
Hey :) U alright? Just heard about Gabby's funeral next week. You wanna go together? BTW... I’m sorry about earlier. X

She sighed. He was too nice to be with a girl like her. She didn’t deserve the care and affection that seemed to be pouring off of him.

Ashley: I'm good. Just don't know what to do with myself at the minute. Not sure of plans for next week. Keep you posted? X

She didn't have to wait long for his response as it appeared almost immediately.

Ben: Fancy going out Friday night? It’ll be good to get out of the flat for a bit? X

Reading his response, she toyed with the idea in her head. It would be a chance for her to repair some of the damage she had caused, and a great excuse for her not to be on her own. She had no idea if Marco was coming back anytime soon, and didn’t want to be waiting around for him.

Ashley: Sounds good. Where? X

A few seconds later and Ashley’s phone started ringing in her hand. She saw Ben’s name on the caller ID and answered. “Hiya,” she said cheerily, lifting her feet up onto the sofa.

“Do you fancy Eclipse on Friday night?” Ben asked, clearing his throat. “I know it’s a bit pricey, but we haven’t been in ages, right?”

“Why don’t we try someplace else?” she suggested. “I don’t know if I’m feeling it this weekend.”

“I would really like to go to Eclipse...”

“
Shit!
” She cursed under her breath, realising that she caused her own problems. She couldn't turn around and tell Ben that she had been at Eclipse last night and was now afraid of returning due to the scene she and Marco had caused.

“Okay. We’ll go to Eclipse if it makes you feel better?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood between them. “So what else happened today after I left?”

“Well, I heard that Gabby’s brother is in London to arrange the funeral. Now I've never met the bloke, but from what I hear, he is a bit of a player. The type that thinks he’s too good for everyone else. He sleeps with a woman then drops her before his dick has softened.” Ashley winced at his words. “Complete and utter prick by the sounds of things. And I bet the women he sleeps with are just as disgustingly cheap. They probably just see him for a little bit of money and nothing else. Dirty, slutty bitches.”

She remained silent as she digested his words, one small syllable at a time.
Her brain was in complete shock at his outburst. He didn’t even know Marco yet he felt that he had the right to talk about him like that?

She decided there and then that she wouldn’t
tell him that Marco was staying at her flat. What would he think if he found out that she had slept with him?