Broken Surrender (9 page)

A piece of him wanted to be offended, but he
chose to push it back and respond to her question with a question
of his own. “Why would he need to make me call?”

“Well, he seemed so set on you and I getting
together.” She paused. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just
wanted to know if you were seeing me because of Silas or not.”

Reaching over, he took her hand in his.
“Sarah, I’m here because I want to be. It would have made no
difference to me if you and Silas had no idea who the other was.
I’d still be attracted to you. You’re a beautiful woman.”

“That’s what Silas says, too, but you guys
don’t know all of me yet,” she argued.

He sighed in frustration. “Okay, so tell me
something I don’t know that would surprise me.”

She thought about it for several minutes and
then said, “I like to eat raw hamburger with just a bit of salt on
it.”

Unsure what she expected from him he nodded
patiently. “And?’

“And that’s it. I know it’s bad for me, but
I do it anyway because I like the taste.”

He shrugged, “I like my steak medium rare
because I like it juicy. So what?”

“I hate country music,” she said firmly.
“It’s all about booze, trucks, and depressing relationships.”

Laughing, he reached for the radio dial and
flipped it off. “Okay, well, that may affect the dancing portion of
the evening, but I’m still not convinced to run for the hills
yet.”

“I’m disabled.” This time, there was a
distinct shift in her tone, and he shot a quick glance over at her.
“It’s because of the back injury. The bullet went through my spine,
and I lost a kidney. The spinal injury is why I have chronic pain,
and it means I can’t work like most people. The government sends me
a we’re-sorry-you-got-hurt check every month. That’s how I
survive.”

The emotional explanation caught him off
guard, and he remained quiet as he contemplated her words. Clearly
it was a touchy subject for her, but it didn’t mean squat to him.
All that mattered was that she was okay now.

“Is there anything they can do to help you
with the pain?”

“Medication, physical therapy,
counseling.”

When he couldn’t come up with anything else
to say, he went with, “I’m sorry you got shot.”

Her burst of laughter filled the truck and
she shook her head. “Thanks, but I think it’s a bit late for
apologies, and besides, you weren’t exactly there to knock me out
of the way.”

“No, but if I had been, I would have taken
the bullet rather than see you get hurt.” Her surprise was evident
when she jerked her head in his direction and stared at him. “Just
because I wasn’t in the military doesn’t mean I don’t have mad
respect for our troops. You served and sacrificed for me just as
much as for the rest of the country, and I appreciate it. The fact
that it screwed up your whole life plan sucks, but you at least
came home. Lots of them didn’t.”

“Yep.”

That was the last thing she said until they
reached the restaurant, and Jeremy chose to let the silence be. She
seemed lost in her own thoughts, and he was having trouble
absorbing the fact that she seemed to think he wouldn’t want a
woman because she was disabled in some way. It was a physical
setback, but it wasn’t his cross to bear. It was hers. He just
wanted her to let him in enough that he could help her deal with
her demons and possibly show her some love.

~ ~ ~ ~

Sarah hadn’t laughed so hard in years. She’d
enjoyed her dinner with Jeremy so much that, when he suggested a
late night drive through the back roads and some star gazing, she
couldn’t resist. She wasn’t ready to end the night, and even
knowing how risky it was to put herself in an intimate situation
with him, she agreed.

“This road turns off in a mile and a half
and heads out east. There’s a fishing hole at the end of it that’s
perfect for skinny-dipping,” he said, as they barreled down a
gravel road into the darkness. Tall grass—or maybe it was hay—lined
the fields on either side of them held back only by barbed wire and
split log fence posts.

“We’ll save that for another time,” she said
good-naturedly. “In the daylight perhaps, when I can get a better
look.”

Jeremy cast her a sidelong glance, his lips
curled up in a smirk. “I’ll give you as long a look as you want,
sugar. Just say the word.”

Leaning her head out the open window of the
truck she inhaled deeply and then choked when a bug went up her
nose. “Ew! Oh, my god, that was gross!”

Snickering next to her, Jeremy opened the
glove box and handed her a clean bandana. “Here, you can use this
to blow your nose. You should know better girl; it’s summer in
Texas.”

Spitting and blowing until her eyes were
tearing up, she grumbled at the obvious. “I know, but the fields
smell so sweet, and I haven’t been out in the open like this in
forever. I needed this more than you know.”

He didn’t respond, but he did smile as he
pulled the truck into a small clearing at the foot of a massive
hill. He jumped out as she shoved the used bandana into her purse.
Before she could reach for her door he was there pulling it
open.

“Are those shoes safe for a little hike?” he
asked, eyeballing her flats.

“They’ll be fine as long as we’re not going
very far.” She accepted his warm hand to help her down. She liked
the way he and his brother both towered over her. The height
difference made her feel petite instead of inferior. During her
time in the Army, too many men had used their size as a weapon
against others, so she’d learned that, while not as strong, she was
quicker than most of them. Quick could be just as lethal.

“Not far, but if your feet or back start
hurting tell me right away, m’kay?” He peered down at her,
pointedly waiting for her agreement.

“Roger that,” she said with a mock
salute.

“Oh, no ya don’t. I’m not the military man;
that’s Si. I think all that saluting and posturing is silly. I much
prefer kneeling in obeisance,” he said, taking her hand and leading
her up the dirt path into the trees.

“Kneeling? You’re kidding right?” she said
with a laugh.

The look he gave her made the base of her
spine tingle with desire, and when his low, gravelly voice
murmured, “Perhaps,” she shivered, and dropped her gaze to watch
where she was going.

A part of her figured he was joking, teasing
just to get a rise out of her, but there was another part of her
that instantly pictured the two of them naked, with her on her
knees in front of him. She could imagine his muscular thighs spread
just enough to let his erection point her direction, and his body
trembling under her touch as she gave him the blow job of his life.
What would he do if she offered?

“Right. Here we are.” Jeremy drew her up a
step behind him to the crest of the hill. “Have you ever seen a
view that pretty?”

Spread out in front of them was a stunning
vista. They stood on the edge of a bluff, and below, a river rolled
slowly along. Surrounded by trees, but with epic views of the
countryside and the night sky, they were as secluded as they could
get. “Wow. Where are we?”

“That’s the Cayota River. We’re on the
Brooks family ranch, Brooks Pastures. All of us guys used to come
up here camping in the summer when we were kids. Then, when we were
teenagers, this was our secret spot to bring the ladies.” Jeremy
led her over to a well-used fire pit that was ringed by large
boulders.

“So you brought me to your version of
make-out point?” she asked.

He hesitated before answering and then said,
“Don’t think anything of it. I just wanted to share this place with
you. I thought you might appreciate it as much as I do.”

Sarah stared out at the millions of
twinkling stars in the vast darkness, and inhaled deeply. There
were no bugs this time, and she spun around grinning at him. “I
love it. Thank you for sharing it.”

Jeremy’s smile could have lit up the
countryside it was so big and beautiful in the moonlight, and she
laughed, pleasure filling her chest. “You’re beautiful when you
laugh.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, cowboy,” she
countered.

Shaking his head, he settled himself on a
boulder. “No cowboy here. I was never much for the roping,
wrangling life. I prefer cars to cows.”

“Surely you’ve been on a horse?” She sat on
the boulder next to him. The rock sloped slightly, and she slipped.
He put arm around her waist, letting his hand slide under her butt
cheek to hold her firmly in place. A flush of embarrassment filled
her cheeks at the intimate touch, but she didn’t tell him to let
her go.

“Oh yeah, many times, but it was never in my
blood. For some guys, it’s like breathing, but for me, it was just
something we did occasionally to beat the boredom. There wasn’t
much for kids to do in Stone River.”

“I think it sounds fabulous. I grew up in
the suburbs, so we had to worry about getting hit by a car or
carried off by a stranger. My mom didn’t let me ride my bike around
the block until I was thirteen, and then it was just around the
block.”

Jeremy’s grip was secure, and she could feel
the imprint of each of his fingers against her backside. It was
making her insides jittery and her panties wet. “I don’t mind
living in town so much, but only because I can escape out here when
I feel claustrophobic.”

“Did you grow up in town?”

He nodded, “Yep. When our parents died, Si
and I inherited the house. We have an aunt and uncle who live in
town, but they have their own property. I had just started my
business, and Si was preparing to go overseas, so it seemed like a
smart idea to hang on to it and just live there. He came back and
moved back in, and it felt like that’s what was meant to be. Some
days I come downstairs expecting to hear my mama singing in the
kitchen while she bakes banana nut bread.”

“I can’t imagine what a mess I’ll be whenI
lose my parents. They’ve been the only constant in my life for
twenty-four years,” she said.

“You’re lucky,” he murmured, his hot breath
brushing over her ear.

She looked up at him and smiled, “Yes, I
am.”

They stared into each other’s eyes, both
searching for something and neither sure exactly what. After
several moments of the building sexual tension, she whispered,
“Jeremy?”

“Yes sugar?’

“Kiss me.”

Once again that brilliant smile flickered
over his face, and his eyes flashed before he dropped his lips to
hers and sealed their fate. She knew the moment she tasted him that
there would be no easy way to give up either man. They were like
fire and ice, both deadly, yet tantalizing in moderation. She
craved Silas’s protective dominance almost as much as she wanted
Jeremy’s fun-loving flirtations. But could she really make a ménage
work?

He pulled back and nipped her lip. “Stop
thinking, Sarah. Let yourself enjoy the moment without worrying
about tomorrow.”

Accepting that instruction was both the
easiest and hardest thing she’d ever done. Instead of arguing, she
forced herself to let go and just be in the moment. His body was
all hard muscle under her hands, and in the warm, balmy night air
she felt like she was going to burn up with his touch.

Squirming out of his grip, she stood in
front of him, pressing forward between his knees and wrapping her
arms around his neck before seeking his lips again. For his part,
he seemed content to let her lead, and she enjoyed the sweet
caresses on her ass almost as much as the stinging scrape of his
teeth over her bottom lip.

“You taste delicious,” he growled, his lips
moving across her jaw and down her throat to her collarbone where
he suckled on a particularly sensitive spot.

“You feel delicious,” she agreed.

They touched and teased each other over
their clothes, never venturing further, and before long, she was
boiling up from the inside out. “Jeremy, please?”

“Please what, sugar?”

“I—” She froze. Was she really about to ask
him to make love to her? Just a few nights ago, she’d been in bed
with his brother. Did he even know? “Wait. Okay, um, just a
minute.” Backing up a few yards, she gasped for breath. The air
helped to clear away the lust fogging her brain, and she turned
back to face him. “We need to clear something up before this goes
any further.”

He smirked at her and propped his chin on
his hand over his knee. “What’s that?”

“The other night when Silas was at my
apartment…” She swallowed and glanced away from his penetrating
gaze trying to find the right words.

After a moment, Jeremy gave a big sigh, “If
you’re feeling guilty because you kissed Silas, don’t.”

Shocked, she jerked her head up to stare at
him. “What?”

“Si told me about the other night. I cleared
it with him before I even asked you out, sugar. He wants this.
We
want this.” He stood and moved in close to her, pulling
her in. “But, do
you
want this?”

“I’m not sure what
this
is,” she
admitted.

“Us. Together. All three of us. A ménage
relationship.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know how that
kind of thing works. I mean, your friends were the first people
I’ve ever met who were into…this kinda thing.”

“But are you willing to try?”

Stepping out of his arms, she moved to stare
down at the rippling river below. Her brain was a muddled mess and
not just because she was craving his touch so badly, either. She
had so many questions about what they wanted and what they expected
from her she didn’t know where to start.

He squeezed her shoulders from behind and
rested his chin on her head. “Sarah it’s okay to say no. We’ll
still be friends.”

“I don’t want to say no, but I’m not sure I
can say yes, either. I don’t date, Jeremy. I keep to myself.
Especially since… well… since I got back from Afghanistan. The guys
in the military see me as damaged, and the civilians are
intimidated by my “wounded warrior” status. I’m not sure how to be
a girlfriend anymore, and to be honest, I wasn’t very good at it
before…everything.”