BrokenHearted (10 page)

Maxwell interrupts my thoughts just as I thought he would. Frankly, I was shocked he waited until we got about a mile from her house.

“Sadie was right about her little house, wasn’t she?” he asks, and I reply with a yes in agreement. I had noticed the difference immediately that she is nothing like Leah. She is truly happy with what she has and is not searching for a meal ticket or an escape route in the least. 

“I told y’all,” Sadie says.

“It actually isn’t so bad. Small but charming,” I respond.

“It’s Ry to the T. You will never hear her complain about anything … always on the North Pole happy with what she has.”

“Has she always been that way?” I ask.

“She has always had a positive attitude, but when Jake did what he did to her, that changed her for the good. Wish I had a little of her spirit in my veins,” Sadie explains sincerely.

“I saw the look she gave him, and of course, the slap … Does she still love him?”

“Ahhhh, that would be a hell no.”

“And …” I prompt, but she doesn’t answer, still debating whether it was information she should be sharing.

Maxwell is encouraging. “Clearly, they like each other … even if they say they don’t. Feels a little like high school, doesn’t it?” He eyes me in the backseat and looks back at Sadie.

“So I like her? That doesn’t mean anything.” I smirk.

“It sure as shit does. I haven’t seen you interested like this in a woman since—”

“Can you just stop bringing up old times? It isn’t helping that you say this all the time,” I angrily say.

“Don’t get your panties in a wad, man. Shit,” Maxwell says.

“Sadie, please … I need to know …”

“Jake and Ryann met in college. She was going to go to school to be a vet. Of course, it was a long shot, but she wasn’t afraid of any challenge. She had just started her semester at UT when she met him. He swept her off her feet and then tore her down in a matter of months. He basically crushed her spirit in every way possible. And all along the way, he cheated on her. Having his cake and eating it too. Quite literally. Anyway, she finally caught on and threw his shit out of her trailer in the back of his truck when he came home one night. From what she said, she was angry, throwing what crap was left in her trailer straight into the truck, and then picking up his stuff off her lawn and throwing it at him. He started to bring his stuff back up to the trailer saying that this was just as much his, and he wasn’t leaving. And it wasn’t. But he tried to take and control everything she had. Anyway, she was able to successfully get him out of her life. She has sworn men off for years and has built her way up the ladder in her eyes. She is happy with her life and herself now.”

“So what was the story with the desserts? Not that I mind. My mom used to say a way to a man’s heart is his stomach.”

Maxwell snorted. “A way to man’s heart is his dick.”

“Shut up, Max.” Sadie chuckles.

“She is a damn good baker,” she answers.

“He told her she was fat. And she wasn’t. He just took all of her insecurities and stomped on them and smiled as he did it. The things he said to her are things that take a very long time to get over. But she did with the exception of the whole baking thing. Half the time, she doesn’t even eat what she bakes but brings it to the bar or to her mother at the hotel to hand out. It is just her way of working through the words that cut. Jake was the only guy who she had really let in and always cautious of the male population since she grew up fatherless. She dated off and on in high school but nothing serious. Ryann had her eye on the goal, which was college. And then she met him.”

“So does she still want to be a vet? And what is stopping her?”

“Not anymore. She is satisfied with what her life is. She loves it. She thinks that the work she does at the stables is just as important, nurturing those monster animals. I myself don’t care for horses.”  She pauses and smiles. “Ry is one of a kind and my very best friend. I have never met anyone else like her. She is this big shining light that can make anyone stop and be thankful.”

“Yeah, even when they don’t wanna be.”

“Exactly,” Sadie agrees.

Maxwell questions, “I don’t want to piss in your Cheerios, man, but what happened to this broken, feel-sorry-for-me mantra? Has this changed?”

“No,” I answer rapidly. “And I told Ryann that I liked her, but I wouldn’t be more than her friend.”

“Does she know why?” Maxwell asks as if Sadie wasn’t in the truck.

“Does she need to?”

Sadie’s voice gets loud. “If you seriously are asking that, then I need to slap you just like she did Jake tonight. Of course, she needs to know.”

“We are just now talking. Why does she need to …?”

“Cause that is Ryann. I just finished telling you that she is special. Not special like people say all the time. She really is. And for all that is mighty, if you fuck her over, the last thing you will have to worry about is Maxwell. I will cut your ass up and serve you on a platter.”

“Damn, Sadie. Guard dog?” I respond, knowing she truly was not kidding. “Can we just see how things go? It might not amount to anything.”

“You really turned me on getting all worked up like that, baby,” Maxwell smartasses.

“Shut up, dumbass. And besides, how do you know she wouldn’t hurt me?” I comment and question at the same time.

“That shows how little you know about Ryann. She hasn’t let any guy in, yet she brought you to her house, and she kissed you?! Does she look like the type of girl who lets that happen? And second, she has never hurt a person in her life …”

“I get it, all right,” I respond. And I did but how can I promise her something more when I don’t think I am capable of it. How do you love someone when you don’t have a heart? But then, could I keep my promise and guarantee nothing more than friendship?

Throughout the years, I have proven to myself not loving is the easiest and safest way to go, but that isn’t always how it works out. And Ryann Payne was slowly proving that. The feeling in my chest was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a very long time. It startled me, and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a beat.

One week later

Ryann

Living in the Austin area has always been where I wanted to be. The thought had never crossed my mind to leave for many reasons. One reason was the outside way of life. I loved to get out and run around the city and take in the sites. Austin had many outdoor treasures with Town Lake being one of them.

It’s been a while since Sadie and I met at Town Lake. I try to go a couple of times a week and run, but lately, that hasn’t happened. Sadie lives right off it, but our schedules don’t frequently match up. Sadie prefers to be on the water and I on the land.

I had been putting in more time with Jackie since the James’ needed more help. Their other hired hands were doing all they could around the land, but there wasn’t enough time.

Today, finally, we were able to make it work, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I loved to be outdoors and breathe in the air. You know, be one with your surroundings. I put in my earbuds, sing along, and take off, getting lost in my thoughts.  I may or may not sing along, pretending to know the words, which drives Sadie crazy. She says I get looks, but I have never noticed or cared. You can’t rain on my parade.

She agreed to run three miles with me if I agreed to paddleboard with her. She had two but rarely used them. This fitness fad grew in our area, and she jumped right on it. I had been with her a few times but preferred to be on land just as it usually was with us. She was the exact opposite. She could get out there without being an expert and do yoga and outrace me without any effort. Her condo was right off the water, so it was easy for us to carry them down to the water. I don’t know how she liked city living, but unlike myself, she loved it. She liked to be able to walk to everything and especially the nightlife. Another pro was her office was less than ten minutes away. She was ever the “businesswoman” and damn good at it. She had been selling real estate in the Austin and surrounding areas and making a great living with it. She was able to close the deals with little effort.

It took very little time for us to get our run in, and we decided to hit the water. I had brought my bikini top but covered my bikini bottoms with my workout shorts. I did not intend to get wet, but I wanted to get some sun on my shoulders.

Just like last time, I got right up, and we moved down the lake in a steady rhythm talking back and forth about the little things in life. Spans of complete silence exist while of each of us takes in our surroundings.

“I’m just going to put this out there, and hopefully, you won’t get mad.”

Oh, good God. I wait to hear what she is going to say. I had known Sadie long enough to know the chances of me getting pissed were high. Her mouth was a motor, and she rarely used the common sense of what should and should not be shared and said.

Truth be told, that was some of the reason why I loved her. I too spoke my mind.

“The other night when we left your home, Trevor asked about why you were the way you were—the story with douchebag himself and the dessert issue.”

“Please tell me you didn’t tell him everything.”

“I had to. And honestly, after I saw y’all kiss, I figured he needed to know. Look, no one is proud of their past. It is what it is, and we can’t do anything to change it. And aren’t you the one who told me that the past is what makes us who we are and we should be proud of it? That we made it through it?”

“I believe I did speak those words.” Damn it.

“Yes, you did.”

“And what did he say? I hope he didn’t pity me. You know how I feel about pity.”

“He actually seemed intrigued. Like he was more infatuated with you.”

“Is that so?”

“But I also should tell you—”

“God forbid. Seriously? What in the hell did you not talk about? Did you tell him my birth weight?”

“Umm … I kind of threatened him.”

I laugh.  “And how did you do that?”

“I told him I would cut him up and serve him.” She smiles, and I return one.

“Love you, girl.” I go to fist bump her, thanking her, and forgot what I was doing. The paddleboard shook from left to right, and no matter how hard I tried to balance, I wasn’t stopping it from flipping over. I landed in the water, and to my surprise, I welcomed it.

“You crazy ass lady. You have to keep focused on balance. How many times have we talked about this?? It is all about balance.”

I dip my head back into the water and then move closer to her board before jumping back on mine, wiggling it and trying to get her to tumble over as well to no avail. Damn her.

“Get back on so we can head over to under the bridge. Let’s go see what the new graffiti is this time. Last time, it was of Matthew McConaughey. Hopefully, it is still there.”

“All right, all right, all right,” I say in my most masculine voice, and we both laugh.

“Seriously, Sadie. Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it. I love you. Do I need to tell you again how much I love you?”

“I know you do. But sometimes, it is nice to hear it by you threatening murder. I mean that is true love, wouldn’t you say?” I ask.

“And you are the only one I would do it for.”

“I know it, and I would do the same for you.”

“Ryann, I know you care wholeheartedly, and that is one of the things I love about you, but also one of the things that gets you hurts. Instead of jumping in headfirst, just see where it goes with Trevor. If it leads somewhere, it does, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. It is his loss, not yours.”

“Easier said than done. And yes, I know I care too much. But I haven’t for a long time. And I don’t feel bad for that.”

“And you shouldn’t,” Sadie confirms.

She knew how to protect herself from getting hurt. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the message as quick.

Trevor

Left, right, left, right
is what I focus on as my feet hit the gravel of the trail around Town Lake. This was the first time I was able to go since I had made it back to Austin and couldn’t wait to hit the trail.  We got in five miles and probably would have done more had Maxwell actually ran instead of eyeing the women and yapping the entire time. Note to self—do not run with him!

We had just stopped, allowing us to catch our breath. Sweat dripped down our faces and body as a testament to our workout and the heat.

“Man, let’s go by Sadie’s real quick. She lives just down here.” He points at a high rise ahead.

“She lives off Town Lake?”

“Yeah, she is real into city living—the yoga, the deli, the walking everywhere, you name it. She even owns paddleboards.”

“That’s cool.” Not really sure why they call them paddleboards. They are the exact damn same thing as surfboards.

“Her place is nice. It makes mine look like an efficiency.”

“I doubt that.”

“She is on a totally different level.” We walk up to the high rise, and he stops. It is right off the water. He smiles as if he had something to do with it.

“Damn, nice digs.” I smirk.

“Advantage of dating a successful, active woman. She is even better in bed than she is in business. And her ass—”

“Shh.” I hold up my finger to my mouth to shush him as I see Sadie and Ryann come walking up holding paddleboards.

He bites on his knuckle to shut himself up and gets a glance of his woman soaking wet and laughing. I could see his drool admiring them.

And I mean they are both SOAKING wet in their little bikinis. Ryann still wore a pair of shorts. These two women are polar opposite in every meaning of the word. Ryann, her long blond hair hung freely looking like a Californiagirl. She had the perfect amount of breast
s—
more than a handful is wasteful—and long tan legs that I would love to have wrapped …

I interrupt my thoughts to listen to their conversation.

“Let me tell you … just when he leaned up against me to kiss me, I could feel—”

“Good God, Ryann, it could be the size of a lipstick tube, and you wouldn’t care since it has been so long. I’m shocked you even remember where it was located.”

“That is not true. Just because I am not a hussy doesn’t mean—”

“I am not a hussy, thank you. In fact, my game has gone way down since Maxwell.”

I look over, and Max smiles. Fuck wad. We watch as Ryann removes her shorts, and my eyes move from her chest down her legs to her well-toned, round ass. Max sees me and agrees. I then get pissed and a frisson of jealousy that he witnessed the same thing.

We wait until the girls are just about to enter the building before we sneak up behind them and scare them.

“Good God! You two scared the living shit of me!” Ryann jumps.

“What are y’all doing here?” Sadie asks smiling.

“Came to see my woman,” Maxwell says kissing her. “So your game is down, huh?”

“You eavesdropper!” she screeches.

Ryann’s face seemed to look worried. She didn’t look as happy to see that we had heard the conversation. I smile at her hopefully easing some of her concern. Maybe I need to ease some of her ache. Lord knows I have one myself. Sex isn’t love. I know that for a fact.

We follow them in the large building through the doorman where Sadie left the paddleboards asking him to store them until next time. He obliged and was happy to do it, also eyeing her body.

We rode in the elevator in silence for a brief second to Sadie’s floor observing each other. Some of us making it clear, some not so much.

As we enter Sadie’s place, I remind myself what I needed far more than … or at least I’ll tell myself that.

“Could we get some water?” I was exhausted from the run, or maybe it was from drooling over Ryann. Same difference.

“Sure,” Ryann responds knowing her way around the condo.

She seems to be checking me out as much I was checking her out. I take off my shirt while she watches me to see if she continues to look interested. Yeah, it was an evil move, but I love it. And yes, she does.

Her face turns pink, and she smiles biting her bottom lip. I burn that look into my memory and think of how beautiful she will look when I take her. If I let it get to that point, that is, and that was a big if. Not for lack of my body wanting her, that is for damn sure.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go find something to change into,” she announces.

“You want help?” I ask, half playing, half serious not fully aware of my comment. She knew I liked her … I made that obvious at her place, but I hadn’t been so outright flirty with her.

She turns and looks at me with a total look of shock and confusion.

Maxwell interrupts his groping of Sadie.  “You know what they say after a really good workout? It really gets the endorphins up and makes you horny? You want to let me take advantage of you?”

“I told Ry I would spend time with her today, asshat, which, if you remember, I told you last night,” Sadie answers.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we disappear for fifteen minutes—”

I hear Sadie trying to resist.

“Wait a min—” And the bedroom door closes.

I walk over to her slyly, feeling frisky and wanting to play. Hopefully, she is up for a little fun. What is it about her that brings out this living feeling in me? I want to live when I am around her, despite the regret that follows when I am alone. Was it a flirt, just feeling of being comfortable around her?

I stand behind her and lean in to her neck. I breathe on her neck lightly, and I can see her shivering. Even sweaty and wet from the water, I could still smell the scent that was Ryann.

She is a good four inches shorter than I am, and the perfect height for me to take advantage of her.

“Are you cold?”  I ask her.

“A little. I was hoping to get out of these wet clothes.”

I don’t say anything. Instead, I just untie her top from around her neck at the exact proximity of where I was breathing on her. I hold the parts together not releasing them. I want to rub my tongue right along her artery on her neck.

I think about it for half a second and then do it. And she tastes exactly how I imagined … That isn’t true; she tastes better.

I hold the top strings, not letting them fall while listening to her soft moan from pleasure.

“Here are your strings.” And being the gentleman I am, I handed them to her. My fingers slid through hers. She held them for a second and then dropped them.

That was all my control, for the bad voice to speak up, and I wouldn’t resist it. I turn her around so not only could I feel her, but I also wanted to see her, to feel her against my chest.

I take her mouth and kiss her without worrying about breaking any boundaries or any regrets I would have. And she kisses me back.

I can feel myself rising, and she notices as well. She starts to move against me, taking it all in.

She is reeling me in, and I was taking the bait willingly.

I feared I had forgotten how to connect a good feeling. Hell, who am I lying to … an amazing feeling to my brain. But no … it was there. Dying to get out quite literally. Ryann … Ryann … Ryann …