Brooklyn & Beale (26 page)

Days passed. Locked away in his old room, the walls finally crumbled. Consumed with relief, Reid succumbed to the riptide of inspiration. He let it suck him under and sweep him away from the world around him. He made excuse after excuse to avoid Jess, never once considering the implications of his actions. He only interacted with his parents and Jess when forced to do so. There was only one person he sought out. Only one person whose silence he didn’t want, yet received time and time again. With a sigh, he typed out a new message and held his breath as he pressed send.

I watched Star Wars today. Any Padawan would’ve listened to Yoda if he’d looked like you.

Five minutes turned to ten then twenty as Reid stared at his phone. Frustrated and weighted with unease, he tossed his phone on the table just as it vibrated. His breath quickened as he snatched it off the table and unlocked the screen. A shaky smile turned up his lips as he read her response.

I have 2 inches of mud and a slimy green substance covering every part of my body. I think I actually *am* Yoda right now.

He was still on edge, but the relief that came from her response was undeniable.

So you haven’t been ignoring me after all? You just decided to become a swamp creature?

Several minutes passed before she responded. Each second felt like forever.

I needed time to sort things out.

Reid propped his elbow on his thighs and dropped his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed his mind not to jump to conclusions. His fingers shook as he typed out a reply.

Is everything okay now?

Yeah. I’ll see you in LA.

Reid fell against the back of the chair and released a heavy breath. Tossing his phone on the desk, he grabbed his notebook. He wasn’t sure why, but the confirmation she would be in LA didn’t make him feel as good as he’d hoped. Something about the tone of her text felt off, distant. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Maybe he was losing his damn mind. Either option was possible. With pen in hand, he moved to his bed and stretched across the mattress. He hesitated a moment before flipping to the page of lyrics he’d written his last night in Devon. Lyrics he couldn’t bring himself to erase.

That girl from Brooklyn stole my heart,

I should have seen it from the start.

I love the way she makes me feel,

You won’t find me singing the blues on Beale.

Over and over, the lyrics looped in his mind. He thought about the first time they met, how she’d gaped at him before putting on her game face and showing him why Brian had so much faith in her. He’d known then that Chloe had the potential to complicate his life, but never in a million years would he have guessed it would be like this. No, this mess, it was all on him.

Suddenly exhausted, he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, no longer surprised by the purple hue of his dreams. He woke some time later to the sound of his door clicking shut. He blinked, groggy and confused. He thought he had imagined it until he heard hushed voices in the hall.

”Are you all right?” Reid’s mother asked, her voice laced with concern. “You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine,” Jess answered, her voice shaking. “Has anyone come to see him?”

“No,” his mother whispered. “No one has come by, and he hasn’t left. Other than when he’s hungry, he stays locked up in his room. I didn’t think anything of it. He used to do it all the time when he’d write his music.”

There was a long pause before Jess let out a weary sigh. “That’s just it. He hasn’t written anything in over a year. Not anything he’s told me about, anyway. I don’t know if he has anything left.”

“Oh, honey,” Reid’s mother soothed. “I don’t think that’s true. Every time I’ve checked on him, he’s been writing in some notebook. Did you see it? I’m sure it’s filled with beautiful words.”

Reid’s heart slammed inside his chest. His pulse thundered in his ears and his skin flushed hot. He sat up quickly, the notebook across his chest falling to the floor. Wide-eyed, he looked from the door to the notebook, a sinking feeling that she’d seen the pages setting in.

“Yeah. I saw it. I’m just not sure what I saw were lyrics.” When Jess’s voice broke, Reid jumped from the bed and tripped his way to the door. He tried to control his emotions, but when he ripped the door open, the force causing it to bang against the wall, he knew he’d failed.

Jess and his mom jumped from the sound, their eyes wide as he appeared next to them. “Hey, Jess. I thought I heard you.” He stepped next to her and slid his arm around her waist, placing a soft kiss on her cheek before turning to his mom. “What are you two up to?”

His mom rolled her eyes, a small, knowing smile on her lips. “Talking about you, of course. Now, don’t you think it’s about time you come out of that room and spend some time with Jess before you leave again?”

Before Reid could answer, Jess spoke. “I don’t want to bother him if he’s working.”

Reid gripped her a little tighter, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “I’m not working on anything. Let me grab my stuff and we can go.”

Jess’s brows dented as she searched his face. He felt exposed. Like she could see straight through him. Like she could see all the secrets he was trying so hard to mask. “Your stuff?”

Reid nodded and stepped back, keeping his eyes locked with hers. “Yeah. I thought I could crash with you until I have to go back. I’m sure Mom and Dad are ready to have the place to themselves again.”

“Nonsense,” his mother cut in before stepping forward and giving him a hug. “I’ve loved having you here, but you should spend some time with Jess. We’ll see each other again soon.”

Reid smiled. “Of course.” Looking at Jess, he shuffled his feet and cleared his throat. “So what do you say?”

Jess’s eyes shimmered and her smile was strained as she fought to control the emotions Reid could see swimming in her gaze. “Really?” she asked, small and unsure.

“Jess,” he whispered, pulling her against his chest. With his eyes pinched shut and his mouth pressed to her ear, he exhaled. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re upset. Let’s get out of here, okay?”

Jess pressed her forehead against his shoulder and clutched his shirt. “Okay.”

After saying their good-byes, Reid and Jess drove toward the city. “So what do you want to do?”

Reid drummed his fingers over the tops of his thighs and hummed. “Let’s go to Rum Boogie.”

Jess’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened. “You want to go to Beale? What on earth for? Once people recognize you, it’ll be a nightmare.”

Reid pulled out his phone. “I’ll call ahead. We’ll sneak in the back, say hi to a few people, have a drink, and leave before anyone is the wiser. What do you say? It’ll be fun.”

“If you say so,” Jess mumbled, eyeing him warily as she drove toward Beale.

The truth was, Reid didn’t want to go to Beale. He
needed
to go. He met Jess in that bar. They’d fallen in love there. It was filled with the best kind of memories. He hoped being there with her after all this time could ignite the fire that had faded to smoking embers. He had to give them a chance. For himself and for Jess. She deserved at least that much.

Reid reached across the car and placed his hand on Jess’s thigh. “Maybe tomorrow we can go out to the farm? You can show me the colt you delivered. We could even go riding.” Reid laughed. “God, I haven’t been on a horse in years. I’ll probably fall off and break my neck.”

Jess giggled and flashed him a bright smile, her eyes sparkling. The sight caused his chest to ache. Her eyes had always been his favorite feature. It hurt to admit that when he looked into their deep blue depths now, it only made him miss Chloe that much more.

True to his word, Reid spent the next several days focused on trying to find what he’d lost with Jess. From horseback riding to lounging on the dock by the river, they spent all their time together. In the evenings, they would cook dinner before curling up on the couch and watching movies. It was exactly how it used to be before he was signed. It was nothing like what he wanted now.

Try as he might, not a day went by that he didn’t think of Chloe. The silence was deafening. He hadn’t heard from her since the last day at his parents’. He itched to hear her voice, to call to see how she was, but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. As it was, his guilt was crushing. With a sigh, he washed his hands and dug through his bag for a change of clothes. The corner of his notebook caught on his T-shirt. The sight of it made him want to slam his head against the mirror. He was antsy. He felt caged in the open space. He wanted noisy streets and neon lights. He wanted the feel of the warm ocean breeze against his face. He wanted to be home.

Reid stood motionless as the realization sunk in that Memphis was no longer home. Sure, he loved it. Loved the vibe and the people, but it wasn’t home. Not anymore. Not for a long time. When his phone rang, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Darting from the bathroom, he grabbed it off the nightstand, startling Jess as she walked into the room.

“Hello?”

“Reid, sorry I haven’t called before now, but I wanted to check to see if you were doing okay.”

Reid sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s fine. I’m good, Tom.” He looked at Jess and shrugged, his face apologetic as he mouthed he would only be a minute. With a nod, Jess stepped out of the room and pulled the door shut.

“You staying out of trouble?” The slight edge in Tom’s voice caused shame to creep up on Reid again.

“I am. I promise. I’m going crazy being here, but not because of that.”

“What do you mean?” Tom asked, surprise clear in his voice. “Did something happen?”

Reid groaned and paced the length of the room. “No. Nothing happened. It’s just . . . it doesn’t feel like it used to. It’s making me stir-crazy.”

Tom chuckled. “Not loving the country life anymore?”

“Memphis isn’t the sticks,” Reid deadpanned.

“Where you lived certainly is. Actually, I might be able to help you out with that. It’s the other reason I’m calling.”

“You mean it’s the main reason, but you weren’t going to bring it up until you had a chance to gauge my mood?” Reid retorted, smirking

Tom cleared his throat. “Whatever. I got a call from MTV today. They wanted to know if you’d be interested in performing a mashup with Jack Green.”

Reid smiled as excitement surged through him. “Hell yes, I would.”

“I thought you might say that. The catch is, he has other obligations during rehearsals for the show, so you’d need to come back to LA early.”

“Book my flight,” Reid answered without hesitation. “I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Tom blurted. “You don’t need to come back that soon. You can wait two or three more days.”

Reid shook his head, his eyes darting toward the door before he spoke, his words hushed. “Tomorrow, Tom. Please.”

A beat of silence passed before Tom spoke. “Okay. I don’t know what kind of flights they’ll have booking something this late, but keep your phone handy. It might take a while, but I’ll text you the details as soon as I have something.”

“Thanks,” Reid exhaled, his shoulders relaxing.

“Oh, and Reid? We’re going to talk about all the shit that’s happened recently when you get back. Just giving you fair warning.”

Reid swallowed. “Okay. See you soon.”

Dropping the phone on the bed, the excitement of going back to LA drained from his body. Jess was going to be upset that he was leaving so soon. Weary, he walked out of the bedroom to break the news. However, her reaction surprised him. She was quiet, distant, but not angry. She just looked sad. It was so much worse than her anger.

Jess traced patterns over his forearm as they lay in bed later that night. He tried to talk to her, but her one-word answers and quiet demeanor eventually led to both their silence. “We’ll see each other again soon,” he tried again, his voice reassuring.

“Why don’t you ever say you love me?” she asked softly. Her question caused Reid’s brows to dip in confusion.

“What are you talking about? I say it all the time.”

Jess pulled in a deep breath. “No. You don’t. I always say I love you, and you always respond with ‘you too.’”

Reid licked his lips and worked to keep his breathing normal. “That’s what I’ve always done. For as long as I can remember.”

“I know,” she admitted. “It’s just sometimes I’d like to hear you say it.”

Reid pinched his eyes shut and pressed his lips to her temple. “You know how I feel about you.”

“Do I?”

“Jess,” Reid implored, his throat tight.

With a huff, Jess turned to her side and pulled the covers tight around her shoulder. “Get some sleep. You have to get up early. I’m fine. We’re fine. It’s just been a long day.”

Reid reached across the bed and pulled Jess against his side. “Don’t go to bed mad at me. Please.”

Jess relaxed her stiff posture and sighed. “I love you.”

“You too,” he whispered, hating himself for not being able to say the words. It was true when they’d been together before he always said the same phrase. Now, however, his inability to say it was for an entirely different reason. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Jess. He did. She was one of the most important people in his life. It was how he loved her that had changed.