Brotherhood 02 - Broken Promise (6 page)

Austin looked down at the woman in his arms and his heart began a steady pounding. What was there about her that affected him like she did? She was beautiful, but he’d been with hundreds of beautiful women and none of them made his heart race and his head spin like she did. None of them made him want to gather her close and make sure nothing bad ever happened to her.

He should put her down, but he couldn’t. Her wholesome demeanor was like a soothing balm that contained the power to heal him. The innocent expression on her face reminded him of the females he’d associated with before he’d gone to war. Before he’d made decisions that had cost men their lives.

He gently lowered her to the bed and drew the covers over her. He watched the steady rise and fall of her breasts, unable to pull his gaze away from her. Even though she’d been an actress on stage, she didn’t have the look of any actress he’d ever known. There was nothing worldly in her eyes or in her voice. There was an innocence about her that belied what Penderly told him about her.

If he had been fortunate enough to have met her before he and Gabe had left for the Crimea, he liked to imagine things might have been different. He liked to think perhaps he and Collette Flemming might have become friends, then lovers, then…

He sank into the chair beside the bed and rested his forearms on his knees. He was a fool to dream such a foolish thought. Even more foolish to entertain thoughts about Lady Fledgemont. He’d been hired to find her and take her back to London where Lord and Lady Penderly could take care of her. The sooner he put all other thoughts out of his head, the better off he’d be.

The minutes stretched to an hour, then more. Before the room took on a chill, he added more wood to the grate, then sat back and watched the fire blaze.

Austin didn’t know how long he’d stared at the flickering flames while his mind evaluated Lady Fledgemont’s accusations, but his shoulders ached when he shifted in his chair. Silence had replaced the sounds of laughter and ribaldry from below and he breathed a sigh of relief. He was afraid the noise that carried upward from the taproom would wake the baby and he’d want to be fed.

Heaven help him. Austin didn’t have the vaguest idea what he’d do if that happened.

Thankfully, there was a knock, and when he answered the door, the innkeeper’s wife and a young serving girl stood in the hallway. “Has the poor lass gone to sleep, then?” the older woman asked.

“Yes.” He stepped back. “Come in.”

The innkeeper’s wife entered with one of the glass jars he’d seen Lady Fledgemont use to feed the babe in London. The young girl followed, carrying a tray of delicious-smelling food.

“Put the tray on that table, Jenny, then run off to bed.”

The young girl placed the tray on the small bedside table, then rushed from the room.

“Thank you, Mrs. …

“Pollock. Maudie Pollock. That was my youngest—Jenny.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Pollock. For everything.”

“Call me Maudie. Everybody does.” She glanced at the tray on the table. “I brought enough food for the both of you, so you might as well eat it while it’s hot. If I’m any judge of people, the food will be ice cold before the lady wakes.”

Austin looked at the bed where Lady Fledgemont slept and knew Mrs. Pollock was right. “She’s exhausted,” he said, more to himself than the innkeeper’s wife.

“I could see that when she arrived.” She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “And so are you. You must have gone without sleep as long as the lady.”

“But I didn’t have an infant to care for,” he said, wondering how on earth Lady Fledgemont had managed.

“I prayed someone would come after her. Mr. Pollock says you were a Captain in the war. That you’re her family?”

He thought how to answer her, then realized the truth was his only option. “No, but I was sent by her family.”

“Oh, good. She needs family. Especially now.” She gave him a motherly look. “Glad I am that you’re here.” Her smile broadened. “Is there anything else you need before I turn in for the night?”

“No, you’ve been more than kind. Thank you.”

“No trouble, sir.” She handed him a container wrapped in warm cloths. “Here’s the baby’s milk. Feed him when he wakes. He should fall back to sleep once he’s full.” She walked to the door. “I’ll be back shortly after sunup with more milk and some dry nappies. Just let the lady sleep. She needs her rest.”

Austin thanked Mrs. Pollock again, then handed her enough money to cover anything they might need for as long as they were here. She wasn’t gone long before Jonathan stirred in his basket.

Austin stared at the squirming baby, knowing that he had no choice but to pick him up. The only babe he’d ever held before was his niece, Rachel, the day before Gabe and Liddy took her to their country manor estate, Southerby. But he hadn’t had to pick her up. And she’d been wrapped in so many blankets that holding her was like carrying his stiff army bedroll.

This was different. There was just a single cover over little Jonathan, not nearly enough so Austin felt safe lifting him in the air.

He hunched down beside the cradle and stared at the infant. He was fussing in earnest now, and if Austin didn’t do something soon he’d wake up his mother, as well as everyone in the inn.

Austin reached out, then stopped. “Are you ready for this, Johnny?”

The baby kicked his feet, waved his hands, and made some indistinguishable sound. Austin took that as a good sign. He placed his hands on either side of the baby’s waist and prepared to lift him from the blanket. He was sure this was how he’d seen Lady Fledgemont pick him up before.

He started to lift the babe then quickly lowered him. Damn. His middle came up but his head and feet stayed down. If he continued lifting he’d snap the babe’s back like a twig.

“I guess that’s not how she did it, huh?”

The baby squirmed beneath the cover and made more noise. Maybe it was Austin’s imagination, but little Johnny sounded angry.

“Don’t get upset, fellow, I’ll get this figured out in a minute.”

Austin studied the babe. Picking up something that size shouldn’t be that difficult. He’d watched his brother-in-law, Gabe, pick up his daughter and he hadn’t had any difficulty. Maybe if he—

Just then, the babe let out a loud holler and Austin knew he didn’t have a choice. He’d have to lift him out of the basket or he’d wake up Lady Fledgemont, and he couldn’t let that happen. The lady was dead on her feet.

The baby let out another cry and without thinking, Austin grabbed the babe beneath his outstretched arms and lifted him along with all the covers. Austin ignored the damp blankets beneath the baby’s bum and carried the fussing infant to the chair. The minute he sat, he reached for the bottle Mrs. Pollock had warmed, and stuck it in the baby’s mouth. The speed in which little Jonathan clamped his mouth around the teat made Austin laugh. He relaxed in the chair and let the baby drink.

Holding an infant so small and innocent caused an odd sensation to settle inside Austin’s chest. Little Jonathan relaxed in his arms as if he had complete trust in the person caring for him. As if he wasn’t aware that the world was a very ugly and terrifying place.

As he watched the baby eat, a blanket of peace washed over him. He was startled by the calming sensation that spread through him. He didn’t know how it was possible, but the babe in his arms represented everything in life that was clean and good. But even more consoling, the babe was a gift he could give to Lord and Lady Penderly. This tiny child provided him with the chance to make whole the family he’d torn apart. The tiny babe made it possible for Austin to wash himself clean of the death and destruction he’d lived with longer than he wanted to remember.

He watched in awe as the infant happily waved his arms and kicked his feet. The need to protect a babe so young and helpless tugged at his heart. He didn’t doubt that someone had tried to harm the babe. But he knew that Penderly wasn’t involved in the attempt. There was someone else who wanted the babe dead. And he couldn’t hand Jonathan over until he knew who that was—and eliminated him.

In the silence that came with darkness, Austin vowed that
nothing
would threaten the child. When he discovered who wanted to hurt the babe, he’d take care of the threat. Then he’d return Jonathan to Lord Penderly so the child could grow up with the advantages that were due him. He owed it to Lord and Lady Penderly. He owed them a son to replace the one he’d killed.

His gaze drifted to where Lady Fledgemont slept. She was buried deep between the covers, with wisps of her auburn hair loose from their pins. Heavy curls spread out across the pillow, framing her delicate features in ethereal shadows. Knowing she would hate him when he betrayed her settled inside his chest like an uncomfortable weight.

He lowered his gaze. The babe still drank from the glass bottle, but his eager gulps had slowed a great deal. Hopefully, that meant he was almost full. Austin didn’t know what he’d do if the lad wanted more. There wasn’t any.

The babe ate for a while longer then turned his head and released the bottle. A movement to his right where Lady Fledgemont slept drew his attention. She was waking.

Her eyes opened, slowly at first, then fluttered as if fighting to stay open. She frowned, as if she needed a moment to remember where she was. When she did, her eyes filled with fear and she sat upright in bed.

“Jonathan!” She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and searched the room.

“He’s here,” Austin answered. “He’s safe.”

Her gaze found him, then lowered to the bundle in his arms. Relief flooded her features when she saw him.

She clasped her hands to her flushed cheeks. “I’m sorry. I must have—”

“You lost consciousness.”

She shook her head. “I don’t—”

“You did.” Austin wanted her to realize she was vulnerable. “You fainted because you were exhausted. Because you went without sleep longer than your body could stand. And without food. Your body was telling you it was tired of being pushed so hard.” He wanted her to know she couldn’t manage on her own. But more importantly, he wanted her to realize she could trust him. Wanted her to understand that he could have taken the baby while she slept, but didn’t. “Would you like to go back to sleep or do you want something to eat first?” He cast a glance at a small table that held a tray of food. “Mrs. Pollock brought up some warm milk for Jonathan and a tray for you before she went to bed. If you eat now it might still be warm.”

“I’m not—”

“Yes, you are. Maude said she didn’t think you’d eaten all day.”

“I wasn’t—”

“My guess,” Austin said, interrupting her again, “is that you were probably hungry, but didn’t want to leave this room because you didn’t want to risk being seen.”

Her eyes narrowed. He saw her anger and enjoyed the fact that he could rile her.

She rose from the bed and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. Her gaze focused on him as if he was the target at the end of her rifle barrel and before she fired she wanted to make sure her aim was accurate.

“Are you always so argumentative?”

“Argumentative?” He feigned a look of surprise. “None of my friends or acquaintances has accused me of being so.”

“That’s because I doubt you have any friends. And your acquaintances are undoubtedly afraid to tell you your faults.”

He placed a sad expression on his face. “What a low opinion you have of me, my lady.”

“A well-deserved opinion, I’m sure.”

“I can’t imagine what I’ve done to earn such disparaging remarks.”

She took a step toward him. “Would you like me to explain?”

“By all means, yes. That would be ever so helpful when I meet my next
acquaintance
. But first, perhaps little Jonathan would like to have something dry on his bottom.”

Her gaze darted to the babe in his arms and her face paled. “Oh.” She rushed over and lifted the babe.

Austin watched with fascination as she carried the wet babe across the room and placed him on a blanket spread atop a small table. The second she released him, his arms and legs kicked as if he was a four-legged fish paddling in water.

She removed his wet clothes and covered him with a dry cloth, then tied it shut. She talked to the babe while she worked, smiling, and laughing, and gently blowing noisy kisses against his skin. He laughed with excitement.

Austin didn’t doubt that this was an age-long ritual that all mothers instinctively knew to do because he’d seen Liddy behave the same with little Rachel. There was a special connection mothers developed early on with their babes, a connection that excluded fathers.

A strange feeling settled over him, one he didn’t like to admit to—an emptiness that ached to be filled.

For several long moments he evaluated this strange sensation, then brushed it away as if it were an unwanted piece of lint. What was there about watching her that made him pine for things he’d never considered before? What was there about her that caused him to consider how hollow his life would be without someone to love?

He needed to deliver the woman and her son to the Earl of Penderly, and the sooner the better. He didn’t like the emotions being with them brought to the forefront. He didn’t like imagining what it might be like to have a woman in his life one day. Or children. Not when he knew there never would be. He was entirely too bleak a soul to sustain either.

He rose from the chair and walked to the window. The sun was peeking above the horizon now and there was a stirring of activity outside.

He scanned the area below, looking for anything that seemed out of the ordinary, but there was nothing. Two men wearing ordinary clothes walked into the Spotted Goose. From the look of them, they were on their way to the fields. Another man came from the stable, and a young lad came from the shed behind the inn. His arms were laden with chopped wood and he entered a side door that led to the kitchen.

Such an ordinary setting. One he suddenly missed.

He braced his outstretched arm against the window frame and willed the regrets away. Her voice brought him back to the present.

“What’s going to happen now?” she asked.

Her tone contained a wariness he regretted she felt with him, but he wasn’t surprised. Intimidation was a trait he’d developed to perfection.

He turned.

The babe wore fresh nappies and played on a large blanket near the warmth of the fire with the same rag toy he’d played with when they were in London. It seemed to be one of the babe’s favorites. He chewed on the bit of rag and kicked his feet, taking advantage of his new-found freedom and uttering indistinguishable noises Austin regretted no adult could understand.