Brought Together by Baby (7 page)

‘We need to talk, Holly,’ Gus had murmured quietly, catching her alone in the plaster room.

‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ she’d responded, with as much calm as she could muster, hurrying to finish her tasks, aware someone could walk in at any moment. ‘Nothing you say will change what you did.’

His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. ‘Well, I have some questions for you. Why did you fail to mention Julia—your
sister
? Or tell me about Euan?’

‘That has nothing to do with it.’ Holly flinched as he flung the names at her. That Julia had clearly told him about Euan was mortifying. And she knew it wouldn’t have been the truthful version. Hurt beyond bearing, she was affronted that Gus should try to pin the blame for his own behaviour on her. Shaking with emotion, and desperate to escape him, she opened the door, unable to keep her voice controlled. ‘I trusted you. I thought you were different. But I was wrong. So wrong.’ Guilt flashed across his face and, hardening her broken heart against him, she forced herself to continue. ‘It’s over—whatever
it
was to you. We have nothing more to say to each other.’

‘Holly…’

As Gus followed her out of the plaster room Holly closed her ears to the plea in his voice as he called her name. She
was conscious of people looking at them and, feeling used and foolish, she wanted a hole to open up and swallow her.

‘You’ve made your choice, now live with it.’ She turned and looked at him one final time. ‘You and Julia deserve each other.’

Somehow she’d choked out the words, refusing to cry in front of him, and then she’d turned and walked away.

As the days had passed things at work had remained strained, making her long for the moment when some new scandal would come along to occupy the gossips and remove her from the spotlight. She’d felt pinned down under a microscope, especially during the unavoidable occasions when she and Gus had been called on to work together. They’d been icily polite and starkly professional, but the tension had been palpable, affecting not just Gus and herself but the whole department. Although her colleagues had meant well, and had been nothing but supportive of her, leaving her in no doubt that they held Gus to blame, she knew the situation couldn’t continue indefinitely.

She hadn’t believed it possible that things could get worse, but she’d been wrong—as she’d discovered when things had come to a head a few weeks later and Julia turned up at the hospital. The buzz in the A&E department had increased to such an extent that the very air had crackled with electricity. Julia had looked beautiful, but fragile—the epitome of male fantasies. Gus had seemed stunned and embarrassed by her arrival…but that had been nothing compared to his shocked expression of horror when Julia had announced for all to hear that she was pregnant.

Holly had felt the news like a hammer-blow. It had left her devastated, angry, humiliated, jealous and confused. Confused because Julia had made her views on babies and motherhood all too clear in the past, so why was she accepting
it now? The only explanation Holly had been able to come up with was that her sister must really be in love with Gus to have had such a total change of heart.

As for Gus, knowing what she did of his background, Holly had no doubt how he would react. Whether the baby had been planned or not, Gus would embrace the responsibility of fatherhood one hundred percent.

The flash of triumph in her sister’s hazel eyes when Holly had met her gaze had cut her to the quick and confirmed what she had suspected…Julia had known exactly what she was doing and how much hurt she was inflicting.

Unable to watch them together, or to offer any words of congratulation, Holly had slipped away, seeking privacy before the tears that had threatened to flow could escape. The pain, emptiness and jealousy eating her away had been acute as she’d faced the stark reality: her sister now had everything that Holly had so craved and now lost…Gus and his baby.

News of the pregnancy had been swiftly followed by a rushed December wedding. Holly had been as unsurprised that Gus had demanded it as she’d been surprised that Julia—formerly so anti-marriage—had agreed. But she’d stayed away from the small civil ceremony—as had the entire A&E staff. However, the upsetting chain of events had spurred her to regain control of her own destiny and change things, which had involved putting in a request to transfer to the Children’s Ward as early in the New Year as possible, thus removing herself from A&E…and from Gus.

And now Julia was gone.

There was nothing she could do about the past, Holly allowed, except learn from her mistakes of placing her trust in people who let her down and hurt her so badly. She had to look to the future—especially the future of her nephew. The reality of his existence brought back the painful ache of emptiness
that had never really left her, along with a deep sense of loss that made part of her want to run away and never see Gus or his baby again.

But the other part of her had experienced a deep welling of love and protectiveness the instant she had seen the tiny bruised baby—emotions that had only intensified once she’d held him. There had been an instinctive and powerful sense of bonding. And, however difficult and painful life was going to be, she knew in her fractured heart that she could never turn her back on her precious, motherless nephew.

How was Gus going to manage the tiny baby on his own? That question had sparked a range of ideas that had been brewing in her mind since they had first learned of Julia’s tragic death and the baby’s miraculous fight for life. What she didn’t know was how her suggestions might be received—or even, given the bad blood between them, if Gus would listen to her, let alone allow her any kind of role in his son’s life.

Leaving the restroom and returning to the main unit, Holly squared her shoulders and sucked in a deep, steadying breath. The days and weeks ahead were not going to be easy, she knew that—both because of the anger and resentment she still felt towards Gus and because of the bittersweet emotions the baby aroused within her. But, whatever the cost to herself, fighting for her nephew was one battle she was determined
not
to lose.

As she approached the section of PICU that housed baby Buchanan she saw that Gus was not alone. One of the nurses was writing up notes while an older woman, who wasn’t wearing a uniform, was talking to Gus. Judging from the expression on his face he was far from pleased with what she was saying. Concerned, Holly joined them, ready to help if she could.

‘Is there a problem?’ she asked, keeping her voice calm and neutral.

Gus’s stormy green gaze met hers. ‘Holly, this is Alison Davison. She works here in the hospital and liaises with the social workers and health visitors.’

‘Ms Davison,’ she greeted her politely, setting down her bag and shaking the woman’s hand. Alison Davison was in her late forties, Holly guessed; tall and solid-looking, with short dark hair and brown eyes devoid of warmth. ‘I’m Holly Tait.’

‘You’re a relative?’ the woman queried.

‘I’m the baby’s aunt.’

It was the simplest explanation—she couldn’t force out the words
sister-in-law
to describe her link to Gus. Still unsure why Alison Davison was there, what had been discussed, and why Gus was looking so furious, Holly instinctively moved closer to him, wanting to present a united front.

‘Ms Davison is questioning my ability to care for my son,’ Gus explained, his voice carefully controlled but no less lethal for it. ‘She wants to know if I’m giving him up for adoption.’

CHAPTER FIVE

‘I’
VE
never heard anything so ridiculous!’ Outraged, both at the woman’s question and at the insensitive timing of her visit, Holly turned more fully to face her adversary. ‘
Of course
the baby is going to stay with his father. There’s no one better able to care for his son than Gus. How could you ever think he would give up his child?’

Ms Davison crossed her arms defensively across her chest. ‘I merely commented that it isn’t easy for a man on his own—’ she began, but the words only fuelled Holly’s anger.

‘It’s not easy for a woman alone, either, but I don’t suppose you go along to visit
them
within hours of their babies arriving and ask if
they’ve
thought about adoption.’

‘No, of course not, and this isn’t an official visit. My intention was only to introduce myself. But—’

‘Be that as it may,’ Holly persisted, warming to her argument and prepared to do anything to protect her beautiful nephew, ‘Gus isn’t alone. He has a hospital full of friends who will rally round to help him in any way they can. And then there’s me.’ Feeling Gus’s gaze on her, she sucked in a breath and pressed ahead while she had the chance. ‘I’m family. I’ll do whatever is necessary to support Gus—including moving into his house to help care for the baby.’

‘What about work? Both of you have demanding jobs,’ the
annoying woman pointed out, apparently determined only to see problems.

Holly wanted to stamp her foot in frustration. ‘It’s not rocket science! We’ll stagger our hours, ensuring that one of us is always there for the baby. And friends will willingly cover any occasional gaps. I doubt many new parents have such a well-qualified pool of babysitters to call on as Gus has.’

‘Well, you seem determined. I can see you’ve thought it all out.’ Alison Davison’s disappointment was evident, but thankfully she seemed ready to admit defeat. ‘I’ll leave you my card in case there’s anything I can do for you.’

Holly was unsurprised but secretly delighted when Gus threw the card away before the woman’s retreating figure had disappeared from view. Still wearing his scrubs, he looked rumpled and exhausted, a shadow of stubble darkening his jaw. His green gaze shifted, holding her own captive, and Holly swallowed, hoping she hadn’t overstepped the mark in her response to Alison Davison.

As the silence lengthened, and he continued to regard her with that brooding expression, her nervousness increased. What was he thinking? He looked wary and suspicious, and his lack of trust in her, proving again how far things had broken down between them, made her unutterably sad. It also made her anxious about how they would work together in the days and weeks ahead. Always assuming Gus was prepared to allow her a role in the baby’s life.

A sigh shuddered from her. However impossible it might prove to be for her to be around Gus so much, she had to set her personal issues aside and do what was best. Best for her nephew…and best for the man she had never been able to stop loving.
‘Did you mean what you said?’ Gus queried, cautious and uncertain, taken aback by the way Holly had rushed into battle, giving him such vehement support. Again she had appeared genuine and sincere, leaving him even more confused. ‘About wanting to move in and be involved with the baby, I mean?’

* * *

Sky-blue eyes reflected a flicker of the fiery passion with which she’d faced down Alison Davison. ‘Of course I meant it! I know I rushed ahead without consulting you, but she just made me so mad.’

Gus couldn’t prevent an inner flash of amusement. Oh, had she been mad! He’d never seen her like that before.

‘You ought to report her for what she said, and the thoughtless timing of her visit. It’s early days,’ she continued, moderating her tone, ‘and you haven’t had time to think, but living in as I suggested makes sense, Gus…doesn’t it?’

Unfortunately it
did
make sense. He dragged the fingers of one hand through his hair, feeling tired and drained after the shocking events of the last hours. It seemed a lifetime ago that he’d first learned of the accident, and so much had happened since then…The terrifying wait for news of whether or not his baby was alive; meeting the neonatal consultant Mr Haggerty; confirmation that there was no hope for Julia; seeing his son for the first time. On top of all that had been various to-ings and fro-ings of doctors, nurses and policemen with their questions. The last thing he had needed was Alison Davison’s ill-advised visit.

In the days ahead there would be more on the investigation from the police liaison officer assigned to the case, and more from the doctors on the baby’s medical condition. For now, though, they were free of outside interventions. Apart from the dedicated nurses on duty it was just him and his son. And Holly.

He sat down, watching as Holly moved back to her own
chair, a smile transforming her face as she leaned forward and slid a hand inside the cot. A little gasp of delight escaped her as the sleeping baby automatically curled his tiny but perfectly formed hand around one of her fingers. Something raw, powerful and dangerous churned inside him as he took in the tableau in front of him.

It was true Holly had shown no interest in his son before, so what had changed? And could he trust her? He didn’t know what lay behind her suggestions, but counteracting his doubts was the knowledge that Holly was an excellent nurse; he’d seen that for himself during the time they’d worked together.

There was no question whatsoever of him giving up his son, so he had to be realistic…however much he wanted to, he couldn’t do everything alone. He didn’t want to bring in a stranger, and in Holly he would have someone with skills in both children’s and trauma nursing—plus she was apparently willing to help. He hadn’t yet considered all the ramifications, but the most sensible idea
would
be for Holly to move into his house…at least for the time being. It was the last thing he wanted. But
his
wants didn’t matter. The baby’s did. And if being forced into close proximity with Holly was right for his child in these early formative weeks and months, then he’d just have to find a way to live with it and make it work.

‘All right. We’ll try it.’ His agreement was tentative and reluctant, the decision made for his son’s sake, not his own.

‘Thank you.’ The words were brief and she kept her gaze averted, so he was unable to gauge her real feelings. ‘Have you considered a name, Gus?’

Holly’s question changed the direction of his thoughts and he looked at his tiny son, marvelling anew at the perfection of him: the cap of soft, downy light brown hair on his head, the little movements of his mouth as he slept, the beat of his heart so visible under the almost translucent skin of his chest.
Love welled within him, along with knowledge of the magnitude of the responsibilities that lay ahead.