Authors: Terri Reid
Clarissa looked out the window of the bus, her stomach
clenched with anticipation as they pulled away from the school. Her best friend
Maggie, seated next to her, was unaware of her friend’s tension. “It’s so
exciting,” she gushed. “Mary and Bradley are probably already home.”
Clarissa’s stomach tensed again. “Yes, I know.”
“This is so great,” Maggie continued. “Now we both have a
family and we live almost next door to each other.”
Clarissa turned in her seat. “Maggie, my mom and dad used to
tell me that they loved me more because they chose me,” she said. “I wasn’t
just born to them; they found me so I would always be special.”
Nodding, Maggie smiled. “That’s kind of what my parents tell
me,” she said.
“But Mary and Bradley didn’t choose me,” Maggie said. “I
heard people talking at the wedding about how surprised Bradley was to learn I
was alive.”
“But it was a good surprise, right?” Maggie asked.
Shrugging, Clarissa looked back out the window. “I don’t
know,” she said quietly. “I don’t know if it was a good surprise or…”
“Or what?”
“The lady at the wedding said I was an obligation,” Clarissa
replied. “And it wasn’t fair that Mary had to raise someone else’s child.”
“What’s an obligation?” Maggie asked.
“I looked it up in the dictionary,” Clarissa said. “It’s
like a debt, something you have to take care of, even if you don’t want to.”
Thinking back to her babysitter in Chicago, Clarissa could
almost hear Mrs. Gunderson’s voice screaming,
It’s your fault your mother is sick. If you weren’t around, she could
rest and get better. You’re just sucking the life right out of her.
“But…but…your Bradley’s daughter and he
loves
you,” Maggie said, interrupting Clarissa’s thoughts.
“My mom said she loved me too,” Clarissa said. “But I sucked
the life right out of her.”
“What?” Maggie asked. “Your mom was sick, that’s why she
died.”
“I miss my mom,” Clarissa said, her lower lip trembling. “I
miss my mom and my dad. I wish they were still here.”
“But you never talk about them,” Maggie said, surprised at
her friend’s words. “You never acted like you missed them.”
Wiping away a few stray tears, Clarissa took a deep breath.
“That’s because I’m not supposed to talk about them. I’m supposed to pretend I
was always Mary and Bradley’s little girl and didn’t have another mom and dad. I
didn’t want to make them mad and tell me to go because I was afraid the bad man
would get me.”
“Why are you
s’posed
to pretend?”
Maggie asked.
“The lady on the bus from Chicago told me that people don’t
want a little girl who’s always sad, so if I wanted to make my new family
happy, I needed to pretend that everything was just fine. She told me to just
forget about my mom.”
“It would be hard to forget about your mom,” Maggie said.
Clarissa shook her head. “You can let your inside cry, but
your outside has to be happy.”
“But didn’t your Grandma O’Reilly tell you it was okay to
cry?” Maggie asked.
“But she’s a grandma, so that’s different,” Clarissa
decided. “I’m not her obligation. I just have to be happy for Mary.”
Maggie considered that for a moment. “I don’t think so,” she
said, matter-of-factly. “I think she just wants you to be you. I really think
she loves you.”
“Maybe she does or maybe she doesn’t have a choice,”
Clarissa said. “Maybe they’ll just get tired of me and send me away.”
“I don’t believe that,” Maggie said. “Mary loves you. Mary
loves everybody. Besides, I heard my mom tell my dad that Mary can’t have
babies. So, she’s pretty lucky she has you.”
Clarissa looked at Maggie.
“Really?
She can’t?” she asked, a hesitant smile on her face.
“That’s what my mom said. She said it was ’cause of the time
she got shot when she was worked for the police.”
“Did it hurt?” Clarissa asked.
Nodding her head urgently, Maggie replied. “She even died.
But she got sent back to earth.”
“Why?”
“So she could help people.”
“That’s nice,” Clarissa said and pausing for a moment, she
crossed her fingers and prayed the lie she was going to say wouldn’t really
count. “I’m sorry she can’t have babies.”
Maybe they’ll want me,
she thought,
maybe because they can’t
have babies they’ll need me.
The knot in her stomach loosened and she was finally excited
about going home to see her new mom and dad.
Her new family.
Just the three of them, for
now and always.
Bradley and Mary were waiting in the doorway when the bus
pulled up in front of their house.
As
Clarissa alighted and saw them waiting for her, she paused for a moment and
then ran to them, her arms outstretched. “You’re home,” she cried. “You’re
finally home.”
Bradley picked her up and he and Mary hugged her. “I think
you’ve grown three inches since we saw you,” he said.
Giggling, Clarissa shook her head. “No, I haven’t,” she
replied, “But I did lose a tooth.”
“A tooth?”
Mary exclaimed. “Let me
see.”
Clarissa obligingly opened her mouth as wide as she could
and pointed to the empty spot where her tooth used to be. “
Ight
air,” she said, keeping her mouth open.
“Right there?”
Bradley questioned.
She nodded, her eyes shining brightly.
“Well, that’s just amazing,” Mary said. “Did the tooth fairy
come yet?”
“No, I was waiting for you to get home,” she explained,
shaking her head for emphasis. “Mrs. Brennan said that would be okay.”
“It’s more than okay,” Mary said, rubbing the little girl’s
head gently. “It’s perfect. I’ve always wanted to meet the tooth fairy.”
Bradley looked up suddenly and stared at Mary, concern
written on his face.
She grinned and
shook her head, mouthing the words, “I’m kidding,” over Clarissa’s head.
He was visibly relieved.
“Well, I’ve always wanted to meet her too,” he said, a note
of teasing now in his voice. “So, what do we do first?
Set a trap?”
Mary and Clarissa glanced at each other and rolled their
eyes. “No, you don’t trap the tooth fairy,” Clarissa explained.
“Unless you want cavities in all of your teeth,” Mary added.
“Oh, so what do you do?” he asked, carrying Clarissa into
the house and depositing her on a chair at the kitchen table.
He pulled up a chair next to her and gave her all of his
attention.
Mary stood back, next to the counter and watched as her
husband listened carefully to Clarissa as she explained, in great detail, the
intricacies of getting a tooth fairy to pick up your tooth and leave a
gift.
He shook his head often and
murmured appropriate responses throughout the conversation and Mary fell a
little bit more in love with him.
Finally, when the conversation was over, they both looked
over to her expectantly. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Did I miss something?”
“We need a container,” Clarissa explained.
“For my tooth.”
“Ah,” Mary replied, nodding slowly.
“Something
very special and very small, right?”
They both agreed.
Reaching up, she opened a cabinet and stood on her tiptoes
and pulled out a cardboard box. She placed the box on the counter and took the
top off. “This is my treasure box,” she said. “It has all kinds of special
things I saved when I was a little girl. I think I have exactly what we need in
here.”
Rustling through the box, she finally located a tiny bone
china chest with a lid that opened and closed.
She picked it up and held it out to Clarissa.
“Well, what do you think?” she asked. “Will
this do?”
Jumping from her chair, the child hurried over to Mary and
gently took hold of the chest.
With
wonder she opened and closed the lid several times, latching and unlatching the
tiny hook that held it in place. “This is perfect,” she said. “Can I really use
it?”
“You can use it and you can keep it,” Mary said, “As long as
you take good care of it.”
Lunging forward, she wrapped her arms around Mary and hugged
her. “I’ll take good care of it,” she said. “I promise.”
Bending over, Mary placed a kiss on Clarissa’s head. “I’m
sure you will.”
Bradley came over and knelt next to Clarissa, examining the
chest in her hand. “That chest looks sturdy enough to handle a hundred teeth.
One at a time, of course,” he said.
“That’s silly,” Clarissa said. “My teacher said kids only
lose twenty teeth, not a hundred.”
“Well, how about your brothers or sisters,” Bradley teased.
“If you don’t mind sharing with them.”
Clarissa’s face sobered and she studied both of her parents.
“What brothers and sisters?” she asked.
Laughing, Bradley gave her a quick hug. “I know you’re going
to love being a big sister,” he said.
“Well, let’s not get the cart before the horse,” Mary inserted.
“We don’t even know if we can have babies.”
“You’re going to have a baby?” Clarissa asked, her voice
rising slightly.
“No, dear,” Mary soothed. “No I’m not going to have a baby.”
“Not yet, anyway,” Bradley said with a smile. “But won’t it
be great when she does.”
Clarissa swallowed audibly and slowly nodded her head. “I
guess so,” she said. “But what about…”
Bradley bent over and kissed her forehead. “Why don’t you go
on upstairs and get changed,” he interrupted. “Then we can show you what we
brought you back from Scotland.”
“Oh, okay,” she replied, turning away from them and slowly
walking up the stairs.
“Clarissa,” Mary called. “You forgot the chest.”
She obediently turned around and took the chest from Mary’s
hand. “Thanks,” she replied half-heartedly.
“Put your tooth in it and place it on your nightstand and
I’m sure the tooth fairy will pick it up tonight,” Mary promised.
Clarissa sighed deeply. “Okay,” she said. “I will.”
She walked away again, her head bowed and her steps
heavy.
They watched her walk up the
stairs in silence. “What do you think is wrong?” Bradley asked.
Mary shook her head. “I have a feeling we are going to have
some interesting adjustments as we create our new family.”
Clarissa climbed the stairs, walked to her room, closed the
door and sat on the edge of her bed.
She
placed the little chest down on her nightstand, dropped her backpack on the
floor and rolled onto her bed, curling up into a fetal position as tears fell
from her eyes.
You’re nothing but
trouble. No one wants you
. Mrs. Gunderson’s voice echoed in her mind.
You’re the reason your parents are dead, do
you think anyone wants you to be part of their family?
“No!” she cried out loud. “They want me. I’ll make them want
me.”
The alarm went off and Mary, her eyes still closed,
automatically reached across the bed to turn it off. But instead of finding her
nightstand and the clock, her hand encountered flesh – warm, breathing flesh. Eyes
popping open immediately, she turned her head and was initially surprised by
the man lying in bed next to her. But, as her mind finally caught up with the
rest of her, she remembered that the large expanse of male softly snoring in
her bed was her new husband. Reaching over him, she quickly clicked off the
buzzing alarm.
She levered herself up on a bent arm to watch him sleep.
Leaning forward, she brushed his hair from his forehead and softly feathered
her fingers through his hair. He smiled in his sleep and she grinned back. She
bent forward to place a kiss on his forehead when strong arms wrapped around
her and pulled her across the bed into his embrace. She nestled her head
against his neck. “Morning,” she whispered, placing her lips against his
collarbone.
“Morning,” he said, his morning voice deep and hoarse.
He leaned back, looked down at her with a smile on his lips
and bent forward to kiss her. She ducked and burrowed against his shoulder.
“No, you can’t kiss me yet,” she exclaimed. “I have morning breath. Gross!”
She could feel the chuckle reverberate throughout his body.
“Do we have to have gum or mints next to the bed?” he asked, nibbling on her
neck.
She stretched, allowing him more access. “That would be
nice,” she agreed.
“And maybe a little container of
mouthwash.”
He lifted his head. “What?”
“You know, mouthwash,” she said. “And maybe some cups to
spit in.”
“Mary, you are ruining the mood,” he replied, running his
hand down the side of her body. “We need to be spontaneous.”
She arched against him. “I’m spontaneous,” she argued, her
breathing becoming slightly erratic. “I’m just spontaneous with good dental
hygiene.”
He kissed her neck and her collarbone, spending time on the
sensitive spot where her pulse beat wildly beneath her skin. “Mary,” he
breathed, as he began to move lower.
“Yes,” she stammered, her eyes closed in pure delight.
Just then his cell phone rang.
He swore softly and rolled over, slipped out
from under the covers and walked across the room to the dresser. “Alden,” he
said as he answered the phone. “Yeah, Tom, what’s up?”
Mary scooted up in bed and smiled, enjoying the fine picture
her husband presented from the back. All those months watching him stretch
before they jogged. Yes, she sighed silently, he was even sexy under baggy cut-off
sweats, but without them…damn!
He turned, caught her watching him and lifted an eyebrow in
her direction.
She grinned and sent him
a double thumbs
up. Choking back laughter, he turned away to
pay attention to the call. “Sure, Tom, I can meet,” he agreed. “Yeah, I can be
there by seven thirty this morning. No. No problem. Thanks.”
He hung up the phone and turned around to face her. “I’ve
got to go in early,” he said, regret heavy in his voice.
“Back to the real world,” she replied with a sigh. “I should
get up too. I want to be fully awake when Clarissa comes down this morning so
she can show us what the tooth fairy left her.”
He climbed back into bed next to her and massaged her back.
“Do you think we did it right?” he asked.
Stretching and enjoying his warm hands on her back, she
leaned forward and sighed. “We did just fine,” she said. “I only got a quarter;
a dollar is more than enough.”
“But this is her first tooth with us,” he argued.
“Good thing I gave her that tiny chest or you would have
wanted to put a bike under her pillow,” she teased.
He pulled her backward into his arms and kissed her on the
mouth. “Come on,” he said. “We can shower together.”
She shook her head innocently. “Oh, that’s not necessary, we
have plenty of time for each of us to have our own showers,” she insisted.
Grabbing her hand and pulling her off the bed, he shook his
head. “Not the way I was planning it.”
Sometime later, dressed in a big white towel, Mary leaned
against the bathroom doorframe. She looked at her towel-clad husband through
the mirror, his face white with shaving cream and smiled. “That was the best
shower I’ve ever taken,” she admitted.
He grinned back at her. “Me too,” he replied and then he
shook his head. “Mary, I’m really not ready to get back to the real world. Let’s
run away to Hawaii.”
She came up behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist
and laid her head against his back. “So, what part of today are you not looking
forward to?” she asked, placing a kiss on his back.
“Oh, let’s see, there’s the meetings and the paperwork,” he
said. “And then there’s the paperwork and the meetings.”
“It’s tough having a glamorous job like Chief of Police,”
she said. “But someone has to do it.”
He turned in her arms and put his hand under her chin
lifting her head slightly. “I really wish we didn’t have to go back into the real
world,” he said, placing a kiss on her lips. “Should we run away to a tropical
paradise?”
“Bugs,” Mary said.
“Big ones.”
“That’s true,” he agreed. “Okay, I’ll guess we’ll stay
here.”
Reaching up and kissing him back, she grinned. “Good
choice.”