Authors: R.J. Lewis
“I would have found a way,” was his response.
“In other words, no.”
“I would have found a way,” he stressed again tightly. “I’d have died before I let someone else touch you. You promised me, Sara. You promised the long haul and broke it within hours.”
“Jaxon–”
“You threw me under the bus. Told him about Brett. Now I’m stuck on this side and I can’t help you–”
“He put me in a room with nowhere to go,” I cried.
“And I would have found you!” he angrily retorted. “Just like I have now! I’d have found you and brought you back.”
“Then take me back. I’m out of there now.”
“The deal’s been made, Sara. There’s no fixing this. If I rock the boat, hell’s going to break loose. It’d be selfish of me to risk every Scorpion’s life because I want a woman who freely threw me under the bus with the enemy. You’re his property now, Sara. That was his act of retaliation.”
Shock.
Hopelessness.
Horrible chest pains.
This was heartbreak over and over again – the never ending constant in my life. He was going to let me go.
“I love you so much,” I whispered. Low blow, I know. I wanted him to hear my love and take back those words.
There’s always a way. He’ll find a way—
“Sara, you know I’ll always love you.” Fuck, was he really ending this?
“Then help me get out of here because there’s no way I can on my own. They’ve got cameras and men everywhere–”
“I can’t help you,” he interrupted again, sterner than before.
I exhaled hopelessly. “So that’s it, then? You’re just going to leave me prisoner here?”
“It’s out of my hands. I can’t… I can’t do anything to help you. I’m powerless.”
“You have to do something! Please, Jaxon. Please, please.”
“It’s done. You can’t get out of this.”
“You’re going to abandon me? Just leave me here like nothing? How could you–”
“If you hadn’t run off, if you’d just decided to stay like you promised, none of this would have happened! None of it. You broke your word and now you’re going to have to live with it. My heart hurts, Sara. It can’t handle any more of this. I tried. I tried my damn fucking hardest for you and you walked away. I can’t take your uncertainty anymore!”
I wiped away the tears and nodded ahead. There really was no way to fix this, and it would have been horrible of me to press him to. He was in a shit situation and I’d broken my promise. Again. But fuck, it wasn’t as if I did it maliciously.
“Just say the words, Jaxon,” I whispered in resignation, “Tell me you’re done with me. Get it over with already.”
“Sara,” he paused, and I could hear his deep ragged breaths, filling the silence until he finished. “I have others depending on me. I can’t do this. I have to let you go.”
Tears fell from my eyes. “Okay.”
“Sara, they’ll take care of you better than I ever could–”
“How do you know that?”
“Because their security is the best. I couldn’t offer the same thing. The truth is the Jackals are stronger, and right now you need protection if someone is intent on wanting you dead.”
“Jaxon, please–”
“Stop begging, Sara. It’s done.”
“Fine,” I angrily wiped the tears from my eyes. “You want to leave me here? You want to let me go? Then do it. Move on and… and take care of yourself.”
“Sara–”
I immediately ended the call. I set the phone down harshly and bent forward, holding my arms around my stomach. I felt sick. So damn sick, my head was spinning. I nearly threw up right there on the spot from the anxiety swimming in my belly. I’d deserved it. I knew that. I’d have stupidly left him by listening to another man when I should have just stayed.
I should have fucking stayed!
But Remy would have gotten to me regardless, and he would have found a way to keep me. But I supposed if I’d just gone to the apartment, Jaxon might have fought harder to get me back.
Oh, such karma! I abandoned him, and now the tables had turned. It fucking hurt.
In a way I was glad for him. He needed to live his life, not get deterred by a woman who betrayed him twice now. Had trusting Remy with the truth been so wrong of me at the time?
Trust is a fickle thing. I just witnessed a bond down the fucking stairs between brothers that looked like it ran far deeper than the core of the fucking earth. Yet someone had slipped this note into my pocket. Someone had done what Jaxon had asked.
Was someone here working for him? Did it even matter anymore?
He’s your soul mate, and you just told him to move on.
Some pains are worth enduring, remember?
*****
I languidly trailed my fingers up and down his torso as I sat over top of him. He gripped my hips and rocked me back and forth. I shut my eyes, focusing on the feel of him as my breathing picked up.
“That’s it,” he whispered huskily. “Come for me, Sara.”
And I did. And it was fucking amazing.
He buckled under me, gripping me even tighter as he came, groaning aloud into the air. I collapsed into his chest, resting the side of my face against his sweaty hard skin.
“Never gets old,” he quietly said, stroking my hair as he caught his breath.
He was still inside of me even minutes after. I didn’t want to separate from him. Things had been rocky lately, and it was nothing to do with him, of course. I wanted to savour this short moment of happiness.
“I have something for you,” he said sometime after.
By then I was falling asleep in his arms. “Hmm?”
He lifted me up and pulled out of me. Then he rested me on the bed and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at me with a small smile on his face.
“I have something for you,” he repeated.
I watched him for a moment in thought. “What do you have?”
His small smile widened. “You have to promise not to be upset with me.”
“What have you done, Jaxon?”
He traced his finger along my jaw line with a smug, mischievous look on his face. “Promise me, Tiny.”
Now I was curious. “I promise I won’t be upset.”
He shuffled over to the night stand and opened the drawer. I heard him shuffle things around before he closed it back up and turned to me. In his hand was a small pristinely wrapped gift.
“Happy belated birthday, Sara,” he said.
My jaw dropped. “I told you no gifts!”
He chuckled. “I know and I didn’t. I honoured that, but then… I saw this and I thought of you.”
“Sneaky. Very sneaky.” I couldn’t help my smile.
“Take it.”
As I took it he turned on the lamp beside the bed. I sat up and eyed him with mock disapproval when really I was exploding with glee on the inside. He was still propped on his elbow, lying on his side, looking up at me now with excited eyes.
“Go on,” he ushered me. “Open it.”
“But look how beautifully it’s wrapped,” I replied. “It would be a shame to ruin this work of art.”
“Shut up and tear the wrapping paper, Tiny.”
I tore the wrapping paper off. After admiring the black, squared jewellery box in my hands, I slowly opened it. I broke into an even wider smile at my first ever piece of high-end jewellery. It was a silver heart chain bracelet and it looked amazing.
“Read the heart,” he whispered beside me.
I took the dangling heart into my hands. Diamonds bordered it and glistened under the light as I flipped it. Engraved words on the back read:
You’re my ultimate.
“Wow, it’s beautiful, Jaxon.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
He took my wrist and put the bracelet on; all the while I watched him, carefully hiding my melancholy. I’d been treating him badly lately. My anger had taken him off guard, and he seemed to relish my short moments of normalcy.
“Beautiful bracelet for a beautiful woman,” he admired, bringing my hand to his mouth for a kiss.
“You didn’t have to do this,” I told him quietly. After being a shit girlfriend, the last thing I deserved was a beautiful bracelet like this.
“They say you can judge how well a woman is taken care of by her jewellery,” he replied, eyeing me with his tender blue eyes. “I want you to be taken care of. I want this to be the first of many. I want to spoil you with every penny I get.”
I beamed brightly. “Then I’ll treasure this forever as my first ever piece of jewellery.”
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. I’d left behind the bracelet in my haste to leave and hadn’t realized it until long after.
It was another life’s regret of mine.
He didn’t stumble to his room. He walked assertively with a few minor missteps here and there…
Okay, he stumbled to his room. He was a little tipsy, but it’d been a long while since he’d had that much to drink. Remy had been so consumed in his conversation with Logan, he’d completely lost track of time. After batting away slender arms that belonged to a series of women he didn’t want, he went in search for Sara.
The first thought that entered his mind when he didn’t find her with Tessa and Dayna was:
fuck, did she take off?
He wouldn’t have been surprised. This was her first real freedom with him. Everyone was preoccupied by their own shit. Parties at the clubhouse were wild, and no one would have stopped her from leaving the premises. They wouldn’t have even noticed!
Fuck, she left. Of course she fucking left. She’d spent nights in the same bed as him and hadn’t made a fucking move. He’d held her captive and tried his hardest to make her need him. Maybe she’d realized his cruel intentions and taken off. Had she gone back to
him
? God, he’d kill him if she did.
But the second he opened his bedroom door, he saw her figure in his bed. He let out a relieved breath as he shut the door behind him. She was sleeping peacefully on her side with her hands cupped together beneath her chin. Remy threw his leather vest off and then his boots, watching her intensely even though she’d made zero movement.
He climbed into bed behind her. Normal patient Remy was now a tipsy, irrepressible ball of feelings. She hadn’t left. She’d stayed right here. Maybe she did want this. Maybe she could be trusted after all.
He couldn’t help himself. His self-control had weaned significantly after all that alcohol. He lightly stroked her bare arm, feeling her silky soft skin beneath his fingertips. It was electrifying that a simple touch of her skin had given him bolts of pleasure. Imagine more. He rested on his side just behind her and continued to stroke her arm. His face neared the back of her head, taking in the scented raspberry shit she shampooed her hair with. It was to fucking die for.