“I’m merely trying to make sure my investment pays off.” She rubbed her face again. “I’ve never made a bad deal and don’t intend to start now.”
“Got any tips for me then?” I asked, pulling myself out of the dumpster and landing on the asphalt with a splash. I looked down to find myself standing in a mud puddle. I trudged out of it and sighed. The hems of my jeans were soaked with muddy water. Awesome.
“Yeah, put fifty dollars on the number six horse in the second race.” She stood, stretching her cat body. “Oh, and don’t trust angels no matter how far you can throw them. The only thing wilier than a demon making a deal is an angel doing the same. Their terms make ours look like kittens and sunshine.” She leapt onto the ground beside me and rubbed her face against my leg. “And we’ll send you to Hell and torture your soul for all eternity.”
“And their deal is somehow worse than that?” I asked, having a hard time figuring out how that’d be possible.
“Oh yes, very much so.” She began walking away, tail held up high. “They might seem like they’re all truth and justice, but here’s the thing about justice. Usually it is meted out based upon the judgment of the person with the biggest stick.”
“Good to know,” I said as the cat vanished around the corner, leaving me to stand there in my sodden jeans and wonder how I hadn’t died. I was pretty sure I’d been thrown back to Earth from the stairway to Heaven, and a fall like that should have killed me. Then again, maybe it was more of a figurative fall, and I’d just been transported back into a dumpster for comedic effect. Either way, it hadn’t been enough to kill me. Yet.
I looked up at the sky and wondered how long I’d been in transit since the sun, the bastard that it was, was shining brightly enough to practically blind me. Since it had been nighttime when I’d been in the theme park, a while must have passed. Long enough for Danton and Ricky to have found me, assuming they also hadn’t been dashed from Heaven’s steps. So where the hell were they? Still next to those golden gates? I wasn’t sure, but I needed to find out, fast. Otherwise, I’d have no way of finding Baal and rescuing family.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said as I stepped out of the alley and found myself staring at the same scene I had only a couple days ago. The laundromat where I’d saved Sera from those werewolves was just across the street looking no worse for wear, and since landing in a dumpster does not do positive things for one’s wardrobe, I was in desperate need of clothing. With any luck, maybe Sera would be there doing laundry again. She’d been helpful last time. Maybe she’d help me again.
I made my way over to the sidewalk and looked both ways. Satisfied I wasn’t going to turn into a road pancake by the cars zooming down the street, I hightailed it across the road. A few minutes later, I stepped inside the laundromat to see an older gentleman sitting on one of the benches in front of one of the dryers. As the bell above the door jangled to signal my entry, he turned to look at me, setting his book down on the bench next to him and adjusting his spectacles in a way that made his ancient brown eyes seem huge and bug-like.
“If you’re here to pick up your clothing, I suggest you check it before you go.” He gestured toward his dryer. “Why just the other day someone stole some of my stuff.” He shook his head. “God must have been looking out though because I found a fifty dollar bill mixed in with my remaining clothes. It was a good thing. Between Diana’s medical care and my hours getting cut at Walmart, I’m not sure I could have afforded a new uniform otherwise.”
“I’m sorry to hear you’ve been robbed,” I said, swallowing my sudden guilt. Had he been the one I’d taken a pair of pants and polo from in my desperate search for clothing? It seemed likely since I’d left behind the money I’d stolen from one of the jackasses accosting Sera. The gesture had been small and sort of pointless in the grand scheme of things, but something about robbing poor people in a laundromat still didn’t sit quite right with me. And here I was about to do it again. I had definitely been a banker in my past life.
“It’s okay.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone stole my stuff. It probably won’t be the last time either. I just hope whoever took it, really needed it.”
“I’m sure they did,” I replied, wondering whatever had happened to the clothes I’d left on Sera’s bathroom floor. Maybe I could return them… No, that was a silly thought. One I definitely did not have time to entertain. Finding Sera, on the other hand, wasn’t a bad idea. I’d bet dollars to donuts she could help me find Ricky and Danton, or if she couldn’t, she’d definitely know someone who could help.
“One can only hope,” he said, turning away from me and going back to his book. I wasn’t sure what it was about, but since the cover pictured six pack abs superimposed over a wolf howling at the moon, I was reasonably sure it wasn’t my cup of tea. Hey, I wasn’t judging. People can read whatever they want. Still, if I’d learned one thing, it’s that not all alpha werewolves were nice, which was why I’d thrown the last one I’d met out of an airplane. His six pack abs and billions of dollars hadn’t helped him with the sudden stop at the bottom.
I nodded to the old man and made my way toward the bathroom because I needed an excuse to be in there. Something told me turning around and walking away might make him suspicious, but then again, it probably didn’t matter. What was he going to do, bludgeon me with his slippers? Besides, it wasn’t like anything bad had happened to me the last time I’d gone into this particular bathroom to wash up. To other people, sure, but me? Nah…
Amazingly, I made it into the room without a semi-truck exploding through the front door or a helicopter putting a few thousand rounds into the building. I took a couple moments to splash cool water on my face, and as I stood up, I saw a face staring back at me from the mirror.
“Hello, Mac,” Baal said, his lips curling into a smile. “How about you and I have a little chat?”
I whirled around, but found nothing standing behind me. As I turned back toward the mirror, Baal reached one sinewy arm through the glass, grabbed me by the throat, and pulled me through the looking glass.
Chapter 11
“See, here’s the thing, Mac. I’ve seen what you do when you go off half-cocked on one of your crusades. I can’t have you running amok and messing with my organization in some fool’s quest for people I don’t even have,” Baal said as he paced back and forth in front of me. His long, dark legs ate up the distance so quickly he only managed about three steps in the tiny room before he needed to turn around and start over. “Admittedly, part of me wants to kill you right now, but there’s one tiny wrinkle with that plan.” He reached out and poked my demonic arm with one long finger. “I don’t know who gave you that, and the last thing I want to do is piss off someone worse than me. You don’t get to be my age by making stupid choices.”
He shot me a wide grin that made Emperor Palpatine’s voice rise up in the back of my head and beg me to give in to my hate. The only problem was even if I could take down the big demon right now, it wouldn’t do me any good if he was lying about not having my family. I needed to know for sure before I could kill him.
Baal started pacing again. It was a little weird to watch since he was wearing bright pink spandex running shorts and no shirt, but all that made me think was that he wasn’t wearing body armor. It meant he was over confident, and that was something I could exploit, assuming, of course, there was a weapon that could hurt a demon.
Then again, getting a weapon might be a tad difficult. I wasn’t quite sure where I was, since it was the most non-descript room I’d ever seen with floor to ceiling white walls and one of those old-fashioned incandescent lights hanging fixture-less from wires in the ceiling. Wherever it was mimicked old cop movies pretty well. Unfortunately, I was on the wrong side of this interrogation, and that didn’t bode well at all. Just because he didn’t want to kill me right now didn’t mean he wouldn’t yank off my arm, and it was way too early in the morning for that sort of thing.
“Then give me back my family, and I’ll think about not killing you. It’s a good deal. Turns out I’m pretty good at killing people who don’t think they can be killed,” I replied, smiling as best as I could. Admittedly, it was hard to look tough since I was zip tied to a metal folding chair, but I had to work with what I had. I wasn't even sure how I’d been bound so quickly, since I’d sort of arrived through the mirror this way, but I was going to go with demon douchebag powers. Man, I was really starting to hate demon douchebag powers.
“That’s entirely the problem,” Baal said, rubbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger. His dark eyes sparkled as he leaned over to look me in the eye, practically having to fold himself in half to do it. “Like I said before, I don’t have your family. At least, not anymore.” His mouth rippled into a smug, snake-like grin. “Sure, I may have implied I still had them earlier so you’d kill Pierce Ambrose for me.” He shrugged his shoulders. “He made a crack about my mother, and I’ll have you know the rumors are quite untrue. She’s a very lovely woman.” He showed me his teeth.
A surge of rage and self-doubt exploded through me at his words. Was that true? Could he have really been playing me this entire time? If he didn’t actually have my family, were they still okay? Were my sister and nephew already dead? Had the deadline to rescue them passed? If it had, someone was going to pay for it in blood.
“If you don’t have them, who does? I saw a Cursed take them.” I narrowed my eyes at Baal, trying to force all my rage into sundering eye lasers. It didn’t seem to have much effect on the huge demon. Damn.
“One of my minions did have them. He just doesn’t have them now.” He looked at me sheepishly. “See, before you got that neat little arm, I had one of my minions visit you, make a few demands, and knock you around a bit. I guess it’d have been easier to just pay you, but I have a reputation to keep up.” Baal took a step backward as I surged up in the chair so quickly the zip ties cut into my flesh, and the chair toppled over to the floor. My head smacked painfully against the white tile, and my vision went spotty. “What would people think of me if I didn’t do something dastardly and evil? They might think I was growing soft. Besides, I never actually expected you to succeed. You might say I’ve done this a couple times.”
“What did you do with my family?” I roared. I was so angry, I could barely think straight. I was tired of being jerked around by demons, tired of being led on wild goose chases. Mostly though, I was just tired of feeling responsible. A part of me that seemed to grow with every passing moment knew I was the reason my sister and nephew were in their predicament. Maybe that wouldn’t have bothered me in my past life, but it bothered me now. A lot.
As if I’d had any doubts to my guilt, Baal had straight up told me he’d kidnapped my family so I’d attempt to kill Pierce Ambrose, and to make matters worse, he had thought so little of me he’d already disposed of them. He’d just better hope it wasn’t a permanent sort of disposal because while I wasn’t sure how to kill a demon, this time there would be no trying, only doing.
Baal threw his hands up. “Hey, I didn’t do anything. Like I said. Minions.” He gave me a conciliatory smile that showed a billion white as snow teeth. Something about the expression made me think of a shark smiling before it ate you. “But since I’m a nice guy, I’ll make you a deal.” He knelt down beside me and ran one long, dark finger across my blackened arm. “Tell me who gave you this, and I’ll tell you precisely which of my minions had them.”
Before I could respond, a blinding flare of agony exploded across my brain, reducing the entire world into splinters of indescribable torture. My hearing shattered into a sharp, ringing whine, and the taste of blood filled my mouth as I was forcibly pulled backward across the floor. The bindings holding me against the chair melted away into bits of molten plastic, but I barely felt it burning my flesh as I hit the wall hard enough for nearly every bone in my body to snap, crackle, and pop.
“Well, isn’t this interesting,” Baal said, a curious look on his face as I was dragged up the wall and onto the ceiling by some unseen force. “Seems like you’ve got friends in high places.”
Golden light flared, shrouding my vision in a haze I couldn’t see past moments before everything went completely dark.
Chapter 12
“Mac, wake up!” Ricky cried, shaking me violently. My eyes shot open. She was hunched over me with both of her hands on the collar of my trench coat. We were somehow back in the bathroom of the laundromat. Where had Baal gone, and how did I get back here?
“Ricky, be careful,” I said, trying to get to my feet, but I succeeded only in stumbling into her. “Baal is here. He pulled me through the mirror.”
“Yeah, about that,” Danton said from the doorway of the bathroom. “After Gabe threw you out of Heaven, I made him help us track you down.”
“By made, he means begged like a little girl,” Ricky said, burying her head into my neck while her hands wrapped around me. Things inside me strained under the pressure. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she whispered into my ear. “I’m not sure what I’d have done if we couldn’t get you back.” The relief in her voice made me never want to make her worry about me again.
“Yes, well, anyway, after demanding in a very undignified way, Gabriel got off his angelic ass and saw you’d been captured by Baal. Since that went against our plans for the demon, Gabe yanked you out.” He shot me an apologetic grin. “It probably hurt a bit.”
“Does everything involving your brand of power involve untold amounts of agony?” I muttered, glad there was a good reason why I’d been pulled away from Baal. Part of me had worried it’d been something more sinister, although I wasn’t sure what would be more sinister. Lucifer needing another person for his personal tea party?
“Sooner or later, you’ll learn it’s all pain and sacrifice,” Danton replied with a shrug. “It’s probably why angels have the tendency to behave like dicks.”
I waved off the comment as Ricky loosened her bear hug enough for me to breathe normally. “Don’t suppose you’ve learned anything useful.”