Burned Gasoline (18 page)

              “Wait just a few minutes for the worst wind to dissipate then we’ll run again. This wind makes us go in circles, we can’t see shit.”

              Raylyn let her pulse slow down and with wide eyes she looked around the room. “Oh my God, these are all my things!” She shook her head in disbelief. “That’s my mailbox, my rake, my pink tool box. It’s all here.”

              He roamed through the same pile, curious to see what the hell else was in there.

              “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

              “What is it?” She looked up from the other side of the pile of rubbish, holding the mailbox draped in the floors of the American flag, engraved with her last name.

              “This is my dad’s shirt!” He yelled and was almost shaking from anger. “It even has our fucking logo on it, see?” He held up the shirt for her so she could read the back.

              “Gass County Cars and Engines.”

              “This shirt must be at least fifteen years old. This is nuts. I remember my dad wearing this. Do you think she put it here?”

              “Who? Sarah? Could be.”

              “These are things that must have accumulated over years and years of… collecting, hoarding, stealing? Everything that has ever been missing around town is here? This…” He held up a jacket that had seen its better days, but still had a hint of a faded yellow, “belongs to Wayne, and the fire department. He almost got fired that first week for losing it, and here it is. Fucking shit… he never lost it, she took it.”

              “Hey!” She peeked out. “It’s easing up a bit in the snowfall, I think we need to make a move for it until the falling snow covers up the rest of the tracks. You need to bring me back to where you lost track of her and Nova.” She’d already swung the rifle over her shoulder and headed down the steep latter. “Come on! I’m not sitting around waiting for your friends from the local police academy to show up to the rescue any time soon.” Her voice frustrated and strained as she hit the snowy ground below the hut.

              “They’re not jokers, you know. They know what they’re doing. Sorry they’re not your advanced SWAT teams from the east.”

              “Yeah, alright, just keep moving okay. Where was it that she hit you and left you behind?”

              “Oh, God. Everything looks the same around here in the snow.”

              “No, it doesn’t, even I can see the difference and I’m not from around here!”

              “Okay, stop yelling at me! I know I came from over here so let’s just keep going until we find some tracks, okay. It hasn’t been enough snow coming down yet to cover them up, it has mostly been blowing sideways. We’ll be fine.”

              Steps after the steps they fought the snow trying to eat their boots up with cold hunger, until branches and needles had slammed them enough in the face and made them stop.

              “Please, tell me you know we’re going in the right direction. I can’t lose another baby, Jeff. I just can’t.”

              What do you mean
another
baby? Has this happened to you before, because would be extremely coincidental?”

The exhaustion of running, looking for tracks, and the energy it took for the adrenaline to pump its way through her body started to take out its toll. She was shaking.

              “I lost three babies, to miscarriages, before Nova came along. She’s my miracle, and to lose her like this, or to lose her at all, is not… even… I can’t…. my child.”

              “Hey, hey, hey, hey…” His arms went around her, hugging her tightly. “Let me carry this, and let’s keep on walking, it can’t be more than a few miles to the next farm out here. It never is. Let’s go th…”

              A scream so violent echoing through the snow white forest tore her whole body apart, that she couldn’t stop herself, and vomited up the last hours anxiety and dinner on the white grounds next to Jefferson’s feet. It just kept coming, up, and out, until there was nothing more than dry heaves and spit. Tears were running down in floods along her face, and with the sleeve of her jacket she tried to wipe them dry.

              “It’s okay, sweetie.” He placed his hand on her back, until she found enough strength to pull her head back and breathe in the cold air.

              “That was my baby.”

              “No, Raylyn, it wasn’t. That scream was much too loud for a little baby.”

              “What was that then?”

              “I’m guessing… Sarah… I’m not sure. Please, let’s go. If we heard it that clear she cannot be that far away. Please. I’ll even carry you on my back if I need to.”

              “No, no. I’m fine.” She stood up, balancing her weight by clasping onto her knees incase another vomit would cascade out of her mouth. “Buy, what was that?”

              “Bear traps.”

              “What? Oh my god. You have bear out here?”

              “You didn’t know?”

              “No! Oh, my God, my baby might get eaten by bears.”

              “Raylyn, calm down. Bears are sleeping during the winter. They hibernate, you know? She might have just stepped in an old set trap, would be my best guess. But…” His hands helped her up into standing, and tightened the strap of the rifle slung over his shoulder.

              “But, what?”

              “Once in a while there are gray wolves coming down from the northern states in search of new territory and well… food. Especially, in the winter, when the cold freezes most things that aren’t edible.”

              “Sarah, just stepped in a trap made for wolves? Is that what you’re saying?”
              “Yes.” He nodded slowly, serious eyes staring into hers. “We haven’t had too much problem around here in the last few years, but wounded livestock is an easy target for someone who’s been hungry for a very long time. And hunt in groups.”

              “Sarah’s might be bleeding.”

              “You kinda stole my thought there.”

              “I need to get my baby!” She turned in a flash and as her feet had found unbelievable energy, she sprinted, as fast as she could until the scream, that had been so loud, came into listening range once more.

              “Raylyn, over here!” To her left, Jefferson were waving to her, urging her over to where a small hill slanted down into the smallest of frozen creeks. “Look.” His voice quieter, his hand pulling her behind 

              Her eyes followed the path of his finger, slowly pointing, to the taller ridge facing the ravine opening up before them. Suddenly she saw them, their gray and white colors melting so well in with nature around them, they were barely visible, among the snowflakes. Three, then four, wolves appeared one by one behind the trees opposite them. One standing just a little taller than the others. Stunning and completely terrifying at the same time, even making the air seem to freeze entering her lungs.

              Jefferson, turned his gaze upon her, watching her face as she looked across the open trench facing them.

              “They’re lifting their heads, look.” She mumbled, and nodded in the direction barely eighty feet away from them.

              “They’re sniffing the air. My guess is that they smell Sarah down there.” He pointed straight down beneath them.

              “Oh My God!” She couldn’t contain herself and threw herself out from behind his back into the open, before she felt a tug at the back of her jacket and Jefferson pulled her back in.

              “Are you fucking insane? Trying to get us all killed?”

              “Oh my god…” She whined, and grabbed at the snow on the ground, trying to get back to the edge of the steep hill.

              “Fuck, Raylyn. Stop it!” He wheezed. “This is just why I didn’t tell you she was down there.

              “My baby…” She cried. “My baby… oh, my god. My baby.”

              “Raylyn. Raylyn, look at me. Look at me!” He shook her shoulders gently, but she was irreconcilable. She didn’t seem to hear him. Instead he grabbed her chin in his hand and made her eyes straight into his. “Nova is not down there. She is not with Sarah. Do you hear me? Raylyn, did you hear what I just said. Look at me. Do you hear me?”

              “My baby…” her tears seemed unstoppable.

              “Look at me, Raylyn. There are other tracks, looking more like tumbling, or something taking a roll farther down the other way. Come over here.” His arms had a hard time moving her. Her body wilted from the shock. “Look down there, Raylyn.” He pointed down the slope to a group of larger ferns, bending their large branches as protective arms over the white grounds.

              “Yes… I see. Trees.”

              “That’s right, those are trees. And do you see the pushed down snow leading right underneath them, see those tracks?”

              “Yeah…”

              “That must be Nova. She’s under there, that’s the edge of her blanket there. You see that dark patterned piece of fabric?”

              “It’s the blanket I wrap around us when I rock her to sleep at night.”

              “Yeah, you’re right.”

              “I need to go get her.” Her words made him pin her back hard against the trunk of the tree.

              “You are
not
going down there. I will. But you have to promise to stay here. We cannot have you tumbling down there as well, or get stuck in a trap. Do you understand?”

              “You have to get her, now.”

              “I will. Just stay here. And whatever you do, don’t watch… Sarah.”

              It wasn’t until then she’d noticed it. Across the ravine, the tall ridge was empty. The whiteness of the snow was simply white, no shades of gray mixed with it anymore. Then she saw them. They were no longer on the ridge, three gray furs stood farther down on a small cliff, balancing their weight as not to fall, as the largest one of the group slowly took step by step down the steep side. Nose high in the air, body low to the ground, and eyes set on the dark figure barely motionless on the bottom. Only the smallest sign of movement was visible through the thick snowflakes falling down as heavy feathers across the forest, hiding more and more of the grayness from the cliffs, each and every green fern tree turning white and quiet.

              She was waiting, not moving, as Jefferson had told her. If he fell, she didn’t want to watch it. When the wolves found Sarah, she knew she could never un-see and forget the scene. Waiting was all she was capable of. For the longest time, there was absolute nothing but complete silence. Tranquility, if you please. The snow had the ability to do that to the world, silencing it. Calm it down. Steal the energy from the world for just a little bit. Making you contemplate your decisions. Her mind seemed to drift, as she quietly watched more and more snowflake cover the fabric of her pants. Flake after flake landed and built a joining blanket across her thighs. Suddenly she heard something.

              “Help me up.” She threw herself out from underneath the branches of the tree and grabbed hold of her jacket sleeve. In the other, bundled up in the blanket she’d seen earlier, she heard small muffled cries against Jefferson’s chest.

              Before she could grab her from his arms, Jefferson pushed Raylyn to the side, shuffling them behind another tree. Hushing her with a finger.

              “Nova is fine, she needs to get warm, see a doctor.”

              “Give her to me. Now.” She motioned for him to let go.

              “Just make sure you keep her warm, open up your jacket, shelter her inside, close to your body. Give her body heat.”

              As he spoke her frozen hands shook off their gloves and pried open each of the buttons to her jacket. Then she held her, hugged her, felt her little ice-cold fingers grab onto her sweater in the warmth underneath the thickness of her jacket.

              “We need to get going. The wolves know Sarah is not the only one here anymore. Please, carry Nova tightly and let’s get back home. I’ve lost track how far away we are from your house. Please, Raylyn, stand up and let’s go.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

              The way back seemed shorter somehow. Maybe it was because she didn’t care so much how fast they were going, or even where they were heading. As long as Nova was this close to her nothing else really mattered.

              Eventually, when she started to feel the exhaustion creep upon her, when her boots were too wet and cold, and the adrenaline had left nothing but shivers within her, they saw it. The wall of the red barn, the top of the white house standing tall in the snow winds, and the lights from the vehicles parked around the property.

              She didn’t recall much. Hands and arms moved her in all directions, words motioned for answers, questions, directions. She followed the only hand around her back, guiding her where she needed to go. Jefferson’s. It got warm suddenly, and bright, the usually so clinically dressed stretcher seemed more welcoming than a king mattress at the Hilton’s in New York, and she knew what she was talking about. Her head melted into the pillow below her, and never did they take Nova away from her chest.