Burned Hearts (27 page)

“Ari, darling. You don't have to torture yourself by explaining the details. I know how devastating—”

“There's more,” I interjected, my lids flying open. “And really, I'm not going to draw this out and torment you. I'm just going to rip the Band-Aid off. Quickly. Anything I can do to spare you more agony.”

“Please, whatever it is, I'm dying to hear. Without you suffering any more than you currently are.”

We were both suffering. I saw it clearly, painfully.

Our gazes locked and all I could think was that if I were in her shoes I wouldn't want a lie to keep me from a relieving truth. A life-altering truth.

I took a deep breath.

“Ari,” she implored.

This was no easy revelation. But what choice did I have?

I gave her an unyielding look and blurted, “Dane's alive!”

 

chapter 14

I gasped.

Oh, crap.

This required such delicacy and I'd just opened my mouth and spewed!

Mikaela's smoky-accented eyes widened. Her jaw slacked. Then promptly shut. “Ari.”

“I know. I'm so sorry. I could have said that much more eloquently. Eased you into it. I panicked.” I stared helplessly at her. “It's just that … we invited you here tonight so that you'd hear it from us, not on some ten o'clock newscast when the rest of the world finds out Dane actually survived the explosion.”

“Survived the explosion.” She said this slowly, tentatively, speculatively. As though I might be crazy and she suddenly feared for her life. “Ari, is there anything else you'd like to tell me?”

“As in, am I on medication? A nut job?”

“That's not at all what I said.”

“Yet that's exactly what you're thinking. I'd feel the same if I were currently in your shoes.”

“Ari.”

“I know. It seems impossible. Implausible. Lunacy, even. I experienced the same shock at first, when I discovered the truth. But then again, this is Dane we're talking about. And Amano. He's alive, too. Amano saved Dane. He was really, really messed up and in a coma for a long time and I didn't know they'd both escaped; no one knew either one of them had survived and that played out well for Dane so that he could—oh, Christ. Just … Let me show you.”

I took a step toward her. She shrank back in her seat.

“I promise I would never,
never
lie about this to you or anyone else,” I insisted. “It's not something I've made up, Mikaela. And Dane can better explain it all. Just, please. Come with me into the great room. Let me show you,” I repeated.

She'd gone a bit pale. I saw a tremor run through her and her eyes glistened with the threat of tears.

It tore me apart. I knew her pain. I knew exactly how she felt.

Mikaela wanted to believe me. But it was so far beyond comprehension that it bordered on cruelty that I'd say something like this. Give her misguided hope or make light of a traumatic situation.

I understood completely. And that pained me even more.

“Mikaela. You of all people know that Dane's life has always been extraordinary and that with him you have to expect the unexpected. In this case, the unexpected has turned out to be cause for celebration. Don't you want to take a leap of faith and see him?”

“I—” Her mouth gaped the way Amsel's sometimes did, gulping in air or otherwise floundering, because no words verbalized.

“Please,” I said, balancing the baby in one arm and reaching the other toward her. “Believe me, you're going to be pleasantly surprised.” I offered a smile through my own tension, the tears that flooded my eyes. “It's another ball of wax when you actually see him in person.”

Several suspended seconds passed. She worked down a hard swallow. A few drops trickled over her high cheekbones. I wasn't even sure she noticed. Her gaze locked on me, and she apparently tried to discern how detrimental to her it might be if she accepted my reality—and it turned out to hold no validity.

Again, I could relate. I'd once been there myself.

“Mikaela.”

Finally, she placed a slender hand in mine. Got to her feet.

Still eyeing me with trepidation, she said, “Amsel is a gorgeous child.”

“With a gorgeous father. He was worse for the wear at first, but you know Dane. In what world would he ever be defeated?” Kyle and I had previously declared this, which had made it a bit easier to accept the fact that everything I'd believed to be true about Dane's death was actually false.

We left the study, Mikaela walking briskly beside me, though I could sense her reservation, her inner turmoil. This wouldn't be easy for her to reconcile, but once she saw Dane she could begin to fully process it all.

The hallway seemed longer than ever before, like it just might take forever to reach the great room and Dane. A heavy weight settled in my chest and my stomach continued to roil. As we finally approached the front of the house, I feared Mikaela might bolt.

I wouldn't blame her, since she probably still worried about my mental state. Perhaps wondered how dangerous me being off my rocker might be to her own life.

But her pace didn't speed up; rather, it slowed. She hung back a bit as we neared one of the oversized entryways into the great room.

Laughter wafted into the wide corridor, mingling with the music I'd turned on earlier. Mikaela spared a glance toward me. I smiled and nodded encouragingly.

She seemed to swallow down another lump of emotion. Then preceded me into the room.

I heard another gasp from her—this time a sharp, shocked one—as Dane stepped away from his conversation with Amano and Ethan to greet her.

A litany of what I presumed were Italian swearwords flew from her mouth and she swayed a little, so that I gripped her arm to steady her. Rosa rushed over to take the baby, saving me from a juggling act. Particularly helpful in the event Mikaela fainted. I didn't know if she was the sort, but there was just enough drama surrounding us that I wanted to be prepared for anything.

“This really can't be happening,” she said on a harsh whisper. “
How
could this happen?”

“I'll explain everything,” Dane assured her. “Just believe us that it was necessary to keep this all a—”

“Oh, my God! Dane!” The Italian accent vanished and Mikaela all but launched herself into his arms.

Thankfully, he had lightning-quick reflexes. He caught her soundly and held her while she burst into a crying jag I felt was wholly justified. So much so, it got me going a bit. Ethan handed over a handkerchief for me to blot my eyes. Even Rosa looked moved. That was saying something.

Eleanor came to my side and gave me a gentle squeeze about the shoulders. “I'm sure that wasn't an easy conversation to have.”

“I'm actually glad he doesn't have sisters,” I said in a raspy voice. “I'd never make it through.”

She laughed softly, soothingly. “Mikaela's a close second, so I'd say you did a fantastic job.”

Tamera joined us. “Really, Ari. You constantly amaze me with all this resiliency. You used to be the solver of wedding crises, and now look at you. Taking on all of these family obligations and strengthening the entire foundation you and Dane started building last fall. I'm so proud of you—and so in awe.”

As I gazed at her, I saw the emotion in her eyes. The admiration. Along with a hint of something elusive, forlorn. I knew Tamera didn't have relatives in the States, nor did she date often, given the limited availability of young, single men in our community. I almost felt her lonesomeness, and it shredded me as much as Mikaela's pain did.

I'd been right all along about not coming out of this insanity unscathed. We were all caught up in something too fragile and heinous to carefully extract ourselves from, but I had to find those silver linings Dane always credited me for latching on to.

And, in all honesty, I wasn't above admitting the vulnerabilities growing within me over how to strengthen my marriage and my bond with Dane.

I said to my friend, “I'd like to have a lengthy conversation with you in a few days. Once I've composed myself following all of this.”

Tamera eyed me curiously, then slowly nodded. “Of course, darling. This hasn't been an easy ride for you. Whatever I can do to help.”

I gave her a faint smile. “I could use a little perspective.”

Eleanor gave me another squeeze. “I'm happy to lend an ear as well.”

“I just might take you up on that.” I could use marital expertise in addition to moral support.

Mikaela collected herself and I moved to her side. Placed an arm around her narrow waist. “I really am sorry we had to keep this from you. Dane had important work to do that necessitated the lie, once he pulled through from the surgeries and coma.”

“Ari,” she said as she patted dry her cheeks with a tissue my husband supplied. “I would never doubt yours or Dane's intentions. In fact, I suppose I helped to perpetuate the lie by orchestrating his memorial service. So, in a roundabout way, I was involved to a small degree.”

That was a little more along the lines of what I expected from her. “Thanks for finding an upside.”

She gave me a quick hug, then said, “I'm happy for you. For both of you. That's all that really matters.”

“Well, there is one other thing,” I said.

“Oh, naturally,” she quipped, though her tone was a bit strained. “This is Dane's World we're all living in.”

“Indeed,” I concurred. “So he and I have discussed this, and I know we're springing a lot on you all at once, but it would be such an honor for us if you would consider being Amsel's godmother. I realize this is the first time you've met him and the circumstances are certainly unorthodox, but you've known Dane your whole life and so I thought—”

“Ari.” She beamed through her residual tears. “I'd love to be Amsel's godmother.”

“Really?” I gripped her hand. Perhaps a bit too tightly, though she didn't let on.

“Of course.” She smiled.

“Phew.” I sighed as the tension eased. “Thank you. We're so grateful.”

“No. Really, this is an honor for
me
.”

I was finally able to breathe normally. “We're so happy.”

Amano served cocktails to help break the ice, and a more relaxed atmosphere ensued, with the exception of Mikaela constantly shooting glances Dane's way, as though fearing she'd bought into a ghost story and he was no more than a figment of everyone's imagination. Hers included.

A half hour later, Tamera proceeded with the baptismal ceremony. Then Rosa served a stellar sit-down dinner on the patio. It was a beautiful evening. Nothing hindered the stars from twinkling like diamonds against the night sky. The heaters kept the autumn chill at bay. Dom flowed, the conversation was light and lively, and I was thrilled that we'd all come together again. That Mikaela was a new addition to our circle.

I knew the time we all spent together wouldn't be limited to rare occasions but would become more frequent.

I gazed at Dane, sitting to my right at the head of the table. He leaned over and kissed my cheek, then murmured, “I've told you before. You're everything.”

His intense, appreciative gaze chased away all of the consternation I'd been feeling. This evening had shaped up perfectly. We'd achieved everything we wanted and now were able to benefit from Dane's hard work—having our friends rally around us for a special cause.

Although Amsel had long since crashed out, this was a night I'd be sure to tell him about again and again. So that he'd know he was a part of something special, something significant.

I had no misconceptions that, in the back of Dane's mind, he wanted our son to be as powerful as him, to possibly be a member of an Illuminati faction that didn't go awry. I'd prefer that didn't happen, but if greatness was in Amsel's future who was I to squelch it? My job was to make sure he understood that whatever direction he took, it was a positive one that served a higher purpose than himself. Like his father's endless plights.

Dinner segued into decadent desserts and espresso, then more mingling. At one point, I went to check on Amsel, though Rosa had been keeping a close eye on him. As I left his nursery, I caught sight of Mikaela and Ethan in a secluded nook. They appeared engaged in a heated discussion, with her hands flapping agitatedly and him scowling.

Since I was ensconced in shadows, I knew they couldn't see me. I watched a few moments more, as whatever argument they were embroiled in seemed to escalate. Then, unexpectedly, Mikaela raised an arm and slapped Ethan quite soundly. The Joan Collins slap I'd anticipated as I'd awaited her arrival earlier in the evening.

I held my gasp in check, not wanting to draw attention to my presence.

Ethan's jaw clenched as he glared at her.

Mikaela slapped him again.

All I could think was that she must be pissed that Ethan had known Dane was alive—and hadn't told her. That might warrant the same reaction from me, given the circumstances.

I'd held Amano accountable to a degree, after all, when he'd kept the secret and I'd suffered for it.

I discreetly left the area and returned to the patio. The festivities wound down until it was just Kyle, Amano, Rosa, Dane, and myself loitering about.

Rosa excused herself to finish cleaning the kitchen. Then Amano and Kyle went about their surveillance work. Dane took my hand and guided me toward our bedroom. On our way, we stopped into the office to dim the lights and the fireplace.

As my gaze swept over the web still hanging on the wall, my consternation returned.

I told him about the Mikaela/Ethan encounter in the hallway.

He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants. He'd already discarded his jacket and tie. Had rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. He'd also undone a few buttons at his neck, giving me that tantalizing view of the pulse point at the base of his throat that always enticed me.