Burning Barriers (Barriers Series Book 3) (19 page)

“Jake… you can’t be serious. We were so good together. You remember.” Laurel sneers back. “I’ll give you so much more than she’ll ever give you in life.”

A laugh starts in my gut and echoes throughout the barn. “If you’re basing a future on one drunken night years ago, you’re more delusional than I thought. And let’s get one last thing out there. You will
never
be more than Lucy… in any way.” As I turn around slowly, I think of one last memory that I know will push the dagger right into her chest and end this once and for all. “Oh, and Laurel,
that
night I might have been drunk, but there wasn’t a single second when I was fucking you that I wasn’t thinking of Lucy. If you remember correctly, it wasn’t your name I was calling out. It’s always been Lucy’s.” I watch as her face turns completely dejected, and then I say my final words I’ll ever waste on her, “And, Laurel, one other thing and I’m sure my mother will have no problem backing me up on this decision… you’re fired. Pack up your shit in the office and don’t ever step foot on this ranch again.”

As I’m leaving, SJ sees me storming from the barn and heading for my truck. I can see the confusion written all over his face. As soon as he’s standing in front of me, he asks what is pissing me off so much, and the only thing I can do is yell in his face and call him a fucking coward for never having the balls to stand up to his family and leave that deceitful bitch standing in the barn doorway glaring at me.

All SJ can respond with is some comment about how I wouldn’t know how it is with their two families. That after everything I’ve gone through with Lucy years ago he is surprised I’m even giving Lucy the time of day since she’ll be leaving again eventually.

I don’t know if I am still reeling from my interactions with Laurel, or if there really is some truth in everything SJ has said, but my fist collides with his jaw seconds later. I know he didn’t mean anything negative toward Lucy. An underlying sense of jealousy has been there since we were teenagers. Lucy was always around me growing up, and SJ would get pissed when I’d leave him in the blink of an eye if Lucy ever needed me. More often than not, I’d leave SJ for her. I’m doing exactly the same thing now, but that’s just what Lucy does to me. I turn into a sappy puppy dog whenever I hear her voice or see her blue eyes staring back at me.

SJ staggers away from me, rubbing his hand over his jaw. He extends his other index finger to point at me. “I’m gonna let you get away with that one, Jake. But know this… life isn’t all fuckin’ rainbows and butterflies. We don’t all get to have what we want in life,” he spouts as he eyes Laurel who turns back into the barn in a huff as she sees both of us look in her direction. I know what SJ means. Those two are forced to put on smiling faces for family, but that’s not me. I have the chance to step up for once in my life and fight for the one I truly want.

SJ walks back to the barn, and just as he enters, I hear him and Laurel having a rather heated argument. I’m glad Mom is away from the ranch today on business.
There is absolutely no reason why she should have to witness any of this shit that Laurel tries to bring to the table.

Stepping back, I pull open my truck door and hop inside. As I pull away, I notice one missed text message from Luce telling me she is heading into town to see Ellen at Oliver’s. Thinking if Lucy is heading into town, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for me to swing by the firehouse to cool down before seeing her again. I check the clock on the dashboard and realize the guys should be starting dinner soon. I quickly send her a text telling her that I’ll meet up with her later since I’m going to swing by the fire station and help the guys cook dinner.

As I pull down the long dirt driveway with the ranch in my rearview mirror, I wonder how much will change after all this today. As much as I want to see Lucy right now, my mind needs to calm down. Being around my other family at the firehouse is just what I need at the moment.

As I walk into Oliver’s, I never expected to see a packed house of customers hanging out around the bar. Ellen is rushing around, grabbing clean glasses and pulling multiple tap handles while the other two bartenders cater to the opposite end of the bar. When Ellen’s eyes scan the bar, she notices me walking down the stairs and immediately smiles.

She points to an empty table beyond the bar with a
Reserved
sign placed on it. It was clearly a good thing I called her before I left Jake’s house earlier. After showering, I felt refreshed despite his letter. I need to finally make a decision about what to do with my future. At seeing the current state of the bar, I know Ellen won’t be of much help to me, and talking to my parents will only give me a one-sided answer, which will be for me to stay in Breckenridge.

As I park my ass onto the faux leather booth seat, I hear Ellen yell from the other side of the bar. “Luce, what can I get for you?” she asks, her voice straining to be louder than the boisterous happy hour patrons. Breckenridge has always been a place where people can be visitors or residents and mingle without ever meeting before. What the town lacks in population, it certainly doesn’t lack in atmosphere, and that’s probably one of the most enjoyable aspects of being home. I know that no matter the reason for being in town, these people are always willing to chat about anything.

I look up at Ellen and shrug my shoulders. I’ve managed to relax some more since I hopped into Jake’s shower, so my morning wine rush has certainly worn off, but the lingering anxiety still remains deep within the pit of my stomach. I shout over to her to bring me whatever she wants to make while I continue to contemplate my options. I love Jake more than I could ever possibly think I could, and he makes me feel as though I’m the most important thing in his life. But, after all this time apart, can true love
really
exist and last for us?

Pushing my arms out onto the table in front of me, I drop my head on top of them. I hear the sound of sneakers stopping next to me before I hear Ellen’s voice above me. “What’s going on with you?” she questions as she places a glass onto the table beside me. I sit up and drag my arms back with me as my head rises to glance up at her narrowed eyes. With her arms crossed over her chest, I see her turn her head as someone shouts her name from the other end of the bar. My eyes fall to the drink in front of me as I tilt my head in confusion.

“Ellen… what’s this concoction?” I spin the glass around on the table, giving the plastic stirrer a twirl before lifting my eyes to look at her.

“Well, since we both know what you and Jake did last night and knowing how loud you can be with him, I figured a Screaming Orgasm was the perfect drink for you.” Ellen laughs as she walks over to the vacant table beside us and grabs some empty beer bottles. As she wipes down the table with her rag, she glances back my way. I return my stare to my drink and continue to stir around the ice cubes. Hearing her mention Jake’s name makes me focus again on the situation at hand.

I watch as Ellen drops the empty bottles with the other bartender before walking back over to where I’m sitting. She plops her ass onto the booth seat across from me as I bring the straw up to my mouth. I take a long sip and cough at the amount of hard liquor in the glass. “Jesus, Ellen, what the fuck did you put in this thing?”

“Oh, you know… a little vodka, a little amaretto, and let’s not forget the Irish cream. But, enough about the drink. What the hell is going on with you? I figured you’d be on cloud nine by now after your night with Jake. So, spill the beans, Luloooooo… Luce… I said Luce.”

I continue to take a long sip from the glass until nearly all the drink is gone before setting the tumbler onto the table. I explain to Ellen how everything about last night was perfect and how Jake and I have something between us that is immeasurable. We love each other as though we never parted ways years ago, but I still have to figure out my shit back home with Sam and the girls. I may have healed myself here with the help of my family and Jake, but that doesn’t mean that everything I left behind would be fixed if I returned to that life.

Ellen drums her fingers against the wooden table. She remains silent as she listens to my ongoing saga of where I should continue after all of this.

“Have you talked to Jake at all? I mean, have you told him about your reservations about where to live? I know you know where
I
think you ought to live, but my opinion is biased. I’m your sister.”

“And what makes you think Jake’s opinion wouldn’t be the same as yours? He did ask me to stay here to be with him.”

“True story. So, you need a neutral party. Someone who might not give a damn if you stayed or left. What about SJ?”

“Really, Ellen? The guy is in a forced relationship with that bitch Laurel, and you think his opinion will be unbiased?”

“Good point. But, to be fair, I talked to him the other day, and he said Jake was happier since you came home, so that has to mean something, right?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, what about the guy that Jake hangs out with from the fire station? I see him in here sometimes. I think his name is Regan.”

My heart drops instantly, thinking about the fact that in the couple of weeks I’ve been back home I’ve never been by the station to see where Jake works. I always associated Jake with the ranch and was so preoccupied with everything else that happened in the past that discussing his career never seemed to ever come up. Even my own sister knows about the men who work alongside Jake. What does that say about me? I feel like such a tool for only thinking about us as a couple and never what Jake’s career means to him.

Suddenly, the entire bar grows louder, and I feel the level of self-loathing rising within my body. My face heats up, and I run my hand over my neck. The palm of my hand covers the nearly healed scar on my neck. I must have been so far off in my own thoughts about how ignorant I’ve been that I never heard my cell phone alert me of an incoming text. Ellen pulls my phone from the side pouch of my purse on the table and waves it in front of my face.

I shake my mind from thinking about how selfish I’ve been and grab the phone from Ellen’s hand as she bounces to get out of the booth. As she stands next to me, she runs her hands over my back to calm me. “Luce, I know it won’t be an easy decision, but trust me when I say, I believe you two truly have something special when you’re together. If in your heart you feel differently, then I’m not going to be the one to stop you from leaving. Jake will be the one to do that on his own.”

Ellen takes off to the bar again just as my eyes drift down to see the text message from Jake on my screen. Evidently, he is going to have dinner at the firehouse with the guys and will catch up with me later.

I figure now is as good a time as any to meet his other family. I know Jake isn’t working, but if I at least stop by to see him and introduce myself, that will make me feel slightly better about my selfishness. Grabbing my purse and empty glass, I walk over to the bar and slide the glass over to my sister who leans over to hear me as I try to speak over the crowd. She nods as she pours a few drinks, letting me know she heard me. My feet move quickly to the stairs and out the front door.

My car is parked at my parents’ house, but the fire station is located at the other end of the downtown strip. I can easily walk there since I opted to wear my Chucks instead of what my mother calls my ‘hooker heels’. Don’t get me wrong. I love my platform heels, but if I were to stay around this area instead of the East Coast, I’d be trading in those heels quickly. Around here, most girls are seen wearing cowgirl boots or trail shoes.

As I walk and think about all the pros and cons of staying and going, I’m still left at a dead heat. I don’t have a clear picture of what I want to do with my life. For every positive, there is a negative. I round the corner to where the fire station sits just beyond the police station. As I pass the Breckenridge Heritage Alliance, I see the bronzed statue displayed out front of the three old-timer cowboys sitting on a fence. Each of them is laughing and pointing in a different direction. I chuckle at the fact that it’s exactly how I feel right now. I honestly don’t know which way to go, and the amount of time for me to decide is rapidly running out.