Burning Down the House (25 page)

“Hey, girl. How was
your -”

“
Oh-my-God-oh-my-God-oh-my-
GOD!
” Her voice screeched in my ear, breathless with excitement.

“What
is it?”

“
You are never gonna believe this! Holy crap, I’m still in shock. Deep, cleansing breath…
whew
. Okay. So Staci just called me.”

“
Staci? What the heck did she want?”

“
Holy shit…are you ready for this? You are not gonna believe it, I’m telling you.”

“
WHAT?!
” I can’t stand it when she drags things out for the sake of being dramatic. We go through this charade every time she has important news.

“Okay
- you know how Riley wasn’t at school Tuesday and Wednesday?”

“Yeah…”

“I’ll give you three guesses why he wasn’t!”

“He got a DUI?” I speculated.

“Nope! Try again.”

“Um…I don’t know. Is he sick?”
No, that couldn’t be it. She wouldn’t be calling me freaking out just to tell me he had explosive diarrhea.

“No, but
somebody’s
sick!” she hinted. “That is, every now and then.”

“
Dana, would you just -”

“
Riley got Jordan pregnant!”

My
mouth fell open. “Jordan’s
pregnant?
Are you sure - how do you know?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rob’s head turn toward me when he overheard what I’d blurted.

“
Staci said Shelly Wright ran into Jordan at the movie theater this afternoon and she was in the bathroom puking. And then she starts crying and getting all emotional and stuff, telling Shelly how she’s four months preggo and has no idea what to do but she really wants to keep the baby. And that she doesn’t want to go back to school but her parents are making her. Oh, and Riley’s transferring to Cedar Grove.”

“
What?
Why?”

“
I don’t know, I guess to avoid all the gossip. I’m sure his parents will find a way to sugarcoat their little saint’s involvement in this. I have a feeling Jordan’s going to be left holding the bag. That guy is such a scuzzbucket! He needs to be castrated…”

“So…wait, let me get this straight.
He isn’t even going to accept responsibility for what he did?”

“
Doesn’t sound that way. Not if he’s switching schools. Staci made it sound like he was totally brushing her off.”

“
Are you sure it’s even his baby?”

“I’m pretty sure
Staci said Jordan told Shelly he was the father.”

“
Well, jeez - no wonder she’s been acting the way she has! Un-be-
liev
-able.” Her spontaneous meltdown at school made perfect sense now. Not to mention her contempt for the male species in general. I couldn’t believe she was drinking tequila at Colin’s party if she knew she was pregnant. That couldn’t be good for the baby. “So what is Staci doing - calling everyone in town to spread the word?”

“Probably. You know she’s loving this.”

“That’s just wrong.”

“I haven’t told anyone
else other than you. But I don’t even think it matters. By Monday the whole school will have a detailed analysis, if her phone battery doesn’t die first. You’d think she’d just send out a mass text. Seriously, I’m surprised she isn’t driving through town announcing it over a loudspeaker.”

“What a bitch
! God, she makes me sick.”

“I know. Aren’t you glad you never went out with
Riley now?”

“I was always glad of that. I can’t believe his parents are letting him
dodge this.”

“
Letting
him - from what I understand, they’re
encouraging
him!”

“If she has any sense she’ll sue him for child support.”

“For sure. If this isn’t a wakeup call not to forget my pill, I don’t know what is.”

“She
actually wants to raise the baby all by herself?”

“That’s what she told
Shelly.”

“Oh, man,” I
exhaled, shaking my head. Babies might be cute for a little while, but I couldn’t imagine being permanently responsible for one. A few hours with Peyton, sweet as she is, were more than enough to cure me of any imminent mommy fantasies. “I wonder if she has any idea what she’s in for.”

“Better her than me, is all I’m sayin’. A little brother is bad enough.
Can you imagine - all those months of morning sickness and being fat and then two years or however many it is of changing loaded diapers? Yeah - who wouldn’t want
that
when they’re trying to graduate high school! Not to mention college. The last thing I need is a baby screaming in my ear while I’m cramming for a final.”

“No kidding…”

“So, anyway. I just thought I’d let you know. Don’t be surprised if Staci calls you.”

“How would she get my number?”

“Um…good point. She only had mine because we were both on the homecoming committee. Oh, by the way, did you have a good turkey day?”

“Yeah, it was nice. How about you?”

“The usual. Ate too much, complained for an hour or so about how I was gonna hurl, then went and had some pie.”

“Sounds like
us,” I laughed.

“Speaking of
pie…I can hear Tyler messing around in the kitchen right now. I gotta run before he cleans out all the leftovers. I swear, he’s like a freakin’ vacuum cleaner.”

“Okay
. Talk to you later.”

I looked up to see
Rob still appraising me with a curious expression. “Jordan’s pregnant?”

“Apparently
. And Riley, like the dirtbag he is, is switching schools to avoid the situation.”

This caught my dad’s attention. “You
don’t mean the quarterback?”

“That’s the one,” I confirmed.

“That Murphy kid knocked up some girl?”

“
Yep. The homecoming queen, to be exact.”

“
I’ll be damned.” Shaking his head, Dad returned his attention to the television.

Rob
looked puzzled. “I didn’t think they were even seeing each other anymore.”

“I guess they were
still seeing each other four months ago. According to Dana, that’s how far along she is.”

“
Huh.” In the dim light of the living room, I could just make out the slight upward tug of one corner of his mouth. “Told you that guy was a dick.”

21

The whole school
was buzzing with discreet whispers about Jordan on Monday. But to everyone’s credit - except maybe Staci - the students all went out of their way to be extra nice to her. I guess, like me, they felt empathy for the poor girl who’d been royally screwed in every sense of the word.

It was during
calculus that she caught me sneaking a look at her belly. Mr. Weston had abandoned his post to go take a wizz and of course everyone was gabbing and goofing off instead of working on our assignment. My eyes idly strayed from the paper in front of me to search out any physical evidence of her condition. When she looked straight at me I quickly averted my gaze, embarrassed that she’d caught me checking her out. I wanted to bang my head against the wall when she got up and strolled over to my desk, balancing her rear end on the edge beside my open book. Once again she smelled like watermelon, and it occurred to me that it wasn’t Jolly Ranchers candy but the scented lotion she used. It smelled nice.

“I’m not showing yet. Not enough to tell, anyway.” She
gave me a smile, and I heaved a sigh of relief that she seemed to be more herself today.

“
Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.”

“It’s okay.
Actually, I should be apologizing to you. I know I’ve been kind of a moody bitch lately. I blame it on the jacked up hormones. That, plus I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“Forget it. Totally understandable.”

“No…it’s not. You always tried to be nice to me. Even when I was acting a little wonky. It’s just - it’s been a tough year for me, you know?”

“I know,” I sympathized.
“Hey, if there’s anything I can do to help…”

“Thanks, but it’s not necessary. E
verything’s gonna turn out okay. I believe this little lamb’s daddy will step up and do the right thing. He loves us. I have complete faith that he’ll come through for us in the end.”

“I’m sure he will. He
’s probably just a little scared right now.” I meant to bolster her confidence, but the false reassurance rang hollow. Sure, it would be nice if I could credit Riley with the integrity to man up, but honestly, I just didn’t have the faith in him that she seemed to. Hopefully they would both prove me wrong. Still, I couldn’t help believing that ultimately she was fooling herself.

“Once he gets used to the idea, he’ll see that he and I were
destined to be together. We always were. He just has to find a way to let go of his baggage first.”

Wow.
The girl wasn’t merely an optimist - she bordered on delusional. What baggage was she even referring to? His disapproving parents? Because as far as I knew, he hadn’t been seeing anyone else.

“I’m supposed to have an ultrasound in two weeks.
Find out whether it’s a girl or boy. I kinda hope it’s a boy.” She instinctively covered her abdomen with a protective hand. “I’d really like a little boy. One who looks just like his daddy.”

Figuring I might as well play along, I
tentatively asked, “Do you think Riley is hoping for a boy, too?”

Uneasiness
pricked its way up my spine when her green eyes settled on some random spot in the distance with an intense stare. The same exact look from that night at Savage River. “Oh, Sara. You still don’t get it, do you?”

“What is it I’m supposed to be getting?”

“Open your eyes. Look around you.
Listen
.”

“Listen to what?”
Could I never have a rational conversation with this girl?

“You still haven’t heard it?
Love is a rebellious bird that none can tame…”

Thankfully the door to the classroom opened
then and Mr. Weston returned to rescue me. Jordan ambled back to her own seat, surprisingly without getting reprimanded for being up wandering around. Apparently even the teachers were already aware of her condition and were cutting her some slack out of pity. The only person I was starting to pity was that poor baby who was stuck with a loon for a mother.

As expected
, her pregnancy was the hot topic of conversation at the lunch table, with Colin and Doug cracking lewd jokes and Dana pinching Trent whenever he attempted a snarky remark. She had him so whipped you could practically hear the crack. It was hilarious to witness.

Colin
: Hey, anybody know what Jordan has in common with a busted balloon? Sara?

Me
: Oh, don’t even…

Colin
: One prick and it was all over!

Dana
: That’s not even funny. Why would you think that’s funny? You’re an idiot.

Doug
: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? Anyone? You can’t unscrew a light bulb!

Dana
: It’s ‘you CAN unscrew a light bulb’, genius.

Colin
: He shoulda wrapped it in foil before checking her oil!

Me
: You guys are
so
not right.

Trent
: Anyone else find it ironic that her last name is - OW! What’d you pinch me for, woman?

Dana
: Behave yourself!

Colin
: Ol’ Riley shouldn’t have kept his Trojans stuck to the headboard with a thumbtack.

Doug
: Why not?

Rob
: Dude...really?

Me
: He was kidding, Dougie. It was a joke.

Doug
: Oh. Yeah, but I don’t - oh, wait. I get it. ’Cause the thumbtack would put a hole in ’em, right?

Trent
: Man, sometimes I worry about you.

Dana
: Too bad it couldn’t have been Staci. Now
that
would have been funny.

Colin
: No hell, it wouldn’t!

Trent
: Guess we can rule out Jordan for prom queen this - would you stop pinching me! Anyone else see me getting assaulted over here?

Dana
: I told you to behave. Would you be making jokes if it was me?

Trent
: All right, all right. I’m sorry, Pookie...

Doug
: Any of you talk to Riley since he left?

Trent
: Wait - what do you mean, if it was you?

Dana
: It was a theoretical question, Honey Bear. Don’t get your panties in a wad.

Colin
: I tried calling him a time or two but it just goes straight to his voicemail.

Me
: Trent, what was that you just called Dana?
Pookie?

Trent
: Shut up.

Dana
: He calls me Pookie all the time. You should hear what else he calls me.

Me
: Oh, please - you gotta share with us!

Dana
: Sometimes it’s Snuggle Muffin…

Trent
: Woman, do not make me duct tape that mouth shut.

Dana
: Once he called me Little Bunny Boo Boo.

Me
: Oh, I like that one. Very original.

Trent
: Okay then - so what does Rob call you? Since we’re sharing here.

Rob
: (winking at me) I call her…Poopsy Doodle Cuddle Pie!

Colin
: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Me
: (playing along) And he’s my Schmoopie Woopie Sugar Tushie!

Trent
: You know, for some unknown reason I no longer want my lunch. My appetite just flew straight out the window.

Dana
: Actually, I’m starting to feel a little nauseous myself.

Me
: You guys started this.

Doug
: I got one. Jelly Biscuit!

Colin
: (facepalming) Dude. No. Just…no.

Dana
: Is that what Melanie calls you?

Doug
: No. Why would she call me that?

Trent
: Holy shit, Price. Has your mother ever had you tested?

Doug
: Tested for what?

Me
: (patting his hand) It’s okay, Jelly Biscuit. Don’t pay him any attention.

Rob
: Yeah. He’s just mad ’cause Dana’s real pet name for him is Inchworm.

Trent
: (copping an effeminate voice) Now Robbiekins, I thought that was
your
special name for me!

Rob
: It was, but I’m afraid you just can’t satisfy me the way Doug can. Sorry to break it to you, stubby.

Doug
: Hey now, don’t drag me into your nasty butt pirate fantasies!

Colin
: Which one of you ass spelunkers wants to give me a ride home today? My truck’s in the shop.

Trent
: Again? Didn’t you just have it in the shop a few weeks ago?

Colin
: Uh-huh. Piece of shit radiator’s busted. Every time I turn around it’s somethin’ else.

Trent
: Sucks, man. Yeah, I can give you a ride.

Colin
: A’ight. Meet you in the parking lot. Inchworm.

Our
Temple University loaners were at the studio warming up when Rob dropped me off at ballet practice that afternoon. After changing quickly, I joined them at the barre where Miss Andrews introduced me to my partner. Erik Shay was a tall, sinewy blond who put me right at ease with his quirky sense of humor. He was one of those extroverted types that you spend five minutes with and feel you’ve known forever. More importantly, he was infinitely patient with me. We started off working on the promenades.

I was
glad to have been paired up with Erik instead of Gregory, the other dance major. He was assuming the role of Prince Coqueluche and it was soon clear that he was nothing short of an egotistical diva. Gregory - not Greg, because he threw a little bitch fit if you called him that - was exotically handsome and a flawless dancer, I’ll give him that, but he was also a major dick. He spent his time constantly berating René, the principal ballerina who was partnered with him as the Sugar Plum Fairy. She was almost reduced to tears by all his surly criticism. If I were her, I’d have “accidentally” kicked him in the goods with my toe shoe. Hard.

“And,
sous-sus…arabesque…hold…very nice! Keep your eyes up, sweetheart, don’t look at the floor while we turn. It’ll throw off your balance.” Hearing squabbling coming from Sugar Plum and her Cavalier, we paused to see what was going on at the other end of the studio. Miss Andrews had a hand pressed to her forehead and was listening to Gregory rant while poor René tried to get a word in edgewise.

“Is he always so pleasant?” I
quipped.

“Actually, I believe he’s in a
good
mood today.” Erik wiggled his eyebrows comically. “Let’s try some assisted pirouettes. We’ll start with three. Watch those elbows so you don’t bump into my arms.”

By the end of class, we were doing well enough that he suggested we move
on to the lifts. “We’ll start with a basic shoulder sit. Remember to keep a tight core and try not to lean forward. Also, don’t attempt to shift your weight once you’re in position. Ready? Nice demi-plié…and up!” He lifted me effortlessly onto his shoulder and I tried valiantly not to wobble.