Authors: Gilly MacMillan
While Emma stepped out to take the call from Rachel Jenner, the rest of the team murmured quietly. The biscuit tin had been emptied. Energy drinks were scattered around the table and people were rubbing gritty eyes. Bennett tried to cover up a monstrously large yawn with his case papers. We were all battling our ebbing energy levels and trying not to be disheartened by lack of progress.
Fraser summarised: ‘There’s two trains of thought here, a twin-track approach: family or non-family. Bear that in mind, please, everybody, as we go forward. The MOs are significantly different for each.’
She was interrupted by Emma returning. ‘That was the sister,’ Emma said. ‘They’re frightened. There’s been some abusive graffiti on the wall behind the house.’
Fraser swallowed an expletive. ‘That is
not
what we need,’ she said once she’d got her vocabulary under control. ‘How’s the mother?’
‘She’s very upset apparently,’ said Emma. ‘As you would be. And frightened.’
Fraser sighed. ‘We should respond to that. The only problem is that if we station somebody at the house, we’ll need one out front and one out back.’
DS Martyn shook his head. ‘We can’t commit budget to that at this stage. Once you’ve got protection there, how do you take it away? What if this lad isn’t found? We’d need the threat to escalate to justify it.’
Fraser made a note. ‘I’ll ask uniform if they can drive by throughout the night, and check out the back alleyway too, when they’re there. It’ll help if we’re seen to take some action at least. The family need to know we’re supporting them.’
‘Have they asked for protection?’ Martyn again.
‘No,’ said Fraser. ‘But I think it pays to pre-empt these things. If we take it seriously now we might head off a situation where they panic.’
Martyn nodded, approving. Fraser’s solution was neat and free. I wondered if he actually kept the department budget spreadsheets constantly running across the front of his eyeballs.
‘Did they say what the graffiti said?’ Fraser asked.
‘It says “bad mother”,’ said Emma.
‘Christ,’ said Fraser.
‘I’m not surprised,’ said Emma.
Fraser’s head snapped up. ‘And what exactly do you mean by that?’
Emma flushed deeply. ‘Sorry, I only meant that I’m not surprised because there’s been such a backlash against her. That’s all, boss. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything.’
‘OK then,’ said Fraser. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’
She shot an assessing look at Emma before moving on, and I saw Bennett’s fat lips form into a sneaky smirk, which I could have throttled him for.
‘Which brings me to the next thing, because I think it would be wise to inform the family of this in person too.’
The next thing was a big disappointment to everybody. Forensics had reported that they’d found nothing of interest on the items of Ben’s clothing that were discovered in the woods. Fraser felt it would be a good idea to send somebody to break the news to the family in person. With a glance at her watch, she sent Emma back out to Rachel Jenner’s house.
‘Better go now before it gets too late. It won’t do their nerves any good if we go banging on their door in the middle of the night. You can take a look at the graffiti too, while you’re there. Jim can update you on anything else we cover tonight.’
I nodded, kept my eyes on my own notepad.
‘And, Emma,’ Fraser added.
‘Yes, boss.’
‘Keep up the good work. Your role is to observe, but also to support the family, so remember to be careful what you say.’
‘Got it, boss. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to—’
‘I understand,’ Fraser cut her off. ‘Go on, get out of here now.’
As she left I noticed that Emma’s cheeks were still flushed.
There wasn’t much else. We discussed re-interviewing the parents but decided to hold on that for a day. In spite of everything, Fraser was still working up a head of steam about Edward Fount. She wanted further background checks on him, and she ordered actions galore: our team of DCs was tasked with talking to anyone that they could dig up who was associated with him.
When all was done, Martyn reared up out of his seat and gave us a short speech about teamwork and dedication and how important this case was and how the eyes of the nation were on us, and then put on his cap and left to attend the event for the great and the good at the Marriott.
One by one the team left the room, packing up papers wearily, some just moving a few yards to their desks, planning to burn the midnight oil. We were at that stage in a case where it’s taken over: it’s exhausting, it’s addictive, and you can’t get enough of it. Your nerves are frayed and you’re running on adrenalin and caffeine. It’s hard to do anything normal because the case is always in your thoughts. It’s like a drug.
Fraser and I were the last to leave. She looked tired, and thoughtful.
‘You OK, boss?’ I said.
‘I’m OK,’ she said. ‘Go home, Jim. Get some sleep.’
Zhang arrived after Nicky and Laura had come back in, knuckles red and swollen from scrubbing.
She was there to break it to us gently that the forensic tests on Ben’s clothing hadn’t turned up anything. It meant that they couldn’t get any specific leads from the clothing, she said, but they were still pursuing lots of ‘interesting avenues’.
‘What are those?’ asked Laura.
‘I can’t tell you any more than that I’m afraid,’ Zhang said. She took my hand. ‘But know that we’re doing everything we possibly can. Don’t lose heart.’
She turned her attention to Laura. ‘I heard today that you’re a journalist.’
‘I am.’ Laura wasn’t afraid to look directly at her, but she twisted a bracelet on her wrist, a black silk band with a small jade rose on it. ‘Why do you mention it?’
‘I wondered if that puts you in a difficult position professionally. Being at the heart of things here.’
‘I write gossip,’ said Laura. ‘Who turned out to the launch of a new lipstick at Harvey Nichols, that kind of thing. It’s a different world.’
‘Oh,’ said Zhang. She paused before asking, ‘Do you get lots of freebies?’
The tension in the room dissolved just a bit and Laura softened. ‘It’s a perk – definitely. Though I sometimes wonder what I’m going to do with six jars of black nail polish.’
‘Donate it to my daughters,’ said Nicky. ‘They seem to enjoy anything that’s in incredibly bad taste.’
After that the silence was a bit awkward. Zhang started to excuse herself, she wanted to check the alley, but Nicky insisted that she have a cup of tea. Nicky was desperate to share the plans she was hatching.
‘I think we need a vigil,’ she said, ‘if he’s not found by next week. It’s what they do in America. It keeps public awareness up.’
Desperate not to leave any stone unturned, Nicky had been in email contact with somebody who worked for the Missing Kids website in the States, taking advice on what we could do.
Zhang took a sip of her tea. Her mug was one that Ben had decorated in one of those pottery places when he was very little. Covered in splotches of blue, in different hues, it was apparently supposed to be a sea scene. He’d been very proud of it when he made it, although now that he was a bit older he was embarrassed by it. ‘It’s babyish,’ he’d said, the last time I used it.
‘I’m not putting it away, Ben,’ I’d replied. ‘I love it.’
‘You can obviously do what you want, but I’d be very careful about a vigil,’ said Zhang. ‘The press can be a law unto themselves. You don’t know how they’ll react, and we mustn’t compromise the investigation.’
‘What would be very useful then,’ said Nicky, ‘is if we could arrange a proper meeting with the police, with yourselves, to discuss some of these things together, agree on a proper course of action. We don’t want to do anything that would affect the investigation, but there must be something we could do to help.’
‘I’ll ask,’ said Zhang. ‘I promise I’ll ask. But be warned, everybody’s already working all hours on the investigation, so manage your expectations and for now it’s best to keep channelling your questions through me.’
Before she left, she went out the back to see where the graffiti had been. She stood in the glare of my neighbour’s security light and looked at the newly scrubbed fence, where the words had gone but an orange wash remained. It struck me what a neat person she was. Alongside her warmth, she had a reserve about her and a sort of economy of both speech and dress that both impressed me and slightly intimidated me.
‘I’m going to check out the rest of the alley before I go,’ she said. ‘We’ll speak tomorrow.’
In both directions the alley stretched out into darkness. We could hear scuffling behind the fence as something took cover. Further away the wind was making somebody’s back gate creak and bang.
‘Go back inside,’ she said to me. ‘Stay safe.’
I did go home, but the flat felt hollow and cold, and I was unsettled. I called Emma.
‘Where are you?’ I said when she answered.
‘I’m in the alleyway behind Rachel Jenner’s house.’
‘And?’
‘Well, they’ve washed most of the paint off, but you can see where the words were written in massive letters.’
‘How are the family?’
‘Rachel’s not good, she’s really fearful. Looks ill actually. Nicky’s holding the fort, she’s tough that one, proactive, I like her, and they’ve got Rachel’s friend Laura with them.’
‘Are you going back in with them?’
‘I don’t think I need to. They’re coping for now. I’m cold, Jim, I need to get going.’
‘Are you coming round?’
‘I’ve got to go and see John Finch, tell him about the forensics.’
‘Afterwards?’
‘I’m so tired. I might just go to mine.’
‘Please, Em. I missed you last night.’
She didn’t answer right away. The line went bad as the wind whistled into her handset and it was hard to hear her when she said, ‘Are you sure it’s a good idea, now I’m working for you?’
‘With me, not for me, and it doesn’t have to make a difference, of course it doesn’t. Please, come round tonight.’
‘I’ll come round after I’ve seen John Finch but I’m warning you I won’t be good for much.’
‘Are you OK?’
‘I hope I’m the right person for this job.’
‘Of course you are. Of course! Don’t start getting wound up because of what you said at the meeting. Fraser knows you didn’t mean it.’
‘The way she looked at me…’
‘Honestly, don’t worry about it. Don’t. She’ll have forgotten about it by now. I promise you. You are the right person for this job. You’re tired tonight, that’s why it all feels bad. Just remember why you’re doing it: it’s for the boy. Emma? Are you there?’
‘Yeah. I heard you. It’s for the boy.’
‘Are you coming round?’
‘I’ll see you in about an hour. Don’t wait up.’
After we spoke I turned on all the lights in the flat and put the heating up. Then I went to the shop round the corner and got supplies for breakfast, and a Mars Bar, because Emma liked chocolate. I made a coffee and waited for her to arrive. I couldn’t wait to see her, but I wanted her to be her normal self. I wanted her to tease me, take me out of myself, and make me forget work for a while. I wanted to hold her.
When I got back inside Nicky held the phone out to me. ‘It’s John.’
‘The nursing home rang,’ he said. ‘My mother’s distressed because you didn’t bring Ben to visit her today.’
‘Oh God.’
I’d forgotten about Ruth. Ben and I made a regular weekly visit to see her in her nursing home. Spending time with her grandson was one of the only things she looked forward to.
‘Does she know?’ I asked.
‘No.’ His voice was quiet. ‘I’ve asked them to keep her away from the media.’
I knew it would be easy to keep Ruth away from the TV – she didn’t have a television in her room, and she was fiercely dismissive of the communal areas of the nursing home, keeping to her own room mostly. She loved to listen to Radio 3, though, and I wondered how they were managing that. She’d be desolate without it.
John was one step ahead of me. He said, ‘They’ve told her that her radio’s broken, and Katrina dropped off some CDs for her, and a player. It should keep her going for a while.’
‘You’ll have to go and see her,’ I said.
‘I can’t see her.’ This said so quietly that I could hardly hear him.
‘Well, one of us has to go. We don’t have to tell her.’
I wanted it to be him that went. I didn’t want to have to look into Ruth’s eyes and lie to her about Ben, but to tell her would break her heart.
‘No. Don’t ask me to,’ he said. ‘I can’t.’
‘John!’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, and he hung up. I stood there with the phone in my hand, incredulous.
‘How does he think I can deal with this any better than him?’ I said.
‘I’m not sure he’s coping,’ said Nicky.
‘Nobody’s coping,’ I said.
‘He’s really on the edge.’
‘We’re all
on the edge
.’
‘Don’t argue.’ Laura tried to be peacekeeper.
‘I just don’t see why everybody has to be so worried about John.’
‘We ought to be thinking of him,’ said Nicky. ‘It’s not just you who’s affected by this.’
‘Oh and it’s so hard for you with your perfect husband and perfect daughters safe in their perfect home?’
Nicky gasped. ‘That’s just not fair.’
She got up and left the room. I’d gone too far.
‘She didn’t deserve that,’ said Laura.
‘I know.’
‘She’s trying to help.’
I knew I should apologise to Nicky, but I couldn’t bring myself to. She came back down soon afterwards, eyes red, but face composed.
‘Rachel, I know this feels unbearable, but we’re all on your side, and there are even people out there who are on your side too. The stuff online, it’s not all bad. People are out there searching for Ben. People we don’t know.’
‘They’re organising themselves online,’ said Laura. ‘Using social media.’
‘And the police are going to meet with us,’ said Nicky. ‘Don’t forget what Zhang said earlier. We’ll be working
with them
to find Ben. It’ll give us the best chance.’
She held my hand and squeezed it gently, but all I could think of was those people out there who hid behind online nicknames, or anonymous blogs, or found safety in numbers on the payroll of newspapers. I thought about how they’d started hunting me from the moment I went off-message at the press conference and I felt preyed upon. Just like my son.