Butterfly (30 page)

“I thought we were going to be able to have some fun.”

“Welcome to the world of modeling, dear,” Ms. Alicia said.

“Is it going to be like this all the time?”

“No, it's going to get worse.”

“Worse? I may be in the wrong business then.”

“You may be. And before a lot of people invest a lot of time and money into you, you need to be sure that this is something you want to do, Butterfly.”

“I'm sure.”

“Hey, wait a minute, come here.” Ms. Alicia sat me down and then sat next to me. “I don't want you to think you have to do this for me. I want you to do this for yourself, baby. This is a very strenuous, strenuous job. There is a lot of traveling with long, long days. You have to be disciplined in your diet, which sometimes lead to eating disorders.

“There is an underworld of drug addiction and sex slavery. Everybody wants something from you, and they will make you seem like you're the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel.
And by the time you're twenty-five years old, those same people will turn their backs on you and your career will be over.

“But sweetheart, this business is also like any other thing in life. There's good, there's bad, and then there are the choices you make. If you stay focus on your career and not allow yourself to be caught up in the extracurricular activities surrounding it, it could be a rewarding lifetime experience, filled with excitement, adventure and international culture. Not to mention it pays out the gazoo!”

“And just how much is a gazoo?” I joked. “I don't know what being a model entails, but I know that I'm prepared for whatever lies ahead. And it's not about the glamour, or the fame. Like everything else in my life, it's about the challenge. I've never been referred to as beautiful before and it's difficult for me to accept. The challenge is not to prove to the world how beautiful I am, but to myself.”

“I want you to think about this and make up your mind quickly because if we go further, Butterfly, these people will be very upset if you quit on them.”

“Believe me, I won't quit. I'm ready! I want this! And I want this for me!”

“Okay, baby.”

Auntie Pam walked out of the bathroom and Ms. Alicia quickly took her place. I took advantage of the opportunity of being alone with Auntie Pam and asked her about my dad.

“I know you may be upset for what my dad did, but he really is a good man who has made some unfortunate bad decisions.”

“I'm not upset with your dad, Butterfly.”

“It's obvious you guys didn't have a great relationship, but I would still like to know what it was like when you two were together.”

“I have moved on from that period in my life, Butterfly.”

“Please?”

“Okay,” Auntie Pam said, “At times, your dad and I had a very volatile relationship. But that was only when we were mad at each other. Most of the time we laughed, had fun; we were like best friends.”

“Did you love each other?”

“Yes, I think we did. I know that I loved him. We were young at the time and we really didn't know how to deal with our issues, especially parenthood. I had a career objective, and your dad was just about living for the day. We didn't know how to compromise and it got ugly.”

“So, are there any sparks flying, Auntie Pam?”

“I don't think so, sweetheart. What your dad and I had was a long, long time ago.”

“He still cares about you.”

“And how do you know this?”

“Because I know my dad.”

“I think I need a little more evidence than that.”

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Well, my dad is single, and you're single, soooooo...?”

“So, stop trying to be a matchmaker and we'll see what happens.”

“That's cool with me; for right now anyway.”

“You are your father's child.”

“Auntie Pam?”

“Yes?”

“Do you remember the first day we met?”

“Sure do.”

“When my mom introduced us, we both said to each other that we looked familiar. Do you remember that?”

“Yes, and I guess now we know why.”

“Do you think that I could have remembered you from that early age?”

“Stranger things have happened.”

“I guess some things just can't be explained.” I smiled and then went back to my room.

T
he limo was scheduled to pick us up and take us to the studio at noon, so we only had time to shower, get dressed, and grab a quick bite to eat. When we pulled onto the studio's lot, we were greeted by a security officer in a booth. Ms. Alicia gave him our names and we were allowed on the grounds. He directed us to Studio B where they shot
America the Beautiful.
The studio property was much larger than it appeared from the street. I was in awe.

Ms. Erin met us in the studio's lobby. She showed me how to sign in and from there, it was like enrolling in a new school all over again. There were like a hundred girls scrambling from room to room answering questions and filling out forms. I had two interviews about my modeling background. Ms. Erin answered most of the questions. After my third interview, we had another meeting where I was officially welcomed to
America the Beautiful: Season Five.

They explained the premise of the show in full detail. There would be twenty girls living in one house together for six weeks. The show was going to record our modeling competition as well as our daily activities behind the scenes. The winner would get a modeling contract, $100,000 and a Cadillac Escalade. I really did not need the money or the Escalade, but I was not going to turn them down, either. We were scheduled to film for six weeks during
the summer. Each week would be an elimination round until there were two remaining finalists. The final episode would air live with the announcement of the winner of
America the Beautiful: Season Five.

I had to sign contracts about the confidentiality and integrity of the show. If we were eliminated, or even if we were among the two finalists, we were legally bound not to discuss any of the details of the show prior to the announcement of the winner.

Ms. Alicia was by my side through every meeting. I was proud that she was able to control her emotions and not directly get involved while the staff was talking to me. You can bet, though, she did not hesitate to advise me right there on the spot when she felt it was absolutely necessary. Auntie Pam, Auntie Cynthia and Bri watched and sat from afar.

By the time we were finished with my first day, it was after nine o'clock. Ms. Erin treated all of us to a late dinner, and she and Ms. Alicia had a great time telling their old college stories. She was an AKA like Ms. Alicia. I never knew that Auntie Pam was a Delta Sigma Theta, or that Auntie Cynthia was a Zeta Phi Beta until that night. Auntie Pam and Auntie Cynthia never talked being in a sorority, but Ms. Alicia constantly bragged about being an AKA. To be honest, I did not know the difference between a fraternity or a sorority until Ms. Alicia explained it to me my senior year.

The four of them lobbied for Bri and me to join their respective sororities when we went to college. I did not lean toward either one of them, but knowing me, I would not join any sorority at all. I loved my family and friends, but as far as the adolescent camaraderie of college unity, I could do without that.

We got back to our hotel room around eleven-thirty that night, which was two-thirty in the morning our time. Everybody took their clothes off and went straight to sleep. We had to get up at
six in the morning to be ready for our limo at eight. Auntie Cynthia, Auntie Pam and Bri had had enough of the modeling life. They slept in, and planned a trip to Disneyland first, and then they were going to go to Hollywood to see the Walk of Fame and take their picture in front of the big Hollywood sign. That Hollywood sign thing was all Bri's idea. They wanted to take a celebrity tour bus to see the celebrity homes, too, but there were only so many hours in a day. Our plane did not leave until ten Sunday night, so they scheduled a tour for the afternoon.

While they were having fun, I was being told to sit like this, sit like that, walk faster, walk slower, smile, don't smile, stick your ass out, stick your ass in. What bothered me the most was when I kept hearing, “Nibble on this for right now, and you can eat when we are finished.”

Around seven o'clock, they gave me a break. I sat in a high chair and reached for a bottle of water.

“Here.” Ms. Alicia handed me a sandwich.

“Oh my goodness, thank you, Mom!” I bit into that sandwich like a starved savage. “I am so hungry I could eat a bear!”

“Not so fast, girl, you're going to choke.”

“I don't care. I'm hungry.”

“So how do you feel?”

“I'm sleepy.”

“Is this too much for you?”

“Are you kidding me? This is nothing. I'm ready for some more.” I finished my sandwich and then jumped out of my chair.

“Look at you.” Ms. Alicia smiled. “That's my tiger! But save some of that energy for tomorrow, sweetheart.”

“Oh thank goodness, I'm about to pass out!” I slumped down in the chair and kicked my legs out.

“Get your butt up.” Ms. Alicia laughed.

“I can't!”

“Let's go, your carriage awaits.” Ms. Alicia pulled me out of the chair.

I grabbed my duffle bag and stumbled outside to the limo. I stretched out on one of the seats and put my head in Ms. Alicia's lap. When I woke up, we were in front of our hotel. I hobbled to my room and lay across my bed.

“Don't you want to catch up with our posse?” Ms. Alicia joked.

“No ma'am.” I mumbled with my face stuffed in my pillow. “And please, could you not use the word
posse
ever again in that context?”

“Girl, go to sleep!” Ms. Alicia laughed and went into her room.

Bri came in later, wanting to know what I had done all day. She also wanted to tell me how she had spent her day. I turned over and faced her, but I kept dozing off. She was so excited, I don't think she even noticed that I was unconscious. I paid attention as much as I could, but I dozed off on her one time and the next thing I knew, it was six-thirty in the morning and Ms. Alicia was shaking me.

“Get up! Get up! We're late!”

“Huh?”

“Get up, girl! It's six-thirty! We overslept!”

“Oh my goodness!” I jumped out of bed and ran to the shower.

I threw on a warm-up suit and some shades and waited on Ms. Alicia, who was not going outside without her makeup under any circumstances. She did a rush job, but you could not tell by looking at her. She was still gorgeous! When the limo pulled up, we were standing outside and ready to go.

I took more pictures later that morning. During the afternoon, I was zoomed away to read in a commercial. Somehow, Ms. Erin got the gig for me. It was only a small part, but I got paid for it. And
it was going to be seen nationally. Once we finished the commercial, I had another meeting with Ms. Erin.

“So what do you think so far?” Ms. Erin asked.

“I love it.”

“Great!” Ms. Erin opened up a folder and pulled out a stack of paper. “I want to offer you a contract to represent you exclusively for the next three years. I can go on and on about telling you all the things I can do for you, Butterfly. But that's not how I do things. That's why I brought you and your family here this weekend to show you what I can do for you. When you board that plane tonight, you will have a complete portfolio filled with beautiful pictures. You will have a commercial where you are a principal actress. And you will be a contestant on one of the most popular reality shows on television. If I can do all of this for you in just one weekend, imagine what I could do for you in three years.”

Ms. Erin handed me the contract, and Ms. Alicia made me read every single word, line by line. She explained to me what each item meant. She was used to handling entertainment contracts with her PR firm. It took a while, but we finally finished it.

“Wow! I don't know what to say.” I was speechless. I turned to Ms. Alicia for guidance. “What do you think, Mom?”

“This is your decision, baby.”

“Can I ask why you are doing all of this for me, Ms. Erin?”

“Because I love what I do. I love molding new talent and turning it into something beautiful. I believe in you, Butterfly, and now I ask you to believe in me.”

“Okay, I want to sign the contract.”

“You sure, baby?” Ms. Alicia asked.

“I'm positive.”

Ms. Erin handed me an ink pen. “Young lady, you're on your way to being a star!”

Ms. Alicia smiled and watched as I signed my contract. Ms. Erin sent a limo to pick up the rest of our party, including Ma Powell, Sparkle, Stanley, Natalie and Alan to celebrate. We had a ball! And no matter how I tried to make it a family event, everybody made sure I was the center of the attraction.