“You really expect me to use the floor?”
“I don’t expect you to do anything.”
“I’m an engaged woman.” That fact had almost escaped me, even as Henry had tried to rescue me. No matter how much I didn’t want to marry him, I couldn’t climb into a bed with another. Even if it was just to sleep. And worse, the man was half—if not completely—naked.
“Oh, right. Which one was he? I’m assuming he was one of the younger ones. The dark-haired one? With dark eyes?”
I crossed my arms across my middle and tried to stay calm and unaffected by the fact that if I turned around I might see all of his naked body. I’d never seen one before and I had to admit to myself that I was incredibly curious—especially about his.
“Why haven’t you married him yet?”
“I only just accepted him.”
“I see. Why is it that your race waits to marry? If you decide you want to marry someone, why not do it then and there?”
I sighed. “Will you please cover yourself so I can turn around?”
“Go ahead. I’m decent.”
I turned around and saw him lying in bed with a fur blanket over his middle and his upper thighs. “Please tell me you’re wearing something other than that blanket?”
“Would you like to take a peek?” he said without a smile. I couldn’t tell if he was teasing me or not. I assumed he was, but then again…
Frowning, I propped my hands on my hips. “Please behave.”
“Fine. Now answer my question.”
“I don’t know,” I began. “It’s just the way we do things. We get engaged and plan a wedding and then we have a ceremony a fortnight later. We invite friends and family and celebrate with food and wine. The husband and his bride then ride off to their new home on horseback. It’s quite a big event really.”
“It sounds riveting.”
“You’re making fun.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled and his face softened as he smiled brighter and wider than I’d ever seen him. It made my heart quicken and my muscles ache in places that made me tingle. “So tell me, Remmie, what do your people do when they decide to marry?”
“If I want a woman forever I would tell her and we’d be done with it. She’d cut my hair and keep it as a token and I’d enter her over and over until I fell asleep.”
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “Please, sir, you can spare me
those
details.”
“And your fiancé won’t be entering you on your wedding night?”
“Can we not talk about anyone entering anyone else right now? Or ever? Please.”
“Suit yourself.” He shifted in bed and closed his eyes, yawning widely before rubbing his chest with his hand. For a second I imagined his hand as mine. I shook my head furiously to stop myself.
“The ink on yours arms and neck? Does it really indicate how many men you’ve killed?”
He stared at me so long that I had to look away. Just when I assumed he wouldn’t respond, he did.
“Your people call us savages. They assume we are ruthless and have no hearts. That we kill all that stand in our way.”
“Don’t you?”
He scoffed and put his hands behind his head. The muscles in his arms stretched and expanded, causing the tingling low and deep in my stomach to return. It made me want to sit, to cross my legs, to run away. Anything but stay here and look at him for another second. I didn’t trust myself with him.
“Those of us with a speck of a conscience mark our flesh to remind us of the lives we have taken and the families we’ve affected. I can kill without hesitation, but that doesn’t mean when I have a moment to think about my actions that I don’t wish things turned out differently. Taking someone’s life is not easy. To see the life drain from their eyes…” Remmie glanced at the window and his face changed. It softened somehow. “Well,” he continued, “it’s the hardest part of who I am and what I do.”
“And James?”
“He’s the only man I’ll never regret killing. I’d have pissed on his body if I thought the others wouldn’t stop me. I’ll not mark my skin for him.”
“So the marks aren’t at all like trophies.”
He looked at me like I’d slapped him. “It’s amazing the lies your race believe about mine.”
I suppose it really was. I knew nothing about these men, other than what I’d read, and I’d believed it all. I was almost ashamed that I had accepted the information as absolute truths.
“What do the marks mean? Is that your language?”
He nodded once. “The dates of the kills.”
“How…how many dates are there?”
“You and your questions.” He closed his eyes and took a long breath. “Forty-two.”
“What will you do when you run out of space?”
He chuckled. “I don’t know. I hadn’t given it much thought. I never intended to kill so many people that I run out of skin to mark.” He shifted and the blanket lowered on his middle to show a faint line of hair below his belly button.
I lowered myself to the floor and propped my head up on my hands. This man would be the end of me. The floorboards were rough and weathered, and every time I moved I swear my skin took a splinter.
I waited for Remmie to go to sleep, wondering if I could slip out tonight. I worried I wouldn’t get far before they caught me again. They’d only come to my home to get me, and I’d risk hurting the rest of my family. No. I would stay and take my chances on the mountains.
Hours later, I couldn’t stand the cold, hard floor anymore. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I couldn’t stand sharing the same space with Remmie and not be near him.
I climbed into bed beside him, holding my breath the entire time. I removed all my clothes but for my sheath and I made sure to push the blanket down between us so we wouldn’t have any skin-to-skin contact. I didn’t trust myself any more than him.
It took a long time to fall asleep. I slept deeper than I ever had until he shifted in bed and the creaking bed woke me. When I opened my eyes, my gaze met his. My stomach danced and the ache from earlier on, the one deep and low in my belly, came back and it traveled farther down, between my legs.
The moonlight streamed in through the window, highlighting the planes of his cheekbones. His eyes twinkled.
“I won’t be able to stop myself from touching you if you keep looking at me like that.”
That made two of us. “I thought I wasn’t your type.”
He threw the blanket off and rolled on top of me. A thin sheath separated us once again, only now I didn’t know how long it would stay between us, or if I wanted it to. I drew in a breath and licked my lips, trying to find the willpower to tell him to get off me and to make myself want him to.
“Isame, I have a suspicion that you are every man’s type.” He shifted his body, the bulge between his legs pressing between mine. I gasped, shocked by how good it felt and how much I wanted him to move his body again. But I held my breath, knowing it might be over just as quickly as it began.
“I…I…”
“Tell me to stop.” His voice was low and husky.
I couldn’t. I made myself think back to the night at the waterfall, how he’d hurt Ethan and my father and Henry.
Remmie closed the distance between our faces, his long braid falling forward and hitting my shoulder. His lips hovered above mine. The intoxicating scent of cedar and sweat made me shiver.
Henry. Father. Ethan.
He moved his lips over mine. They barely touched, like he caressed them with a feather. My whole body felt as if it might explode at any moment. I arched my hips, pressing myself harder against him. I could feel his manhood throbbing between my legs.
Henry. Father. Ethan.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “Please. I can’t.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Stop.” It sounded halfhearted.
He leaned back to stare down at me. I swear he was the handsomest man I’d ever laid eyes on—and probably ever would. If only he hadn’t stolen me away or hurt my family. Would I have had a chance with him? Would I have given myself to him? Married him? As much as I wanted him in that moment, I reminded myself that I never wanted marriage. I wanted excitement and travel. Could I have had that with him? Could I have had it all?
“Good night, Isame,” he said quietly before rolling off me and turning onto his side. He stopped when his back was to me.
“Good night, Remmie.”
I must have counted a million sheep as I held myself back from touching every inch of his flesh.
* * *
Early morning sunlight filled the windows as Remmie snored loudly beside me. I wondered how I had managed to fall asleep; he sounded like a charging bear. Some of his hair had come free from his braid and fanned out on the bed around him. I picked a stray strand and rubbed it between my fingers. It was silky smooth. Watching him sleep made me sigh. He was so peaceful. So beautiful. I had to leave his side. I had to be clear of him, just to be able to think without the influence of his smell and his beautiful face.
I threw my ripped dress over my sheath and followed up with the cape.
Outside, I inhaled the clean, fresh air and stared up at the mountains in wonder. Their peaks hid behind billowy white clouds. Not a soul in the area stirred. I wondered, momentarily, how far I would get if I ran. But I wouldn’t. Not yet.
My walk took me along a trodden path that went behind the inn, down a short cliff, and toward a small stream that traveled far into the mountainous ranges. I had never seen the mountains up close before and I hoped I would one day see them again. I followed the stream a little ways, grateful for the fresh air and the solitude that I had been without since my capture. I used to love taking long walks alone in the woods.
When I knelt down by the water, my reflection startled me. Gnarled dark curls and dull green eyes. The journey had added ten years onto my face, and emotionally I’d probably aged exponentially as well. Would I ever be the same naive farm girl again? Even if I made it back to my old life, I would feel as much of a prisoner in my marriage to Henry as I did now. I wanted to live my life as I saw fit. If I escaped I would make sure that’s how I lived. I wouldn’t marry Henry. I would risk the town and my family turning their backs on me and be OK with it. My freedom was all I wanted now, and I’d have it no matter how my life played out.
Deep in thought, I shrieked as an unknown force struck me from behind. It knocked me forward, smacking my head against the dirt. After rolling me over, Nole straddled my middle. Why? I wasn’t sure. The surprise of his attack left my mind spinning. His heavy body forced my lungs to constrict, my air to be all but cut off. Why couldn’t they just grab hold of my arm or something? Why were they always throwing me down and climbing on top of me? I’d had just about all I could take!
“I knew you would play us for fools.” His words were venomous as his hands squeezed around my neck.
Chapter Eleven
“I…can’t…breathe,” I said, slapping at Nole’s hands to get him to release the hold he had on my neck.
He snapped his hands open as if they were on springs before rolling off of me.
“You were trying to escape,” His penetrating gaze set on my face and I refused to meet it. I cared very little about how he chose to react to my boldness.
“I went for a walk, you stupid savage. I could have been halfway home while you slept off your ale and yet, here I am. What does that tell you?” He must have drank for most of the night; it oozed from his pores.
“A walk, huh?” he said, cautious.
“I don’t care what you believe,” I spat back at him, pushing him aside as I rose to my feet. “I’m done being bullied by you and your friends.”
Nole seemed to be at a loss for words. He just looked at me as if he were waiting for words—words he did not have—to sprout from his tongue.
It felt wonderful to get good and angry. I wondered why I hadn’t done it before. I got to my feet and stomped back to the inn, hoping he had the sense not to follow. I was irritated with myself for not making a run for it when I had the chance. What was keeping me here? I didn’t think it was fear, anymore, at least not from them. I wanted adventure. And…I wanted Remmie.
I collapsed into a wobbly chair inside the inn and sighed with my whole body. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. As I waited for the female server to come and greet me, Nole strode in to sit at my side. He wouldn’t meet my gaze. Instead, he looked around the room with a scowl on his face as if he was somehow irritated with me. Ridiculous.
The server came over and dropped a loaf of bread on the table and a small block of butter. As she took our orders, her gaze flashed back and forth between Nole and me as if sensing the tension swirling in the air around us.
When she came back with our food she ducked away without a word, but not before slamming Nole’s food down on the table and giving me a very obvious smile and a wink. Women united.
The silence grew as we ate, until Nole finally finished chewing. He leaned forward on his elbows and studied me. His gaze heated my face. When I couldn’t take his glare anymore, I leaned toward him. I wouldn’t back down. He was big and scary, but not to me anymore. Or maybe I no longer cared what he would do to me.
“Do you have something you’d like to say to me?” With my eyebrows raised, I folded my arms and rested them on the table.
“My apologies for assuming.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
He shifted uncomfortably and ran a hand over his face. One minute he wasn’t speaking to me, the next he was. One minute he tried to choke the life out of me and the next he apologized. Why couldn’t he just make up his mind as to whether he liked me or hated me? These stupid men were the most confusing I’d ever met in my life.
I had a gut feeling savages didn’t offer a lot of apologies so I simply stared at him, unsure of how to respond.
“I suppose I can’t really blame you if you did try to run away. After all, we did kidnap you. You’ve been a rather good sport about the whole thing actually.”
“A good sport,” I said with a chuckle. “About being kidnapped? Well, that’s probably the oddest compliment I’ve ever had in my life.”
Nole’s lips curled into a rare half smile. Delicate creases formed along the corners of his beautiful blue eyes, but the rest of his face looked strained, as if he wouldn’t allow himself to show any more emotion. Would it have killed him to let go? Allowed himself a laugh or an ear-to-ear grin once in a while? Why did he have to be so in control all the time?