“Leave that be, Perry!” she scolded, brandishing the spoon at him. “That's for after the ceremony, and don't you forget it! You can eat yourself sick on the scraps tomorrow for all
I
care, but you leave it alone tonight, or more than your knuckles will be hurting, I promise you.”
The shock-haired boy whined a halfhearted apology and started to sulk; to stave off a sullen fit she shoved a handful of trencher slabs across the table at him and told him to go see that the minstrels were fed.
Some day ... spoiled brat. I wish Father'd send him back to his doting mama. A cat's more use than he is, especially when everybody's too busy to keep an eye on him.
Fortunately, all Perry had to do was show up with the slabs of trencher bread and the minstrels would see to their own feeding. Kero hadn't met a songster yet that didn't know how to help himself at a feast.
The first meat course was over; time for the vegetable pies, and the dishes straw-haired Ami had been plunging into her tub with frantic haste were done
just
in time. Kero sent the next lot in, laden with heavy pies and stacks of bowls, just as the remains of the venison and the poor, hacked up bits of the bread-deer came in.
It's a good thing that monstrosity didn't hit the ground,
she reflected soberly, snagging Perry as he slouched in behind the servers and sending him back out again with towels for the wedding guests to wipe their greasy fingers.
What with Dierna's family device being the red deer and all, her people would have taken that as a bad omen for sure.
There was no subtlety for this course, thank all the gods and goddesses-
Not that Father didn't want one. More dough sculpture, this time a rampant stag-as a testament to my darling brother's virility, no doubt. It's a good thing Cook had a fit over all the nonsense that was already going to wind up being crammed into the oven!
There was a momentary lull, as the last of the emptied dishes arrived and the last of the servers staggered out; and everyone in the kitchen took a moment to sag over a table or against the wall, fanning overheated faces. Kero thought longingly of the cool night air just beyond the thick planks of the door at her back. But her father's Seneschal poked his nose in the doorway, and she pushed away from the worn wood with a suppressed sigh.
“Any complaints so far?” she asked him, her voice clear and carrying above the murmur of the helpers and the roar of the fire under the ovens.
“Just that the service is slow,” Seneschal Wendar replied, mopping his bald head with his sleeve. “Audria's Teeth, child, how do you stand it in here? You could bake the next course on the counters!”
Kero shrugged.
Because I don't have a choice.
“I'm used to it, I suppose, I've been here since before dawn. Anyway, you know I've supervised everything since before Mother died.” The simple words only called up a dull ache now; that priest had been rightâ
Damn him.
âtime did make sorrow fade, at least it had for her. Time, and being too busy to breathe.
“I'm sorry I can't do much about the service,” she continued, keeping an ear cocked for the sounds of the servers returning. “There's only so much stableboys and hire-swords can learn about the server's art in a couple of candlemarks.”
“I know that, my dear.” The Seneschal, a thin, tired-looking man who had been the scribe and accountant with Rathgar's old mercenary company, laid a fatherly hand on her arm, and she resisted the urge to shrug it off. “I think you're doing remarkably well, better than
I
would have, and I mean that sincerely. I can't imagine how you've managed all this with as little help as you've had.”
Because Father was too tightfisted to hire extra help for me, and too full of pride to settle for anything less than a princely wedding feast. Lord Orsen Brodey consented to this marriage; Lord Orsen Brodey must be shown that we're no jumped-up barbarians... even if Rathgar's daughter has to spend the entire feast in the kitchen with the hirelings....
She felt her cheeks and ears flush with anger. It wasn't fair, it wasnâtânot that she really wanted to be out in the Great Hall either, showing off for potential suitors and their lord-fathers. Bad enough that Rathgar never thought of her; worse that he'd think of her only in terms of being marriage bait.
Which he would, if he ever thought past Lordan's marriage ... Lordan's
far
more important marriage. After all, he was the male and the heir ... Kero was only a girl.
Kero set her jaw and tried to look cheerful, or at least indifferent, but something of her resentment must have penetrated the careful mask of calm and competence she was trying to cultivate. Wendar patted her arm again and looked distressed.
“I wish I could help,” he said unhappily. “I told your father three years ago, whenâwhenâ”
“When Mother died,” Kero said shortly.
He coughed. “Uh, indeed. I told him that you needed a housekeeper, but he wouldn't hear of it. He said you were already doing very well, and you didn't need any help.”
Kero clenched her teeth, then relaxed with an effort. “Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Fatherâ” She clamped her lips tight on what she was going to say; it wouldn't do any good, it wouldn't change anything.
But the sentence went on inside her head.
Father never really notices anything about me so long as I stay out of sight, his dinner arrives on time, and the Keep doesn't smell like a stable. I suppose if anyone had mentioned that a fourteen-year-old girl shouldn't be forced into the job of Keep Lady alone, he'd have said that the girls in his village were married and mothers by fourteen. Never mind that the most any of them had to manage alone was a two-room cottage and a flock of sheep, and usually didn't like even that...
She sighed, and finished her sentence in a way that wouldn't put more strain on Wendar than he was already coping with. “Father had other things to worry about. And so do you, Wendar. You've got a hall full of guests out there, and no one keeping an eye on the servitors.”
Wendar swore, and hurried back toward the door into the Great Hall, just as the wave of servants returned with the dirty dishes from the last course. Wendar side-stepped the rush, and dodged between two of them and through the doorway.
Stuffed pigeons were next; a course that required nothing more than the bread trenchers. That would give the kitchen staff enough time to clean the platters now being brought in before the fish course of eel pies was served.
A full High Feast, and who was it had to figure out how our little backwoods Keep could come up with enough courses to satisfy the requirements? Me, of course. Tubs full of eel in the garden for days, the moat stocked with fish in a net
-
pen, crates of pigeons and hens driving us all crazy... let's not talk about the rest of the livestock.
Kero rubbed her arms, and rerolled the sleeves of her flour-covered, homespun shirt a little higher.
Damn these skirts. Breeches would be easier. The helpers get to wear breeches, so why can't I?
She wondered if Dierna had any notion of how much work a High Feast was. She ought to; she'd been trained by the Sisters of Agnethaâin fact she'd been sent to the Sisters' cloister at the ripe age of eight, so she ought to have had time to learn the “womanly arts.”
Dierna ought to have had
proper
instruction in those womanly arts too, as well as the art of being womanly, whatever that meant ... unlike Kero, as Rathgar was so prone to remind her whenever she failed to live up to his notion of “womanly.”
Selective
memory,
she told herself bitterly.
He keeps forgetting that he was the one who decided he couldn't do without me.
Wheat-crowned Agnetha was Rathgar's idea of the appropriate sort of deity for a lady to worshipâunlike wild, horse-taming Agnira, Kero's favorite. There was a shrine to Agnetha in the Keep chapel, though the other aspects of the LadyTrine were only represented by little bas-reliefs carved into the pedestal of Agnetha's statue. There in the heart of the chapel, Agnetha smiled with honeyed sweetness over her twin babies, her wheat sheaves at her feet, her cloak of fruit-laden vines around her, her distaff dangling from her belt of flowers, sheep gazing up at her adoringly. While on the pedestal, alternating snowflakes and hoofprints were all there was to show of the other two aspects, Agnoma and Agnira. Rathgar approved of Agnetha, occasionally waxing maudlin over his somewhat sketchy devotion when in his cups.
Well, after the feast, the wedding, and the month-long bridal moon, Kero could probably give up the keys of the Keep to Dierna. That would bring an end to the farce of pretending to enjoy being mewed up in the kitchen, stillroom or bower day after endlessly boring day. Dierna was pliant enough to satisfy both Rathgar and his son, and she seemed competent when Kero had taken her on a quick tour when the girl first arrived.
Kero shook herself out of her reverie as the servitors appeared with platters piled high with soaked trencher bread. She had them dump the bread into sacks waiting for distribution to the poor. Time for the bowls and eel-pies.
Cook was head-and-shoulders deep into the oven, removing the next subtlety, and Kero overheard one of his assistants giving orders for the pies to be carried out first.
“Hold it right there!” she snapped, freezing the servants where they stood. She stalked to the table, plain brown linen skirts flaring, and countermanded the order, physically taking a pie away from one poor confused lad and shoving a pile of clean bowls into his hands instead. The harried young man didn't care; all he wanted was someone to give him the right thing to carry in, and tell him what he was to do with it.
Kero repeated the instructions she'd given them all for the soup course, as she passed out further piles of bowls. “One bowl for every two guests, put the bowl between them, when you've finished placing the bread, go to the sideboard, get trencher bread, give each guest a trencher, then come back and get a pie.”
It made a kind of chant as she repeated herself for each servingman. Outside, Wendar would be directing the men to their tables; no matter that they'd been going to the same places all night. By now they were tired and numb with the noise and the work, and all they were thinking of was when the feast could be over so they could eat and drink themselves into a celebratory stupor.
Dierna was probably beginning to wilt under all this by now. That much Kero didn't envy her. When the older girl had taken her on that round of the Keep duties, she'd been a little shyâand Kero knew very well how sheltered the girls trained by the Sisters tended to be. Not
ignorant,
no; the Sisters made certain their charges were well-educated in the realities of life as well as domestic skills. But perhaps that was the problem; Dierna was like a young squire who has watched swordwork all his young life and only now, at fifteen, was going to pick up a blade. She knew what was
supposed
to happen, but was unprepared for the reality of the situation.
The first of the servitors returned for his pie, and Kero made certain he didn't take it without a towel wrapped about his hands. She wondered, as she passed out towels and pies in a seemingly endless stream, what Rathgar would do or say the first time dinner was inedible or there were no clean shirts for him.
Probably nothing. Or else he'd find a way to blame Kero.
What is wrong with the man?
she asked herself in frustration for the thousandth time.
I'm doing the best that I can with what he allows me! It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't pick fauks that no one else cares about. Maybe if I'd talked him round to doing without me and gone to the cloister....
She watched the cook prepare the next subtlety, an enormous copy of the Keep itself complete with edible landscaping, and made sure that two men were assigned to carry it out. The mingled odors of meat and fish and fowl weren't at all appetizing right now; in fact, they made her stomach churn. When this was all over, the most she'd want would be bread and cheese, and maybe a little cider.
Or maybe the problem that made her stomach churn was the thought of what could have happened if she'd actually gone to the cloisters. While not mages, the Sisters had a reputation for being able to uncover things people would rather have been left secret. What if Kero had gone, and the reputation was more than just kitchen gossip? What if the Sisters had found her out?
Father has had plenty to say about Grandmother. “The old witch” was the most civil thing he's ever called her. What if he'd found out he had a young witch of his own?
He'd have birthed a litter of kittens, that's what he'd have done. Then disowned me. It's bad enough that I ride better than Lordan and train my own beasts; it's worse that I hunt stag and boar with the men. It's worse when I wear Lordan's castoffs to ride. But if he ever found out about my apparently being witch-born, I think he'd throw me out of the Keep.
The mingled cooking odors still weren't making her in the least hungry; she helped Cook decorate the next course with sprigs of watercress and other herbs, chewed a sprig of mint to cool her mouth and told her upset stomach to settle itself.
“What if” never changes anything, she reminded
her
self. He never did more than play with the idea, and he didn't want to take the chance that Wendar couldn't handle things. After all, the only thing Wendar has ever done was keep track of the books and manage the estate. There's more to managing a Keep than doing the accounts.
She set sprigs of cress with exaggerated care.
Come to think of it, Wendar may have discouraged Father in the first place from sending me away. I suppose I canât blame him, he has more than enough to do without having to run the Keep, too. That may be why Father kept saying that it wasn't “convenient” for me to go.