By Way of the Wilderness (22 page)

“All right, Mother,” Bezalel sighed. “I will do as you say.” He grinned crookedly. “But I'm afraid I don't make a very good father.”

In the days following his talk with Miriam, Bezalel had done his best to follow her advice. He went to extra trouble to pay more attention to the emaciated little girl. He found time to play games with her and quickly discovered she had a very quick mind. He talked with her and cautiously tried to find out about her life. But she didn't respond to that. He suspected she had had a very hard life and seemed reluctant to speak of her family. She continued to have bad dreams, although they occurred less often. He still went to her each time it happened, and she would cling to him and whisper, “Please, Bezalel, tell me a story.” During the day, he made it a point to invite her to go with him whenever he went to get water or to repair something that was broken, and when he did this, he saw that she was happy.

****

About a week after he stepped on Shani's foot at the forge, Bezalel was returning from a hunting trip. Having managed to kill three coneys, he was looking forward to a stout, well-seasoned soup—the way his mother made it. He was surprised to see Shani sitting beside a small scrubby bush, her legs drawn up, encircled by her arms and her face hidden. He saw her shoulders shaking, and he quickly went to her and said, “Well, now, Shani, look what I've got. Three nice, juicy, plump rabbits. We'll have a good supper tonight.”

When Shani looked up and saw the rabbits, she tried to smile, but he saw tears running down her cheeks.

“What's the matter, Shani?” Putting the bow and quiver down along with the dead coneys, he laid his hand on her thin shoulder. “What's the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, now. You can tell me. Something's wrong.”

“They … they won't play with me.”

“The other children? They won't play with you?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“They don't like me.”

“Oh, that can't be true. Who wouldn't like you?”

Shani turned her tearstained face up to him, and her mouth twisted as she tried to stop crying. “They say I'm not a Hebrew. Why don't they like me, Bezalel?”

“Oh, children just don't have much sense sometimes. They're stupid not to like a sweet little lamb like you. That's what you are, my little lamb.”

Shani smiled shyly up at him, pleased with the name.

“Is that all that's wrong, a bunch of stupid children who don't have sense enough to like a nice girl like you?”

“I … I'm worried that you'll leave me.”

This was a recurring theme for the child, and Bezalel knew it was a very real fear. “That will never happen,” he said. He put his arm around her and leaned forward and whispered, “Did I ever tell you the story of the lion and the mouse?”

“No, Bezalel, tell it.”

Bezalel started making up a wild story about a mouse and a lion. He had no idea where the story was going, but he saw that as he spoke her eyes grew warm, and several times he made her laugh.

Suddenly he broke off when he saw a small party arriving, obviously travelers from some distance. “I wonder who they are?”

Shani tugged at his garment. “Never mind them. Tell the rest of the story, Bezalel….”

****

Moses could hardly keep his eyes open. He had been sitting for hours, with only a short break for some food and water at midday. It had become his custom to sit and listen to the arguments and charges brought by various members of the Hebrew tribes. Sometimes they were important, such as a man charging another with incest, but often times it was minor things, such as the one he was now listening to. One of the Hebrew wives felt she had been insulted by the wife of a prominent elder. Moses tried desperately to keep his mind on the issue, but he could not. Finally he was aware that Joshua had come and knelt beside him.

“Master,” Joshua whispered in his ear, “your family is here.”

Moses started. “My family?”

“Yes. Your father-in-law, your wife, and your two sons.”

Moses scrambled to his feet and said quickly, “I will hear this tomorrow. I must leave now.” He turned and followed after Joshua, who led him through the crowd. “When did they get here?”

“They just arrived,” Joshua said. “They've come all the way from Midian.”

Moses could not help but feel guilty pangs that Zipporah had felt it necessary to return to Midian during their trip to Eygpt. She had accused him of being a worthless husband and father, since he never paid any attention to his family.

Moses saw his father-in-law, Jethro, standing and talking to Aaron and went to him. He bowed and then put his arms around the older man. They embraced, and Moses said, “I am glad to see you, Jethro.”

“And I you,” Jethro said. His words were not harsh, but his eyes were heavy with concern. “I have brought your family, my son.”

“I see.” Moses went to Zipporah and put his arm around her. “I am glad to see you, my dear.”

But she did not return his affection, and Moses quickly removed his arm and smiled at his sons. “It is good to see you both.”

His sons bowed slightly and greeted him.

Moses quickly threw himself into the business of finding them a place to stay. “Joshua,” he said, “we must have a good meal tonight to welcome my family.”

“Of course, master.”

Moses shot a quick glance at Zipporah and saw no kindness in her gaze. He made himself smile and said, “We will have a good meal, and then I will tell you everything I've been doing.”

****

Moses took a great deal of time after the meal that evening to explain to Jethro and his family all that had happened since their return to Midian. He made the story as long as possible, for he was aware that sooner or later he would have to speak directly to Zipporah. When the meal ended, he waited until Jethro and his sons had left together and then said, “I hope you are well, Zipporah.”

“I'm very well.”

“I have thought of you a great deal.”

“No you haven't.” The words were harsh and cold, and Zipporah went at once to the heart of what was burning in her eyes. “We never should have married.”

“Don't talk like that.”

It was as if Zipporah had not heard him. “I thought you'd join with my father and become a priest of Midian as he is, but you did not care enough for me or your sons to stay. All you think about is this band of slaves. You took the first chance you could to run away and leave us.”

Moses tried as gently as he could to explain how leaving Midian was not his choice. “The God of my fathers has spoken to me. I have to be obedient. I am truly sorry that I have failed you, Zipporah.”

When she sat staring coldly at him, he went on in desperation, “We have been married a long time, Zipporah, and our sons are grown. Can't you see that my job now is to care for all of these people, hundreds of thousands of them?” She neither moved nor blinked but kept staring at him in obvious anger, and he added quickly, “I would have been happy to have you with me, Zipporah, but you chose to go back to Midian. I will always provide for you, but I must obey the voice of my God.”

Zipporah said coldly, “I knew it would be useless to come here, but my father insisted. You are no husband to me!” She turned and left the tent.

Moses stood there grieved and agitated, but though he tried desperately, he could not think of any way to be the kind of husband she wanted him to be. She wanted a husband who could be available at all times, who could listen to her and stay close by. Moses knew he could never be that kind of man. God had called him out to lead the new nation of Israel, which was being birthed. He was the one God had chosen, and it grieved him that Zipporah and his sons had to suffer for it—even as he himself suffered.

****

“I'm worried about Moses,” Miriam said to Aaron later that day. “He's disturbed about what he's done to his family.”

“Well, he shouldn't be,” Aaron said. “Zipporah will just have to take Moses as he is.” Aaron shrugged and said, “God has called him to be more than just a husband. She will have to learn to accept that. My wife understands what God has called me to.”

Miriam shook her head. “Zipporah is not likely to ever accept that. Your wife is a far different kind of woman than Zipporah. She's meek and mild and will do exactly as you say, but Zipporah has some of that Midianite streak in her. She's a strong, stubborn woman, and she'll never accept second place—not even to God!”

Three months after the Hebrews left Egypt, they came to the wilderness of Sinai. A remarkable plan had been forming in Moses' mind to put into writing the history of the Hebrews and of the world, so he called for specially treated lambskins to write on, and had ink made from a fluid extracted from a fish found in the streams along the way. As a young prince in Egypt, he had studied Egyptian history recorded on stone and clay tablets, but such a method would not work for a traveling people.

Moses had listened to the elders carefully and was impressed at how their recitations of Hebrew history never changed. Word for word they were always the same, and he incorporated these verbal accounts into the work. He began his chronicle with the time of creation, and moved on to the beginnings and growth of the Hebrew nation, through the histories of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and particularly of Joseph.

As he meticulously recorded each word, he was also careful to submit the book to the elders from time to time for their scrutiny, for every word had to be true. He included the bad as well as the good. He was well aware that God was in the making of the book, for not all of it came from the elders and their oral history. Much of it was placed in his mind by God himself.

While Moses worked on this extraordinary project, he also thought about the worship of the Hebrew people. Should this new nation have a priesthood? he wondered. Other peoples had priesthoods, but they were so polluted by sinful practices that he could barely conceive of an honorable priesthood. It troubled him deeply to think of the worship of the Hebrews falling into such error. He had raised an altar after winning the victory over Amalek, but he had not slain a sacrifice on it, for God had not told him to do so. He continually sought God for wisdom, and as they approached the mountains, he prayed even more ardently. Faith came into his heart that God would tell him all that he must do to bring the people of the Lord into a covenant relationship with their God.

****

The camp lay a half-day's journey from the mountains. Moses left early in the morning, and soon he saw the mountains of Horeb ahead of him. As he made his way toward the mountain where he had encountered the flaming bush, he kept praying to God to show him how to lead His people. He lifted his voice and cried out, “O God, instruct me. I am weak and frail and have no wisdom. Tell me what to say to your people.”

God's voice came to him as clearly as it had from the burning bush, ringing through the craggy peaks and valleys of Sinai like the tolling of a mighty bell:
“This is what you are to say to the house of Jacob and what you are to tell the people of Israel: ‘You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself. Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.' These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites.”

With tears running down his cheeks, Moses heard the voice of God, then turned at once back toward the camp. He was filled with joy, and when he had called the people together to hear the words of God, he challenged them to listen and obey. “Will you submit to the law that God will give you to be His holy people according to His desire?”

And the people cried out, the elders shouting the loudest, “We will do everything the Lord has said.”

Moses went back to God with their response and received detailed instructions for how the people were to prepare themselves to meet with God. They were to wash themselves and their clothes and meet at the base of the mountain but go no farther. And then on the third day the Lord would descend on the mountains and speak directly to His people.

****

Moses led the people of Israel to Mount Sinai, and they camped for the night near the base of it. The men and older boys he directed to one side of the mountain, the women with the little ones to the other. As they found their places, Moses watched them and was struck at the great changes that had come over the people in the three months since leaving Egypt. They no longer had the ashen gray complexion of slaves, but their faces were firm and bronzed. Black curly beards adorned the faces of the men, and the women had dressed themselves in the rich garments they had brought from Egypt and had ornamented themselves with earrings, nose rings, and neckbands.

The people remained quiet and expectant while the heavens opened with a display of frightening intensity. A massive dark cloud descended on the mountain; lightning pierced the cloud on all sides, and thunder rolled down the mountain and through the valleys, causing the mountain to shake. The people were so terrified, many thought they would die. Out of the dark cloud sounded a voice like a trumpet as the people stood trembling and staring upward. Mount Sinai seemed to be on fire, and many could not even bear to look at it. The trumpet voice sounded long and grew louder, and finally the Lord himself came down on Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain.

Leaving the people to wait for him, Moses climbed to the summit, and there God told him:
“Go down and warn the people so they do not force their way through to see the Lord and many of them perish…. Go down and bring Aaron up with you.”

So Moses went down to speak to the people. The lightning and thunder stopped, and an intense silence enveloped the waiting tribes of Israel. In the midst of this silence, the voice of God was heard like a mighty trumpet, solemnly giving His people the laws they were to obey:
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below…. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God…. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy…. Honor your father and your mother…. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's house … your neighbor's wife … or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”