Authors: Jenika Snow
Chapter Seven
She hated that she wanted Cain so much, because in the end life hadn’t gone how she’d envisioned for so many years. Yeah, he said they couldn’t be together after she had told him she had loved him from the very beginning, but a part of her had always held onto that fucking emotion … hope. It had cost him nine years of his life when he’d defended her and Fallina, but she had known right then that the hardened outlaw biker was the man that would forever shape all other guys for her. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him, wanting him, not even when he pushed her away all those years at the prison. She loved him, dammit, and hated that he was too stubborn to realize it was genuine for her, and for him, too. He protected her like no other ever had, or ever would in her life, she knew that without a doubt.
She pushed herself away from the front door where she had been leaning, wanting to just leave the house, maybe drive around to clear her thoughts. In the end she had decided to stay in, because with how edgy she was driving probably wasn’t the best option. Violet made her way into the kitchen. Drinking probably wasn’t the best thing to do at the moment, but her body was near to shaking with the emotions sweeping through her. Opening the cabinet, she dug around until she found the bottle of whiskey she had shoved back there ages ago. God, why did she have to want a man that was an outlaw biker, a one percenter that fought his feelings, killed people, and had no regrets about the illegal and dangerous things he did?
With a shot glass in one hand and the bottle in the other, Violet poured herself a drink, and thought about the last nine years. She hadn’t been a virgin since she was sixteen years old, thanks to that fucking creep, Carl. But even after that, and wanting Cain, she’d tried to move on with her love life. Violet knew better than that. But the few guys she had been with had lacked in so many ways. All she’d thought about while with them was how they were so weak compared to her biker, to the man that had nearly beat another guy to death because that was what was ingrained in his blood, how his mind was wired. He’d never change, and God help her, she didn’t want him to. The club had been there for her and Fallina all the years they had been alone, without Cain there to protect them, and it was only a few years ago that they actually settled roots and formed their charter in River Run, Colorado. It wasn’t far from where she lived, but that hadn’t stopped the club members from making sure they were fed, clothed, and always protected.
She tossed the drink back and breathed out. It was like fire down her throat, but the pain felt good, made her feel alive. It distracted her from other things, things that haunted her on occasion, that had the nightmares creeping up as she imagined that sick fuck that had touched her when she had pleaded with him to stop. When Violet thought about that time so many years ago when she’d seen Cain again, locked up and in that grey, void visiting room, emotions filled her. She had been honest, told him what she’d never told anyone, and she’d thought he’d kill someone all over again for her. His anger had been tangible, his emotions clear on his face and in the way his big body had strained forward. She had wanted his comfort, needed it so desperately, but she knew with Cain Trainer she wouldn’t get any flowers or candy. He was rough as they came.
She repeated the process with the shots again and again until she felt a warm burn start to flow through her veins and her body grew numb. On her fourth shot she heard the sound of a motorcycle in the distance, coming closer with every passing second. Time seemed to stand still, and then she heard three loud hard knocks on her front door. Of course she knew who it was without even opening the door. But she didn’t move, couldn’t. But then she heard the front door open and close.
“Violet, I know you’re home, so no point in fucking avoiding me.”
She closed her eyes and breathed out at the sound of Cain’s voice. She really didn’t want to do this with him right now, especially when the liquor was starting to make a hum in her body, and she knew in a few moments she’d really be feeling the effects.
Cain’s expression as he regarded her was stoic and hard. “I know the fuck you heard me knocking, Violet, and hiding behind a bottle of alcohol won’t solve shit.”
How in the hell was she supposed to reply to that? And why was he even angry with her? He was the one who had said they could never be together. “Cain, please, I don’t want to do this with you right now.” She stared at him just as hard as he was watching her. “You made it clear where you stand. Now, let me drown my sorrows temporarily in this bottle of whiskey.”
“That’s not the answer, and you know it. You want to talk, and I’m here.” He moved closer, and leaned against the frame. “I upset you, and that’s the last thing I want to fucking do.”
“The night didn’t go how I planned.” She lowered her gaze to the white shirt that could be seen through the opening in his cut. She lifted her gaze to his once more and saw a flicker of emotion cross his face. But he was good at hiding it the next second. With her hand still tightly wrapped around the neck of the whiskey bottle, she wished she had finished off the whole thing before right now. As the alcohol continued to move through her veins she knew her mouth wouldn’t stay shut for long.
Even after everything she saw, knew about Cain and The Brothers of Menace, the blood, the carnage, and violence, Violet wanted this man more than she’d ever wanted anything. Even though this man was in his forties, he was so handsome in a rugged, vicious way.
She was aroused, her pussy wet, and her nipples hard. And all he did was stand there, staring at her with eyes that consumed her very soul, his knuckles scuffed and bruised from fighting. Even at a distance she saw him swallow, watched as his Adam’s apple worked beneath his tanned, tattooed flesh. Throb, pulse, and tingle. Those were all of the things her clit and pussy were doing as she took in the sight of his muscles contracting and releasing under his worn jeans and white t-shirts. God, his thighs were so big and muscular, like thick tree trunks. And even from where she stood, and despite the fact he wore a shirt she could see the lines from his six-pack, those hard ridges that were like paint rollers under the material.
The death grip she had on the bottle seemed to ground her, stabilize her. Violet forced her fingers away though, and set the bottle aside. “I don’t want to rehash everything again, Cain. At this point I feel like a broken record.” She didn’t know why those words had come out of her mouth.
He moved closer, just a step, but she felt his body heat slam into her.
He took another step closer. “I told you years ago that I would always protect you. You’re not just Fallina’s best friend, but under my protection until the day I die. This is the first time in my life that I have ever felt my conscience rise up.”
A million different things slammed into her mind, but none of that seemed to matter at that moment. It wasn’t lost on Violet that Cain was watching her like a hawk, and breathing harder, the same as she. His chest rose and fell the closer he moved to her. When they were mere inches from one another, she stared into his black eyes, ones that looked like deep, dark pools of onyx.
Take me now.
The words slammed into her head over and over again.
“You’re shaking,” he said low, deep, soft. He moved an inch closer, and she pressed her back fully against the counter.
“You’re the one that brings that out in me.” Cain knew everything about her, knew about the sexual abuse she had gone through with the asshole that was now dead—by Cain’s hands.
He didn’t say anything, but his emotions flashed across his face, as if he were screaming at the top of his lungs exactly how he felt. “I love you, Cain,” she whispered, knowing she shouldn’t have said that, but needing him to know the truth and believe the words. He closed his eyes, braced his hands on the counter on either side of her, and breathed out roughly.
“You don’t love me, Violet.”
“I do, Cain, and you can’t tell me I don’t.”
He opened his eyes, staring right at her, and she wished that she could touch him, have the guts to just take what she wanted. “You don’t love me because I am not the man for you. I could give you a hundred different reasons why I’m bad news for a good, sweet girl like you.”
Her heart beat loud in her ears. “I’m not a girl anymore. I know what I want, and what I want is you.”
He didn’t move, didn’t speak, and she feared that she had said the thing that would finally push him away. Yeah, he always said he’d be there for her, and she believed him with her very soul, but there was bound to be a point where he couldn’t take anymore, couldn’t be around her because she wouldn’t back down on her feelings. Violet refused to back away. She had waited long enough to be with the man she loved, to finally be able to express how she felt. Whether he accepted her was not the issue. The issue was her being able to finally look him in the face, on her own terms, and without the feel of the walls closing in on her as she stared at him in that prison, closing her off. This was her life, and she wanted this more than anything. She wanted Cain more than anything.
“No, you’re not a girl anymore,” he said almost to himself. “Believe me, Violet, I’ve noticed, but that doesn’t change that you’re too good for the likes of me.”
“That isn’t your decision to make.” The silence stretched between them after she spoke. “Don’t you feel anything for me more than the need to make sure I’m okay?” She knew he did, felt it in her heart, but she wanted to hear him say it. She
needed
to hear Cain say it.
But instead of answering like she thought he would, he made this low sound in his throat, grabbed her around the back of her head, and pulled her close. He pressed his mouth against hers, and this gasp left her. She was frozen in place, unsure if this was really happening. It didn’t matter though because the feel of his lips on hers, moving rough, hard, and demanding, had every rational thought leaving her brain. The way he held her, kissed her, made her feel wholly feminine and possessed ... exactly how she wanted to feel with Cain. She felt the heat, the need in his touch. She was helpless to stop it, but she didn’t want to, ever.
He placed his other hand against her lower back, and she gasped from the searing heat of that lone touch. When he pulled her closer, she moaned at the feel of his erection pressed against her belly. He was frantic with his kisses, becoming even more demanding as the seconds ticked by. But Violet wanted this, wanted more of it, harder and rougher, and wanted Cain to make her feel like there wasn’t any other person on this planet for him. Whether that was the truth was still left to be said, because Cain wasn’t a man of many words, but she didn’t care right now, because right now this was all she needed.
Chapter Eight
It was like something snapped inside of Cain, like he was saying fuck it and finally taking what he wanted. This was his little girl’s best friend, a woman he considered family because she had been in their lives for so long. But now he was kissing her like he couldn’t get enough, like he couldn’t stand the thought of not being with her. It was wrong, so damn wrong, yet he couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t help himself. She tasted sweet and faintly of the whiskey she’d drunk, and he wanted more.
They were both frantic with their need, and although he should stop, that didn’t mean he was in his right mind to do that. All he kept thinking about was finally having her, finally touching her in the way he had always fantasized like some kind of sick fucking pervert. Yeah¸ they were both adults, and she wasn’t a child anymore, but he was fucking forty-five years old, and even though she was in her mid-twenties that didn’t mean this was okay. She was Fallina’s childhood friend, but this woman was telling him she loved him, had wanted him for a long time. Damn, he had wanted
her
for a long time as well.
This isn’t right. She’s too young for you, and fucking
Violet
for shit’s sake.
Yet he kept kissing her, kept pulling her closer to his body, so damn close he knew she could feel the massive hard-on he sported. He broke the kiss, a semblance of reality slamming into him. He stared down at her, saw the way she stared up at him with her big, round bright green eyes. Her black hair was a wild mess of waves around her face, and although he shouldn’t be thinking the horrid thoughts about her being hurt by the bastard he had killed with pleasure, he couldn’t help it.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay, make sure you’re safe and that you never know pain again.”
She didn’t answer right away, just ran her tongue around her pink, slightly parted and glossy lips. And then when Violet exhaled softly, pressed her breasts against his chest, he knew he was done for. “I’ve waited a long time for this, led my life because I didn’t know you’d ever see me as anything more than a girl, but I’ve wanted you regardless.”
“Baby, we should go slow, take things easy and one day at a time because of what happened—”
“I know what happened back then, and I am not letting it shape who I am. I am not a damaged girl that lets some motherfucker hurt me for the rest of my life.”
He stared at her face, knew that although she had this strong composure to her, she also had this vulnerability. He wanted to make sure she was okay, didn’t know if there were a lot of deep, scarred and dark rooted nightmares inside of her because that fucker had taken her innocence. But she wasn’t pushing him away, and in fact was almost pleading with him to take away her pain.
“I want to replace those memories with ones with you, Cain. I’ve been trying to do that my entire life, and without any of it working. But I know being with you, feeling every part of you, will help. Please, Cain, God, I need this.”
He stared at her, not about to make her suffer, because he couldn’t stand to see this woman hurt or in any kind of pain. “Dammit, Violet.” He clenched his hand in her hair and pulled her close again to take her mouth in a possessive kiss.
They panted against each other’s mouths, and then he broke the kiss to remove her shirt and then her bottoms. She didn’t stop him, and in fact moaned out. Once the material was removed their lips latched back together, and their tongues pressed each against the other.
Violet brought her hands to the front of his jeans and fumbled with the button, and although his heart was pounding fast and fierce, and the need to be the one to take control of the situation rose up in him, he let her lead. She needed this, or at least he thought she did, and he’d do anything for her. Fuck, he’d do anything for Violet. But he noticed her hands shook, and Cain covered her hands with one of his and released the button of his jeans. His erection pressed demandingly against the denim, and all he could think about was that she was here, with him, and smelling and tasting so fucking good.
Mouths still latched in a demanding kiss, Cain gripped her hips, turned her around, and led her back toward the kitchen table. Never removing his lips from hers, he slowly lowered his zipper, pushed his jeans down, and groaned deeply when his cock pressed right against her soft, warm flesh. She was so fucking curvy and thick, shaped like a woman, and he loved it, loved every inch of her. Violet wasn’t a shrinking Violet, pun intended, and when she placed her hand on his cock, a groan ripped from him.
“Baby, I want to make sure this is really what you want, and that this arousal pulsating between us, consuming us, isn’t what is fueling you.” He pulled back and cupped her cheeks with his hands. God, her flesh was so pale, almost luminescent against his tanned, scarred, and calloused flesh. She was perfect in every way, so delicate and vulnerable, but innocent and trusting.
“Believe me when I say this isn’t a need because of the arousal, Cain.” She licked her lips, her hand still on his cock, and then said in a softer voice, “This is what I want, what I need. I’m ready.”
Her bra still covered the mounds of her breasts, and she wanted the offending material off. Cain pulled back only long enough to take off his cut and set it aside, and grab his t-shirt behind his head, pulling it up and off. He wanted to feel her skin against his, feel her softness to his hardness. He wanted to claim her like there wasn’t anyone else in the world for either of them.
****
Violet pushed Cain’s shirt up almost frantically, and once again their kiss broke apart for a split second. The air whooshed out of her when she glanced down at his exposed chest. God, he was so hard, so defined and muscular. He had tattoos that lined both of his arms from wrist to shoulder, and the Brothers of Menace patch he had inked on the side of his abdomen told her this man was in his club for life. She knew that patch well, had lived around it nearly her entire life, and had been taken care of by men who wore it like a badge of honor. She saw Fallina’s name inked on his inner bicep, strong, Old English style letters that told her this man wanted his daughter’s name on his body forever because he cared about her so much. He was a good father, a good man, despite the horrific, illegal things he did, or the fact he didn’t think he was good enough for her.
Raw, unadulterated lust slammed into her, so fast and fierce it nearly took her breath away. Not even when she had slept with the other men did she feel this kind of arousal, but then again she’d been trying to move on with her life, and put the man she truly loved behind her. It hadn’t worked, not in the least. When their gazes locked, she thought she saw a moment of hesitation reflected in the dark depths of his eyes, but just as quickly as it had appeared a dark mask replaced it.
She let her gaze travel down to the erection she felt throbbing against her belly, felt thicken in her hand. Of course she shouldn’t have been surprised at what she saw, but when she was greeted with a cock that was just as powerfully built as the rest of him, thick and long, hard and big, and pierced right through the tip, her mouth went dry. He stood before her like a god, or maybe the very devil himself. He certainly had done things that others considered evil.
Violet stared down at the thick ring that was pierced through the head of his shaft, and all coherent thought left her. The overhead light caused the silver metal to glint, like a warning of what was to come. Before she could drag her gaze from the sight, he had his hands pressed right on her waist and pushed her panties down. He grabbed her ass next, right below the cheeks, and lifted her off the ground and set her on the table. The cold wood met her overheated flesh, and she bit her lip.
When he leaned forward and started licking and sucking at her pulse point below her ear a surprised gasp left her. She shamelessly leaned into him, seeking more. He closed the gap that separated them, and she felt her pussy become soaked even more. For the first time in her life she was wet naturally, not needing the artificial lubricant to get her to the point where she could tolerate sex with a man. The bare, hot and hard length of him pressed to her spread and exposed pussy. She panted as the metal that adorned his dick cooled her scorching flesh, before warming from her body heat.
His hands on her shoulders made her feel weak, womanly. He pushed her back until she was spread across the table, like some flesh entrée he was about to devour, and God, did Violet want him to devour her until nothing was left. She felt free with him, safe and protected, and knew that he’d never hurt her. She might have been with a few other guys sexually, and attempted to move past the rape that had
tried
to shape who she was, but the fact remained that Cain was always the one she thought about. It was he who would help her fully heal from the inside out, whether he knew it or not.
He took a step back, and she instantly felt the chill in the room. How in the hell
could
he stop what they were doing? She felt crazed when he was this near, but Cain looked calm and in control. She still wore her bra, which was where his gaze was trained.
“Remove the bra, Violet … slowly.” His voice, low, commanding, sent a thrill of dark desire through her. Although she knew that right now he was not being as commanding, as dominant as he normally was, she wanted him one hundred percent. Even though that frightened her in a very female, exciting way.
Lifting her arms, she unlatched her bra with shaky fingers. She had never been more thankful for a front clasp, because it was easy to remove, and didn’t prolong what she wanted desperately. When the material was tossed aside, and the chill seeped over her flesh, she knew what her nipples looked like without looking down. The tissue felt sensitive and hard, like the tiny tips could cut into glass. Every erogenous zone in her body tingled as he stood there and watched her, appraised every inch of her, and made her needy. He was aroused, his big dick standing hard and out in front, pointing right at her. The overhead light gleamed off the piercing on his cockhead, and set her inner muscles clenching.
“You trust me, Violet?”
She didn’t hesitate. “I do, with my life.”
“Good, because I’d never hurt you.” He took a step forward, just an inch, but she felt the heat from his body. “I’d kill anyone that hurt you, that
thought
about harming you.” He stared at her, not speaking after he said that. She had no idea how to respond. Violet knew he meant those words, had seen it firsthand, and felt it in her bones.
She swallowed and wondered if he liked what he saw. His cock straining forward, his gaze on her, and his words, should have told her as much. If the look on his face hadn’t kept her rooted to her spot, she would have jumped off the table and run her hands all over his body, pulling him closer and whispering how much she loved him. But he was a hardcore biker, a man that wasn’t all about soft words and sweet sentiments. He was coarse and aggressive, and the times she had seen him while growing up, had told her that this man was not to be fucked with.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful, Violet. I shouldn’t want you because of the type of man that I am, but fuck me, I do. I do so damn badly, and I feel guilty because of it.” He stared at her eyes, moved an inch closer so he was right in front of her now and his cock was right between her thighs. His gaze was scorching, and it took everything in her to breathe as he watched her with half-lidded eyes that reflected exactly what he wanted … her.
“I’m crude and lewd, Violet, and I want to be gentle, but I can’t help it. It’s who I am, baby.” He smoothed his fingers over her hands that gripped the edge of the table.
“I just want you, all of you. I don’t want you hiding yourself from me, or thinking I can’t handle your type of passion.” She breathed out. “Just be with me,” she pleaded now, so delirious with arousal. Her pussy was wet, soaking, and she wanted his dick inside of her, finally claiming every part of her.
For a moment he didn’t say anything, and then he groaned deeply, closed his eyes, and clenched his jaw. “Spread your legs wide. Let me see your soaking cunt.”
His coarse language sent her reeling, had her desire skyrocketing, and she didn’t even hesitate. Never had a man spoken to her in such a way, spoken about her body in such a crude manner, and had her to the point she was inflamed at the same time. The commands did something to her insides. She felt weak with need, and Violet wanted to please him, wanted to do anything he said.
“Don’t make me ask you again. This is what you wanted, and this is what you’ll get.”
Her heart thundered hard, and she spread her legs wide, doing exactly what he wanted her to do. This really was what she wanted, to have Cain be himself in all his dominating, hardened biker glory. He was powerful, strong, and took no shit, and she knew that being with him, even in this manner where he didn’t sugarcoat anything, was exactly what she wanted. Her past would not dictate her, and she’d overcome everything to finally be with this man.