His beloved wife was with child.
There was only the slightest change. A darkening of her nipples, a subtle change in the size of her breasts, but he could see it. To his knowledge, her courses had not come on her as normal. Did she know? Did she even suspect?
He would let her discover it herself. He wouldn’t tell her. To be truthful, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure. He was only sure that her body was changing, and no one knew her body more intimately than he. Henna would know. She probably already knew. Duncan thought his innocent wife would be the last to realize her condition, and that only when her belly got too large to let her kneel down in position for him.
He pulled away from her and lifted her to the bed, spreading her legs wide and thrusting inside so that she gasped from the sudden adjustment of being filled by him. Her eyes closed with desire.
“Does that feel good,
Cait
?”
“Oh, yes. Yes!”
He took her hands in his and pinned them over her head. “Spread your legs for me. Spread them wider,” he insisted, until her legs were splayed wide open and he could take her as deeply as he wished. He rode her hard. Her newly expansive breasts bounced with each thrust, and she tossed her head and grew wild from the sensation of him taking her so masterfully. It was as if he wanted to burn himself upon her since he wouldn’t be able to be with her for some time. He let himself feel everything about her that he loved; her tightness, her warmth, her sighs against his ear, the heaving of her breasts beneath him as she
orgasmed
with breathless gasps.
He came inside her womb for the first time ever without anxiety. The thing was done. She was already with child. Well, he would still lie with her. It was impossible not to, and as soon as he returned, he would lie with her again. He would lie with her until her belly made it impossible. Even then, he thought he would still find a way.
But not tonight.
He had to let her sleep because he intended to leave well before dawn. He intended to leave before she awakened. It would be too difficult to endure that tearful goodbye. He didn’t want to see the fear that overwhelmed her. He knew she would be perfectly all right, and he would too, but she would fear the worst. It was more merciful to leave in the night. She would be angry, perhaps, because he had promised he would not leave her without saying goodbye.
So when she was fast asleep, when her breath came slow and steadily in the dark hours of the morning, he leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Good bye.”
He rose and found Henna in the kitchen preparing a pre-dawn breakfast for the men. She knew him well enough to know by the look on his face what he’d come to tell her. She smiled.
“You’ll see, Duncan. You’ll have a fine son or daughter come summer. You’ll see how silly you were to put this off.”
“You knew already.”
“Aye,” she laughed, “but then, I know a woman’s ways inside and out. I know how they change when they’re carrying a
bairn
.”
“Watch out for her, Henna. She doesn’t know. Perhaps you shouldn’t enlighten her until I return. She’s already so nervous that something will happen to me.”
“She’ll miss her husband, yes. She’s always had a singular attachment to you. I think it’s sweet, how she dotes on
ya
. She hasn’t known much security in her life.”
Duncan sighed. “It’s just a bit of business with the Simpson clan. I’ll be back in a couple weeks. Just keep an eye on the little madwoman. Don’t let her kill herself before I return.”
Henna gasped.
“Oh, to even say such a thing.
She’ll be perfectly fine. I’ll keep her nice and busy with lots of projects. Now go on,” urged the old woman. “Eat a good hot breakfast before
ya
go.”
When Duncan rode out just before the light of dawn broke over the firth, he was trying to put his mind to the task at hand, the journey, but his mind kept returning to the thought of his sweet, slumbering wife all alone in his bed. He had the sudden mad thought of waking her and bringing her with him. He could place her before him in his lap to ride with him through the silent forests. She would have been an uncomplaining passenger, but it was impossible. Riding across Scotland, camping, surrounded by rough men. It was a fanciful idea. But it would have been nice to have her next to him to warm him all the way there and back.
Maybe if she wasn’t pregnant he might have risked it, but it was much wiser in her condition to leave her safe at home. He put her out of his mind with great effort, and put his heels to his horse to catch up with his men in the dawn’s light.
Chapter Thirteen
Cait
walked the beach listlessly. A few days had passed but it still smarted to remember he had left her without saying goodbye. She sat on a rock near the water and dug her toes into the sand. He claimed he loved her, but he had a strange way of showing it. She drew shapes and squiggles in the damp earth, letting the waves roll up and wash them away.
She wouldn’t write words. No. Ever since that day when Duncan learned she could read, everything had gone terribly wrong. She stabbed at the sand with the piece of driftwood,
then
looked back over her shoulder at
Mitchum
who stood at the mouth of the pathway to the beach.
Mitchum
didn’t know she could read or write, nor did he care. She was so awfully lonely. She wished
Mitchum
would talk to her, keep her company, but none of them would. They only stalked along
beside
her, silent and attentive, looking around as if at any moment some mortal threat might present itself.
She considered walking back into town to gossip with the women, but it seemed they always held their tongues when she showed up. It was terribly uncomfortable. She wanted to listen in to their immoderate, girlish talk, to learn how other women pleased their husbands, but they always fell silent when she listened, and she simply wasn’t in the mood today to play with the children.
She looked again at
Mitchum
, as if he might, against all hope, actually give her an idea of something to do. But he was looking past her, suddenly alert. She turned to find Lord Douglas only a few steps away. She leapt to her feet, and
Mitchum
began to walk towards them. How had he come to the beach without her or
Mitchum
noticing? The earl held up his hand.
“Come no closer, boy. I’ll talk to my daughter-in-law in private. She’ll come to no harm.”
Mitchum
took another step.
“Mind your place,” said Douglas to
Mitchum
, and this time his voice was a warning.
Mitchum
stood where he was and didn’t retreat.
Cait
twisted her hands in the skirts of her gown.
“You have no curtsy for me, Princess?” Douglas
asked,
his eyes boring into her.
She made the smallest reverence possible. She had avoided the older earl thus far, but now, on this remote beach, she felt terribly imperiled. She snuck a look at
Mitchum
, who continued to watch as the earl drew her away. Lord Douglas ignored her subtle resistance.
“Do you like your guard there, what is the boy’s name?” he asked when they were alone.
“His name is
Mitchum
, and he’s not a boy.”
“He is a boy, don’t fool yourself. Do you like him?”
She looked up at the earl in confusion. “Like him? He is my guard.”
“How would you feel if he were to be lost? You would be sad, wouldn’t you? Say, if he were to fall from that rock up there?”
Cait’s
stomach turned over as the earl pointed casually to the rock jutting from the head of the cliff overlooking the firth. She went there often, although her guards would never let her near the edge.
“Say, if he were to fall, an unfortunate accident.
All your
fault. How would you feel?”
Cait
swallowed hard. “Awful. But we don’t go near the edge—
We
never go near the edge of that rock—”
“Don’t you?” he said blandly. He looked at her. “If I want him to fall, he will.”
Her throat closed up, and she had trouble breathing. “What do you want?”
“I want you to find a way to make him go away.”
“He won’t. He won’t leave me. Duncan says— Duncan orders—”
“Duncan is not here, and your puffed up guards will not listen to me. He’s already glaring, so I’ll make this short. You will find a way to steal away from your guard tomorrow, and you will meet me at the abandoned barn on the hill beyond the orchard after lunch. If you do not find a way, your guard will die.” He said it so calmly the entire world took on an air of unreality to her. She felt confused, breathless,
shaky
with fear.
“Why?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.
“If you show distress, you will make it worse. Do you value their lives so little? Collect yourself. You will not know why. You will only do as I say, or else.”
Cait
looked over at
Mitchum
, so staunch, so protective. She couldn’t be the cause of danger to him. With terrible effort, she schooled her face to calm obedience. “I will do as you say. Just don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt any of them. Please.”
“That, my dear, depends on you.”
Duncan. She needed Duncan. When would he be back? What could she do on her own without him? Who could she confide in?
No one.
It was not safe. If any harm came to
Mitchum
, or Lonnie, or Desmond, any of them, she couldn’t bear the guilt. She would meet the earl tomorrow and see what he wanted. When Duncan returned, he would take care of all of this, but for now, she had no choice but to obey.
“What do you want?” she asked Lord Douglas again.
“You will learn that soon enough. And lest you think of telling anyone else about what we’ve discussed—”
“I won’t,” she interrupted before he could make any more threats. “May I go? It is nearly time for dinner.”
Lord Douglas turned away and began to walk down the beach.
Cait
collected herself. She didn’t know how she managed. She only knew she couldn’t let
Mitchum
think anything was amiss. She walked over to him and forced a smile in the face of his obvious concern.
“What a nasty old man,” she murmured. “It’s getting late. Let’s return to the keep.”
* * * * *
All night
Cait
tried to think of a plausible excuse to get
herself
alone to the barn. She could simply steal away but that would raise a terrible alarm, and would certainly infuriate the earl into possible retaliation. She would have to lie, but she was terrible at lying. She had no choice. She had to try.
The next day Henry was her guard, which was serendipitous. Of all of them, he was the least likely to question her. He usually barely attended her, and he had only been her guard a few weeks. She told him she was working on a surprise in the barn for her husband, that she wanted to complete it in secret before he arrived home. Henry seemed content enough with her excuse and allowed her to steal into the barn while he waited a distance away.
She pushed open the door, hoping against hope the earl wouldn’t be there, but he was. He barred the door behind her as she backed across the barn. It was dark inside and dusty, a faint smell of animal still lingering in the air. Light filtered through some holes in the eaves. She shivered. It was terribly cold.
“Henry is here, but he’s waiting a distance away. I told him I was coming here to work on a surprise.” She watched him nervously. He just stared at her. Somehow it gave her comfort to keep
talking,
although she got the feeling he didn’t care what she said.
“For Duncan.
A surprise for Duncan.”