Cake (21 page)

What’s left of my heart crumbles to the floor along with the tears that I’m not going to waste after tonight. Letting it out, I think back over these past couple of months. I’ve learned to let loose a little, well a lot in bed. I had fun. It took my mind off of Trent and Aunt Leigh’s sickness. I discovered that Dray wasn’t as big of a dick as I previously thought. No, I learned he is just a broken man, one that I obviously can’t fix, or be worth fixing for.

Now, Trent just kissed me. He talks about being a working team, but that kiss had nothing to do with work. This is my time, my chance, to be with Trent who I’ve waited forever for. I don’t want to waste another minute of my life on waiting. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and give Trent everything I’ve got. But tonight, well tonight, I’m going to mourn what I’ve lost. A little piece of my heart.

Is this night ever going to end? I ask myself for the ten-millionth time, looking over at the clock and reading 4:00 A.M. in red. I stare up at the ceiling as the moon shines bright through the windows and Jonsie snores on the pillow beside me. The white plaster hasn’t changed within the last hour I’ve been in bed. Not that it should, but I almost wish that it would come crashing down on me. Maybe it could knock some sense into my head. I should be lying here thinking of Trent and how I am going to reveal my feelings and dream of him returning them while he kisses me again. Instead, I’m dreaming of beautifully-sculpted brown skin contrasting against my light skin. Of Dray’s hands on me – in me.

Groaning, I turn over and punch my pillow. Why? The sound of a door opening downstairs has me sitting up; however, my heart rate slightly rests when I hear the sound of the alarm code being punched in, indicating someone I know. I hope. Jumping up, I scare Jonsie to death as I run to the window and look outside seeing Dray’s car parked alongside my building. The sound of heavy footsteps pounding up the steps has my heart racing again along with Jonsie’s barking.

Wait, Trent doesn’t have a car. They both have my code and keys, which I haven’t changed in years like a dummy. Trent has them since he stayed with me in the past, and Dray only received them when we started sleeping together. His booty calls were usually late at night, and him having keys meant I didn’t have to stay up in case he couldn’t show. I’m almost sure it’s Dray, but what if?

From my room, I glance down the windowless hallway where a dark shadow appears at the very end. He freezes. I can’t see who it is, but my body already knows. Sexual heat spreads fast as the anger blooms deep. Shaking, from either uncontrollable lust or unbounded anger, I move to sit back on my bed, trying to control something that I know I have no power to govern.

“Why are you here?” I ask.

“Sex.”

“I’m sure you can get that anywhere.”

“Yes, but we have an agreement. No strings attached. No commitments. We both are unattached adults.” Light from my bedroom finally slashes across his brutally handsome face when he takes a few steps forward. “Unless that has changed?”

The answer to his questions swirls around my head. I don’t have a relationship with Trent. Trent hasn’t been waiting on me all these years. In fact, up until tonight, I didn’t even think he thought about me that way. I have to ask Dray.

“What about Trent?” His eyebrow raises over one eye.

“What about Trent? Did you two work something out tonight? If so, I’ll leave. No hard feelings.” Stopping inches from me, he whispers, “But if not, then I thought we could continue our thing. As long as it feels good.”

I want to tell him to go to Hell. I want to push him back down the hallway and throw him down the stairs. That is what I want, but what I do, is totally different.

“Damn you,” I say right before I stand to push him hard against the wall beside my door. The impact causes a picture to fall from its place, crashing loudly beside me. My fist hits his chest once. I uncurl my hands, sliding them up and around his shoulders, linking them behind his neck to force his mouth to mine. My mouth punishes his, biting and licking, as I try to express how much I hate him. Can’t stand him.

We both moan into each other’s mouth. He hasn’t made a move yet, not even to touch me. Bringing my arms back to his chest, I shove hard against him once more, separating us. His massive body hits the wall again, and he lays his head back, thudding it behind him. His hungry eyes never leave mine.

“I don’t want to make love to you.” My shocking plea comes out in a breathy whisper, intertwining with our heavy panting. What did I just say to him?

“When have you ever? What we do has nothing to do with love,” his deep voice says softly. “Does it, Kylie?” His intense gaze belies the true meaning of his question.

Sifting his fingers through my hair, he grasps the silky ends, tugging my head back. Staring into my eyes, he still doesn’t make a move to touch me. It makes me furious, my entire body vibrates with anger. We have nothing to do with love. We never have.

“What?” I ask silkily. “I didn’t think this would be a solitary performance. I don’t need you for that.” Backing up from him, I reach for the hem of my shirt and lift, slowly pulling it off. Not turning from him, I back up to sit on my bed. I remove my shorts and panties, feeling drunk on the lust running rampant in the room and the feeling of being in control. His gaze leaves mine to roam down my body, stopping only to appreciate my diamond studded bellybutton piercing. I scoot my butt back, planting my feet on top of the bed and spreading my legs open with my knees bent, letting him view my glistening pussy.

“After the way you treated me yesterday, I don’t think I should share this anymore.” I run my fingers up my inner thigh and allow my head to fall back. I circle my vagina then press two fingers tightly against my clit. My wetness coats the tips, and I smear it all around. Knowing how much he loves the flavor of me, the thought crosses my mind to taste myself. I’m already drowning in a haze of lust and the image of licking my fingers turns me on. Lifting my hand, I see Dray’s eyes lock onto my fingers. I never knew that desire could be a living breathing creature, but I’m a believer as I imagine the invisible animal wrapping its claws gently around Dray as I watch his face tighten with need. His body trembles as if the imaginary beast breathes against his neck. I moan thinking about my pretend pet.

“Fuck this shit,” Drays exclaims, launching himself at me. Roughly grabbing my hand, his mouth covers my fingers, twirling his tongue between each one, sucking them down his throat. The appreciative look in his eyes tells me he enjoys me just fine. “This is mine,” he growls.

Once he finishes his taste testing, he circles his arm around my back, hauling me upwards against him while standing, attesting to his strength. Claiming my mouth, he uses teeth and tongue to fully demand my attention. My legs circle his waist as he turns to walk me up against the wall. It is warm against my backside from where his body heat branded it only minutes ago.

I feel his hand press against my stomach and the soft tug as he passes my piercing. He continues to dominate my mouth as his body traps me against the wall, and he uses one hand to unzip his pants. With a jerk, he frees his cock and places it at my entrance. Not wasting any time, he lifts me and impales me down on him. He groans simultaneously alongside me, and with both hands, he grips my ass, controlling the tempo of our joining.

“Fuck-an-amazing! Babe, it so good,” he grunts each word out.

He knows how to work me so, that within minutes, I’m close to coming. He doesn’t slow down, but instead, increases his thrusts and changes the angle. We both moan in tandem as my body clenches tightly on him. The pressure builds within me, and I need release as much as I need my next breath.

“Please,” I beg.

“Hold on, Babe,” he states, sliding his finger to my clit and rubbing.

“OH!” I scream as the waves of my orgasm takes me high.

“Kylie...,” he leans his head back and yells to the ceiling.

Hot gushes of warmth fill me, unbelievably sending me into another orgasm. I wrap myself tighter around him, grinding his cock deeper, not able to slow my movements down.

His hiss of pain invades my senses, “Ky, take it easy. Give me just a second.”

Halting my motions, I lean against the wall, letting him hold me up as my breathing slows. Tears overwhelm me, falling silently down my cheeks. I close my eyes, not wanting to look at him. He kisses my tears, sipping away any evidence of emotion. It reminds me what we are to each other and that it can never be anything else.

“Put me down,” I whisper.

“Kylie,” he starts.

“I’m sleepy, Dray.”

Slightly lifting me, he dislodges himself and helps me stand. I can feel thick fluid streaming down my leg. I watch his gaze drop, and then, his wide eyes hasten to my face.

“Oh, fuck!”

I look down to make sure something weird is not going on with me when I immediately notice his penis. His naked penis! The thick pink-head glistens with the same dense white substance seeping down me.

“Dray,” I say not concealing the worry in my voice

Even in the limited light, I can see his face pale. Not looking at me, he slowly tucks himself back into his jeans and zips.

“Stay,” he commands. He turns to walk into my bathroom, flipping the lights on. I hear water running and he comes back carrying a small towel. Kneeling in front of me, he places the damp soft material against my leg, wiping away any trace of him.

I stare down at his administrations. My heart pounds, and my thoughts run rampant, needing to know where his mind is. He freezes, looking up into my eyes. Without thinking, I lean down and kiss his mouth.

“It will be okay,” I whisper.

Grief and little relief mark his features. Nodding his head, he gathers the towel and stands. I take it from him and step back.

“Kylie...,”

Nodding my head, I softly smile and tell him again, “It will be okay. Just go.”

He nods back, and with one last soul burning look, turns to leave. I hear him travel down the steps and reset my alarm before leaving. Taking a deep breath, I count my cycle in my head, thinking that I really will be fine. If not, well, I’m not going there. Yet.

Hours after Dray left, and with little to no sleep, my mother calls to inform me that Aunt Leigh is in the hospital. I drive the entire way, bawling my eyes out thinking I’m not ready to let go yet. Please God, just a little more time. Just a little more time.

Once I arrive, I meet my mother and father in the waiting room. The doctor explains that her Stage IV Breast Cancer is showing obvious signs of end stage. It has already spread to her liver, lungs, and bones. The CT scan shows lung metastases and that is causing her to have shortness of breath. Since my aunt had opted to stop treatments earlier and her Living Will states that she does not want any medical intervention, there is nothing they can do. The doctor informs us it is unlikely to help anyway, and that now is the final stretch of time. He asks us to count each minute with her as a miracle from this point forward.

After he exits, I fall to my knees, sobbing as if my world is ending. It is like receiving the crushing blow a second time. The first being her diagnosis, and now, well now, this is it. I can’t breathe. The pain rips through me, and the knowledge of her imminent death sits on my chest like a four hundred pound elephant. I want to scream at him to take it back. To make it better. My father gathers me in his arms like I’m small child again, rocking me to and fro, hushing my cries, and wiping my tears away.

Later, we are allowed to go in to see her, but they are keeping her sedated. Madison arrives at some point that day once she learns of the news. I sit by my aunt’s beside and refuse to leave, so Mads walks up to hug my neck. With her arms wrapped around me, she stands by my side for hours, not speaking. Comforting me like only a true sister of the heart would. When my tears return, she cries right next to me, never leaving my side.