Calamity @ the Carwash (Parson's Cove Mysteries) (13 page)

There was a brief pause.

“No, you didn’t, Mabel.”

“Didn’t what?”

“Tell me that you were going over to
Erma and Murray’s place.”

“Really? I’m sorry. I thought I had. Did
I tell you that I was going to stop in and visit Prunella?”

“You went to visit Prunella? Why, on
earth, would you do that? She’s drunk half the time, Mabel. You’d better stay
away from her.” 

“You know what, Flori? I want to thank
you for sending Delores over to check out my house. You know why?”

“No of course I don’t. I have no idea
how your brain works.”

“Because no one answered when I knocked
on Prunella’s door but guess what?”

“Mabel, I am not going to guess.” She
let out a very loud sigh. “Come to think of it, I will guess. You found her
body bludgeoned to death on the kitchen floor. No wait, someone had shot her
right through her kitchen window. Or, let’s see, perhaps, someone shot her with
a poisoned dart.”

“Did someone already tell you?”

“What? Tell me what? Someone shot
Prunella with a poisoned dart? Are you serious, Mabel? Oh my heavens, what is
this world coming to?”

I’m sure all the deaf people in the
nursing home four blocks away from Flori’s house could hear the wail that she
let out. Sammy, my cat, jumped down from the chair where he’d been sound
asleep, gave me a disgusted look and walked into the living room.

I waited for those few seconds when she
had to inhale and catch her breath.  

“No, Flori, she wasn’t hit with a dart
but she was beaten up. That’s what I meant. Did you know that someone hit her
on the side of the head and that she’s now in the hospital?”

Whispering replaced wailing.

“Someone hit Prunella?”

“Yes, and I’m wondering if she’ll make
it. I thought she was dead. If I hadn’t heard that soft moaning, I never
would’ve gone inside to check things out.”

“And that’s why you’re glad I sent
Delores over to your house? You think there’s someone who’s planning on beating
you up too?”

“No, Flori. I’m glad because I like
knowing you keep check on me. I’m sure if someone were out to murder me,
whomever you sent over would find me before the end came.”

“What end?”

“The end when I died.”

The wrong wording but it was too late to
try to mend it. I waited until I was quite sure my dear friend was finished
weeping.

“What I’m saying, Flori, is that I’m not
upset that you sent Delores over to search my house. I’m glad because if
something had happened to me, like a heart attack or something, she could call
for the ambulance – like I called the ambulance for Prunella.”

“All right. I’m glad you’re glad. Can we
change the subject now, Mabel?”

“Of course, we can. What did you want to
talk about?”

“I can understand you wanting to visit
Erma but why would you visit Prunella?”

“Somehow this doesn’t seem like we’re
changing the subject, Flori, but that’s okay. I wanted to see how she was
doing. That’s all. No big deal.”

“Well, that’s very nice of you. Are you
coming to the little book club meeting tonight?”

“No but that’s okay, Flori, I know it’s
something you’ll enjoy.”

“Myra said you were taking inventory?
Since when do you take inventory this time of year?”

“I thought I might get a head start on
it, that’s all.”

“That’s a really big head start, Mabel.
You don’t have to make up some excuse. Not everyone wants to read books when
it’s ninety degrees outside, you know. I’m not fussy about it myself.”

“The wine and cheese might be good
though.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.”

We shared a good belly laugh and hung
up.

I have to admit that although I didn’t
lie, I did intentionally leave out the part where I was planning on visiting
Sheriff Smee while Flori was sitting and enjoying that wine and cheese.

Chapter
Twenty

Reg was definitely not looking his best
when he answered the door. For example, last year when he had an abscessed
tooth and I paid a visit, he looked much better. And, happier. At least, then
he took the time to comb his hair. Not that he has much hair left to comb but
what was there, was standing straight up. I was also not that impressed on how
far he opened the door. All he did was stick his head out.

“What do you want, Mabel?”

“That’s the way you greet a neighbor
who’s come visiting?”

“That’s the way I greet Mabel Wickles
when she comes visiting. Now, what do you want?”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind coming in. I
brought you some of your favorite muffins, I’ll have you know. I haven’t seen
you round in ages and I thought you might be missing your usual coffee and
muffins. Well, I didn’t bring over any coffee but we could drink some of yours,
I suppose.”

“Beth isn’t here - although I have a
feeling you already knew that. You’ve come to get information about the murder,
right?” He gave a little grunt-like laugh. “Well, you’ve come to the wrong
place. I probably know less than you do. In fact, I would bet on it.”

He started to close the door but as
usual I’m prepared for such things so I stuck my foot out before it went shut.

“Hey,” I screamed. “You smashed my
foot.”

The door swung open again.

“Mabel, I can’t believe you’d stoop so
low as to put your foot in the door.”

I bent down and unlaced my sneaker. My
entire foot was on fire.

“I think you broke my foot, Reg.” I
gently removed the shoe and then my sock. “Well, at least, there’s no blood.”

“That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever
seen. What did you do that for?” He kneeled down to have a better look. “It
doesn’t look broken to me. See if you can wiggle your toes.”

All five wiggled without any problem. I
didn’t mention it but the foot was also pain-free already.

“I hope you don’t mind, Reg,” I said. “I
think maybe I’d better sit down and rest my foot for a few minutes. I’m sure if
I walk on it right now, it will just irritate it and I’ll really suffer for it
later on.”

“I suppose you should.”

He looked about as enthused as my cats
do when I fill their bowls with generic dried cat food.

“I told you that my wife isn’t home,
Mabel. I don’t think it would look right if I had you come inside. Maybe if you
walk home slowly, it won’t be so bad. Sometimes exercise is the best thing for
injuries.”

I looked down at my foot. “No, I can’t
walk home on it just yet, Reg.” I smiled up at him. “I know what we could do
though.” I pointed to the two lawn chairs tucked under the patio table. “We
could sit here and talk while my foot recovers from the smashing you gave it.”

Reg’s eyes rolled up but I paid no
attention.

“Why don’t we sit here for a few
minutes? You could enjoy one of your muffins, if you like. I’ll have a cup of
coffee if you have one on. If not, it’s okay.”

“No, Mabel, we don’t keep coffee brewing
all day here. If you want, you can have a beer. That’s what I’m going to have.
Well? Do you want one or not?”

I’m not a beer drinker but it was warm
out, I was thirsty, and I did want to keep Reg talking as long as I could.

I nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

He disappeared into the house before I
could ask for a glass and napkin.

A few minutes later the sheriff returned
carrying two beers in one hand and the bag of muffins in the other. He placed
one bottle in front of me and the other with the muffins, in front of himself.
I watched in amazement as he tipped the bottle and drained half of it. After
placing it back on the table, he wiped his hand down the front of his shirt.
Somehow, I think there should be stricter rules on beer drinking etiquette.

While Reg was tearing into his first
muffin, I gently picked up the cold bottle of beer and took my first drink. The
bottle dripped with so much sweat that it almost slid right through my hand.
After the first swallow of that ice-cold brew, I totally understood beer
drinking etiquette. I wiped my wet hand down my pant leg, took a good grip on
the bottle and tilted it up. The more that went down, the thirstier I became.
After four generous gulps, I came up for air. Two seconds later, a belch erupted
from somewhere inside of me and blasted out of my mouth with enough force to
make me almost fall out of the chair. Fortunately, since Reg is well acquainted
with the rituals of beer drinking, he didn’t bat an eye.

I waited until Reg had devoured two
muffins before I said, “I imagine you heard about Prunella?”

“Prunella?” His beer was now finished
but he still had muffins to go. “What about Prunella?”

“You didn’t hear that someone beat her
up and she’s in the hospital?”

Sheriff Smee stared at me. He was silent
for several seconds. There was shock in his face but also a look of sadness.

“Nobody told me, Mabel.” He quickly
stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

He returned with two more beers and
stood one in front of me. I made no protest but quickly downed the small
portion I still had left. Flori would never forgive me for this.

“So, tell me about it. How do you know?
Is Maxymowich keeping in contact with you now instead of me?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s just that I’m
the one who found her. That’s why I know.”

“You found Prunella? Where?”

“Well, I went to her place and when she
didn’t answer, I opened the door and called. I heard someone moaning so I went
into her bedroom and there she was. I thought she was dead. She was just lying
there, staring up at the ceiling and there was blood all over the side of her
head. I called the ambulance and after Fritzy and Herman took her away, I
checked out her house. At least as much as I could before Maxymowich arrived.”

“Hmmm. So they didn’t even call the
local sheriff. How do you like that, Mabel?”

“I personally think it’s totally unfair.
To tell you the truth, Reg, I think you and I could solve this murder faster
than any of those city cops could. Anyway, guess what I found at Prunella’s?”

He smiled. “So, you think that you and I
could solve this case?”

“Of course, I do. We’ve solved other
cases, haven’t we? Why couldn’t we solve this one?”

“Without Captain Maxymowich finding
out?”

“Obviously, it would have to be done
very discreetly. But, Reg, don’t you want to know what I found at Prunella’s?”

He tipped his bottle and I waited.

“You win. What did you find at
Prunella’s? Couldn’t be the murder weapon because I have that here.”

“You have the brick that killed Bernie
here? Like, right here in your house?”

He nodded. “Yep. I was the one who sent
it to the lab for prints and I’m the one they returned it to. It is now in my
safekeeping until the trial.”

“Does Maxy know?”

Another guzzle. “Yeah. Had to tell him.
The only reason it’s here is because there weren’t any prints on it at all.
Everything was all smudged.” He laughed. “Wasn’t that generous of him? Leave
something with the old sheriff to guard so he’ll feel important. Hey, I know –
how about something that means nothing.” With that, he tipped the bottle up and
drained it.

“Can I see it?”

“You want to see the brick?”

I nodded.

Reg shook his head and grinned. “Mabel,”
he said, “You’re a bit on the morbid side, you know that?”

“You know I am, Reg. I’d like to have a
look, that’s all.”

He hauled himself off the chair with a
few more grunts than were necessary. However, when a person is full of
self-pity, I’ve found he tends to do that.

“Okey-dokey, Mabel. You sit tight and
I’ll bring the brick out for you to see. Mind you, you can’t touch it.” He
stopped and looked at me. “You’re sure you want to? I mean, most ladies get a
little skittish around murder weapons.” Then, as if he’d told the funniest joke
in the world, he burst out laughing.

“Oh right, that’s only ladies. But,
Mabel, you’re one of the best old girls there is.”

I watched as our noble sheriff turned
and walked a bit unsteadily towards the door. If he returned with more beer
instead of the brick, I would have to as nonchalantly as possible, knock them
over and spill all the beer. Sheriff Smee was definitely past his limit.

Thankfully, he returned with only the
brick. A heavy clear plastic bag with information attached protected the brick
inside. Reg handed it to me and sat down.

“There it is, Mabel. An ordinary red
brick. The kind you see all over Parson’s Cove. You know how I know? I went
into every yard in this town and checked them out.”

“What about the blood? They identified
it? It was Bernie’s?”