Authors: Quinn Loftis,M Bagley Designs
“Poke who with a fork?”
“Em’! Geeze, don’t you listen? Poke’EM.”
“Has anyone ever told you there is something wrong with you?” I tease with my usual question.
She winks at me and grins, “No one who matters.”
“I feel her, just beyond my reach, but she’s there. I would question it, but then I already know the answer. There isn’t anything supernatural about it, but it isn’t easily explainable either. Her heart and soul call to mine. Her pain, her fear, they are mine.
But I need her to understand that her joy, her safety, and her heart—they are mine as well.” ~Trey
I sit with Bobby and some of his friends during lunch and it’s all pretty comfortable. They only ask me a few questions and nothing real personal, almost as if they can tell they wouldn’t get any answers anyways.
“What’s your next class?” Scott, a short, stocky guy that Bobby introduced me to asks.
“Health,” I answer.
“That’s any easy class. You don’t even really have to do anything, just show up,” Bobby tells me.
“From what I can tell, none of my classes are going to be tough.” I tell him, “You won’t hear me complaining.”
“Same here,” Scott says. “It’s a good thing because between football, my job, and my girl, I don’t really have time for classes.” Everyone laughs. Scott is easy to be around and talks constantly, which is great because it keeps me from having to.
The bell rings and everyone begins to gather their things. Bobby and Scott walk with me out and I have to admit that it’s nice not to walk around looking like a lost idiot.
“Hey, Bobby, there’s Nat,” Scott points out a curvy girl with long dark hair. Her back is to us and she appears flustered as she stands in front of a locker. I see Bobby’s face change subtly and know that this is a girl he’s either dating or interested in dating. He heads towards her and Scott follows. I shrug and follow. It’s not like I know where I’m going anyways.
“Hey, Nat,” Bobby says at we get closer to her.
She doesn’t turn to look at him as she speaks, “Hi, Bobby.” Her voice is filled with irritation.
“Is everything alright?”
Her shoulders drop and she turns around. Her lips are tight and her eyes are narrowed. If looks could mutilate, then our bodies would be shredded.
“No, things are absolutely not alright. I need to get into this locker and those bloody mother….,”
“Whoa, hey,” Bobby steps forward and puts his hands on her shoulders. “Let me help okay; don’t kill anyone just yet.” As Bobby moves her aside, the locker in question comes into view. I feel my gut tighten as my eyes narrow. My jaw tenses and I feel like my blood just might melt through my skin as the anger within me heats it up.
“There won’t be anyone left to kill when I’m done.” I say so low that I’m surprised they hear me. Bobby’s Nat suddenly notices me and her eyes widen.
“Freaking A, you’re him!” I hear her, but I can’t take my eyes off the locker. I can’t take my eyes off the picture of the bloody, broken girl, my girl, with tears streaming down her face and cuts all over. I see the initials above the picture and I feel my heart pounding all the way to my head. I can’t remember a time in my life when rage has consumed me until I couldn’t see straight. I step forward and Bobby steps aside, smart guy.
I reach up and grab
the edge of the picture and rip it off. The name plate comes next. My hands are shaking as I shove them both into my back pocket.
“Trey, man, are you alright?” I hear Bobby’s voice, but in that moment, I
can’t speak. I don’t know if anything that would come out would be rational.
“Trey, exactly.” Natalie’s voice comes from my right, “You’re Tally’s Trey.”
My head whips around and my eyes land on her. She takes a step back and Bobby moves closer, almost in front of her, as if she needed protection from me.
“You know Tally?” I knew the answer had to be yes since she had obviously been trying to get into the locker.
She nods and her eyes are wide as she stares up at me.
“Would someone please tell me what is going on?” Bobby asks.
“Tally met Trey over the summer, and they… she… he…,” She can’t seem to get her thoughts together and her words are a mess.
“Tally’s my girl,” I tell them using the words Scott had used to refer to his girlfriend.
A smile spreads across Nat’s face. “Yeah, exactly, Tally’s his girl.” She lets out a breath, “You have no stinking idea how glad I am to see you. And damn, you are one big dude.”
Bobby glances at her and frowns. Nat blushes under his stare and shrugs, “I’m just pointing out a fact.” She shakes her head in agitation, “The point is
, that Tally needs you. She won’t admit it because she’s as stubborn as a bloody mule.”
“Where is she?” I ask impatiently.
“She left, she went home, wait, no, that isn’t right,” Nat rubs her hands up and down her legs and Bobby wraps an arm around her waist pulling her close. She leans into him and finally seems to pull herself together, “Sorry, just a tad pissed. She said she was going to see Candy.” I could tell that she hoped that I knew what that meant because she obviously didn’t want to mention Mercy.
I started to turn to go, but I felt a hand on my arm. I glared down at the hand and then up at its owner. Nat pulled it away quickly, “Do you really think it’s a good idea for you to go see her like this?”
I knew she was referring to my anger, but there wasn’t anything on earth or anywhere else for that matter that was going to keep me from finding Tally.
Nat must have seen that in my eyes because she held her hands up, “Okay, I get it. But if you hurt her I swear I will, I will,” she growls and narrows her eyes at me, “I don’t really know what I will do just yet but believe me it will be utterly horrific.”
I don’t have anything to say in that moment because frankly, if I hurt Tally I would want Nat to do something utterly horrific to me.
~
My foot presses heavy on the gas petal and I have to force myself to slow down. I know it would only slow me down if I get pulled over and make it that much longer before I see Tally. My wheels screech loudly as I turn into the parking lot and whip into a space. My truck is barely in park as I open the door and slide out. I take a few good deep breaths as I try to calm down. I don’t want to scare her, but I can’t stop and get myself fully under control. I
won’t
be fully under control until I see her, see that she is alright.
I don’t give Mildred a first glance, let alone a hello as I stride past her. The first place I check is Candy’s room. It’s empty. I go to the rec room next. I notice that my mother isn’t there and neither is Candy or Tally. I’m heading towards the only other place I know to look when I hear Zeke’s deep voice.
“She’s walking out now.” I turn and look at him. He points to the front, where I had been only minutes ago. I must have literally just missed her. Zeke points to the back door. “Go out and around, you can head her off.”
“Thanks,” I give him quick nod.
“Take care of our girl,” Zeke tells me.
I bite my tongue from saying
you mean my girl
because I know he means well and he cares about Tally.
I see her just as I round the building. She’s walking up to a white BMW.
“Tally!” I yell across the lawn.
Her head snaps around and her eyes widen. I can tell she was definitely not expecting to see me. She’s backing up and I know that she is considering bolting.
“Don’t,” I say a little more sharply than I intend.
She stands still and watches me cautiously as I continue towards her. As soon as I’m within reaching distance, I pull her to me and wrap her in my arms. I’ve never taken this liberty; I’ve never really touched her because she always seemed so frightened. In that moment I
don’t care, I just need to hold her. I need to feel her against me. She is stiff and doesn’t return the hug, but I hold on. She must realize that I’m not letting go anytime soon because she finally relaxes against me, wrapping her arms around me. I close my eyes as I feel her arms tighten and I can’t help but wonder when the last time was that she had been held. I lean down and press my mouth to her ear. “We need to talk.”
She shakes her head and tries to pull away. “No, Tally, I’m not letting go. We are going to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” her words are muffled because her face is pressed into my chest.
“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say something that ridiculous. You’re going to get in my truck and talk to me.”
She pushes against my chest until she can look up at me. I see her tear streaked face and my heart clenches painfully.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Trey. There is nothing to talk about. I’m going home and Nat’s going to bring me my assignments and then I will sleep, get up, go to school, and do it all over again the next day.” She’s shaking as she talks and I can’t help but run my hands up and down her covered arms, hoping to comfort her.
“I’m sorry, but that’s not acceptable to me. I’ve spent the last week and a half in hell wondering if you were okay, wondering if I would see you again. Did any of that time together mean anything to you? Did you care about me at all?”
I see the battle waging in her eyes as she struggles with what to tell me. Her lips tighten and her forehead wrinkles.
“Don’t you dare lie to me.”
“Uhh!” She groans, “Why the hell are you so bossy? Can’t you just let it go?”
“No. Just talk to me, Tally. What is the harm in that? Can’t you at least answer the questions?”
She looks down at her feet and I stop myself from reaching out and lifting her face to look at me. I’ve missed her so much. I just want to see her face, but I’ve already pushed and maybe too far. I need to calm down.
“Yes,” she finally whispers.
“Yes, what?” I ask trying to soften my tone.
“Yes, it means something to me. Yes, I care about you.” She looks up at me and takes another step back. “But it doesn’t matter. We can’t be together, if that’s even what you’re saying you want.”
I can’t believe she even has to wonder what I want. Haven’t I made it blaringly obvious?
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter and we can’t be together?” I glance around her to the BMW behind her and then back at her. I realize that she must come from money. How else would she be driving a brand freaking new Beamer?
“Am I not good enough for you? Is that what you’re saying?” Anger laces my voice because the Tally I know would never think something so shallow.
“NO!” she gasps. “Of course not. How could you even think that?”
“What else am I supposed to think?”
“I think it would be obvious, Trey. Has it escaped your attention that I lied to you or have you not figured out that Candy isn’t my aunt and I wasn’t just visiting this place every day?” She motions towards the Mercy’s building. “I was a patient, Trey, a freaking patient in a psych hospital.”
“I am angry that you lied to me, but I understand why you did. What I’m trying to tell you is I don’t give a damn. It doesn’t change who you are to me.”
“Why aren’t you listening to me?” She rubs her forehead and her other hand clenches and unclenches. “How can you possibly want to be with someone like me, when you already have your mom who needs you? Can you honestly tell me that when you leave this place from visiting her that you would want to then have to deal with me?”
I’m speechless.
She has rendered me speechless. I only thought I was angry before. She honestly believes that I am so shallow? Her eyes grow wide as she watches my face. I feel my nostrils flare as I try to take in air and I glance away briefly in an attempt to get the rid of the look on my face at the utter horror at her words.
“You think so little of me?” I finally grate out.
“Trey,” she says gently as if she is attempting to calm a raging beast, which is not far from what I am in the moment. “I wasn’t meaning to insult you or question your integrity. Please understand that.”
“Whether you meant to or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that you did.”
“I’m sorry.” She is. I can see it in the slump of her shoulders and the forlorn look on her face. Tally doesn’t want to hurt me, but she’s also afraid that I will hurt her.
“I will accept your apology as long as you let me prove you wrong.”
She stands there quietly. Her eyes look everywhere but at me. She lets out an exhausted breath and I think she is finally coming to her senses.
“Then I guess I will just have to live with the fact that you won’t forgive me.” She turns and is in her car, backing out of the lot before I have time to even register what has happened. Her words
say one thing, but the look in her eyes says something totally different. She wants to be with me, I know she does. It is written all over her beautiful face. But I also see the terror there. She’s scared to death that I will walk away, that at some point I won’t be able to handle whatever it is that is going on with her.
I pull the picture from my back pocket and look at the girl, devastated and bloody.