31
Cameron’s life flashed before her eyes. She couldn’t believe this was actually how it all would end. All of a sudden, Jude came to mind. She should’ve been thinking about her family and friends — but he was the last person she would ever think about.
Damn. I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve made it work. I should’ve never given up on him.
Cameron’s strength slowly dissipated. She could feel her life slipping away with each painful second. Just when she thought the end was near, Jag lifted her head out of the water.
Cameron greedily sucked in air while coughing violently. She uncontrollably spit up water on the concrete near the pool. She wanted to get up and run from Jag, but she was too weak and afraid to move.
“Cam… I… I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s the meds. I—I stopped taking them.”
Cameron struggled to stand to her feet. When she finally gained her footing, she ran back inside the home and upstairs. She went to Journee’s room first. The minute she reached for the doorknob, Jag grabbed her from behind, whirled her around, and slammed her against the wall.
“She’s mine! Bitch, you will never take her from me!” he screamed. Journee was the last of his bloodline. He couldn’t lose her too. “If you try, I will kill you! Do you hear me?” Jag shook Cameron violently, causing her head to smack against the wall.
“Do you fucking hear me?!”
Cameron was suddenly knocked unconscious…
***
The following morning, Jag awoke to sounds coming from the sunroom. When he looked to his left, Cam was sleeping peacefully beside him. Instead of taking her to the hospital after knocking her out cold, he put her ass in bed like it wasn’t shit.
Jag slowly peeled the sheets off and walked out of the room. He knew it wasn’t the kids. Journee couldn’t walk and Justin never ventured through the house alone by himself.
Padding barefoot through the house, Jag slowly made his way towards the source of the noise. From where he was, he could clearly see someone sitting on the wicker rocking chair, staring out at the garden.
The fuck?
Jag thought about grabbing his gun, but reconsidered after noticing it was a young girl.
“Alessia?”
She didn’t look up at her brother when he walked in the room. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere.
“Alessia, is that you? Shit, you—you’re really here. I thought you were dead… I—I…”
“Would it have mattered if I was?” she asked. “You stopped caring and you know it. The only person you give a fuck about is that bitch. It’s because of her Joaquin and mom are dead.” Alessia finally looked up at Jag. “I thought about putting a bullet in her head while she slept. But I didn’t…”
“Don’t talk like that, Alessia.”
“Why?” she snapped. “It’s her fault, Jag! Everything is her fault!”
“But I love her,” Jag argued. “I love her so much. I’d die without her.”
“You are pathetic, big brother,” Alessia said in her native tongue. “What would our father think? What would Gambino and Joaquin think?”
“I don’t care what they’d think,” Jag argued. “I love her.”
From the hallway, Cameron watched as Jag talked to thin air. She knew then that he really had lost his mind.
32
Cameron quickly rushed back to the bedroom before Jag noticed her watching. Once inside, she grabbed her phone and pulled up the Internet. She struggled with recalling the name of his prescription medication.
“What the hell was it?” Cameron thought long and hard. As soon as she remembered, she pulled up the keyboard and typed it in the keyboard.
Quetiapine.
It was a drug used to treat schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and depression.
Oh my God.
Cameron covered her mouth. She felt like she really didn’t know Jag. She’d been living with a total stranger. How could he keep something so vital from her? How could he be so selfish and careless?
Cameron quickly ran to the closet and fetched her gun. She was just about to get dressed when he suddenly walked in.
Cameron jumped in alarm. She didn’t even hear Jag walk in the room. As a killer, he was skilled at moving in silence.
“What are you doing?” he asked. He’d just gotten done telling off his sister… or so he thought.
“Jag, I really don’t wanna have to hurt you… but I will. You need help.”
“What are you talking about?” Jag started to approach her, but Cam raised the gun and pointed it at his chest.
“Jag, I’m not fucking with you. Enough is enough. I’m serious as a heart attack this time. I’m taking the kids… we’re leaving.”
Jag surprised her when he started laughing. “Go ahead and try, Cameron. We both know how that ended last night,” he said. “Put the gun down, baby. It ain’t like you gon’ really shoot me.” He stepped closer.
“Jag, stop. I’m not going to ask you again. I don’t want to shoot you, but I will if I have to.”
Jag ignored her useless threat as he advanced on her.
Cameron’s shaky finger rested on the tripper. Without hesitation, she squeezed.
Click.
Click.
The gun was empty. Jag had removed the clip from it a while back. He’d also emptied her bank accounts. She would never outsmart him or catch him slipping. “I can’t believe you would’ve shot me,” he said, somewhat disappointed.
Knowing that she was capable of pulling the trigger pissed him off. Once he reached Cam, he slapped the gun out of her hand in anger. She broke down crying because she just knew an ass whooping was coming.
Jag didn’t hit her that time though. He gently grabbed her and pulled her towards the bed.
“No,” Cameron cried.
“Come on. I just wanna lay with you and hold you,” Jag said calmly. “We need to talk.”
Cameron
needed
to get the fuck away from his crazy ass… but it was harder than just walking out of the door.
Why is this happening to me? God, please help me,
she prayed.
Jag guided her to the bed and pulled her down onto it with him. He then rested behind her in a spooning position. He either didn’t notice or care that she was still crying.
“I have to be honest with you, Cam,” he said in a low tone. Jag had her thinking he’d been taking care of them with money from his savings and father’s trust. “I’m tired of the lies and keeping this from you. The truth is… I haven’t been going out of town to help my mother with her restaurant. My mother never had a restaurant. I’ve been lying to you for a year straight.”
“I don’t care,” Cameron cried. “I just don’t care.”
“You should,” Jag said. “I want you to know this — no, I need you to,” he stressed. “I’ve been working as a contract killer.”
“Please, just stop,” she begged. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“You need to, Cameron. You need to know how serious I am… and how far I’m willing to go to keep you. You and the kids are all I’ve got left. I cannot let you leave. And you can’t run from me, Cam. I’m paid to find and kill people. And I am really fucking good at what I do — exceptional even. I’m the best there is. There’s not a place on Earth you can flee to without me finding you, Cam,” he said. “My last target was in Shanghai. Shang-fucking-hai. Can you believe that shit? That’s when I stayed away for those two weeks? You remember that? It was the reason I missed Journee’s birth.”
“Just stop. Stop talking. You don’t have to tell me this, Jag. I really don’t wanna hear this shit.”
“You need to,” he told her. “You should know there is no walking away from me. There’s no running. There’s no hiding. There’s no Jude. You’re with me. And if you ever try to leave, I won’t just kill you, Cam. I’ll kill your son too.”
33
Briana expertly glided her tongue along Magyc’s thick, curved dick. He loved the way she sucked and French kissed the tip before deep throating him whole. She multi-tasked between slobbering him down and massaging his scrotum. Her attitude was shit, but she was a beast when it came to that head game. That was the primary reason Magyc couldn’t stay away.
While his heart was with Roxie, he was still a young nigga having fun. Briana sucked his dick every once in a while, and in turn he kept a few of her bills paid. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Briana, of course, hated the terms. She wanted Magyc — all of him, but he was devoted to Roxie. She always cursed him out for staying, and yet his dick ended up in that same mouth. She couldn’t get enough of his ass. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t leave him alone. Magyc had her wrapped around his finger, and he knew it.
“Damn, Bri. You a fuckin’ beast, girl. Swallow that shit.”
Briana gagged, licked, and sucked the nut right out of his dick like he was still hers. Subconsciously, she wanted to outdo Roxie at everything, even oral sex. She would never be enough to fully satisfy a nigga like Magyc. He was insatiable.
“Damn,” he breathed. She knew how to keep a motherfucker coming back. After getting his off, Magyc put away his flaccid penis, and buttoned his jeans.
“That’s it? What about me?” Briana asked, disappointed.
“I ain’t suckin’ ya puss. I don’t know who else you been fuckin’, girl.”
She sucked her teeth. “So it’s cool for me to suck your dick even though you be fucking Roxie? Nigga, you’re a trip. A fucking hypocrite.”
Magyc started to climb out the bed, but she stopped him. “I want some,” Briana smiled. “I can call up my girl, Tara. We could have another threesome like we used to back in the day. You used to love that shit.”
Tara and Briana were best friends that also didn’t mind eating each other out. It sounded fun, but it was really old news.
Been there done that,
Magyc thought.
Suddenly, his cellphone chimed, indicating an incoming text. The message was from Jude. He needed all his lieutenants to meet him. “I gotta dip real quick,” he told Briana.
“I don’t know why I even keep doing this with you. Next time I’m just not gon’ answer the phone or door for your ass. I swear you’re just a fucking user, Magyc.”
“Don’t start that shit, Bri. I get enough of that at home.”
“I don’t give a fuck. I’m so tired of you, Magyc,” she complained. “If you go back to that black ass bitch I’m done with you!”
Magyc ignored her as he walked to the front door. She was talking that shit now, but the minute he hit her up she’d be back on it. He wasn’t about to pay her threats any mind.
Briana childishly ran in front of Magyc to block him from leaving. Truthfully, she didn’t want him to go. She never did. “I’m not playing, Magyc.”
“I’m not either. Now get the hell out my way.”
When she didn’t get what she wanted, Briana pushed Magyc and hit him in the chest. She could be such a damn brat when she didn’t get her way. He did not believe in hitting women, so he grabbed her little ass and tossed her on the couch. “Chill, man.”
“Magyc, I swear on everything I’m done with you. I’m sick of your routine. You act like you can’t even spend fucking time with me!”
“Is that what you want? Some mufuckin’ time?” he asked. “Look, chill, a'ight. We can watch a movie or some shit. Then afterwards I gotta roll out.”
Briana beamed with joy. She was spoiled.
“Will that calm yo’ ass down?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. Go get the movie.” Magyc watched her ass jiggle as she sashayed to the bedroom to grab a DVD. He was tempted to hit that real quick, but there were more pressing issues at hand.
“You wanna watch a scary movie?” Briana called out from the bedroom. “I got some popcorn in the cabinet.”
Magyc quickly fled the apartment while she was preoccupied.
Fuck that movie and fuck her.
He’d gotten what he came for, and that was simply to blow off some steam.
Magyc fired up an L when he climbed in his ride. Briana sent him a series of nasty text messages, but he paid that shit no mind. “She’ll be a'ight.”
***
Jude called a few of his close workers to meet him at
U-Park
in East Point. Business was at an all-time high due to the massive influx of orders from his main connect in West Africa. The sub region was widely known as one of the biggest markets for stolen cars. The demand for black market wheels was extremely high. Jude needed his men to recruit new members in order to keep those demands met.
All eyes were on Jude when he swaggered in the bar; his swag was on a thousand. He looked handsome in a black Givenchy tee, fitted designer jeans, and a fresh pair of Yeezys. He’d grown his dreads back out; they were a few inches past his shoulders. He was finally starting to look and feel like his old self again.
Jude had been clean for over a year. He was on his grown man shit. Stacking chips and calling shots. Even though he was a single man, he hadn’t dated anyone since Cameron left. When she broke things off, it really took a lot out of him. Getting over her wasn’t easy. Hell, he still hadn’t. Nothing was the same, but he had to keep it thugging.
Cameron didn’t know it, but Jude had his cousin Tez checking on her from time to time. He kept Jude updated on what was going on in her life. When he found out she’d gotten pregnant by Jag, he was heartbroken. Unbeknownst to Cam, he paid a few people at the hospital under the table for a mouth swab on the day of her delivery. He knew that Jag wasn’t even present for it, and Jude thought that was fucked up.
At the time, he’d wanted to know so badly if Journee was his… but he froze up when the results finally came in the mail two weeks later. It had been three months and he still hadn’t opened the letter. The envelope sat on the wooden desk in his home’s office, its results a mystery.
Jude didn’t know if he was able to handle the truth. If Journee were Jag’s he’d be devastated. But if she were his, he’d be hurt that Cameron kept her away from him for so long, like she was doing with Justin. It wasn’t fair to him, but he respected her choice.
Magyc, Michael, and a few other main players met him at the bar. After briefly filling everyone in, they drank, ate wings, and shot the breeze about sports. They hung around for about two hours before finally dispersing. Jude was almost out the door when he noticed a new bartender on duty. He would’ve looked right past her, had it not been for him knowing her personally.
Essence.
Jude thought about leaving and not saying anything — but then they made eye contact. Their gazes stayed connected for a few seconds, as each person reminisced on their past.
Essence looked good. She’d even lost a couple of pounds. She had just started working there two weeks ago. Who would’ve known she would bump into a familiar face so soon? She hadn’t seen or talked to Jude since that fateful night at his house.
Suddenly, Jude felt obligated to apologize for everything he had done. Essence deserved that much.
“Gon’ head. I’ma catch up with you, bruh,” he told Magyc.
“A'ight.”
After exchanging dap, Magyc headed to his Roadster and Jag made his way towards the bar. Essence didn’t look very happy to see him.
“Hey,” Jude greeted.
Essence didn’t respond. She pretended she was busy wiping down the counter.
“Look, I know I’m probably the last mothafucka you wanna deal with now—”
“You got that right.”
Jude sighed deeply and ran a hand through his mid-length dreads. She wasn’t making it easy, but he deserved to be treated coldly.
“I ain’t gon’ waste too much of ya time, love. I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for all the fucked up things I did and said to you. I’d lost myself for a second… and I had hurt a lot of people without remorse — even ones closest to me. I know that I can never undo what’s happened, but at the very least I wanted you to know that I truly am sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that shit. You’re a good girl, Essence.”
She kept her head down so that he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. A flurry of old emotions came rushing back. Essence was at a loss for words. She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. Jude took that to mean, she was ready for him to get out of her face.
“That’s all I wanted to say. You take care of yaself, a'ight.” Jude turned and walked out of the bar.
“Who was that?” her female co-worker asked, being nosey. She’d been eyeing Jude since he walked in the place. “He fine as shit.”
Essence ignored her question as she watched him leave.
Jude was just about to hop in his McLaren when Essence called out his name from behind. He slowly turned around, surprised that she was walking up to him. Even after everything they’d been through she still loved and cared about him.
Essence had asked her manager for fifteen so she could talk to Jude. They couldn’t leave things the way they had ended.
“Wait, hold on a second,” she told him.
Jude did as she asked. When Essence finally reached him, she put her hands on her hips. “You wanna make it up to me? Take me out on a date,” she said.
Jude didn’t expect her to say that. Apart of him assumed she was going to cuss him out. It wasn’t like he didn’t have it coming.
“Take you on a date?” Jude repeated.
“Yeah. You single now?”
Jude paused. “… Yeah. Separated.”
“Cool. Let’s get together sometime. Catch up over drinks.”
Jude hesitated. It sounded so tempting. He gently grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. “I would love to do that… but I can’t.”
A look of disappointment swept over her face. “Why not?”
“’Cuz you deserve real love and respect. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give that to you.”
Essence smiled. “It’s never too late.” She couldn’t believe she was practically begging for him to give them another try. But the truth was, she missed him.
“I’m not gon’ string you along anymore than I already have, S. I still love my wife. And you deserve a nigga better than me, ma. Real shit.”