Authors: J. K. Rock
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Love & Romance, #Social Themes, #Dating & Relationships, #Camp Payback
“I used to act out to get
your
attention, you know. Not the whole world’s.” I sank down into one of the metal chairs and wished Javier was still sitting in the other one. “Now, I’ve hurt someone I care about.”
“The boy?” At least, I think that’s what she said. The connection broke up. “In the video?”
“Javier.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to share anything about him with my mother, but how much more could the Martineau family hurt him now? “He came here to turn things around for himself and I messed that up so many ways…”
“I heard he’s being kicked out of camp.” In the background, I could hear what sounded like a public address system at an airport—muffled flight numbers and times spoken fast and low.
“That’s not the worst part, Mom.” I laid my forehead on the edge of the wooden desk and stared at the floor. “While you guys have been prancing around looking for photo-ops, Javier has been trying to stay out of trouble so he could help his mother when she gets out of jail. He hasn’t lived with her for three years, but she was finally getting out and now—” God, I hated this. “Instead of being with her for his senior year of high school, he’ll be sent to a group foster home on the other side of the state.”
“Do you know her name, Alex?” A babble of voices swelled in the background behind her.
“Her name?” I shook my head and straightened. “Sofia, I think. But you’re missing the point. Javier needed to stay out of trouble this summer to get that chance and now—”
“What’s their last name?” Mom shouted through a sketchy connection.
My anger surged. “Ko-va-lev. Have you been listening? She’s not even a criminal. She wrote some bad checks and had a hard time raising her kid in a bad economy. Javier’s been stuck in foster care. But he really turned himself around and he’s this great cook—”
“Alex, I’m boarding now and have to go, but I’ll be there on Friday. We’ll talk more then.” She hadn’t lectured me, but had she listened? At all?
I wanted to smash something with my fist. I had so much emotion welling up inside me and no place to go with it. I swallowed back some of it with an effort and took a deep breath.
“Sure, Mom.” Why did I still try getting through to her? To either of them. “See you then.”
Hanging up the phone, I snagged a few more tissues and marched out of the office. I couldn’t think about Mom or boarding school or anything else right now. Because talking about Javier’s mom made me think about a very different phone conversation I’d had with her.
She’d wanted Javier to have fun while he was at summer camp. I only had two more days before my parents swooped in to drag me home, but between now and then, I was going to make sure he got to make some camp memories. Not so much with me, but with the rest of the kids.
I was going to make
West Side Scary
the best, most fun and exciting production Camp Juniper Point had ever seen. And Javier was going to be the star.
Alex
Something tall and furry brushed against me in our makeshift backstage Friday night.
“Way to go, Alex!” Jackie thumped my back with her werewolf claws. “The show’s awesome.”
I put a finger to my lips and shook my head. With only a thin curtain between us and the audience, there was little to muffle sound. Besides, I didn’t want to miss Javier and Brittany’s kissing scene. Luckily Gollum had agreed that Javier’s treatment was unfair, and allowed him this romantic acting scene. It’d hurt to watch them practice these past few days, but it was an important moment. For the sake of the scene, I wanted them to get it right. Preferably without tongue.
My nail polish tasted bitter as I gnawed on what was left of my thumb nail. Javier’s rich singing voice filled the room with a final note, and then he grabbed Brittany, pulled her close, and pressed his lips (muzzle, really) to hers.
“Breathe, Alex,” whispered Jackie.
But I couldn’t. Seeing him kiss another girl ripped a fresh hole in my heart every time. Yet when his eyes lifted, they met mine through the mask holes, their expression tender and full of longing. I melted a little inside. He meant that kiss for me.
Air rushed out, and I sagged against Jackie. How bittersweet. Now that Javier was finally ready to be with me, we were being separated. It’d be easy to blame Vijay or my parents or even Gollum. But I knew who was responsible for this mess.
Me
.
I blew Javier a kiss from the shadowed sideline and pulled the curtain closed to thunderous applause. The jabbering actors rushed off stage. With stern looks and hand gestures, I quieted them and got them back in place. After a quick set change organized by Trinity and special effects arranged by Rafe, Brittany was back on stage in no time. In the gloom, a strong hand slipped in mine and squeezed. Javier. He didn’t go back out for another couple of minutes. His breath was warm and close against my ear.
“Still wish you were my Maria,” he whispered.
“The show’s better with Brittany in the lead. That’s what counts.” I kept my voice quieter than the coughs and cleared throats in the audience.
He cupped my chin and brushed my mouth with his. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me, too.”
We jumped apart when Rafe tapped Javier’s shoulder.
“Here’s the head.”
Javier pulled off his mask and put on the replica head that added height since he was now looking out of the wolf’s snout.
“Remember to scrunch down and squirt the blood bag if it doesn’t go off automatically when Julian cuts off your head. Got it?” Rafael repositioned a Ziploc bag of ketchup and cherry JELL-O inside the snout.
“Got it.” Javier’s voice sounded muffled. It must be super-hot in there, and for the first time, I could see some benefit to not being in the spotlight. Directing wasn’t so bad.
I glanced at my watch. When I looked up, I caught Rafael giving Siobhan a kiss. Aw! I felt so happy for my friend.
“Places,” I hissed, and a few other cast members raced on stage with Javier.
I peeked through the slit between the wall and the material and spotted my mom during the
West Side Scary
climactic fight scene. She was here! I hadn’t been able to see her earlier, but then again, I’d been big-time distracted getting the production off the ground. Weird to be thinking about my mother when I was still at camp with my friends—but it felt strange to see her here solo. My parents never went anywhere alone, so this must be a serious 9-1-1 for her to have shown up by herself. Then again, maybe Dad was already in New York negotiating a new book deal over my latest life drama. Either way, it worried me. Mom looked smaller and less confident. But that might have been because we’d made everyone turn off and stow their cell phones. She must be going through serious withdrawal.
My attention returned to the stage, and I smiled at my friends’ theatrics in the wake of Tony’s—aka Javier’s—death. They growled and snarled and somehow still managed to sing and act like pros. Brittany delivered her final cautionary words with passion and a fierceness that made me glow with pride. For a moment, I imagined what it’d be like to take a bow as the scene ended, soaking in the enthusiastic applause and cheers now filling the room. But that wasn’t my role this time. This day belonged to the stars, and mine had definitely dimmed.
“Hey!” Brittany exclaimed when Javier dropped her hand, ran off stage, and into my arms. Before I could react, he dragged me on stage and planted me front and center.
“Everyone. This is our co-director Alex. Please show her your appreciation,” shouted Javier. He held up my hand like we were Olympic relay racers…and maybe we were. We’d run a marathon this past month.
Brittany gave me a hug and a bundle of pink roses and lavender. “Alex is the amazing director behind
West Side Scary,”
she said to the clapping assembly. “None of this would have been possible without her.”
If anything, the hoots and hollers got even louder. Tears threatened, but I swallowed them back. No way would I fall into a sobbing mess right now. This was my big moment. Maybe I didn’t deserve it, but even my mother had leapt to her feet, cheering loud enough for me to tell her voice from the rest.
Javier led me off the stage and into the milling crowd. Emily shouldered her way through the throng surrounding us, Yasmine and Brittany behind her.
“Way to go, home girl! That so didn’t suck like
Twi—
”
A gasp drowned out the rest of her sentence. Brittany’s eyes glowed from behind her vampire contacts. “You were so not going to say what I thought you were about to say.”
“She meant the
Twilight Zone
. Isn’t that right, Em?” Yasmine raised her eyebrows. “We were talking about it the other day. Remember the episode with the guy stuck outside the moving train…”
“It was a plane.” Emily’s gums flashed in a toothy smile, and Brittany relaxed. “Dr. Spock was on the wing dressed like a baby Wookie and…”
“Trippy,” Trinity murmured before wandering off to talk to Seth and his grandparents.
“No. Not Spock,” Rafael interrupted. He slung his arm around a glowing Siobhan. “It was Captain Kirk. I mean, William Shatner.” He held his fingers in a “V” sign. “Live long and prosper.” Siobhan’s adoring look earned her a kiss on the tip of her nose. “That’s the Vulcan salute. I’m a bit of a Trekkie.”
“Me, too,” sighed Siobhan. She plucked a tuft of leftover fur from behind Rafael’s ear.
Jackie and Piper made gagging sounds, but I only smiled. Even if my love life sucked, it felt good to see my friend so happy.
“Anyhoo.” Emily grabbed my hands and squeezed. “I’m proud of you, Alex. You did an amazing job tonight, and you are an inspiration to all the girls here. I think you’d be the perfect keynote speaker tomorrow night to introduce next week’s Girl Growth and Development seminar.”
I took an involuntary step back and felt Javier’s arm tighten around my waist. “I think you might have that twisted. Remember…I’m the girl
leaving
camp because of being punished. That’s hardly inspiring.”
Yasmine’s wooden arm bracelets clanked as she reached for me. “Alex, you are leaving a different person. You should feel so proud. Look at all you’ve accomplished.”
Her dark eyes locked on me, full of Yasmine-forcefulness, and I couldn’t hold back a smile. Yasmine had grown on me this summer. I’d miss her lecturing, do-gooder ways. They reminded me of the person I aspired to be some day. But really, who was I kidding? The girls at the seminar would laugh me off that stage.
“Yasmine should be your speaker. I’m definitely not qualified.”
Shaking my head, I backed away from the full-court press of pressure from Emily and Yasmine and accidentally bumped into my mom.
“What’s this about not being qualified?” Mom swept me in a hug. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie.”
I blinked over her shoulder at Javier. Had she lost wireless service? Why the sudden affection? And the compliment?
She squeezed my shoulders and pulled back, the dark circles under her eyes and her hollowed cheeks making me feel guilty for the long flight she’d taken. “You can do it, honey.” She reached over and shook Emily’s hand. “I’m Alex’s mother, Grace, by the way. And I agree with you. The younger girls can learn a lot from Alex.”
“From my mistakes.” I hung my head.
Mom tipped up my chin. “That’s how we grow. And we’ll talk about them later.” She exchanged a few quiet words with Emily for a minute before looping an arm through mine. “Please excuse us. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
Emily shooed some campers to make way for us. “Clear out. Mother-daughter heart-to-heart coming through.”
I cringed at the stares and cast Javier a despairing glance over my shoulder. His warm smile softened the regret I felt at leaving the rocking cast party we’d prearranged. Some of the cast members carried in the food and drinks we’d stowed backstage while others strung lights. One of the boys cranked some music, and vampires, werewolves and campers shuffled, swayed, and grinded as I walked an endless path out the door. Parting from Javier now was only a taste of what it would feel like later—when we said goodbye for real.
And wow. It would hurt.
Now, I had to deal with Mom’s come-to-Jesus talk, no matter how supportive she acted publicly. Time to face the music, not dance to it.
“How about over there?” Mom gestured to some picnic tables appearing through the trees near the lake.
I couldn’t make out her features in the softening gloom, but she looked serious. Didn’t we always have our family blowouts behind closed doors? Public disagreements weren’t part of the
Wholesome Home
image.
I followed her down the path and sat on the worn wooden bench. The evening air smelled pine-fresh with possibilities, even though I’d run out of them. My arms gave each other a hug. Now that we were alone, I wouldn’t be getting any more.
A soft, hiccupping sound came from Mom’s direction across the table. I stared at the tears streaming down her cheeks. I’d been ready for the lecture, prepared for the blame, braced myself for the punishment…but this…this I hadn’t expected. And it hurt. I’d wounded Javier. Was Mom another of my casualties?
I groped for her left hand, and it felt lighter than usual. She’d lost weight. But more than that…I noticed her wedding and engagement bands were missing.
“Mom, where are your rings?”
Her shoulders shook harder, and I rushed to her side of the table. With my arms wrapped around her, my face pressed against her trembling back, I felt her fragility for the first time. Strange how I’d always seen her as this tower of strength. But her foundation seemed to have crumbled. Were her rings off because my parents’ marriage was over? Had my actions made them fight and break up? Guilt flooded me. I’d wanted to pay back my parents for sending me away to school and publicizing my screw-ups on their blog, but I’d never wanted
this
. For the first time I realized how much I wanted a family—wholesome or not.
“Your father and I have separated.” Her tremulous voice sounded younger and less sure than I’d ever heard it.
I squeezed her tighter around the waist, and her cold fingers laced through mine.
“Mom, I didn’t mean to cause you guys so many problems. Please don’t split because of me. You’re great parents. I’m the failure. Me.” My voice lodged in my throat at the end, my last word louder than the rest as I forced it out.