Cancelled (19 page)

“I can tell you about her—” Alex held her hand up.

“I know enough, for now.” Her state of undress registered as it was now after eleven. Any other day, she'd excitedly call him back to the bedroom for practice at making a baby, but not today. She felt cheated on. She knew he didn't technically cheat. But he had betrayed her trust.

“Why don't you get dressed while I finish cleaning up the kitchen. Anna still hasn't seen you since getting back in town, I'm sure she'd love to meet for lunch.”

Alex nodded and disappeared back upstairs. She envisioned wearing her new white suit dress with the faded metallic gold jacket for lunch. It would match her gladiator sandals that were her favorite for summer city walking. Lunch with Anna was a great plan. Searching her heart, she felt a need to reassert herself in Johnathan's life before entertaining notions of opening her doors to his daughter.

Using wet fingertips to revive her limp curls, she pierced her reflection with an intent stare. She squashed the feelings of disgust with herself; disgust that she still wanted to marry him but tell him to give the baby up.

The end of June in DC was a hot one. Johnathan envied Alex in her short, white dress. Only Anna would choose one of the most expensive lunch spots in town, and the dress shirt and tie Johnathan wore aggravated him all the more. Not to mention the silent, walking-on-egg-shells ride to the other side of town.

“You look gorgeous! Dior?” Anna greeted Alex before Johnathan, taking extra time to fawn over her ring that she had put on just before leaving the car. Alex gave a terse thanks to Anna's compliments.

The airy, indoor courtyard, thankfully pumped with central air, was only half full this late in the Saturday lunch hour. Ushered quickly to a table, Johnathan ordered the fried green tomato BLT with remoulade.

“Should you be eating fried food for a third time this week?” Alexis raised her eyebrows at her fiancé before settling on a green goddess salad for herself.

“Already on him about his figure for the wedding?” Anna laughed while Johnathan sulked.

“No, just if I can't cheat on our diet, then neither can he.” Alex stared down at her hands in her lap. An awkward silence fell over the table. Waiters began transitioning empty tables with new cloths and settings for dinner.

“Any plans about the wedding? I'd love to hear them.” Anna took a sip of her water with a lemon wedge floating under the ice.

“We're doing a 1920s theme.” Johnathan joined the conversation after Alex not only remained quiet, but defiantly looked away from Anna to gaze at the rest of the restaurant.

“No, we're not. You turned that down.”

“No, I said I didn't want to wear a Fedora hat,” he said.

“No, you said it wasn't a sorority mixer and there would be no theme.”

“I don't believe that's what I said.” Johnathan took a sip of his own water.

Anna watched the aloof exchange before her, and leaned back slightly as the food arrived. “Well, whatever your theme is, I'm sure it will be lovely.” Anna grabbed Alex's hand as she finally pulled them up onto the table to eat. Locking eyes with her future daughter-in-law, she filled her voice with sincerity. “Please, you must let me throw you both an engagement party. Yes?”

Alex nodded and dug into her salad, making sure to keep her mouth full while Johnathan was left to continue a conversation with his stepmother.

After a painful forty minutes, Anna finally shooed Johnathan away to get the cars while she paid the bill. He protested her paying, but when Anna gave him a hard glare, he stopped arguing. He was no more than a few paces when he heard Anna start grilling his fiancée.

“Alright, spill it.”

“I'm sorry?” Alexis responded, confused by the demand.

“You have sat here and moped the entire lunch, a lunch meant to celebrate your engagement. Unless I'm misinformed and this is an arranged marriage, I don't see any reason for your moping.” Anna was firm, but kept a smile behind her eyes.

“Johnathan is having a baby with another woman.”

“Ah, so he finally told you.” Anna absently drummed her fingers on the table.

Alex sucked in her breath. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew, he called me in Paris to come home early.” Anna turned Alex's own intention to shock right back on her. “He agonized over when to tell you. He was afraid to say anything and end up not being the father, and then when he did find out for sure the baby is his, you two had just become engaged and he didn't want to ruin it.”

“That's mostly what he said this morning.”

“Well you're here, so I assume it doesn't change things for you.”

“I don't know. I didn't want to make a fast decision. I don't know what it means.”

Anna pursed her lips. She hadn't expected that Alex only found out this morning. “May I give you a piece of advice?”

Alex nodded.

“The decision is whether or not he's worth it. If he is, then you play your part and give love to both of them. If he isn't worth it, leave now. Don't drag it out. Because you will hurt both of them.”

“But it's not the same, is it? I mean, Johnathan was five when you became his stepmother, right?”

Anna smiled. This poor girl didn't have a clue. “And imagine how much easier things would have been if I had been a mother to him from day one.” Anna rose from the table as Johnathan waved from the entry way. Both cars were waiting in the valet pull up.

After opening the door for Alex, Johnathan bade his stepmother goodbye. The car rounded the first corner as Alex broke into sobs.

“Alexis, what's the matter? Did she say something to you?” Johnathan alternated his focus on his future wife and the traffic around him. He ignored a few angry honks as he pushed his way into the left lane on the busy city street. The exit for the highway was coming up.

“Did everybody know before me?” Alex continued to cry, without showing any signs of reigning her emotions back under her control.

“What do you mean? About the baby? Nobody knows about the baby.”

“Eric did. Anna did. But not me. I was the only one you didn't tell.” Alex finally rummaged for tissues in her purse.

“First of all, I didn't tell Eric, he found out from Callum. And Anna found out when I did because I needed her advice. Remember the blonde girl who visited my office that day you had lunch with Kyle? That's when she told me she was pregnant.”

“What is her name?”

“Kellie Szachowski.”

“How old is she? She looked young.” Alex sniffed.

Johnathan braked to stop before the yellow light as the intersection in front of him was clogged with cars. “Twenty I think, maybe twenty-one.”

“You don't know?”

“No, I haven't really asked her. I don't have a relationship with her outside of the going to the baby appointments.”

“Oh.” Alexis gripped the fast food napkin she had found in her purse tightly.

Johnathan used the few moments stopped at the red light to face Alex. He used his thumb to wipe away one last tear from her right eye and cupped her cheek in his hand. “It's always been you. Just you. Even when I was dating Madeline, I was never going to marry her. I was waiting for the day when you'd notice me as more than a friend, and when that day came, I grabbed it. I need you Alex. And I'm sorry about the baby. But I didn't do it on purpose.”

Alex nodded as Johnathan resumed driving when the light turned green. “Okay. You're worth it.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Never mind” Alex stared out the window.

Johnathan swerved back across the lanes of traffic to the far right lane, prompting another round of angry honking. The car bounced forcibly over the steep little hill into a fast food restaurant's parking lot. Johnathan braked slightly, peeling into the nearest empty space.

“Let's do something. I don't want to go home. Not yet. Do you?” Johnathan turned in his seat to face Alex. If they went home, he was pretty certain the fight would just continue. She shook her head.

“What do you want to do?”

Neurons fired frantically in Johnathan's brain. What could they do? His conversation from yesterday morning about registering for the baby popped up. Weddings had registries! “Why don't we start our registry? Anna wants to throw us an engagement party, right? Won't she want us registered somewhere?”

“Yes.” Alex finished her reply with a sniff. She flipped the passenger side visor down and tried to fix her raccoon eyes. “Where?” She kept her gaze in the mirror unless she was rummaging for a cosmetic in her purse.

Johnathan cranked the car back over and placed his hands on the steering wheel. “Uh, I have no idea. Tyson's?” He fell back on his old-standby mall.

“There's chains there.”

Johnathan backed the car up and pulled into the drive-through lane. Alex stopped applying concealer and finally looked at him.

“I thought we're going shopping?”

“I'm thirsty.” Johnathan used a raspy voice to mimic a dry-throat. Alex cracked a smile.

“You know, we could shop for the house, too. Maybe look for furniture we can agree on.”

“What about the two sets we already own?”

“Donate them.”

Johnathan bit his tongue at how wasteful that would be. Instead, he leaned over his console and met her 80/20 percentage-wise for a chaste kiss. “Whatever you want.” Then he turned and answered the garbled voice asking for his order.

Two hours of scanning items with a gun fried Johnathan's brain. They had picked out a china pattern, dining accessories, a casual dining set, casual and formal flatware sets, more pillows than he thought they could ever need, and were heading towards the living room sets. At this rate, the VA was going to get every possession he owned.

Prepared for a showdown over the furniture, his modern styling wasn't meshing with Alex's traditional tastes on anything. And the winner was clearly Alex. He had a gold-trimmed rose china pattern registered to show for it.

“What do you think about this?” Alex made a beeline for the same uncomfortable couch style Johnathan already sat on nightly.

“Nearly identical to what we have now. I want something we can lounge on.”

Alex looked down at the couch she sat on, rubbing her hands across the fabric. “This is completely different. This is microfiber, not silk.”

“Come on, let's check out the leather section.”

Alex wrinkled her nose. “I am not owning a leather couch. That's so bachelor pad.”

“And silk upholstered items scream a woman who's single.” Johnathan regretted his words in an instant. Alex walked past him, clearly giving him the cold shoulder. Again.

“Wait, I just meant silk isn't very practical. Not for a family.” He smacked his forehead with his hand. Where was all of this mouth vomit coming from? He watched for signs of new tears, but instead Alex began trying out the leather sofas.

After bouncing on a few, she found a chocolate one trimmed in both leather and microfiber. Without a word, she scanned the tag.

“Wait, don't I need to check it out?” Johnathan flopped on the chaise side as Alex jumped up.

“It's leather. Like you wanted.”

And brown and microfiber, like you wanted.
But this time, Johnathan kept his mouth shut. Both naturally headed back towards the front of the store through the small electronics section. Johnathan wanted to play with all of the gadgets and gizmos, but Alex declined.

“Our kitchen is already too small. We don't have room.”

Johnathan was inclined to agree until he saw it. The deluxe one cup coffee maker Eric just bought for work. He had to have one. It used expensive little cups, but making a cup of coffee took seconds.

He grabbed the scanning gun from Alex, thrusting the suggested registry list into her hands, instead.

“Wait, what are you—” she stopped when she saw him scan the coffee maker and three boxes of the specialty coffee cups in one swift motion.

Wearing a smug smile, he twirled the scanning gun before handing it back to her.

“Want to get some coffee?” he laughed and pulled her into an embrace. She didn't stiffen. Things weren't okay, but they would be. He hoped.

13

G
etting through the weekend was tougher than Johnathan imagined. Every word or phrase was a potential Molotov cocktail. Without any secrets, he found mentions of his coming daughter fell a little too naturally into his conversations. Almost giddy to go back to work on Monday, his high was short-lived when Alex shooed him out the door and insisted she was working from home.

As his laptop booted, Johnathan called Simms and left a message. It was time Nancy Jean answered for her crimes.

Missing a day and a half of work last week equated to twelve emails sitting in his inbox from Bob at Hedis. First, the Hedis engineering team wanted clarification on a drawing for the control circuitry. On second thought, they also wanted a detailed analysis of the testing on the circuitry for uptime in adverse weather conditions. The third email was about billing sent on Friday without the proper supporting documentation. That was Alex's department, so there wasn't much he could do there.

Finally through all twelve emails and armed with his to-do list, Johnathan realized this was going to kill his Monday. He pushed a button and buzzed Eric's office phone. When no one answered, he groaned and made the physical trip back to the Cave.

It was already 9 AM and Eric's office was still locked. This was strange. He pulled his cell phone to call Eric, aggravated when he received the familiar voicemail message.

“Hey Zach, did Eric call in to say why he isn't here?”

Zach shook his head, making Johnathan audibly sigh. He shrugged at Zach and walked back to his office. Snatching up his office phone, he pressed the button to call Alex's cell. She picked it up in one ring.

“You have any idea where Eric is?”

“Good morning to you, too,” she said. Johnathan could hear eating noises on the other side. That was a good thing since she ate like a bird most of the weekend. “He's over at Neimer Fabrications, our new account.”

“What? Since when do we do business with them?”