Cancelled (28 page)

“Is Ms. Szachowski still here?”

“Yes, she won't be discharged until tomorrow.”

“I need to see my daughter. Would you be able to tell Kellie I'll visit her after? I'd like to talk to her first before bringing the baby.”

Rose placed a firm grip on Johnathan's left wrist. It was exposed from holding his draped coat in front of him. “Thank you, Mr. Michaels. I won't promise her anything, but thank you for helping my patient.”

Johnathan gave her a nod and returned her smile as much as he could.

By arriving so early in the morning, the proud new father interrupted the hospital's pediatrician making her morning rounds. Dr. Khan saw Johnathan approach his daughter's new plastic bin, and replaced the chart of the baby she was working on. Clicking her pen and returning it to her coat pocket, she made a point to greet Johnathan as he scooped up his crying daughter.

“How long has she been crying like this?” Johnathan asked, confused by all of the crying babies around him, yet all of the staff going about business as usual.

“It's okay for her to cry. She's probably just hungry. We woke her up to examine her.”

“Does she still need special formula? I can feed her.”

“Actually, that's what I wanted to speak to you about. Charlotte's mother has pumped breast milk and had it delivered to the nursery.”

Johnathan moved to interrupt about the drug use, but Dr. Khan smiled and stopped him. “It's okay, we all know little Charlotte's circumstances. Her milk was tested for toxins and found completely clean. We would never allow a mother on drugs to nurse her baby.”

“The breast milk is safe?”

Dr. Khan opened the small refrigerator of expressed milk and found the clearly labeled bottle from Kellie Szachowski.

“It's not only safe, I recommend using it. A mother's early milk is full of vitamins and immunity that will help your daughter immensely.”

“Do we need to nuke it?”

“No, no. Microwaving destroys the proteins and antibodies in the milk. You can warm it up in water if you choose, but can I give you some advice?” Dr. Khan raised an eyebrow at the anxious father. He nodded involuntarily. All of this was so new to him. “Get her used to cold milk. It will save you on those midnight feedings where she's screaming and you're half awake trying to warm a bottle.”

“Oh.” Johnathan cradled Charlotte in his left arm and tried to get her to take the bottle. At first, she kept squirming and wailing.

“Tease her lips a little. Eating is a new skill for her.”

Johnathan used the small bottle's nipple to tease Charlie's lips. Finally, the little girl's eyes opened wide and she latched her mouth onto the nipple, sucking away.

“Good. Good.” Dr. Khan returned to the rest of her tiny patients.

“Um, Dr. Khan? Any idea on when Charlie can go home?”

Lifting the red folder holding the chart of the next baby, Dr. Khan flipped the plastic cover over to review the numbers. “If everything goes well again tonight, I don't see any reason why you can't take her home tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Johnathan's voice cracked, involuntarily.

“She's thriving. We were concerned at the beginning, but she wasn't premature. Technically, she's considered full-term, but the circumstances of her birth prompted our extra caution. All in all, it's remarkable she didn't suffer any ill-effects from the accident.”

“Accident?”

Dr. Khan frowned. “The baby's mother said she didn't use during the pregnancy, and that whatever she took in that club was an accident. Your daughter's health and the clean breast milk tells me she's telling the truth. If she had been a regular user, that milk wouldn't be clean. Not yet.”

“I know.”

“I see too much here. Honestly, when Charlotte was born, my staff expected the worst, and no one ever expected to see her father. It just doesn't happen in cases like these.”

Johnathan didn't answer. He needed a tougher skin about being a dad stepping up the as the primary caregiver. He returned his gaze to his child, slurping away in his arms.

“I'm sorry. I've said too much. I hope everything works out for Baby Charlotte. She's definitely a fighter, that one.”

Johnathan lifted his face to smile at the doctor. “So is her mother.”

Rocking Charlotte in his arms, Johnathan found his way to the glider in the corner. Ten minutes later, his daughter's eyes fluttered and the sucking stopped. Gently, he tugged the bottle out of her mouth with a tiny popping sound, leaving her mouth in the shape of an “O.” He placed her back into her bin and covered her with the light receiving blanket. He realized she was still wearing the same dirty little T-shirt from yesterday, but he would take care of that when she woke up.

After letting the nurses know where he was going, he grabbed his bag and coat, ready to face Kellie. Finding her room on the other side of the ward in the recovery unit, he gently knocked on the door.

Kellie opened the door with an elated look on her face. She peered around Johnathan, her smile faltering when she didn't see her baby.

“I didn't bring Charlotte with me. She's sleeping.”

“Oh. Well, come in.” Kellie retreated into the small room, pushing her IV back around the bed before she climbed into it.

“Are you okay?” Johnathan entered the room and sat in the only chair. He motioned towards the IV.

Kellie's eyes flickered, tears welling up in them. “Yeah. I'm fine. The drugs dehydrated me so they're just being careful.” She looked down at her baggy sweat pants.

Johnathan didn't know where to start, so he asked after her. “Are you, are you going to be in any trouble?”

Kellie shook her head and swallowed. “Dad found me a criminal lawyer. The medical records are sealed, and since there was nothing wrong with the baby, I'm not being charged. But...”

“But?”

“The lawyer said I would have to fight to get custody of her. That it probably wouldn't even happen because of you. And I can't work in a pharmacy.

Johnathan side-stepped the opening about custody. He wasn't ready to share the paperwork he carried with him. He needed to know more about what happened. “Why can't you be a pharmacy tech?”

“My licensing paperwork asks whether I've ever taken illegal drugs. I can't lie. They could ask to see my medical records as part of a background search.”

Johnathan was confused. “But wait, weren't you using before you got pregnant? What about the night we met?”

“No! That wasn't meth! It was a formula of Callum's own making, all legally available medications and herbs. We wouldn't be stupid enough to take something police can trace.” Kellie stared at Johnathan with a look of incredulity. “You thought that was meth?”

Johnathan's cheeks burned. How did he become the one on trial? “No, but...I didn't know what it was. I don't remember much about that night.”

Kellie began laughing. “That wasn't the pills. You were drinking non-stop.”

The pattern of blue and pink tiles in the white linoleum floor suddenly became very interesting to Johnathan. He was embarrassed. He needed to turn the tables back on Kellie. “So how did you end up taking meth if you don't use?”

“Pharmacology school's expensive. Callum deals on the side to pay for what his loans won't cover.” Kellie's voice was forced. “He isn't a bad guy. I mean, it's minor sales to the rich kids in clubs. But you can't tell anyone! The nurses and even my lawyer tried to get me to give a name of my dealer. But he isn't my meth dealer. I don't do meth.”

Johnathan pinched his eyes shut. She was defending him. “But how did you end up taking it?”

“Did you know it was my birthday?”

“No, you never told me.”

Kellie stared her IV line. “21. Nine months pregnant. I couldn't even have a drink.” Johnathan waited while Kellie chewed her words carefully. “I was going to invite you, you know. It's why the baby shower was that Sunday, to cheer me up. I was upset, not knowing about you and her, and my friends took me out.”

Johnathan nodded. He felt a renewal of the guilt over not telling Kellie about Alex. He still didn't know why he never told her, and the excuse that it wasn't her business seemed even thinner now.

“I was more swollen than usual, thanks to the heat wave and being on my feet all day. Callum made me an all-natural herbal remedy that helped. Based on chamomile and lemon balm extract. Totally safe.” Kellie made a movement with her hands that vaguely resembled the sign for safe from baseball, reinforcing her words. “Anyway, they were red capsules. I asked one of our friends to get me one. Only...” Kellie took a deep breath. “Callum ran out of white pill casings, so the meth was changed to red. But none of us knew! He wasn't right there, and it was dark. It was an accident.”

Johnathan pushed up in his seat, seething with anger. So it was Callum's fault–his daughter could've been killed! Who was he to be making Kellie herbal remedies and not clearly marking everything?

“Wait, it's not his fault.” Kellie struggled to lift herself from the bed with a little difficulty. A look of surprise crossed her face and then she grimaced. “Johnathan, please. It was all an accident. Callum feels awful.” Kellie stood gingerly from her bed and began wheeling the IV towards the restroom. “Can you help me?”

Johnathan followed Kellie's nod to the bathroom door. He quickly grabbed the silver hooked handle and popped the door open. “Are you okay? Do I need to get a nurse?”

Kellie shook her head, her face turning a slight shade of red. “I just need to clean up a little. It's normal.”

Johnathan sat down back in the chair and waited on Kellie. His right leg bounced from his toe tapping on the linoleum floor. How was she going to take his deal?

As he heard the toilet flush, he steeled himself for her return. No judge was going to sign off on full visitation, not in these circumstances. Maybe he could get her to sign if he concentrated on how they could change the agreement later on, when things cooled down.

Kellie washed her hands in the sink outside of the bathroom. Johnathan helped her back to the bed.

“When I can see our baby?” Kellie's eyes glistened with tears. “Please, I would never, ever hurt her.”

“I know.” Johnathan bent down to pull the papers from his bag. He handed them to Kellie. “If we take it to court, the judge is going to want to take away your rights. My lawyer drafted these, giving you supervised visitation with Charlotte. I know it says in there one hour per day and three hours on weekends, but you can see her whenever you want, Kellie. I won't keep her from you.”

Big, fat teardrops raced down Kellie's cheeks. She swiped them with her left hand and reached for Johnathan's pen with her right. He held it back.

“You have to sign with a notary, there's one in the hospital.”

“Thank you.”

“Don't thank me, yet. You need to read those papers. It also requires six-months of drug testing. I won't lie and say I wasn't furious with you. If I don't think you are being responsible, I won't change these papers to give you joint-custody and overnight visitation down the road.”

“You mean I can't have her overnight?”

“Not at first. I'm sorry. I want to trust you, I do. And I believe you. But I can't risk another accident jeopardizing Charlie's life because of your friends. What about a few months from now, Callum comes over to visit and our daughter crawls over to his bag and eats the red candy?”

Kellie's eye widened in horror. “I didn't think about it like that.”

Johnathan sat on the edge of her bed and brushed a long tendril out of Kellie's soaked face. “You wouldn't. You didn't grow up with a messed up mother. Anyway, think about the paperwork and just get them back to me tomorrow.” He leaned over Kellie's head and grabbed the phone attached to the wall to ask the nursery to bring Charlotte to the room.

As the nurse wheeled in the baby, Charlotte Grace Michaels screamed as loudly as she could. Johnathan inspected his daughter's diaper finding it fresh. He scooped her up and tried to shush her, gently rocking her as he carried her over to her mother. Still, the young lady howled.

“Is she hungry?” He said over his shoulder to the nurse.

“No, she just ate another ounce and a half.”

As he handed Charlotte to her mother, Kellie's face broke into the biggest smile only a new mother could have upon presentation of her child. In seconds, Charlotte snuggled to her mother's chest and quieted. If Johnathan hadn't witnessed his daughter recognizing her mother on instinct, he never would have believed the bond could be that strong. He leaned down and gave Charlotte a kiss on the forehead.

“I can step out for a minute, and give you some time alone with her.” He began to walk towards the door.

“Please, don't? Stay here with us. It's our family.” Kellie kept her big smile and continued to tear up.

Johnathan smiled back, and returned to the space he previously occupied on the edge of the bed by Kellie's feet. She was right. This was his family.

18

A
flick of his phone and Johnathan returned to double checking Charlotte was 100% secure in her car seat carrier. The little girl couldn't have cared less as she slumbered away on a full belly of her mother's milk. Kellie finished rounding up the last of her things into her duffel bag, arguing with her mother on her cell phone.

“No, I don't need you guys. We're going back to his stepmother's house so I can see her settled in....Yes, Johnathan will bring me home after.....Yes, he said you could see the baby tonight.” Kellie rolled her own eyes but frantically ended the conversation as Johnathan motioned towards the door. “Mom, I need to go, we're leaving now.” Kellie ended the call and threw the phone in her bag.

Johnathan lifted Kellie's duffel onto his left shoulder and popped the baby carrier into the stroller frame that matched it. Kellie stepped into the wheelchair that was hospital policy and followed behind Johnathan as an orderly pushed her to the pickup area.

Anna rushed around the idling Mercedes to check briefly on her granddaughter.

“Mom, she's okay. I just want to get her home.” Johnathan snapped the carrier into the base, and helped Kellie in to sit on the other side. He didn't want to admit it, but he was already losing favor with his infant daughter in exchange for her mother.