Candescent (The Opalescent Collection Book 1) (30 page)

              I wondered where Jasper was. I thought of the gargoyles that were probably downstairs, nestled at the doctor’s feet. I wished mercy on my Dragon’s Soul and hoped the stone I threw in the ocean had reached the bottom. I hoped he found peace in being close to Catastrophe’s core. I thought about Caspian and Amelia, remembering that I wanted to wish him luck with Amelia’s reincarnation. I thought about Taj’, Princess Pearl, and their children, wondering if they remained safe when Sebastian attacked. I would never know if they came back, or if they already were.

              At last, I shook my head from the overwhelming thoughts, my last thoughts. I couldn’t think anymore. I didn’t want to. My eyes shifted up to my Eternal Mate again. It appeared to me that he was stirring in his sleep. His eyes opened and he stared down at me. I only thought I was hallucinating.

“Chenille? Chenille what happened? Where am I?”

“You’re home, at your palace where you belong.”

“Did I do it? Did I destroy Sebastian?”

“Yes, he was destroyed. Jasper destroyed him as you wanted.”

“Where are the Allies?”

“They left a little while ago. They’re going back home.”

“Where is Jasper?”

“I don’t know. The last time I saw him was when you did.”

“I didn’t think I was going to wake up,” he said honestly.

“No one thought you would.”

              He smiled weakly, nudging me with his hand. “You don’t look very well.”

“I’m not well.”

              He looked down at his hand where the Ceremonial Rings rested. He gazed over them and shot a glance to me.

“I gave you my ring. Why don’t you have it on? Why is it in my hand?”

“I gave it back. I gave you Fitzray’s ring too. I couldn’t keep them. It’s best that you have them.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I am not worthy of them.”

“What are you talking about? You are my Eternal Mate. We performed a Ceremony together. We deserve these rings.”

“No. You don’t know what they symbolize. The night of the Trial…that was an excuse. That wasn’t a Ceremony,” my voice trailed off.

“You believe we weren’t committed to a Ceremony?”

“It was just to save you.” I saw the pain in his eyes. I didn’t want to lie to him.

“Then why do you look so sad?”

“I know it’s hard to face the truth Pete-,”

“No,” he interrupted. “You are the one not telling the truth. Why are you lying to me? I know you wanted a Ceremony with me deep down. There must be another reason.” His face became tight and puzzled. “Why do you want me to be angry with you? Do you want me to hate you?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

He struggled to sit upright and bent his neck down to look at me. “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”

“Maybe if you were angry you would leave…and you wouldn’t see me like this.”

“Like what? You aren’t making any sense. I’m not angry. I never was. What’s wrong?”

“I’m dying,” I replied helplessly. Pete turned me over and saw how weak and pale I was. He bit his lips, pressing them together in shock. He was gathering his thoughts with anger and confusion.

“It can’t be true. It
isn’t true
.” He touched me in disbelief.

“Where is Caspian? Caspian! Come quick!” he yelled.

“Caspian won’t come. I told him to leave me alone. He couldn’t watch me suffer any longer so I told him to go. He couldn’t help me.”

“What cursed nightmare am I dreaming now? Why won’t I wake from it? This isn’t true. My own Eternal Mate wouldn’t kill herself,” he cried.

“I didn’t know you were going to wake up. I just wanted to be next to you when I died. I liked the idea of being beside you, even if I was to never see you again.”

“What did Caspian tell you?”

“He couldn’t tell me much. I know I don’t have much time. I can feel it.”

“I don’t know why you would do this to yourself. Was it me? Were you so devastated just thinking that I was never going to wake up? You didn’t want to rule alone and I knew that. I worried about that. Sebastian’s destruction was very overwhelming, I know. I know he must have tricked you and promised you things. I know he starved you and we weren’t quick enough. I know it was hard to hear our plan, that we would consider killing you to destroy him. And I am sorry about everything.”

“It’s too late to be sorry now. What’s done is done. I am already dying and I cannot change that.”

“There must be a way to save you. There has to be something I can do. You can’t leave me now, not now. I just woke up.” He pleaded.

“Yes, but at least you did wake up. You know who you are. Everyone was afraid that you would wake up as someone else. You were right. You woke up as my Eternal Mate.”

“Please tell me why. Please tell me why you did it. What happened?”

“I was upset when Sebastian was destroyed and when I was told that you may never wake up. I was warned that if you did, you wouldn’t be yourself. I was taken home after you destroyed Sebastian. The next day I had a feast with my Allies. We all talked about you, about Sebastian, and we became foolish. The plumeberry juice made them say things they didn’t mean to say. I was sure that without the influence of that juice, no one would have acted the way they did or said what they did.” I pressed my lips together. I would not even mention Raven. “That was last night. Last night I found the pouch. I don’t know what drove me to steal it. I don’t know what could’ve possibly made me swallow it. And when Caspian came like I knew he would, he was too late to stop me. I didn’t want to be stopped. If you didn’t wake up I would have gone in silence like I expected to.”

There was a silence that formed between us, an uncomfortable silence. He let my words sink in before he could think and respond.

“What did you take?”

“According to Caspian it was a poisonous powder. It will eventually relax me and put me to sleep like how you were, almost in a coma. I will not wake up and reincarnation is very rare. I consider it dying. I know I won’t come back so if you can’t bear to keep me here and watch me sleep, just kill me and I won’t return. I promise.”

“There must be something…anything. There must be some herb that can wake you once you fall asleep. Perhaps just time will pass and you will wake up like I did.”

“Caspian told me that is not possible.”

“Maybe if we do take a chance and I kill you, you might come back. I know it’s rare, but it’s still a chance I can take. It’s still something.”

“That chance is slim to none. You know it as well as I do.”

“Then what about-,”

“Pete stop. Please don’t say anymore. I know it’s not worth it. I will die and I will not return. I don’t want to. And I don’t want my last words to be about this…nonsense. This talk is only a waste of time.”

              Pete began to tremble before me. He was faced with the sad reality that I wouldn’t come back. So he gathered me, his face twisting into deeper sorrow, for I was now as limp and defenseless as dough. He had to move my arms and legs himself since I couldn’t. He gathered me into his arms and pressed my aching body to his chest.

              He held back his own breathing to hear my own, letting the silence hang in the air if I had to speak. He needed to make sure he could hear me if I wanted to speak to him. He gently put the Ceremonial Rings on my hand, where he claimed they belonged. He pressed my hand to his lips in grief.

              I could feel how he gripped me, knowing these were my last moments. He could feel my strength escaping so rapidly like blood from a wound. He rested his chin against the top of my head and rocked me as if I was a child.

“Why did this happen?”

“It’s better this way. This is how it’s supposed to be. I was not fit to rule and now you are in your rightful place as King. You won’t be disturbed by Sebastian or
me
. You can come and go. You can rule the people again. You can restore the good back and make our City what it was. You can restore peace and regain the trust of the people. You can go back to the life you had before I returned from reincarnation.”

“But my life before then was occupied by wondering when you would return.”

“Please don’t say that,” I begged. “That can’t be true.”

“It is true. When I wasn’t busy, that thought always lingered.”

“You’ll just have to think of all of the good times then.”

“You’re saying goodbye to me?”

“Not yet…but I know those words are hard to hear.”

“I don’t want to let you go. Before I fell, after destroying Sebastian, I saw you die. I never imagined it would be like this.”

“Please do me a favor.”

“Anything.”

“Please take care of Versailles for me. Please continue to be a good King. Take care of yourself. And don’t take on my burdens.”

“I won’t.”

              My pain stopped, for now I struggled to stay awake and look at him. He was so lachrymose. He pressed my hand to his trembling lips, struggling to push his emotions away. He moved me from his lap to the cold space on the bed beside him. Now he could see my face and how I struggled to keep my eyes open. Never had I seen him so mournful. He couldn’t cope with any of it. It was too much for him.

“I can’t let this happen. I knew this would come of
me
.” He shook his head. “I won’t let you die.”

“Please,” I whispered, “don’t waste any more precious time on
me
. You cannot help me.”

“I will do what I can. I won’t let you go without a fight. We have come so far. It
won’t
end like this. I will make sure of it.”             

“You don’t know what the future will bring,” I said with optimism, struggling to give him a small smile, struggling to convince him to accept my fate. 

“How could you tell me that? Look at yourself. Look at
your own decision
. Now tell me you shouldn’t make a decision based on the future. You thought you’d be a bad queen.”

“And I was very stupid.”

              He clenched his teeth together, took a breath, and swallowed hard. “Then I will have to save you myself, even if I die trying,” he said through his teeth, suddenly more determined to see me live. I would have smiled at his words, at the determination in his voice, if I had the strength.

“Make it stop,” I begged, feeling the herbs flood through me.

“What’s happening?”

“I can feel it. I can feel the herbs inside of me. I should be asleep by now. I shouldn’t be feeling any more pain. But I can feel it. I can feel the toxins eating away my precious flesh from the inside out. My very skin is burning from the acid of these herbs. Pete make it stop! Make it stop!”

              My eyes stung with the bitter toxin that hurt my flesh as tears ran down my face. I could taste it in my mouth. I could feel it on my lips. It hurt so bad.

“Caspian promised it would be quick and painless, but I still suffer!” I cried. Pete stared at me in shock, taking it all in, thinking of what he should do next. “Do something!”

              His eyes flicked to the door instantly. I knew he would go to get Caspian in attempt to have him save me. He would make Caspian save me and would not give the healer a chance to say he couldn’t.

              He bent his head down toward me hastily and kissed me, hopefully not for the last time. There was poison on his lips and I enjoyed it. I hadn’t tasted his addictive poison in months and now I knew how much I’d missed it. It was so good, so merciful to me, this poison that I dreaded and cursed before. It numbed me, overtook the damned toxin for me and made me feel at ease.

              He broke away, looked down at me while I managed a smile, suddenly feeling revived from his poison. Somehow it made me feel better. He pressed his forehead to my own for a moment and turned his back to me to face the door. He knew the doctor was his last hope, even if he could not save me.

              While our attention rested on the door, where he would head in a final trek down the stairs to get to the doctor, there came a crash. The nearest window shattered and our attention flew in curiosity and alert toward the sound.

              It took me longer to register that the window was broken and, confused, my eyes searched for the object that had broken it. My eyes flicked back to Pete then, suspecting he would have the answer. But he only turned to face me and stared down at me with his mouth agape in shock.

              Instinctually my eyes flicked back to the window, wondering what horrid thing he must have been looking at, what horrid thing I did not see that probably rested on the floor near the bed. Pete’s stunned face filled my thoughts again and I turned back to him in disbelief, hoping I was mistaken, hoping for once in my life that my eyes had failed me.

              A long, slender arrow protruded from his chest, had stabbed him in the back. My eyes settled on the image before me, of my Eternal Mate suddenly suffering, his face white with horror as he reached to touch the space below the object, against his clothes where his blood spilled.