Authors: Noire
She took us upstate to see him before he died. We rode the Prison Gap bus from Columbus Circle up to the Elmira Correctional Facility, where they had him on an AIDS ward. The man in the bed looked old and shriveled up. He had about ten strands of dirty red hair slicked down on his scalp and didn't look nothing like the fine-ass Daddy Mama had been describing all these years.
Mama stood there for a long time, just staring at Daddy in a strange way. I kept quiet and held tight to Caramel's hand until Mama turned and spoke to me in her most serious voice.
“Get a good look at him, Candy. This is what sex and street life can get you. I been loose with my shit too, so for all I know I might be laying up here one day looking a hot mess just like him. But I'll be damned if I wanna see you or Caramel with it. I ain't been out here selling my pussy all these years just so you can lay down somewhere and give yours away. Remember, sex is good, but keep your coochie to your goddamn self. There'll be plenty of mens who wanna use it for they own pleasure, but you gone hafta be smarter than that! Concentrate on your career, Candy. You got a voice, doll baby, and you gotta use it. It's your only ticket out of the kinda life I've lived, so don't fuck it up. Use what you got, Candy Raye. Make something of yourself so that whatever me and your daddy had together doesn't end up being a total waste of a good fuck.”
I wanted to heed her warnings, and I can honestly say I tried. The problem was, I had the same kind of high nature that she did and Lovely Bird wasn't the only one with a body that wouldn't stop.
I was a hottie to the max coming up in New York. At eleven I had an ass just like Mama's and a set of titties to match. Boys were forever trying to feel me up on the sly or pulling me under the staircase in our apartment building hoping they could get a few quick humps. I can't even count the number of times somebody's big brother tried to put my hand on his hard crotch or talk me up the stairs and on the roof to see the surprise he had for me in his pocket. I was scared of heights so that wasn't happening. Plus, thinking about the way Daddy died and seeing how Mama was living kept me slapping all those sweaty-ass male hands away.
But all that shit changed when I turned twelve. I was taking
a bird bath in the sink and just happened to rub the washcloth over my pussy just the right way. What I felt made me break out in a sweat as I balled up that washcloth and did it over and over again. From that day forward, me and my clitoris were the best of friends. I touched it as much as possible, learning how to make my woman juices run down my thighs and to bring myself to immature orgasms by clitoris stimulation alone.
I got my first tongue fuck when I was fourteen. Living a lifestyle like mine had sexualized me at an early age, but as much raw shit as I'd been exposed to, not one person had prepared me for what it would be like when a man actually opened me up and touched me with his tongue.
I was spending the night next door with my girl Mercedes, and we'd stolen a few porno videos from her brother's stash and watched them. We laughed and squealed at the sight of all those big, hard dicks and what was being done with them.
“Oooh,” I moaned as I watched some fine baller give it to his girl doggie-style. “That shit looks soooooo good!”
“Please,” Mercedes said. “Me and Tony do it like that all the time. His shit's so long it feels like it's drilling through my whole body and coming up outta my throat!”
I bust out laughing with her, but I really couldn't relate. For as long as I could remember Mama had preached about having to sell her nookie, and somehow it had never got her nowhere. I had been guarding my pussy like it was platinum, and nobody had ever made me feel like a damn thing was coming out my throat.
People said I had odd coloring for a sistah, and my blue eyes always pulled mad attention. My skin was reddish brown like Mama's. Light chocolate, she used to say, with some pissed-off
Indian running through it. I had Mama's dimples and her big smile too. But the hair? That jungle of curly stuff hanging halfway down my back had come straight from my daddy's side of the family because Mama had said those half-ass crackers had some fire-red curls for days.
I didn't like the male stares I attracted and I used to hate the way I looked when I was a kid, but Mama set me straight every chance she got. “You got it going on, doll baby,” she'd say as she brushed my hair up into a big curly ponytail. “Mens gonna love you one day. 'Specially niggers. Niggers can't get enough of a woman who got a whole lotta colors they ain't got. They gone think you some kinda exotic princess. Brown skin, red hair, blue eyes … doll baby, you Mama's pretty little rainbow girl.”
Mama musta been right about what men liked because they were always trying to get with me. I wasn't pressed about it though, and I never let any of it go to my head 'cause being pretty had never stopped me from going hungry.
But like I said, I was stacked. I'd sprouted a pair of big, firm titties when I was eleven, and by the time I was thirteen I had the hips of a grown woman and an ass that could stop traffic. I had developed some strong urgings to go along with all that ass too, but thanks to Mama I was still handling my business by myself. I'd walk around horny all day, dying for that nighttime treat. Right before bed I'd cut on the hot water as high as it could go, then soap up my rag and drag it across my breasts, circling my hard nipples until my knees got weak.
Moaning, I'd slide that washcloth down my stomach and grab a handful of my hot pussy and rub slow rotations around my slippery spot, thrusting my mound into my own hand and fucking
myself with my fingers until I exploded with heat and the water from the shower felt like tiny needles prickling my skin.
I was sleeping on the floor in Mercedes's bedroom when the door opened late at night. I looked up and saw her brother Sonny standing in the doorway staring down at me. “Shhh …,” he said, coming in and closing the door behind him. He got down on his hands and knees and started feeling around on the floor.
“What you doin?” I said, pulling down my nightshirt as his hand touched my foot and ran up my leg.
“Looking for something,” he whispered. “My movies …”
A second later Sonny grabbed my thigh and slid his hand between my legs, swiping my bare pussy. “Quit!” My legs snapped shut. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Shhh,” he whispered again, smelling his fingers. “Let me taste that candy, girl. Just lemme get a lick …”
My pussy was on fire. After what I'd just seen in those movies and the way Sonny's tongue was sending chills through me as he pressed his face into my crotch and tickled my pussy hairs, I just couldn't stop him. I couldn't get AIDS like this, could I? His breath was hot on my clit as he pushed his tongue inside of me as deep as it would go.
I arched my back and damn near screamed out loud. Electricity vibed through my body, my nipples aching as I grabbed his head and gave that pussy up. Fuck Mama! Fuck Daddy! Sonny licked me from one end of my stuff to the other, pausing long enough to whip my clit back and forth with the tip of his tongue, then nibble on it as he gently sucked it between his lips.
“Oh, shit!” I was holding on to my blanket, whipping my
head back and forth and fucking his face to death. Mercedes was asleep on her bed and I didn't want to wake her up, but I couldn't hold back the scream that tore from me as he dicked me with his tongue and vibrated his whole mouth all over my clit.
I ain't gonna lie. I was still a virgin, but after all that hot tongue I was aching to feel something thick pounding inside my pussy, and as soon as I came I tried to pull Sonny on top of me, ready to give up everything I had. But he stood up and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth.
“Uh-uh. I ain't got no rubbers on me. Besides, I didn't come in here to fuck you no way. I just wanted to see what that candy tasted like.”
I lay there in the darkness trying to catch my breath as my body convulsed over and over with the memory of his lips. For the first time in my life my sexual cravings were completely satisfied, and let's face it. What female you know can get her pussy licked once and not want it licked again? Sonny's tongue-down had become the high point of my life, and from then on out it would become a requirement for every guy who even thought about climbing on top of me. See, I'd finally found something that gave me just as much joy as singing, and I decided right then and there that any man who wanted to sample a piece of Candy would have to be a candy licker.
N
icky Gabriano was a cool Italian guy. His family was tied to flower shops and bakeries and a whole lot of other lame businesses that were nothing but fronts to cover up how they really made their money: importing street drugs and washing dirty money.
I was hungry as hell the first time I met Nicky. Daddy had been dead for years and I was scared Mama might be sick too. She looked so bad and had lost so much weight that she couldn't even find a nightclub that would let her dance. Her skin had turned damn near gray, and clumps of her beautiful Indian hair were dusting the floor all over our apartment.
Things were getting critical 'cause Mama was having a real hard time bringing in any money at all, so in desperation she hooked up with this skinny junkie named Doc and started dragging me out on the streets with them to use as bait for unsuspecting tricks.
“Can't we take the night off just this one time?” I was whining one night as she pushed me down the street in front of her. We
were walking toward a busy avenue and even though it was still pretty early the streets were already live. Mama and I were out alone this time 'cause Doc had gotten busted buying horse from an undercover officer and was locked up. Tonight I had a bad feeling in my stomach that I knew wasn't just from hunger. Doc was an old-school junkie who shot dope in his shriveled-up little dick. As much as I hated him at least he carried a gun and could protect us from the fools we tried to stick up every night.
“Shut up, Candy!” Mama yelled. “Just do what the hell I tell you to do.”
“But Mama,” I said, pushing my hair out of my eyes. She always made me wear my hair out at night, and my thick, wavy red curls hung halfway down my back. “We don't know nothin about this neighborhood. What if something goes down? Maybe we should wait on Doc since he's the one with the gun.”
Mama grabbed my arm and dragged me across the street to an empty corner. “Fuck Doc! I got me my own fuckin’ weapon! Don't nothing but white folks live over here anyway, so it's safe. Besides. Lovely Bird Montana don't wait on
no
nigger! How the hell you think I was making money before Doc's raggedy ass showed up? Don't be so goddamn stupid, Candy! If you wait around on a man to turn a dollar, you'll forever be broke.”
I wanted to ask Mama why she didn't just step out in the street and show her own damn titties, but I already knew the answer. She was too sick, and plus mine were better. They were big and firm and they sat straight up in the air. “I killed my titties breast-feeding you and Caramel,” Mama said like she was reading my mind. “That's how much I sacrificed for you two. My titties use'ta look ten times better than yours, but y'all
needed some milk and I was the cow! Don't be so goddamn ungrateful, Candy Raye!”
I stepped off the curb with my eyes cast down, shame causing me to sweat. At least she hadn't made Caramel come out with us. That would have been too much for me to stomach. A few seconds later I heard a car coming toward us and then Mama broke.
“It's a white man! Pull up your shirt, Candy!” she hollered. “Hit him! Show this mothafucka what you working with!”
I lifted up my shirt and exposed my naked titties. I glanced up and the driver was staring at them so hard he almost ran into a fire hydrant.
“Pretty, ain't they?” Mama yelled as he pulled over and rolled down his window. “Turn to the side, Candy,” she demanded. “See?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with pride as I faced toward the right. “She got plenty of junk in her trunk too, and guess what? That ain't no dye in my baby's hair neither! She's a redhead downstairs too!”
The man in the car was old and white, and he never took his eyes off my chest. “How much?” he asked, breathing hard.
Mama twisted her lips. “How much for what, mistah? I ain't offered you shit yet. Put your shirt down, Candy Raye. Yo, mistah. You a cop?”
The trick shook his head. “No … no, I'm not the police. Just tell me how much.”
“Forty,” Mama said. “And that's just to fuck her and suck on her titties. She too young to take it up the ass and she don't give no head.”
Mama told him to park at the end of the side street as we both ran behind his car in the darkness. “You got fifteen minutes,”
Mama warned as he rolled down his passenger window and handed her the money. He motioned for me to get in the car, and when I opened the door I saw his hard little dick poking up out his pants.
“Get in, baby,” Mama said. I got in the passenger seat and all I could smell was cheese. Old fuckin’ cheese and an old fuckin’ man.
Mama hopped in the backseat, and when he turned around like he wanted to make some noise she jumped bad. “This my fuckin baby, gawdammit! I know you don't think I'ma let her get in no car with your old ass all by herself!”
He was so horny his hands were shaking. He reached over and yanked up my shirt, then dove in and slobbered all over my titties, sucking and licking like a maniac. His breath smelled like pissy dentures and old pus, and I almost threw up. I was pushing him away and wondering what the hell was taking Mama so long when she sprung into action.
“Freeze, mothafucka! Take your nasty hands offa her! Put them shits on top of your head!”
I looked back and saw that Mama had a cigarette lighter pressed to the man's neck. It was a regular old red Bic, and it looked harmless as hell. “Move, mothafucka,” she said, “so I can set your old ass on fire.”
Old boy was shook. “Please,” he whispered. “Take what you want. Please. Just don't shoot me.”
Shoot him? With what? I was so mad at Mama I wanted to jump out the car and leave her.
Yeah
, Doc was the one who rolled with the gun, but damn. Couldn't she at least have brought a knife?