Authors: Sarah Mayberry
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Women, #General, #Erotica
"Claire!" she said, sounding startled.
But Claire was too busy controlling her gag reflex to respond. All the
time she'd been standing on Jack's doorstep, preparing to pour her
heart out to him, he'd had another woman warming up out back. Not just
any woman—Katherine, her so-called friend, the woman she'd accused of
having an unrequited crush on Jack just hours ago.
So much for him loving her.
It felt like a slap in the face. It felt as if she'd closed her eyes
and leaped, expecting to land safely in someone's arms, only to find
that she'd stepped into a chasm. If only she hadn't allowed herself to
hope. For years she'd survived without love, but she'd let herself
hope, and now this…. She felt frozen to the spot as she desperately
called on all those years of not looking disappointed when she hurt
like hell inside. As long as he didn't know what she'd come here for,
she might just escape with a little bit of dignity intact. Suddenly
that seemed very important. As long as Jack didn't know how close she'd
come to making a fool of herself, perhaps her pain wouldn't be quite so
all-encompassing. But it was too late. She felt her face crumpling,
felt her world crashing down around her. This was why she never stuck
her neck out. This was why she played it safe.
"Claire, let me explain," Katherine said, heading toward her.
"I have to go," Claire managed to choke out as she backed away from the door. Jack stepped forward, trying to catch her arm.
"Claire, wait!"
Any hope of retaining a shred of pride evaporated as the tears hit. She
turned toward her car, already blubbering messy, undignified tears,
aware that inside she hurt. She hurt so much she wanted to sink to the
ground and howl.
She wrenched the car door open and stabbed the keys into the ignition. Where had all these tears come
from? Did she even have this much fluid in her body?
She had to get out of here.
"Claire, will you please just stop and listen?"
He'd stopped to pull on a pair of shorts, but Jack was beside the car
now, hovering over her. She panicked, pumping the accelerator madly and
turning the key, but the starter motor just whined at her, leaving the
engine dead. Furious, blinded by tears, she pumped the accelerator
again and twisted the key viciously. Again, nothing. When she moved to
try a third time, Jack's large hand reached down to tug the key from
her death grip.
"You've flooded it. It's not like your little automatic," he said
calmly. "Now, will you please listen to me?" She glanced up at him
through the veil of her tears, registering his concerned face. She felt
like such an idiot. She was going to have to quit her job. She'd been
fooling herself when she thought she could bear to work with Jack,
knowing he was with someone else.
"Just leave me alone, I just want to be alone," she said when Jack
tried to open the car door. She hit the lock, and wound the window up.
Since the roof was down, it was a fairly pointless exercise, but she
was so upset she was beyond caring.
Jack reached over the window, and suddenly the car door was unlocked
and swinging open, and she was being dragged out into his arms.
"Put me down!" she sobbed, but he just held her tighter.
"Not until you listen to me, goddamn you," Jack said.
It felt so good to be in his arms, yet knowing that she couldn't have
him, that he wasn't hers after all, only made things worse. But he
wouldn't let go of her, so in the end she just gave up and rested her
head on his shoulder and cried. His hands soothed her back, and he
whispered reassurances in her ear. After a few minutes of steady
sobbing she was reduced to snuffling against his damp shoulder, dread
building inside her with every passing second. He knew, now. He had to
know. He knew she loved him, and now her rejection would be complete.
"Now, just listen for a second," he said, obviously judging her to be in a somewhat calmer state.
"Katherine came around to talk to me because I asked her to. I know you
two are friends, and I needed some advice. Because I'd just told you I
loved you, and you blew me off." His words managed to somehow seep past
the mist of tears and pain fogging her brain. Katherine was here for
advice?
Not wild, animal sex? Claire considered this for a few seconds, decided
she might be prepared to believe it. Which meant…which meant…
"Claire, I love you. Why can't you believe that?"
She needed to see him. She pulled back from his shoulder, wiping a hand
across her face to try and clear away some of the tears. His blue eyes
were deeply sincere, his hands gentle as he cradled her face.
"Really? You're sure? Because I don't think I could handle it if you got to know me and you realized…"
She found herself trailing off. She stared into Jack's eyes as the
domino pieces of the past flipped over into each other in her mind.
What had she been about to say? That once Jack really knew her he wouldn't—couldn't—love her?
She blinked at him.
"My father—" she began to say, and then she put her hand over her mouth to stop the words from pouring out.
She couldn't stop herself from thinking as easily, however. As Jack
waited patiently, she followed her thought through to its conclusion.
How could Jack love her when her own father wouldn't even give her the
time of day? And Harry was honor-bound to love her—it was supposed to
be genetic, he was her father. If he couldn't dredge up a shred of
feeling, what hope was there that the golden Jack Brook could truly
love her in the same, all-encompassing way she loved him?
It was as though something large and monstrous had suddenly stepped out
of the shadows and assumed life-size proportions. Like confessing to
Jack her fear that she'd only won because she'd "done it for Daddy," it
was hard acknowledging this last and final truth. She felt rejected by
her father, and she lived her life in fear of being rejected by anyone
else.
She stared up at Jack, not even knowing where to begin.
But he did.
"I am not your father, Claire. I love you, and nothing is going to
change that. I love your laugh, I love your tears, I love the way you
think, the way you get that little wrinkle between your brows when
you're confused. I love making love to you, holding you in my arms,
touching you. I love your passion and your commitment and your sense of
what's fair. I love it that you're honest, even if it means admitting
that you're wrong sometimes…."
He kissed her gently.
"Oh, Jack," she managed to whisper, moved to tears again, but good
tears this time. She threw herself into his arms, squeezing him as hard
as she could, proving to herself that he was real. He squeezed her
back, and they stood holding each other, loving each other, for a long
time.
"Um, is there something you'd like to say to me?" he asked
super-casually. She pulled back from their embrace to stare at him
quizzically. He gave her a sad puppy-dog look, obviously expecting
something.
"What?"
And then she realized she still hadn't told him she loved him! Here she
was, blubbering all over his front lawn, exposing her most painful
fears, and she still hadn't told the man how she felt. She felt blinded
by her love as she beamed up at him. Where to begin? She reached up and
cupped his precious face in her hands.
Jack leaned down to kiss her, and she felt the familiar excitement
beginning to sweep her up. She moved closer, pressed herself against
him. He murmured his appreciation, trailing a hand down her back to
find her butt and pull her closer still.
The sound of an engine starting broke the moment, and they looked up to
see Katherine's car pulling out from the curb. Katherine shook her head
at them ruefully and smiled, then made a phone gesture with her hand
and mouthed "Call me" to Claire before driving away.
"I'd forgotten all about her," she admitted guiltily. "I was horrible. I was so jealous, I said some awful things."
Jack started nuzzling her neck again. "Sorry, who are we talking
about?" Claire let her head fall back as he nibbled his way around her
earlobe.
"Katherine."
"Oh, Katherine. She's fine. She's just been telling me to keep
persevering. She said that anyone who reacted the way you did this
afternoon had to be in love."
Claire still owed Katherine some serious chocolate and champagne
therapy, but Jack's kisses were becoming more and more insistent and
for a while the rest of the world faded into oblivion.
"By the way, what's with the car?" Jack murmured a few minutes later as she sagged in his arms, limp and overcome by lust.
"Car? What car?"
She looked hazily over his shoulder, registering the red Mustang with a frown.
"Oh, right. That's mine," she explained as she drew his head back down
for another kiss. A few minutes later, Jack spoke again.
"So you just went out and bought a new car?"
It was hard to concentrate when she had six feet two inches of sexy,
loving man pressed up against her, but she made an effort.
"Yes. That's exactly what I did."
He sounded really surprised, which got her thinking. And suddenly it
hit her what she'd done. Had she been on drugs an hour ago? Stunned,
she looked up at him.
"I didn't even take it for a test drive. I have no idea how many miles it has. I have no idea if it even has an engine!"
He started laughing, then he bent down and scooped her up into his arms.
"That sounds more like the Claire Marsden I know and love," he said as
he carried her into his house, then into his bedroom. The sight of his
large, welcoming bed went a long way to alleviating her buyer's
remorse.
"What am I going to do?" she asked vaguely as he dropped her on the bed and started tearing her clothes off.
"We'll work it out," he promised.
And looking up at him leaning over her with love and lust in his eyes, she realized they always would.
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* Series: Harlequin Blaze Series , #211
* ISBN-13: 9780373792153
* ISBN-10: 0373792158