Can't Let Go (30 page)

Her hips circle, teasing me. She lifts and then sinks back down. The slow rhythm she’s setting is gradually making me come unglued with the heated desire to take over. My hands reach up, squeezing and molding her naked tits in my hands. Pushing her chest out, she leans back, her hands rest on my thighs as she rocks back and forth. Eyes shut, teeth clamped on her bottom lip, the array of moans escaping her mouth brings an uncontrollable drive through me, and I flip us, reversing our positions.

Her knees spread farther apart, heels pressing into the bed, and I ram into her, making her yelp. “Dex,” she sighs. Staring down at her soft and loving eyes, instantly slowing my pace. Thrusting in and out while my hands grip her shoulders, pulling her down to me at the exact time I push into her. “You feel so good,” she continues in a quiet welcoming tone, keeping her animalistic mannerisms at bay.

“Chrissy.” I call her name out because for the first time during sex, there’s not one dirty thought filling my head. There’s only my heart soaring toward how much I love this girl under me and praying I don’t fuck it up beyond belief and lose her. Going down on my forearms, I lock her head between them and claim her lips as I continue making love for the first time in my life. Pulling back, my eyes lock with hers and I see the love shining back, confirming that her feelings are just as strong as mine.

She raises her legs, locking my hips to hers. Clenching around me, her breath shutters, and I allow myself to finally release the buildup in me. My finger brushes the hair from around her face, and I bend down, my lips meeting hers, pouring every ounce of love that’s swirling inside of me to her.

I roll over and get off the bed to clean myself up. When I return from the bathroom, she’s there, cozied up under my sheets smack dab in the middle of the bed. My bed. A gleam of happiness in her eyes I’m not sure I’ve ever seen in all the years I’ve known her. Everything in my life seems to fit in this moment. She grabs the edge of the sheet and lifts it up, inviting me to join her. Not about to hesitate, I climb in and wrap her in my arms. A safe and love-filled motion that brings warmth to every bone in my body. My head in the crook of her neck, the scent of us together still lingering, I close my eyes in peace. “I love you, Chrissy Dawson,” I tell her for the first time, secretly enjoying how the words sound leaving my mouth.

Her hand rises, and she places it on the back of my head, keeping my face exactly where it is. “I love you, too,” she says softly, and I swear my heart really does grow ten times its size with her words.

I LOVE LAZY Sunday’s in the Carsen household. Brady cooks us breakfast as we stay in our pajamas until the afternoon, some nursing hangovers, some just recouping on sleep. Since we’re in the throes of football season, we mostly lie around the family room, eating, cheering or booing, depending on what teams are playing, and bullshitting with each other. But this Sunday has been the best so far, because as the quiet house begins to come to life with shuffled footsteps and low talking, I’m in the arms of the man I’ve loved a majority of my life. The guy who filled my dreams and fantasies since I was fourteen years old.

Trying to wiggle out of Dex’s childlike death grip, he wraps his arms around my waist, yanking me back. I don’t fight his motives, but rather enjoy the loving behavior I’ve only dreamed of until now. “Where do you think you’re going?” His groggy voice etched with humor. He buries his head in the crook of my neck, kissing the shiver-inducing spot right under my ear, hitting his mark as though he’s done it for years.

Giggling like a groupie, I scoot my body closer to his. Matching my motions, he splays his hand on my bare stomach, locking me firmer against him and enabling me to feel his morning excitement. “Starting my day,” I tell him, not really wanting to leave his hold.

“I’ll start your day,” he jokes, his lips traveling down my neck. Inching forward, I tilt my head, and he slides my hair off my neck, pecking short kisses along my hairline. If I thought I was going to die from my heart exploding last night from the amount of love Dex displayed, I’m certain it will erupt from his morning-after enjoyment of me.

“I’m sure you would.” I roll over, caressing his cheeks. “No regrets?” I hastily ask. When his eyes fall and lips turn down, I regret asking immediately, but it’s still hard to believe from his instant turnaround.

“No.” His body sits up, his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. “Jesus, Chrissy, I know I’ve been stupid, but this,” he picks up his head, the sadness in his eyes boring into me, motioning his finger between us, “is it.” Scooting closer to me again, he grabs my waist and tugs so that I’m on his lap. Drawing me to him, closing any space between us, his hands rest on the small of my back, my breasts out for his viewing. “No regrets—ever.” His lips suck my bottom lip into his mouth, and I grind my pelvis into him, loving his body’s response to my movement. Closing the kiss, he backs his head up. “Never ask me again, okay?” he requests, and I nod, feeling more secure in that instant. It may have taken Dex awhile to come around, but now that he has, I’m positive his love won’t waver.

A slow smile creeps across his face, and then his lips come back to my mouth, still sore from last night’s make-out marathon. I swear we took turns waking each other up in order to satisfy our need for the other. Just as my breathing picks up with the anticipation that he’s about to round second, his door swings open and Dex tosses me on my back and throws the sheet over my body. Through the sliver of space between Dex’s back and the pillows, I see it’s Trey who’s interrupted my fun.

“Get the hell up. The Dog Pound is in full effect,” Trey screams, and I can hear the kids downstairs running and laughing. “Shit,” he covers his eyes, “cover that thing up.” He laughs.

“Turn around and shut the door,” Dex says through clenched teeth. Trey laughs and then examines the situation. Feeling the chill on my feet, I slowly curl them under the covers to hide from his sight.

“All right, I’m leaving.” He raises his hands, and I allow my breath to stream out of my mouth. “Browns are on in fifteen, so hurry up and get your ass downstairs,” he finishes. His image remains by the door, and my heart slows seeing his departure. “Oh, and one more thing.” Trey’s humor-filled voice floats back into the room.

“What jackass?” Dex asks exasperated.

“Good morning, Chrissy.” Trey laughs and shuts the door. His bellowing laugh can still be heard all the way down the hall until it fades down the staircase.

I bolt up, the sheet falling to my waist, and Dex shakes his head, smiling ear to ear. “What?” I ask, grabbing the edge of the sheet to cover myself.

Dex’s hand touches mine, nudging the sheet back down and then his body rests on top of mine as he seductively kisses my collarbone. “We have about five minutes before one of those girls barges in.” I’m relieved that he’s okay with everyone knowing about us, it shows how much he really does love me.

I giggle and rub my hands up and down his back. “How’d he know it was me?”

Dex doesn’t get up but continues his exploration of my body. “I’m not sure, but I’m thankful he didn’t see any inch of you. Sorry for the ninja move.” I feel his lips turn up as they move on my skin.

Playfully, I smack his shoulder to move forward and scoot out from under his large body. “Shower time. Obviously, our day of exploration is over,” I toss over my shoulder.

He sits up so his back rests along the headboard, his bare chest covered in tattoos I traced with my fingers last night. Him explaining the times he had them done and the deep meaning behind each one, some easier than others to figure out.

“What are you doing?” I ask him, shaking my head at his sly smile.

“Watching you,” he says, shifting his feet. “I may need to have a half time show. I’m not sure I can go the whole day without being inside of you.” His eyes burn, gazing at my skin as they follow me around the room, capturing the butterflies that swarm in my stomach with anticipation of more than his eyes on me.

Seductively crawling up the bed, I give him a quick kiss on his lips. “Just give me a signal, and I’ll be up here waiting,” I say and then slide off his body.

“Tease,” he jokes, and I wave my hand at him while walking into the bathroom, reveling in the heat of his eyes on me.

FINALLY, I MAKE it downstairs, but the game is already in the first quarter. Dex, Brady, and Rob sit on the couch, and Trey bounces Drew on his lap in the chair. Eyeing him from the hallway, Dex’s vision is already focused my way. The thought that maybe he’s been waiting for me brings a tingling sensation streaming through my veins.

Entering the kitchen, I dread the twenty questions that are about to come my way from Sadie or Kailey. I release the built up anxiety at seeing Chloe and Tara coloring at the table. Kailey sits on the counter and Sadie flits around the kitchen, putting a few snacks together for the guys. Noticing the pans from breakfast in the sink, I’m bummed I missed Brady’s cooking, but then flashes of Dex’s arms wrapped around me tight this morning flicker to life and the sadness vanishes as fast as it appeared.

“What’s the cheesy grin about?” Kailey raises her eyebrows in a knowing sign. My eyes dart to the girls and then back to her. “Hi, girls.” I wave.

Both turning their attention to me, they wave back. “Hi, Chrissy.”

“Give it up. I doubt Trey kept the secret,” I say softly when I approach her and Sadie a safe distance from Chloe and Tara.

They both laugh. “It’s about time anyway.” Sadie turns her attention to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “I’m so happy for you.” A warmth spreads through my blood, because I not only have Dex, but the friendships of amazing girls as well.

“What a waste of Ryland Davis, though.” I push Kailey lightly, and she falls into the cabinets a little and then steadies herself. “Just kidding.” She hops down and hugs me as well.

“How did Trey even know it was me?” I ask her, pouring chips into a bowl.

“We got our pedicures together last week, and then he came to pick me up, remember? We showed him our toes with that flowery nail art. The guy has the memory of an elephant.” She humorously shakes her head and then takes a seat at the table with the girls, pulling out a crayon and helping Tara.

“I’d say. What kind of a guy pays attention to that much detail?” I ask.

“My guy does.” Her smile shining, purely elated that Trey is hers.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell them and venture into the living room. Unsure of how this whole thing with Dex and I will be received, I go the long way. Down the hallway by the front door and then behind the couch. Leaning over, I hand the bowl of chips to Dex, and he pulls my arm down so my face is right by his. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers in my ear and kisses the corner of my lips. To think not even twenty-four hours ago I was desperate to hear those words leave his mouth. Hearing them now brings a smile to my face that I’m certain no one could shatter.

I’m surprised the guys remain silent, as though they missed the whole kiss and closeness of Dex and me. Feeling more at ease with the situation, I confidently strut across the room, back to the confines of the kitchen to hang out with the girls. “So you nailed her, right?” Rob asks Dex, and I’m about to turn around until, “OUCH! Hey, I deserve some fucking credit,” he adds and a smile turns up my lips as I disappear through the doorway.