He handed her the sheet. “It’s a match. High probability that the subjects are related.”
“Oh, my God.”
He looked up to see the shock on her face. The paper fluttering to the floor.
He bent and scooped it up, checking again to make sure he hadn’t misread it. Nick was his son. He had a child.
After the first surge of joy, Walker panicked. Nick lived two hundred and fifty miles away from him. He didn’t want to be that far away from him.
His son.
He’d fly up here regularly. He could do that. Hell, he might as well make that company jet pay for itself.
Maybe Nick could come to Chicago once in a while, too. There was plenty of room in the condo. He could have one of the spare bedrooms. Do whatever he wanted with it.
Walker would see Jen frequently. Talk to her. She was the mother of his son.
Could this persuade her to give him another chance with her?
God, he was such a jerk. He’d just found out he had a kid, and he was wondering how he could use that information to get her back. The woman he loved.
Jen was staring at him, her hand over her mouth, and he dropped onto the bed. She hated him. Would she let Nick go to Chicago? Would she even allow Walker be a part of Nick’s life?
What was she thinking?
“Jen. Say something.”
Her eyes were huge in her ashen face. A face pinched with pain. And fear. “I thought it would be negative,” she whispered. “Even after I saw the pictures, deep down I believed you were wrong. How could I not know the father of my child? How was that possible?”
“We all see what we expect to see,” he answered.
“You didn’t. You saw him once and you suspected.”
“I was thinking about my father at the wedding reception, knowing I had to stop by his grave before I left town. Dreading it. Then Nick smiled, and he was the image of my dad. If he hadn’t smiled, if I hadn’t been looking at him at that exact moment, it might never have occurred to me.”
She sank onto a chair. “I should have wondered about it when I found out I was pregnant. I should have at least considered that you might be the father. But I didn’t. And I stole fifteen years of his life from you.”
“There’s another way to think about it. What if you had told me Nick was my son? If I’d had a child to support, I never would have gotten off that fishing boat. I would have been miserable. I couldn’t have taken a chance with my game, couldn’t have started GeekBoy.
“Would I rather have had the time with Nick? I’m pretty sure I would make that trade. But we can’t go back.”
He picked up the white photo album he’d found stored with his parents’ possessions. “I should have reconciled with my dad before he died.” He opened the album, touched the baby picture that looked so much like Nick. “I should have made an effort. But I didn’t.”
Finally he turned to face her. “You didn’t know you were keeping my son from me. I want to put that behind us.”
A tear dripped down her cheek. “You have a lot more to forgive me for. What I did to you in high school changed your life. How do you get past something like that?”
“Yeah, you did a lousy thing. But it worked out for me in the end. I love my job. I have fun with it. Not to mention buckets of money. The lousy thing you did turned out to be pretty damn lucky for me.”
He took a step toward her, then stopped. God, he wanted to do this right. Make sure he didn’t ruin everything. “Why did you come here today, Jen? You could have opened the letter and then dropped it off. Put it in the mail. You didn’t have to see me. To give it to me in person.”
A tear rolled down her other cheek. “Tony and I talked, and I realized that the choices I made in high school were part of the reason our marriage failed. Stupid not to see that before, but it was easier to blame him. So I asked myself if I wanted to let another bad choice ruin whatever you and I might have.”
“And what was your answer?” He gripped the edge of the desk to keep from reaching for her.
She took a deep breath. “I…I care about you, Walker.”
He reached for her then, but she held her hand up. “No, I have to get this out. You’re important to me, and that trumps a mistake you made. We’ll need to…to see each other a lot. There are details to work out. You need a chance to get to know Nick. Spend time with him.” Her eyes filled with tears again. “We have to tell him. Together, Walker. We’ll tell him together.”
He took her hands. “Could you maybe let me get a word in here?”
She sniffed and extracted her hands from his to dig a tissue out of her purse. “I’m sorry. I’m babbling.”
“I love your babbling. In fact, I love everything about you, Jen.”
The hope that filled her eyes was almost painful in its intensity.
“I didn’t fall in love with Nick. I fell in love with you.”
She threw herself into his arms. “I love you, too, Walker.”
He folded her against him and closed his eyes. This was where he belonged. With Jen. Holding her. Loving her. Making a life with her.
“I have a lot to learn about loving someone,” he said.
“So do I, Walker. I did a really bad job of it the last time.” She cupped his cheek, loved the feel of his rough beard against her hand. “Maybe we can learn together.”
“I’d like that. But it’s going to take me a long time, I’m afraid.”
“You think so?” She leaned back, studied him. Relaxed when she saw the twinkle in his eyes. “A year, maybe? Two?”
He ran his fingers up her side, over her ribs. “Fifty or sixty years. Maybe more. Do you think you can give me that much time?”
“Is that all? I was thinking more like forever. It’ll take at least that long.”
“Then we better get started.”
He kissed her again, and she sighed into his mouth. “I love you, Walker.”
His lips lingered on hers. “I thought I’d never kiss you again. Never hold you,” he murmured. He nuzzled the side of her neck, and she sucked in a breath. “Never finish what you started in the car that night.”
“I felt like such a fool.”
“I’m so sorry I made you feel that way.” He nipped at her earlobe. “Because it was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He kissed her neck as he slid one hand up her arm, lingered at the bra strap on her shoulder. “What color are you wearing today?”
“Hmm. Let’s find out.” She undid the top button of her blouse, then looked down. “It’s a plain red one. Hardly any lace at all. Small, too. Barely covers my nipples.”
“You are a devil, Jen Summers.” Grinning, he lifted the blouse over her head without bothering to unbutton it. When her hands got trapped as she tried to get it off, he eased her onto the bed. “Now this has definite possibilities. You’re helpless. I can do whatever I want with you.”
She squirmed beneath him, laughing as he kissed his way from her neck to the top of her breast. Then he looked up and their eyes locked. His smile faded. Hers did, too.
“Jen.” He pulled her blouse the rest of the way off. When he kissed her again, she tasted his desperation. And her own.
He worshipped her body, and she worshipped his. He held her face as he kissed her, and she didn’t look away. Couldn’t. She saw the love in his eyes, and the promise. Whatever happened, they were one.
“You’re part of me,” he said as he slid inside her. “Always. And I’m part of you. Together, there’s nothing we can’t do. Don’t ever forget that.”
“Yes. Together,” she murmured as she rose up and began moving.
He drove her higher, and she drove him. And when they fell, they fell together.
“I have to tell Tony first. Then we’ll all talk to Nick together.”
“Is he…is Nick going to be okay with this?”
She hesitated. “Probably not at first. He’s a teenager, trying to figure out who he is. And we’re going to tell him, hey, your dad isn’t really your father. This other guy is.”
“Is he going to hate me?”
“Maybe. But he’ll hate me more.” Nick was old enough to realize that she’d slept with both Tony and Walker. What a humiliating, painful thing to reveal to your son.
“He’s not going to hate you,” Walker said.
She sighed as she kissed him. He had a lot to learn about being a parent.
Nick turned to Tony, who was leaning against the wall by the door. As if he wanted to run, but couldn’t. “What kind of crap is that, Dad?”
Tony stared at Walker, and the living room seemed barely big enough to contain his anger. But Tony managed to control it. “Just what she’s saying. Barnes is your biological father.”
“That’s total crap.”
Tony pressed his lips together. “It’s true, Nick.”
Nick looked from her to Walker. She saw the exact moment when he got it. “You mean you, like, had sex with him? Before I was born?”
“Yes, Nick. I did. We did.”
“And you let Dad think I was his kid?”
“No. I thought Dad
was
your father. It didn’t occur to me that he wasn’t.”
Nick jumped up from the chair and shoved a hand through his hair. His fingers trembled as his gaze swung from Walker to Tony, then back to her. “So what you’re saying is you were a skank in high school.”
“Nick!” Tony erupted from his spot at the wall. “Apologize to your mother. And don’t you say anything like that to her again. You treat her with respect.”
“Respect? What do you think she’d say to me if I slept with a bunch of girls and got one of them pregnant? Huh?” He sneered. “What about all those lectures about saving myself and safe sex and that shit? I guess they didn’t mean squat.”
Jen pulled her son close. He resisted, holding his body stiffly away from hers. “I meant every word of what I said. I wanted you to learn from my mistakes. Be the kind of person I should have been.” She rubbed his back. “The kind of man your dad is. And Walker.”
When Nick raised his head, he had tears in his eyes. “You just said he’s not my dad.”
“I didn’t say that.” She looked over at Tony.
Jump in here. Any time.
Tony came farther into the room. His hand hovered over Nick’s shoulder and finally settled on it. “You’ll always be my kid,” he said roughly. “No matter what that piece of paper says.”
Nick pushed Jen away and turned to Tony. He hesitated, then reached for him. Tony folded his arms around him and rocked him from side to side. As he had when Nick was a baby. The boy’s shoulders were shaking, and she heard the catch of a sob he tried to muffle.
“What about Tommy?” Nick finally said.
“What about him?” she asked.
“Is he, like, still my brother?”
“Of course he is.” She tried to caress Nick’s head and froze when he jerked away.
“Are you going to tell him?”
She let her hand drop. “It’s up to you if and when we tell Tommy. But secrets always end up hurting more than the truth.”
Nick looked at Walker. He took a step back, so he was standing next to Tony. “I don’t care what you did with my mother back then,” he said. “I already have a father.”
Jen took Walker’s hand, and he gripped hers tightly. “I know you do,” he said. “Tony will always be your dad. I just…just want to be part of your life, too.”
Nick stared at him. “What am I supposed to call you?”
“How about Walker?”
Nick lifted one shoulder. “Whatever.”
“I know we dumped a load on you today, Nick,” Tony said gruffly. “You want to go to B-Dubs? Get some wings?”
“No. I want you all to leave me alone.” He spun around, pushed past Tony and took the stairs two at a time down to the basement. She heard another sob just before his door slammed shut.
The three adults froze, avoiding one another’s eyes. Tony finally said, “Should I go down there?”
“Leave him for now,” Jen answered. “He needs time to process all of this.”
“I’ll come back tomorrow.” Tony stared hard at Walker. “We share him. You got that?”
“Yeah. I do.”
Tony slammed the door on the way out, and the sound reverberated in the silent room. Walker was gazing at the stairs.
“It’s going to be all right,” Jen told him.
“How? He hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. We’ve shaken his whole world. Nothing is what he thought it was. Of course he’s upset.”
“I shouldn’t have done the test. Shouldn’t even have asked you to consider it.”
“We had to do it. We had to face all the secrets, the lies, the silence of the past. We had to face the truth.”
Walker waved toward Nick’s room. “He’s my son.
Our
son. How could I hurt him like this?”
“It wasn’t just you,” she said. “It was all of us.”
“Is that supposed to make it easier? Because it doesn’t.”
He stepped toward the basement stairs, and she caught his hand and drew him back into the living room. “Going down there now will make him more upset,” she said. But she wanted to run down there herself and gather Nick close. To protect him from all possible pain, as she’d done when he was a baby.
“I had no idea that being a parent could hurt so much.” Walker wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. “God, Jen, how do you do it?”
“One day at a time,” she said. “That’s how. Tomorrow will be better. So will the day after that. This is just the beginning.”