Captivated (8 page)

Chapter Ten

Jesse’d been given the blowoff before. More than once. Hell, a couple times he’d been flat out told to his face that his presence was no longer required. He kind of preferred that to the cold shoulder. Or ghosting. When a girl did that, just disappeared from his inbox, unfriending or no longer answering his texts, he hated that shit, too. Yet right now he’d have preferred to have at least the pretense that someday, maybe, Colleen would call him again. The thought of never seeing her again, never talking to her again, was just too fucking painful.

He’d called her, too stupid not to. She hadn’t answered. He’d left messages that she hadn’t returned. He’d sent texts, also ignored. She’d shut him out completely, and it was kind of killing him. At the same time, if that was what she wanted, his fucked up way of thinking meant that he had to give it to her. If she didn’t want to need him, then all he could do was let her go.

“Dad!”

He hadn’t been paying attention to Laila, but now turned his focus to the work sheet she was showing him. Jesse had never been good at reading or writing. Math had come easy to him. Math was numbers, which always added up the same way, unlike words, which could be spelled the same and mean different things¸ or the other way around. Laila was showing him a list of sentences she needed to do something with. What, he wasn’t sure.

“You have to pick out the subject and object,” his daughter said patiently, her pencil tapping.

“Your mom would be much better at this.” Jesse scratched his chin beneath the stubble of a beard he’d been letting go for the past couple days.

“Too bad she’s not here.” Ah. This kid. Totally his, not that he’d ever doubted it. From the moment of her birth when she’d opened those eyes and squalled, he’d known he’d had a part in making her.

Jesse leaned to lightly smack the back of her head. “Wiseass.”

“Look it up on the computer.” Laila grinned without shame, showing him a smile so much like Diane’s it gave his heart a little pang. She was going to be a heartbreaker in a year or so, and he wasn’t looking forward to that at all.

“You look it up.” Jesse pulled out his phone to check for messages he knew wouldn’t be there.

“Dad!”

“Sorry, kid. I’m useless with this stuff.” Jesse tucked away his phone and bent back to the work sheet. “Can you get a friend to help? Or wait for your mom?”

Laila shook her head. “It’s due tomorrow.”

And she was spending the night with him, since Diane had gone away on a business trip that Jesse suspected had more to do with the fact she’d replaced Edward with that guy from her office than an actual, necessary overnight stay. He didn’t begrudge her or anything like that. Laila spent more time with her mother, and Diane deserved a break to get her freak on, even if she was being hypocritical about it. But it was stuff like this homework assignment that made Jesse feel like a failure as a dad, and that was never cool.

“Okay. Let’s figure this out.”

Two hours later, they’d finished up the homework, made some popcorn and settled in front of the TV to catch up on streaming episodes of
Perfect Strangers
. Laila couldn’t get enough of crazy Balki and his belabored cousin Larry. And Jesse couldn’t get enough of this time with his kid, who was growing up too fast. That didn’t stop him from playing around on his phone, though, while they watched.

Colleen didn’t have a Connex account, or if she did, she had it locked down so private he couldn’t find it. She didn’t tweet or post to PicStream, and a search of her name brought up thousands of results. Switching his search to images only, Jesse told himself it wasn’t creepy or stalkery to be doing this, even as he made sure to keep his phone shielded from the too-curious eyes of his precocious kid.

Laila wasn’t fooled, though. “Who is she?”

Caught, Jesse swiped his phone’s screen to erase his business. “Who? Nobody. What?”

“You’re checking out a lady.” Laila scooped a handful of unpopped kernels and let them roll around in her mouth to suck off the butter and salt, unconcerned that she might choke on them. Or at the very least, crack a tooth.

Jesse held up the bowl. “Get rid of that mess. Your mom will kill me if you break your teeth.”

“Ugh, Dad, c’mon.” She bent to spit into the bowl anyway. She eyed him through the fringe of her sandy hair. “So, who is she?”

“Nobody.”

“Is she the one you’ve been spending all that time with? Is she the friend whose house you were at when you got snowed in?”

“I can’t put one over on you, huh?” Jesse frowned. “Yeah. We’ve been spending time together.”

“I knew it was a lady! Is she your girlfriend?” Laila’s eyes gleamed, and she got up on her knees on the couch.

“No, Laila. She’s not my girlfriend.” The truth sucked.

“But you like her a lot?” Laila narrowed her eyes to look him over.

Jesse snorted softly. “I barely know her.”

“So how come you’re looking her up on the internet? Why didn’t you just ask her if you could text her? Girls like it when you just ask.” She said this so nonchalantly that Jesse was reminded again how different things were for kids now. And again how much trouble he was in for with this kid.

“I did text her,” he admitted. “She didn’t answer me. That’s her way of saying no, I guess.”

Laila scoffed. “To you?”

“Yeah. To me. Hey, kiddo, it’s getting late. You should get ready for bed.” Jesse took the bowl and stood, but Laila stopped him.

“If you really like her, you should tell her, Dad. That’s what Mom says. She says when you really like somebody there’s no point in waiting to tell them, because if you don’t, someone else will.”

“Your mom’s full of good advice.”

“She says Barry told her he liked her right away, and that’s how she knew she should give him a shot,” Laila added.

Jesse tried not to laugh, which would offend her. “Barry, huh? That guy she works with? You like him okay?”

“He’s okay.” She shrugged and got off the couch. “He’s got a big TV and all the cable stations. And a cat.”

“Ah. He sounds great.”

Laila launched herself at him, almost spilling the popcorn kernels as she squeezed him. “He’s not you, Dad. Don’t worry.”

Okay, so maybe he’d worried. Just the tiniest bit. Now he squeezed her back and tugged her ponytail. “Go get ready for bed.”

She was right, he thought later as he cleaned up the kitchen from dinner and paid some bills. The wind gusted hard outside, reminding him that winter wasn’t over yet. There were more storms coming, for sure. And if he wanted to spend any of them stranded with Colleen again, he’d better figure out a way to make that happen. At least he had to try.

But when Thursday rolled around again, no matter how many times he looked up at the jingle of the bell over The Fallen Angel’s door announcing a new arrival, none of the customers were her.

* * *

“You look like shit.”

Leave it to Mark to be so blunt, Colleen thought as she poured herself a mug of coffee she didn’t want, but would drink anyway because what she really wanted was a doughnut. Mondays, Mondays. Ugh. “Gee, thanks.”

“Seriously.” He leaned too close for social propriety, almost like he wanted to sniff her. Or lick her. Either way, it was too close.

Colleen stepped back. “I’m tired. That’s all. Haven’t been sleeping.”

“Ah. Up too late?” Mark grinned, showing all his teeth. He made a dirty gesture with one hand. “New guy?”

Her lack of sleep was certainly none of Mark’s business, even if he’d always had a way of worming out the most personal details of her life. “Old guy, actually.”

“Steve’s been bothering you?”

She shrugged, not wanting to admit how Steve still managed to get under her skin. She’d managed to ignore him for a week, until he sent her flowers and an apology. She hated the flowers and didn’t believe for a second he was sorry about anything, but dammit, she didn’t want him doing anything to the beach house she didn’t know about.

The past two days it had been nitpickery of the highest order. He was all over her about changing the rental management company, claiming they were the reason he’d needed to break the window. He wanted to fire Joe. He wanted to raise the summer rental rates and offer more weeks, which would mean less time there for both of them even if it meant more income. It was stupid stuff, pointless and done solely, she knew, to get under her skin. He’d also started needling her about updating the decor.

“Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier,” Mark suggested. “That’s what I told my last ex-wife when she wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Colleen frowned. “It’s not that simple, and you know it.”

Mark could be arrogant and wacky and inappropriate; he was also incredibly astute. “Come into my office.”

“I have a client at four—”

“Now.”

With a sigh, Colleen followed him into his office, where he waved her onto one of the weirdly squishy chairs in front of his desk. She cupped her mug in both hands, warming them. With the harsh winter they’d been having, Mark’s office had become almost impossible to keep above sixty-five degrees.

“Look. What’s it gonna take for you to boot him out of your life altogether? Get moving on? Start dating, for crying out loud? Beautiful woman like you, sleeping alone?
No bueno
. I’d have a go at you myself if I didn’t think it would get us both in all kinds of trouble.”

“Totally inappropriate,” Colleen scolded, but she smiled.

“So quit.” Mark sat back in his chair and propped his feet on the desk, his hands behind his head. “Walk out. Leave me and all this behind. Forge onward!”

She’d thought about quitting more than once, though she knew there was no way she would. Mark had given her this job when she needed to escape from a bad situation, and he’d done it to help her, not because she was qualified. No matter how she’d proven herself in the interim, she could never forget that.

“You don’t need me, you know,” Mark said. “You could go work anywhere.”

His words touched that soft and rotten place inside her that shamed her even as it formed a big part of her core. Her smile faded. “I know that.”

“This is a terrible place to work.”

It wasn’t. It was weird, and Mark was hard to work for sometimes, but she’d had worse jobs. She shook her head in silence.

“Steve’s an asshole, Colleen.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Mark stared at her, saying nothing. Colleen stared back. No way was she going to tell him about Jesse. Wild horses couldn’t have dragged it out of her.

“I met someone,” Colleen said.

Mark grinned. “I knew it! Tell Uncle Marky all about it. Is he a strong, powerful businessman with a penchant for rooms painted like cherries?”

“Um, no.” Colleen shivered as she thought of how Jesse had knelt for her, then got herself under control. She gave Mark a stern look. “And you’re not my uncle.”

“Doctor? Lawyer?”

“No!” She shook her head, trying not to laugh because that would only encourage him, and dammit, Mark could be totally out of line and completely nuts, but he was damned good at getting to the heart of things.

“He’s a professor. You always did like the smarty-pants types.”

“No.” She paused, then with a sigh, owned up. “He’s a bartender.”

Mark steepled his fingertips below his chin. “Ah. That’s quite a departure for you.”

“Don’t you judge him for being a bartender!”

“Are you sure
you’re
not judging him for being a bartender?” Colleen’s mouth closed with an audible snap. Mark grinned again. He shook a finger at her. “Ah, ah, ah. It’s not what a man does. It’s who he is that matters.”

“I don’t know who he is. Just that he’s a bartender. And he’s younger. And if you call me a cougar, I swear I will jump across that desk and throttle you with your own tie.”

Mark frowned. “So violent.”

Colleen sniffed and sipped her terrible coffee.

“I’d never call you a cougar. That’s entirely too predatory. And something tells me this younger guy, this bartender, pursued you.”

Heat flooded her at the memory of it. She put her mug on the desk and linked her fingers together. “It was mutual.”

“He made you feel something.” Mark shook a finger again. “I can tell.”

“It was nothing. There was nothing, it was just...a weekend thing, we were snowed in. I was upset about Steve, and I went to the bar, and it was just... It just happened. That’s all. And then a few times after that.”

“And you’re still seeing him?”

“Oh. No.”

It was all over now. She’d let herself get too close too fast. She’d let herself miss Jesse and want him. And he’d known it, too, because she’d admitted it.

“You needed me,” Jesse had said.

And it had been true.

“You’re stupid,” Mark said flatly. “This guy blew your skirt up in a major way.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“You didn’t have to. I’ve known you for what, fifteen years now? And in all that time, I’ve never heard you so much as whisper the mention of another man’s name besides that asshole ex-husband.” Mark shrugged and recrossed his feet. “So this guy must’ve done something right.”

Jesse had done everything right, that was the problem.

“Can I get back to work now?”

“Not until you tell me what it was about this guy that got you so flustered.” Mark flicked a glance toward the office door. “Then you can go make me more money.”

Colleen sighed and rubbed gently at the spot between her eyes for a second, unwilling to put into words what she’d been avoiding thinking about since leaving Jesse’s apartment. Mark wouldn’t let it go. And there was something about confession being good for the soul, right?

“He was really accommodating. Really sweet. And he seemed to know how to... He liked to... I mean, he was okay with me being... Shit.”

Mark’s feet hit the floor with a thump and he leaned forward, face serious. “Spill it.”

“Maybe Steve’s right, that’s all.” Colleen swallowed bitterness at the admission.

“About you needing to control everything?”

It burned that Mark knew that, but she nodded.

He snorted derision. “The guy who’s trying to force you into putting up tacky copper schools of fish in every room of your condo is still trying to tell you that you’re the one with control issues?”