Authors: Leen Elle
"I can stay up! I'm a big girl!"
"Yes you are darling, but if you get sleepy, you can rest in my bed." Lilli soothed.
"Are any other boys coming?" Dylan asked quickly, tugging at his small suit jacket.
"I think the Walters were invited so Daniel may be here. If you get bored, I have some coloring books in my bedroom, just come and find me and I'll get them for you."
"What do you say boys?" Pat asked, his eyebrows raised in expectation.
"Thank you Lilli." the boys said in unison.
"You're welcome, please come in and make yourselves at home. Not too many people are here yet, so I'm not sure if you'll know anyone here. But there's apple cider on the table and appetizers will be out in a minute."
The door opened behind Lilli and Viv entered the house. Lilli wrapped her arms around her friends neck and scolded her in a whisper for her tardiness. Viv apologized, claiming that she couldn't find her shoes. Lilli held in a laugh, knowing that Viv was always late because she waited too long to get ready.
"You're lucky I was able to stall in the kitchen."
"Oh please...you wouldn't have died."
"I might have! The first three people were some of my mothers dinner guests. You know, the men that never smile."
"I am so excited to see these guys!"
"Viv! You're supposed to help me avoid them!"
"Did I mention, you look stunning!" Viv said with a sly smile. "These guys are all going to be fighting for you! What a night this is going to be."
"Should I change into something more ugly?"
"Absolutely not! First, I don't think it would make a difference, and would you really deprive me of such entertainment?"
"You are such a good friend..."
"I know," Viv smiled. "Now, let's get into the thick of it!"
Lilli sighed and let Viv drag her into the dining room where the few other guests waited. Immediately, she noticed Frank, Robert and Carl. They stood around the room, clinging to their apple cider. Viv gripped Lilli's arm tightly, nearly cutting off the circulation to her fingers, it was very clear she was trying to hold back a laugh. Who wouldn't laugh at the sight of these three, stodgy, uptight, perfectly pressed, delusional men. It was very obvious that each man thought that Lilli would be the perfect wife by the way they watched her, and it made her feel uncomfortable.
Trying to appear occupied, and unavailable, Lilli busied herself with the O'Connor children. Bridget was telling her about a new story her mother had read to her and her brothers. The boys, were using their empty glasses as toy trucks, having a race. Viv wandered around, talking to the other few guests she knew, before coming to steal Lilli from her charges.
"They have been staring at you since you entered the room, all three of them. Their eyes never leave you! It's getting a little creepy." Viv whispered, pushing her toward the appetizer tray.
"I know! Did you think I was lying when I told you about..."
"Shh!" Viv said frantically, her eyes pointing to a place behind Lilli. "One of them is coming toward us."
Lilli didn't dare turn, but she tossed her hair enough to see Robert advancing toward her. His eyes were set on her, unblinking, as he continued. Far too quickly, he was next to her, she couldn't help but notice his fingers tapping nervously at his side. A moment passed, awkward, unpleasant silence surrounding them. Lilli's eyes darted around the room, looking for some kind of salvation.
"Good evening Miss Windsor." he said finally. "I was very excited to get the invitation tonight, at the thought of meeting with you again." Though he claimed excitement, his face or voice certainly didn't show evidence of it.
Lilli blushed, her eyes jumping all over the room, "You may call me Lilli, Robert, remember, we talked about this when you came for dinner?"
"Yes, of course, forgive my formality, it's how I was raised."
"It's alright Robert," Lilli forced a smile. "Oh, this is my friend Vivian Davis."
Robert bowed, as if he was a gentleman in an Austen novel, "A pleasure to meet you Miss Davis."
"Good to meet you too." Viv smiled, rolling her eyes at Lilli, nearly causing her to burst into laughter.
"Lilli, I was wondering if you would like to dance."
"But, no one else is dancing." Lilli smiled, thinking she was safe.
"I thought, perhaps, we could be the first..." he said nervously, wiping a hand on his trousers, looking at the floor.
Viv's eyes opened wide, as if to say Lilli should accept his offer. Lilli could tell he was nervous, and felt badly for his discomfort, but she didn't want to dance. Everyone would watch, and it would lead Robert to believe she might be interested in him. Viv urged her again to accept, mouthing some type of encouragement in her direction.
"Sure, I would love to, thank you for asking." Lilli sighed, trying her best to sound sincere.
Robert lead her to the only empty space in the room, holding her modestly. His hands were sweaty, and she couldn't help but notice how stiff his shirt felt under her hands. She swayed to the music, focusing on staying at arms length as she kept her eyes pointed over his shoulder. His monotone voice mumbled on and on through the song and she managed to keep him appeased with a few graceful murmurs. That she was able to keep him unaware of her disinterest, proved that he wasn't paying her any kind of particular attention. Robert Denton liked to talk, he didn't care who he was talking to, he didn't even care if they listened. This was the kind of man her mother wanted her to marry, a dreadful bore who lacked any personality.
After her first dance with Robert, she had to endure two other, equally tiring dances. She was granted a bit of satisfaction, however, when Viv was forced to dance. Instead of thinking of the men who's sweaty palms were grasping her hands, she imagined Joe, suave and charming, spinning her romantically around the room. If she concentrated very hard, she could hear his voice, whispering secrets as he held her close.
"
I'm glad I'm here." he smiled, his gaze locked with hers as he lowered her toward the floor, one steady arm on the small of her back.
"
I am too, it's such a relief to know you're safe, and here
."
she smiled, unable to keep the wide grin off her lips.
"
At night, in my lumpy bedroll, I dreamt of holding you tight, keeping you close while the music played."
"
It's rather romantic that you think of me as a dream come true..."
"
You are far better than any dream I've ever had. In my dream, I couldn't smell the sweet honeysuckle and pears that cling to your skin. I couldn't intertwine my fingers in your velvety hair, or measure your petite hand against my own. In my greatest dream I couldn't see the excited gleam in your eye, or hear the pitch of your voice. In my dreams, you are just a figment, and now, you are real, and better than I ever could have ever hoped."
Lilli nestled closer to him, tightening her grasp on the man she was never sure would return. "I love you Joe, I always will."
Lilli blinked, refocusing her gaze on the black shoulder in front of her. She turned her head, hoping to see Joe standing in a corner, anywhere. She loved him, she loved him and she couldn't tell him. Not in a letter. Then again, maybe a letter would be more safe, less hurtful if his feelings didn't match her own. She would think about it, surely she didn't have to write it in the next letter, especially if she would have a whole life time to tell him. Now, more than ever, she had to believe that he would return safely, she had to believe she wouldn't lose the man she loved.
Chapter 10
March 16, 1944
December 25, 1944
Dearest Joe,
Merry Christmas! I decided that you are the one person I want to spend my Christmas Day with. I've managed to sneak away from the festivities to see you the only way I can. I'm looking at your picture, imagining what we'd be saying, what we'd be doing. I think the morning would have started with two cups of coffee with you forcing me to open the perfect give you had bought me. You would have been far too impatient to see the look on my face. Then, of course, you'd open my gift, which would not be as perfect, because I don't possess the same amount of patience.
After presents you'd sing carols with me, adding a strong male voice to the chorus. Then we'd have dinner with the family, Roast Beef with mashed potatoes, green beans, corn and apple pie for dessert. You would hold my hand under the table the whole night, except when you needed to cut something or butter a roll. The day would end with hot apple cider or egg nog and a kiss from me. How does it sound? I can't wait for a real Christmas with you by my side. Sorry for the shortness of this letter, but I'm being called for dinner. Stay safe Joe, I'm dreaming of Christmas in your arms.
Affectionately,
Lilli
February 14, 1944
Dear Joe,
I hope you are doing well and Happy Valentines Day! I know if you were here, you'd have an entire day planned for us to enjoy. I only hope that next year, you'll be here so we can celebrate properly. Not to mention, I certainly won't miss worrying about you.
Your last letter frightened me a bit more than usual. You never talk about your struggles with the war. Your letter paired with the news reports on the radio have left me very worried. I know as a rule, wars are always more difficult as they continue. Hopefully the difficulties you are facing will soon subside. I would like nothing more than to hear you are out of harms way.
Everything about this war seems to have intensified. Even Viv is worried now. Apparently she's become very fond of one of the boys she met at the U.S.O. He is here for training one more month, but she is worried about what he is getting into. Sorry this letter is dreary, and won't help to lift your spirits at all.
Let me try to amend that. Today I took the O'Connors for ice cream. You would have laughed at the sight of it! Bridget had ice cream everywhere. She was a mess, no amount of napkins helped clean her up. I had to take them all home to give her a bath because she was crying about her state of sickness! Of course the boys and I were laughing behind our hands. You definitely would have laughed being there, I know you would have enjoyed the day. Please stay safe!
Affectionately,
Lilli
March 2, 1944
Dear Joe,
I was very excited to hear about Sarah! I can't believe she married him! I suppose it makes sense through with all that is happening today. Honestly, part of me wishes that I had married you that night after our walk. At the same time, how much more would I be worrying about you if you were my husband. I hope that Sarah doesn't have to endure that kind of worry. Did you ever find out why her husband isn't yet enlisted? It is a shame that you couldn't be there, but I am sure they took pictures, and you have Katie and Annie's weddings to look forward to. I'm sure Sarah would have waited for you to come home if she thought she could.
How are Katie and Annie doing? Have you heard anything about Kate's secret romance? I hope that Annie hasn't wrecked your father's truck yet! You must miss them all terribly, and I know they miss you as well.