Captives (36 page)

She drew her hair in front of her shoulders and twisted the curls together to form a fat ringlet on each side. She ran her hands over her waist, admiring how thin it seemed after so many InstaWraps and tiny meals. With so many major changes, why didn’t she feel pretty? She could tell she was pretty. Prettier anyway. Not like Jemma or Mia, of course. But she wasn’t ugly.

Then why did she still feel ugly?

Maybe because she was going to get pregnant? But that didn’t make sense. Both Kendall and Naomi were beautiful even with their bulging bellies.

Shaylinn sat back on the exam table. Eighteen minutes passed by
on the mirror clock before someone knocked twice and cracked open the door.

“You ready, Shaylinn?” Mason’s voice.

She smiled, eager to see someone else from their village. “Yes, come in.”

Mason pushed in the door and closed it before meeting Shaylinn’s gaze. His eyes were fierce and moist and had circles under them.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

He scratched the back of his neck and looked just about every place in the exam room he could but at her.

“Mason, look at me.”

So he did, drumming his fists against the sides of his legs. “I can’t stop it, Shaylinn. I tried. I mean …” He stepped up to the exam table and lowered his voice. “We could run. But they can track our SimTags, so they’d catch us and just do the procedure anyway.”

“It’s okay, Mason.” Shaylinn lifted her chin. “I’m ready.”

“What?” His eyebrows sank low. “How can you be so calm?”

Shaylinn shrugged. “You’re going to laugh.”

“No, I won’t.”

“I … I had a dream. A beautiful dream. And … I think God is going to do something big. This place needs hope. I mean, there’s so much wonder in this city, and it looks good at first, but it’s empty. I can’t explain it very well, I guess. But I just wonder, what’s the point of looking beautiful on the outside if you’re dead on the inside?”

Mason’s posture wilted. “Shaylinn, do you feel dead inside?”

Did she? “Sometimes. There are things that poison me, I think. Words I tell myself. But I was thinking, if I didn’t know that God loved me the way I am, if I didn’t believe he made me who I am for a reason, I’d feel dead all the time. Every little thing would poison me, and I’d do everything I could to try and make it better.”

“Shaylinn, you can’t fix yourself. You’re not broken.”

“I know. I do. It’s hard to remember sometimes. But I think God is going to turn death into new life. It’s what he does, right?”

Mason’s face softened. “I didn’t expect you to behave so calmly, Shaylinn. Your maturity is quite impressive.”

For some reason the word
maturity
embarrassed Shaylinn, and she looked at the floor.

“Okay,” Mason said, “let’s get you weighed.” He helped her lay back then extended the table to its full length. “Put your feet up, please.”

Shaylinn swung her legs up onto the table. “Mason?”

“Hmm?” His gaze shifted between the scale’s readout on the edge of the bed and his CompuChart.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

He looked at her and swallowed.

She pursed her lips. “Don’t worry. I’m not in love with you.”

He fought a smile. “Thank you?”

“I ask because it’s one of my poisons—thinking I’m hideous and fat,” Shaylinn said. “And I thought if a man told me how pretty I was, everything would be okay. But the other night a man did say I was pretty, but it didn’t change anything. Maybe because I didn’t want
that
man to say it. What’s wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Shaylinn. You’re human.” He tapped on his CompuChart and helped her sit up. “We all believe lies about ourselves. Something likely happened to make you believe you were hideous and fat—which I don’t think you are, by the way.” He paused. “I hope my father’s words didn’t make you think you were ugly. You never were.”

She remembered when Elder Justin had called her fat. But there had been many such things before then. And none had ever bothered her as much as when Omar had called her an ugly crybaby. “Do
you
believe a lie, Mason?”

Mason moaned out a laugh. “Shaylinn … I do, but you can’t tell anyone.”

She shook her head. “I won’t tell a soul.”

“Okay.” Mason took a deep breath. “I believe that I’m … backward somehow. Girls don’t like the smart boy. They like muscles and who
can kill the biggest bear, so … when we were in Glenrock I used to always think, who would ever love me? No one.”

Shaylinn’s eyes glossed with tears. Again, she was about to cry. “That’s not true, Mason.”

He grinned and lowered his gaze. “Yes, I know. And your lie isn’t true either. Shaylinn, you’re a beautiful young woman. Believe anything else, and you’re believing a lie.”

“Thank you, Mason.”

“Glad to help.”

The door opened, and Ciddah entered. “Are we ready to proceed?”

“Uh … no,” Mason said, his cheeks flushing. “I’m not quite finished.”

Ciddah folded her arms. “What’s taking you so long to get her vitals?”

“We were—”

“Mason was counseling me on a personal matter,” Shaylinn said.

“He’s very wise. And handsome. And loveable.”

Mason glared at Shaylinn.

Ciddah raised her eyebrows. “Yes, well. We all love Mason.” She glanced at him and flipped out her hair. “Please come get me when you’re ready.”

“I will,” Mason said.

Ciddah left and closed the door behind her.

“You like her!” Shaylinn said.

Mason edged away and tapped on his CompuChart. “Another lie you believe, I think.”

“
No …
I saw the look on your face when she walked in. You blushed.”

Mason set down his CompuChart and picked up the blood pressure cuff. He took Shaylinn’s hand and slid the cuff up her arm. “I
don’t
blush.”

She laughed and kicked her feet. “Oh, sure. No boy blushes more than you, Mason of Elias. So? What are you going to do? Are you going to kiss that pretty doctor?”

Mason squeezed the bulb again and again, and the cuff got tighter and tighter. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to sphygmomanometer you to death.”

“What?”

“Sphygmomanometer.” He tapped the blood pressure cuff. “It’s what this is called.”

“That’s a crazy long name. Say it again.”

A smile grew on Mason’s face. “Sphygmomanometer.”

Shaylinn giggled. Mason took off the cuff and turned to set it against his CompuChart.

“Will I get the thin plague like Kendall?” Shaylinn asked.

“That’s doubtful,” he answered, his back still facing her.

“Why?”

“The thin plague is passed through blood. Or bodily fluids,” Mason explained. “And supposedly the donor …” He paled, and his eyes lost focus.

Shaylinn thought of Mia and Rand sucking each other’s faces. “You mean kissing?” She gasped. “Is
that
why you won’t kiss the doctor?”

Mason snapped out of his daze and rubbed his temple. “No, Shaylinn, I don’t mean kissing. Mostly, uh … relations. As long as you aren’t intimate with an infected person, you can’t contract the thin plague.”

Shaylinn pondered that. “Strange that I can have a baby but never have …”

“Yes,” Mason said, nodding at the floor. “It is strange.” He picked up his CompuChart and faced her. “Um … I’m finished, Shaylinn. So I’m going to leave now. Ciddah will be in momentarily, I’m sure. I’ll be praying for you. I’m glad God gave you peace about this, but, well, I’m still nervous for you.”

“Thank you, Mason. When will I know if it worked or not?”

“Ciddah says you’re to come back on Monday to find out.”

“Monday,” Shaylinn said.

“That’s right.”

Shaylinn swung her legs from side to side. “Until Monday, then.”

Shaylinn didn’t feel all that different after the procedure. It had been awkward and cold, but it hadn’t hurt. And now she was tucked into bed, being spoiled by Jemma, Naomi, and Kendall. She even ate a bowl of ice cream Jemma had brought her, despite it not being on Tyra’s list of approved foods.

Mason had said that the thought
Shaylinn is hideous and fat
was a lie. And Shaylinn refused to believe any more of those. Something big was going to happen soon, and Shaylinn was holding on to that dream of a calm and peaceful future.

D
ayle called Levi on his truck radio while he was working his route. “Rewl needs some help with a big graffiti job over in front of City Hall. They want it covered fast. Go help.”

“Yes, sir.” Levi drove over to City Hall and parked along the street. The graffiti was hard to miss. The words
Free Lonn
had been painted across the second-floor windows.

A Highlands Public Tasks truck had been parked up on the sidewalk right in front of the doors. A man wearing a gray jumpsuit was shooting water at the graffiti with a hose that was attached to the truck. He had wide-set brown eyes, big lips, and very little brown hair. Levi walked over to Rewl. “Dayle said you need some help.” The man lowered the hose and stopped the water flow. “Nah, I got this, shell.” He spoke like he was pinching his nose. “I just painted it a few hours ago, so it’s coming down nice and easy.”

Levi looked around them, but there was no one. “You did that? How’d you get up there?”

“That’s my secret.” Rewl grinned, baring teeth that were etched with black stripes. “Listen, I’m the guy who held your SimTag last night.” Rewl lifted his fist. He was wearing gloves too. It had been so
dark in the Hunter last night, Levi hadn’t gotten a good look at the guy. “Bender says to tell you, ‘Where’s your transmitter, shell?’ Says he can’t help you if he can’t reach you.”

Levi had left the piece of glass at the Larkspur. “Sorry. I mean, tell him I said sorry.”

“Tell him yourself, shell.” Rewl raised the hose and turned it back on. Water shot out at the graffiti and sprinkled on Levi’s head.

A distant chorus of voices captured Levi’s attention. He strained to make out the faint sound, but the water from Rewl’s hose was too loud.

“Do you hear singing?” Levi asked.

Rewl shut off the hose again and tilted his head. “It’s coming from the Harem Gardens.”

Levi blinked at Rewl and sprinted toward the harem.

“Hey, shell, where you going?”

Levi darted down the sidewalk and over a grassy lawn that led up to a wall of bushy green trees. When he got closer, he found that the spaces between the foliage were filled with chain link fence. Through the links Levi could see nothing but a wall of trees on the other side. The coil of barbed wire on top of the fence ended the brief thought that he might climb over.

He could hear the singing more clearly now.

“Jemma!” Levi slipped between two bushes and edged along the fence looking for a break in the wall of green, any place that would allow him to see inside.

Someone grabbed his arm from behind. “Hey,
softie,
” Rewl said.
“It’s illegal to talk to the harem girls. You’re going to earn that third X in a hurry.”

Levi’s heart was beating so fast his hands were trembling. “I can hear my fiancée!”

Rewl’s gaze flickered between the fence and the street. “I’ll keep watch, but if I see anyone coming, you’ve got to run, hear me?”

Levi pressed deeper into the tangle of trees. The singing had stopped, but the bubbling sound of women’s voices reminded him of passing the meeting hall on a tanning day: a lot of talking and giggling, and little he could pick out of the conversations. A gap in two trees revealed the women sitting in a circle on the grass. There was Jennifer! And Chipeta and Mia and … Jemma sat between Mia and Naomi. She was wearing a light blue dress.

“Jemma!”

Her head twitched, turned to the back fence.

“On the other side of the fence!” Levi yelled. “In the trees!”

The other women’s heads turned; the entire circle focused on the back fence. Jemma stood and helped Naomi stand. Levi couldn’t help staring at Naomi’s belly. She looked like she’d swallowed a small boulder.

The women began to sing again, all but Jemma and Naomi, who slowly made their way toward the fence, stopping to pick a flower here and there. Their pace was maddening.

Finally, they were close enough that he heard Jemma ask, “Who’s there?”

“It’s Levi, Jem.”

“Oh!” She ran into the trees then leaving Naomi behind. He lost sight of her a few yards to his left. “Where are you?” Her voice sounded panicked.

He scraped through the tangle of branches, trying to reach her more quickly. “Here.”

She stepped into view between two bushy trees. Her beauty stole his breath, and he threaded his fingers through the chain links and squeezed, wanting to rip away the metal barrier.

She slid her fingers over his and pressed her face against the fence. He kissed what he could of her lips and face, tasting the bitter metal between them.