Captured Innocence (CSA Case Files) (18 page)

Chapter Nineteen

Connor didn’t answer her question immediately and instead pushed his plate away.  He reached for his coffee, acquiring him more time before he had to answer.  Lauren was wrong in her assumption that men wanted to
fix
women.  Dominant men protected their women, even from their own fears.  She’d know that if she’d given someone in the lifestyle who truly knew what they were doing a chance to help her overcome her anxieties.

“Did you rid
e a bicycle when you were young?” Connor asked.  He drained the rest of his coffee and stood.  Again, he waved her off when he reached for the plates.  “You made the majority of breakfast, so I’ll clean up.  Back to my question—did you?”

“Yes.”  Lauren appeared slightly cautious
as to where he was leading this, but Connor felt she’d see his point of view in the end.  “I did.”

“Did you start with training wheels?”  Connor went to the sink on the far side of the kitchen and busied himself with rinsing them off before placing them in the dishwasher.  “Or did you learn straight from the get-go?”

“Training wheels,” Lauren replied.  He could hear the resignation in her voice.  “I can see where you’re going with this, but using training wheels is totally different than using a person who has feelings.”

“Did you try once and then give up?” Connor asked, remaining on topic and not allowing her to steer the conversation. 

He’d let her take the lead up to this point in their relationship, because he’d truly thought she didn’t
want
to be part of the lifestyle.  But now that he knew different and that it was a fear she didn’t want to confront, he sought to see how far he could push her before she realized she could have everything she desired.

“Of course I tried more than once.”  Lauren’s voice was closer, but he didn’t turn around.  Connor kept his focus on the dishes.  She finally sidled closer and into his peripheral vision.  “But like I said
—”

“And different ways?  You know, on grass or the sidewalk.  Maybe a slight incline or a straightaway?”

“Yes,” Lauren answered, her tone becoming clipped.

“Will you tell me what happened with your friend?”

“And what if I tell you that I want to end this conversation and continue with what we’ve been doing?”

Connor loaded the last dish and then reached for the towel on the counter.  Taking his time, he dried his hands before tossing it back on the granite and turning to he
r.  Within seconds, he had his arms placed on either side of her.  A tiny gasp escaped her lips and she tilted her head up so that their eyes connected.  Her pupils dilated and her gaze dropped to his lips.

“Do you really want it to be like that?” Connor murmu
red. The green of her eyes deepened and he wouldn’t have continued to push if he didn’t think she was willing.  “If you truly want to continue the way we are, we will. I’m enjoying myself.  You’re enjoying yourself. But I can offer you so much more and maybe, just maybe, when this ends…you can take more out of this than what you had coming in.”

“And what do you get out of this
?” Lauren whispered, her eyes searching his.

“The
satisfaction that I helped you grow,” Connor answered honestly.  “It’s like those training wheels.  If you tried the sidewalk and it didn’t work, then let’s try the grass.”

“You seem a little harder than grass,” Lauren murmured, dropping her gaze
when he didn’t smile.  This was too important to make light of right now.  “The minute Phil had my wrists confined, I panicked.  It’ll be no different with you.”

“The
n I won’t bind them,” Connor said bluntly, pushing away from her. He held out his hand and waited. “Give me one hour to show you what submission really is and whether or not it’s truly for you.  If at the end of that hour you find that it does nothing for you, we continue on with the way we were.”

Connor could see the temptation in her eyes.  She looked down at his outstretched hand
and then back up to his face.  He would love to know exactly what she was thinking and feeling, but all he saw was trepidation.  Lauren was so independent and strong-willed, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a submissive at heart.

She slowly nodded and Connor
released his pent-up breath.  He wasn’t so sure why it was important for him to have her accept this.  He didn’t think it had so much to do with her phobia as it did for a need within him to show her what the lifestyle was really about.

He
waited until her hand was within his and led her through the kitchen and living room area, not stopping until they reached the bedroom.  Connor turned her to him once they reached the bed and slipped his hands underneath her robe, pushing the material off of her shoulders.  Lauren didn’t move to help him, so he stopped before untying her lash.

“
Let’s try something,” Connor said, cradling her face.  “Have you ever been spanked?”

“I’m more worried about panicking
while tied up than I am about being spanked.” Lauren rested her hands on his forearms, though he could see the word alone caused her nipples to harden.

“That’s your problem,” Connor murmured, leaning in to capture her lips.  Once he had his fill, he pulled back.  “You seem to think that BDSM is all about bondage when that is far from the truth.  I think those implements you work with have tainted your
thoughts.  Can it add to a scene?  Yes, but it’s where your mind is that is vital.”

Connor let her hands fall when he moved his arms.  Taking his fingers, he trailed them around the mounds of her breasts, circling and circling until he came to her areolas.  Her nipples were now
aching, waiting to be touched.  He then started making larger motions outward.  She didn’t quite smother her groan. 

He
trailed one finger down her abdomen and through her curls.   One day, he would love to be the one to shave them off.  Connor brushed his knuckle across her clit, but he was more interested in her pussy.  She was damp, but not as wet as he knew she could be.

“See
, submission is a mental state.”  Connor reached for her belt and untied the material, allowing it to fall around her feet.  “I want you to walk around to the end of the bed, a few feet away, and stand there with your feet spread shoulder width apart.”

He saw her hesitate, but didn’t comment.  Connor never broke his stare, wanting her to know that his patience knew no bounds.  This was different than working with the subs at the clubs…they knew protocol and they were aware of most aspects when it came to scenes.  Regardless of what she did for a living, Lauren was basically an innocent.

She moved slowly, but she eventually did as he asked.  Connor rolled his shoulder, loosening the strained muscle.  It had been a while since he’d had a scene and this was too important to take lightly.  He walked through in his mind the way he wanted this to play out, needing her to crave more of what he was giving her when the scene was done.  That was how he would know it went well.

Taking his time and
believing that it would only further arouse her by letting her thoughts get carried away of what might happen, Connor removed his jeans and underwear.  He didn’t need a condom just yet, so he opted to leave the box in the drawer.  Walking around to where she was, he sat on the edge of the bed in front of her.  Leisurely, he looked her up and down.  Her curves were sensual and perfectly shaped into an hourglass.  Was Lauren even aware of what she did to him on a physical level?

“A couple ground rules,” Connor said, his voice deepening.  It always did when he was running a scene.  “You are not to speak unless asked a direct question.  You are to follow my orders.  It is that simple.  Do you have any questions?”

“Don’t I need a safe word?”

“We won’t be doing anything that
would require you to use one,” Connor answered.  “We will discuss safewords at a later time.  For now, all you have to do is say no.”

“
Okay.”  Lauren gave him a pointed stare.  “How is this helping with my fear of bondage?”

Connor didn’t answer right away, because he wasn’t sure it would
help alleviate her phobia.  But if Lauren understood that the lifestyle wasn’t all about being tied up and whipped, maybe she would see it for what it truly was…freedom.  She didn’t need to be bound to achieve freedom.

“Save that question for later,” Connor said.  “But remember this, for every order you do not follow, you’ll receive a
spanking — and that is when we will cover safewords.”

Lauren’s breath hitched, but she still stood in front of him without moving. 
He knew he was pushing with that last sentence, but she wasn’t unaware of what took place in the clubs.  She just seemed to have a misconception about bondage.

Her eyes searched his and Connor knew he wouldn’t address the normal submissive etiquette unless this went well.  Usually a submissive would avert her or his gaze.  They could always expand their scenes if she was willing.

“Lace your fingers behind your neck and take a step forward,” Connor ordered, keeping his voice low.  It took her a moment, but she did as he asked.  “Closer.”

Connor waited until her breasts were right in front of his face.  He then looked up, finding her heated gaze locked in on his.  He smiled
, and not breaking their connection, flattened his tongue and licked her nipple.  Lauren sucked in air but didn’t move.  Did she realize that although nothing was holding her hands behind her head, she’d kept them there at his request?  That was a form of bondage, but he would continue to test her limits.

“Do you like a little bit of pain with your sex,
Red?”

“Um,
no,” Lauren answered, her voice shaky.  “At least, I don’t think so.”

Connor had to resist the urge to chastise her for not using a title.  He reminded himself that this was just a test and not a true scene that would require the use of
Master
or
Sir
…although, he’d love to hear either word pass her lips.  It had been quite a few months since he’d played and he was coming to think that was a little too long to go without fulfilling his basic need to dominate.

Connor sealed his lips around her nipple and sucked slightly, bringing the hardened nub deeper into his mouth.  He gently rubbed his tongue over and over her nipple.  When he felt her push against him he lightly bit down, letting her feel what a nip
could do after an onslaught of pleasure.

Lauren gasped and she went to
jerk away, but he gripped her hips.  Using his tongue once more, he soothed the sting.  Gradually he pulled away and looked up into her beautiful face.  Her eyes were as dark as the sea and as in just as much turmoil. 

“Feel good?” Connor asked, knowing what her answer would be.  She nodded, as if afraid
speaking might ruin the moment.  “Let’s find out, shall we?”

Connor let one hand brush down over her skin and using one finger, ran it through her folds.  She was dripping wet.  He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her face and literally saw the flush rise up in her
cheeks.  It made her all the more beautiful.  How far would she allow him to go before moving her hands?

“
Your pussy is very wet, Red,” Connor murmured, loving how his words seemed to spark something within her.  He could swear he felt another dollop of cream leak out of her.  “That pleases me.”

* * * *

Lauren had never experienced anything like this in her life.  Her entire body felt like it was on fire and all he’d done was suck on her nipple and run his finger through her folds.  Was she wet?  Hell, yes.  She was drenched.  She was ready to come and wanted him to touch her clit.

This had nothing to do with bondage, but it felt good all the same.  A few commands and she was like putty in his hands.  Was she aroused enough not to panic if he tied her up?  No.  But she’d tell him later that his little scene didn’t work the way he thought
since she could still move her hands.  Right now, she wanted to come.

Lauren knew that his words made all the difference in this little play act he had going and something washed over her with his approval of her arousal.  She felt
elated that he was pleased, but didn’t stop to analyze it. 

“Connor, please touch my clit,” Lauren pleaded, knowing she wasn’t supposed to talk, but not able to help herself. 

“One,” Connor said.  He inserted his middle finger into her pussy and Lauren’s vision darkened.  God, that felt good.  She leaned her hips forward, hoping he’d go deeper.  He pulled out.  “We’ll see how many spankings you have earned by this evening, and then, only at the time of my choosing will you take your punishment.”

Lauren opened her mouth to protest,
but remembered at the last minute that he hadn’t asked her a question.  She wasn’t sure what she would have said, seeing as his words had affected her body in a way that she was just beginning to realize was beyond anything she had ever felt.  Her knees were beginning to shake and her heart rate was faster than normal.  Every time he spoke in that wicked way, her body responded.  Lauren wanted more.