Authors: Shari Richardson
"Well, I'm sure that will be enough to keep him safe," I said. "This isn't an order, but you can go anytime you want to, Alfred. Xavier and the panthers will be here soon and they probably shouldn't find you here."
Alfred nodded, rising from the battered chair. "I wanted to tell you something else, Mairin," he said. His words were hesitant, as though he were still fighting against me or what he felt he needed to say.
"Go ahead," I said.
"He isn't whole," Alfred whispered. "My son isn't whole."
I nodded. I'd known, deep down, what Alfred wanted me to know. "Neither am I, but he made his choice Alfred. He left me. I thought you'd be glad he chose immortals over humans."
"If I'd known what it would do to him, I might have wished for something else."
"You played a pretty big role in his decisions and the events which led to them. What you wish for means very little to me now, Alfred," I said.
"I realize that, Mairin," he said. The anger he'd held in check since his arrival rose to the surface and he looked as though he were considering his next move.
I heard Xavier's car rumble into the driveway. "Go," I said softly. Alfred's eyes widened, but he didn't fight the order. He was gone before Xavier's steps echoed on the porch. Guilt for having used this new and terrible power washed over me and Xavier found me silently weeping in the darkening living room.
I stepped carefully over the outstretched limbs of the sleeping panthers. Many of them snored or made other sleep noises, but Hector lifted his head to watch me cross the living room and head for the kitchen. He'd spent most of the strategic meeting and the ensuing hours of waiting watching me. I figured he had something he needed to say to me, but had wanted privacy.
"Want company?" he whispered. I shrugged and he picked his way through his brothers.
"Can I get you anything?" I asked, opening the fridge and digging for something to drink.
"Whatever you're drinking, if there's enough," Hector smiled. "I know my brothers probably cleaned you out."
I shrugged. "I don't mind. I'd rather they have whatever they want. I can buy more juice."
"You feel that way about just about everything, don't you?" Hector asked. "That you'd rather everyone else had what they wanted, no matter what it costs you."
I pushed the glass across the table at Hector and sat across from him. "I guess so," I said. "What makes you say that?"
"I've seen you do it," Hector said. "You put up with the pride, even when we're not particularly nice to you. You let Kerry get whatever she wants before you even express a preference. You even defer to Xavier when you really don't have to." Hector ran his hands through his hair and I could see he was uncomfortable with the idea that I didn't really have to step aside for Xavier. "Elise says that you're going to be some major metaphysical heavy and has warned the pride that at some point we may need to take orders from you, but you don't order. You defer. I just wondered why."
I toyed with my glass and avoided looking too closely at Hector. I didn't know how to answer him. Everything he'd said was true. I rarely did anything for myself before considering how my choices would affect those I cared about. Part of me knew that this particular habit often meant that I didn't get what I most desired, but the happiness and safety of those I loved meant more to me than my own desires.
"It's just how I am, Hector," I said finally. "There's really no deeper reason for it."
"I heard what you did in England," he said. "That was beyond deferring to the preferences of someone. It was suicidal."
"Obviously not," I said. "I'm still here."
"But not for lack of trying. Tell me you didn't want to die over there, Mairin, that you aren't hoping to die on the battlefield tomorrow."
"I don't want to die, Hector," I said, but even I didn't believe the words. "I really don't want to talk about this."
"Yeah, I know, but you need to talk about it before you go with us tomorrow. Xavier won't say it because he cares about you and Kerry and he doesn't want to argue with either of you before the battle. But I'm not Xavier. I really don't give two shits about you or Kerry beyond a pretty normal care for human life. I just need to know if you being with us tomorrow is going to get me killed. I get the feeling that somewhere in that twisted sense of giving others what they want, you think if you die tomorrow you'll save the rest of us. That's bullshit."
"You heard me this afternoon, Hector. I don't think Kerry or Elise or I should be there. We're the weak links and I think we're going to be a distraction to the pride. If I really thought my death would save all of you, would I be trying to figure out how to stay home?"
Hector considered for a moment. "Yeah, I think you would. I think maybe you're still trying to figure out how to sacrifice yourself so we don't even have to fight. And if you think that leech is going to save you at the last minute, you're wrong."
"Don't call him that," I said softly.
"It doesn't matter what I call him, Mairin. He's a blood sucking monster and he won't be rushing to the rescue on a white horse tomorrow."
"I know that."
"Do you really?" Hector demanded. "Because I think maybe that's what you're hoping for. I've dealt with vampires before, Mairin. They don't care about humans, period. I don't care what this one said to convince you otherwise and I don't care that he went for the demigod when it threatened you. It's a killer, they all are. And this one doesn't care that he's killing you because he let you think he was human and could love."
I swallowed hard over the lump in my throat. "I know Mathias isn't going to save me, Hector."
"Then why do you look hopeful every time someone mentions what they think the leech will be doing tomorrow? Do you want him to die? Because I could get on board with that."
"No!" I heard someone stir in the living room and lowered my voice. "Don't take your focus off the demons, Hector. Mathias will come and he will fight because he feels as though he's chained to me because of what happened in England. If he'd let go of that sense of duty, he could move on, but he won't."
"So he tortures you both."
"Yeah."
"Nice. Maybe I will take a swipe at him tomorrow."
"No," I said. "Just do your job, OK Hector? Let Mathias succeed or fail on his own."
"Yeah, whatever," he said, downing his juice and pushing back from the table. "Just don't expect me to save his ass if he gets it caught in a sling."
"I wouldn't expect that," I said. I already knew that the panthers wouldn't rush to Mathias' aid and that many, like Hector, would gleefully watch him go down. I was left to worry how many panthers would be dead by tomorrow in addition to wondering if the man who had taken my soul when he took himself away from me would survive the coming battle.
When Hector had gone, I lay my head down on the kitchen table. I knew Hector didn't like me, but it was something else to know he thought I would do something to harm the pride. By now, I would have thought that despite my choice of love, the pride would see that I worked for their best interests and that I would never do anything to endanger them or anyone else I considered part of my family. Regardless of what the members of the pride believed, I would go to the battle tomorrow because Elise said it was imperative that I be there. I would do everything in my power to keep my family safe. The future would have to wait until I was sure I'd have one.
***
The panthers stood in a loose group around Elise. She spoke to them individually, finding something encouraging to say to each young man or boy before hugging him and moving on to the next one. I saw her glance at me once, but I stayed back to allow the pride their privacy.
Kerry stayed at Xavier's side, her arm curled around his waist. Every so often, I would see him kiss the top of her head and she would smile. My chest constricted painfully, but I watched these moments of love avidly, like a starving man would watch someone eat a gourmet meal. It didn't matter that every kiss, every touch between my sister and Xavier destroyed something in me. What mattered was that love still existed for someone.
The stretch of beach we waited beside was one I had never been to before. Between East Hampton and Highland Home, the land that butted up to the state park's beach turned swampy and impassable. We'd had to take the vehicles we'd used over the sand to get here. The location Braden's father had chosen sat on a tiny inlet where the surrounding swampland made it invisible to anyone on the higher or lower beaches. There would be no witnesses or easy escape.
The wind rushed at us from all sides, seemingly caught in the trees and thrown back to us. The panthers kept watching the skies and I heard a few speculate that they'd be fighting in the rain if the battle didn't get started soon.
I sat on a small rock outcrop set slightly into the trees at the edge of the swamp. In my lap was a long and wickedly sharp blade Elise had handed me when we'd met that morning. The blade was all that stood between me and my death. Elise had had the blade blessed by some understanding priest so it would do more damage to the demons than my own tiny human strength could, but it did not make me feel safe. Instead it made me feel even more vulnerable. Again, I wondered why it was so important that Elise, Kerry and I be here to fight. There was nothing special about any of us that would save us should a demon come for us. Handing me a blade and saying, "Good luck," was tantamount to signing my death certificate in blood.
"Maire, you coming?" Kerry called. The panthers had relaxed and were waiting in small knots. Xavier would give the signal for them to change and for Kerry and Elise and me to take our places. As the only humans in the battle, our only job was to keep the battle in front of the panthers, to keep the demons from slipping past the cats to get behind them.
"No." I said. "I need a few minutes to myself." Kerry watched me a moment before nodding and turning back to Xavier. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I needed to be alone because if I got any closer to to her and Xavier, I was going to cry.
I was idly scanning the swamp when I saw him. His gold aura shone from between the trees like a beacon and I found I could not look away. Mathias stood still, watching the panthers. He scanned the area, his gaze stopping briefly on Kerry. A frown creased his brow and he shook his head. Then he found me. His eyes widened and a moment later his growl was carried across the swamp to my ears.
"Go home," he mouthed. I only shook my head. He cursed and I laughed. It must suck for a control freak when someone tells them no.
Mathias was making his way across the swamp to me when Xavier lifted his head, sniffed and gave the signal everyone had been waiting for. The panthers headed for the swamp. Xavier kissed Kerry once more and then pushed her toward me. His eyes caught mine over her shoulder and I could read his plea in his gaze, but he mouthed. "Take care of her."
I nodded and pulled Kerry to the place where she would be stationed, ready to give the alarm should the demons attempt to get past the panthers to flank them. I saw Elise in her place when Kerry and I reached her.
"Got your whistle?" I asked, pulling mine up from where in hung around my neck.
"Yeah," Kerry said. She was shaking and I hugged her.
"You can still leave. Kerry this isn't your fight."
"Elise says I need to be here. You believed her when she said you needed to be here. I believe her."
I looked closely at my sister and realized she'd matured significantly this summer. Guilt washed over me because I knew I was likely the reason for a lot of her aging.
"I love you," I said. "Promise me you'll be careful."
"I will if you will," she said.
"I promise," I said and for the first time since people had begun asking me to be careful enough to survive this battle, I meant it. "I'll be careful and we'll all go home tonight and put this behind us."
Kerry hugged me quickly. "I love you, too Sis. I'll see you soon."
I had just reached my position when a booming crash that sounded like thunder shook the ground. Braden's father had arrived.
He looked surprisingly human. I'm not sure what I expected, but the handsome, human-looking man standing before us now wasn't it. The creature who stood at the headland where the beach curled into the swamp was strikingly handsome in a dark, dangerous way, but any beauty he might exude paled in comparison to the red glow of his aura. His aura pulsated and I could see other figures in it, much like the panthers when they were upset. Braden's father had brought an army.
"Where are you, those who threatened my son? Show yourselves."
Mathias stepped out of the tree line on one side of the field, and Xavier stalked across the sand from the other. They glanced at each other before stopping about ten yards from the demon who snarled at them.
"I know you are not alone," it said. "Just as you know I am not." As he said this, the figures from his aura began to materialize around him until he was surrounded by his minions. I was having trouble counting them because they seemed to phase in and out of our plane. I estimated finally and my heart sank. There were more than fifty of them and only fifteen panthers, one vampire and three humans.
The panthers stalked out of the trees to flank Xavier. Mathias stood alone and my heart thundered in my chest. The evil smile Braden's father gave Mathias clearly said he knew where to begin the fight. The lone man out would be the first to fall if the demon had his way.
"I want your assurance that this will be the end of it," Mathias said.
Braden's father smiled. "Why would you take my word, vampire?"
"Because, Azael, I know that once you give it, you are bound by it. Even demons have rules." I wondered how Mathias had known the demon's name, but now wasn't the time for such questions.
"You are right," Azael said. "And I will give my word that the outcome of this battle will be the end of this conflict. I will not allow my son to be harmed in the future, but I will not seek vengeance against those who fight today or their families after this battle."