Kamryn—May 4, 2015
“KC! G
IRL,
I
am definitely going to need some chocolate to get through today.”
“Kinlee, seriously?” I huffed as I came through the double doors with trays of cupcakes. “We aren’t even open yet. That key I gave you was for emergencies if I wasn’t available.”
“You’re open, I flipped the board for you.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. I’d met Kinlee almost immediately after moving to Jeston, Oregon, and I thanked God every day for that. I’d never had a friend like her, and didn’t know how I would get through day-to-day life without her. “Only you, Lee, only you.” I handed over a chocolate cupcake with peanut-butter cream-cheese frosting and started stocking my pastry case.
Within two weeks of getting here, I’d bought an SUV, found a condo, and had already leased a small space for what would be my bakery. Over the next two and a half months I was overseeing renovations for KC’s Sweet Treats, and that’s how I’d met Kinlee. She was two years older than me, shorter than short, with long black hair and a bubbly personality I’d die for. She and her mom had the boutique right next door to me and she’d come by asking if I knew what was going to be put in next to her store. One thing led to another, and I was her new best friend because I could bake. Kinlee could be crude, she could be sweet, and she was loyal to those she cared for. And I absolutely adored every bit of her.
Barbara and I spoke at least once a week when Mom and Dad were both out of the house, and though I missed her like crazy, I didn’t regret my decision. I did feel bad for leaving her in that hell storm though. Apparently my parents and Charles’s family had gone nuts but ultimately saw it as a chance for more publicity and twisted it to wind up on a few news stations. How? I don’t know, and I really don’t care. Other than talking with Barbara, I didn’t pay attention to anything that had to do with racing or Kentucky. My life was in Oregon now, and that was all I cared to focus on.
And I loved it here. This city of roughly fifteen thousand people had an old-time small-town charm to it, and I wondered how it’d taken me twenty-two years to get here. There was no doubt in my mind: I belonged here.
The best part? No one had a clue who I was.
The minute I’d gotten here and checked into a hotel, I’d found a salon, chopped fourteen inches off my hair and dyed my golden locks a rich brown. Even with the fourteen inches gone, my hair still brushed the tops of my shoulders, and with the thick, black-framed glasses I bought at a drugstore, I looked like a new person. And I couldn’t be happier.
“Oh my God, heaven!” Kinlee groaned and hopped onto the counter near the register, “Kace, tell me how you aren’t fat yet?”
I laughed, “Probably the same way you aren’t.”
“You mean you’re having wild-animal sex twenty-four seven? I was wondering why you wouldn’t let us set you up with anyone! You’ve been holding out on me, haven’t you?”
“Oh God, okay definitely not the same way as you. Ew, Kinlee, all I’m going to be able to think about when I see Jace is you two having wild sex.”
“Say that again!”
I froze with my arm inside the pastry case. “Uh, all I’m going—”
“No, no. The last few words.” She leaned close and stared at my mouth as I ran over everything I’d said.
“Having wild sex?”
“
Wald
? For real, where are you from?”
I blew out a heavy breath and shook my head as I smirked at my case. “Just not from here.” I tried to tame my
accent
—that I didn’t know I’d had until I moved here—as much as possible around Kinlee. She and her husband, Jace, were always trying to figure out where I’d moved from, but them finding out meant them wanting to know why I was here at all. And I wasn’t ready for that.
“One of these days, Kace, I will get it out of you.” She took another bite of cupcake and moaned. “This is better than
wald
sex with Jace.”
“Okay, your husband is hot and all, don’t get me wrong, but I really don’t want to be thinking about him like that.”
“Just saying.” She held her hands up. “You were the one that asked.”
“Uh, no. No I didn’t. And back to your original question: I run most mornings. Not all of us can get away with having crazy hot sex to not get fat, especially when we’re not having sex at all.”
She shoved the last bit of cupcake in her mouth and spoke through the bite. “KC, I have been trying to set you up for the last seven months! It’s not my fault you refuse to go on a date with anyone. You’re twenty-three, time to go on a date, woman!”
“Can I remind you that the last guy you tried to set me up with was shorter than me?”
It’s not like I’m an Amazon or anything, I’m five-seven, but I do love heels. Just another reason why I couldn’t stand Charles, he was one inch taller than me so heels were a no go. Of course I wore heels whenever he wasn’t around, but he made me carry flats with me just in case he showed up anywhere I was. There are only so many flats you can wear before you want to find all the flats in the world and burn them.
“I only know so many single men!”
“This barbecue tomorrow, you aren’t going to try . . .” I trailed off when I noticed her looking away. “Kinlee!”
“I didn’t invite them! Swear to God I didn’t invite them this time. The guys on Jace’s shift from the department are all gonna be there, and most of them are single, not my fault.”
Oh Lord, single firemen.
“But it won’t just be the guys from the department, there will be other people, some couples from the neighborhood, all people you’ve met before.”
I nodded and shut the pastry-case doors “All right, well you know I’ll be there, not like I have anything else to do on a Sunday. Want me to bring something?” I don’t know why I even bothered asking anymore, it’s not like I’d show up without something anyway.
“Cookies, cupcakes, whatever you want.” She leaned back and blew an air kiss before jumping off the counter. “Jeez, KC, I know you needed help taste testing and all—what, with your lovely faces you make—but you’ve really got to stop keeping me from opening the store. You’re bad for my hips and business.”
“My faces when I eat sweets are a secret, Lee! Only you know about them!”
With a wink and a saucy smile, she was gone.
Well, she was the only one in Oregon who knew about them. I was teased relentlessly in pastry school for the faces I’d make whenever we tried our dishes, and Barb used to give a big belly laugh every time as well. Charles wouldn’t let me eat sweets in public
because
of those expressions, but he sure seemed to like them when we were alone. I shivered thinking about Charles and was glad that for eight months now I hadn’t had to pretend to not be swallowing back bile every time he kissed or touched me. I took a quick glance at the front of my bakery and smiled to myself before going to the back. For the first time in my life, I was exactly where I wanted to be.
Brody—May 4, 2015
“O
LIVIA!”
What the fuck is all this?
“Hmm?”
“Liv, come here.”
“What?” she snapped when she got into the living room.
I took a deep, calming breath and planted a smile on my face. “What’s all this?”
“It’s called furniture, Brody.” Her eyebrows rose. “You know, you sit on the couches, put drinks on the coffee table, put your feet up on the ottoman . . .”
“Cute, Liv, real cute. Where did it come from?”
“The furniture store,” she said slowly like she was talking to a child.
I huffed and gritted my teeth. “Olivia, where did you get the furniture and how much did it cost?”
“Do you not like it?”
“That’s not what I said, please answer my question.” Oh my God, I could only play this game with her so many times before I snapped. And I only had about another two minutes before I lost my calm tone.
“How could you not like it?” Tears instantly fell to her cheeks and I bit back a groan. “I bought them for you, it was only seven grand.”
Seven—
seven
grand.
Only
seven grand. “Olivia, where did you get seven grand?”
Please God, please say from your father.
She sniffed and swiped at her eyes. “You just had five thousand sitting in the savings account, I had to do something with it!”
“Olivia! Are you—are you—damn it! You pulled this shit
again
?”
Her tears kept falling but she stopped sniffling. “How dare you! I did this for you!”
“Every time, Liv, every time I start saving money you go and blow it on something we don’t need! And now this time you spent an extra two thousand? I have to pay the mortgage in a week.”
“It was a gift, you could at least say thank you! Every time I buy something you get upset, at least I’m
giving
you something, all you’ve ever done is
take
from me.”
With that, she turned and stormed down the hall to her bedroom, leaving me crushed, aching, and once again so damn tired of this. I rubbed my chest where the constant dull ache was now stabbing and fell into one of the kitchen table chairs.
Not more than ten minutes later she was back and bouncing through the kitchen. “Hey, babe! What do you want for dinner?”
I wasn’t even surprised by this anymore; I’d just been waiting until she came back. “It’s after midnight, Liv, I’m not really hungry.”
“Did you already eat dinner? I’ll heat some of this up,” she murmured the last part to herself as she continued to pull take-out boxes out of the fridge.
“Yeah, earlier tonight.”
“Oh.” She slammed the fridge door shut and turned to look at me. “All right, I get it. I can’t have kids so I’m not good enough to heat up food for you. Yeah, fine, Brody. Feed your damn self.”
And here she goes again.
My wife hadn’t always been like this—and despite how it seems, she’s not crazy—and our relationship hadn’t been like this either. We’d been high-school sweethearts, and then I’d left for the army right after we graduated, and everything changed. I came back home to visit after a deployment, and though we had stayed together, Liv and I weren’t close anymore. I knew why she’d stayed with me, but I hadn’t cared either way: She was someone to come back to when I visited my family.
Her parents hated me, and they let me know it every time they saw me. I wasn’t good enough for their daughter because I wasn’t going to college and didn’t come from money like they had. My family wasn’t poor by any means; we’d grown up in a great house in a great neighborhood. But we weren’t dripping with money and we didn’t belong to the country club that Liv’s parents did. So apparently that meant we were trash. Olivia loved that her parents didn’t accept me, and I knew that was the only reason we’d stayed together as long as we had. But like I said, I didn’t mind.
I had had a year left in the army when my world changed. She’d called me crying, saying she was pregnant. I’d requested emergency leave as soon as we got off the phone and married her the minute I got home. Her parents were furious—hell, so were mine—but no way in hell was I going to let her go through that alone. I couldn’t take care of her like her parents did, but I’d take care of them the best I could.
It took a lot of people high up pulling strings, but I’d been able to get us a house on base for as soon as I had to get back. Only thing was, she’d refused to go to base with me. Basically said thanks for marrying her and she was going to stay with her parents until I decided I was done “playing navy.” Shit you not. And I wasn’t even in the navy.
I couldn’t get leave often, but even when I did, she still didn’t see me. Didn’t even try. When I asked her, she’d said, “What’s the point? We’re already married.”
Yeah. Married and I haven’t seen you since two days after the fact.
The only thing she had included me in was the baby. After every appointment she’d sent pictures of the ultrasound, and she’d let me help her pick out a name. I’d gotten the message the minute she went into labor, and received more pictures after he was delivered. The next time I got leave, she’d still refused to see me and wouldn’t let me see our son. Instead, I’d stood outside her parents’ house and called her only to find out that if I wanted to see either of them, I wouldn’t re-enlist and I’d move back to Jeston.
So that’s what I did: When it came time to re-enlist, I declined and moved back. Bought us a house, it wasn’t much and her dad let me know that all the time, but I’d bought it and that’s all that mattered. Once I had it furnished, I called her and she finally let me meet my son for the first time.
“Brody!” Olivia snapped, and I blinked away the memory of best day of my life. She held up her hand momentarily to show she was on the phone before continuing. “Daddy said he’d pay you back for the couches, since obviously with your pay you can’t afford what I need to be happy.”
My eyes narrowed. It was almost twelve thirty in the morning, and she was calling her dad to talk to him about the damn couches? I rubbed the sharp pain in my chest and pushed away from the table before standing up. “He can keep his money, I don’t want it. Good night, Olivia.”
“B
ABY, ARE Y
OU
awake?”
I sat up in my bed less than an hour later and rubbed a hand over my face. “Uh, yeah. What’s up, Liv?”
“I’m so sorry!” She burst into tears and crumpled to the floor.
Aw hell.
I hopped out of my bed and went over to her. Sliding down until I was sitting up against the wall, I pulled her onto my lap. “It’s okay, you just have to stop spending our money like that.”
“B-but the c-couch we had w-was three years old!”
“I know, and it was still a perfectly good couch,” I crooned softly. “Just because your parents can refurnish their entire house every few years, doesn’t mean we can, all right?”
She nodded vigorously. “I just—I just needed something to do.”
I took a deep breath in and scrunched my face together as I prepared for what might happen next. I knew this could turn out bad again, but I had to try. “Maybe we should get a dog.”
“A dog? A damn
dog
? No! You can’t just give me a dog and make it all better, Brody!” She scrambled off my lap and sprinted down the hall, heading for her side of the house.