Capturing the Single Dad’s Heart (7 page)

Worse still, she was really attracted to the man Nate was outside work. The one who could admit his vulnerabilities and shortcomings, but who tried so hard to make it right rather than making everyone else fit round him. It was frighteningly easy to imagine herself with him.

But they were doing this for Caitlin's sake. She couldn't afford to start anything with Nate. If it went wrong—
when
, she amended, because she hadn't made a relationship really work since Andrew—there would be way too much collateral damage. She'd simply have to keep reminding herself that they were friends. Just friends. And she couldn't offer him anything more.

CHAPTER FIVE

O
N
M
ONDAY
, N
ATE
 
caught Erin in the staff room at lunchtime. ‘Do you have time for a quick update?'

‘Over a sandwich in the canteen? Sure.' She smiled at him.

‘So how's Judy Watson doing?' he asked when they were settled in the canteen.

‘She's starting to feel a bit better, though she's not on her feet yet. I've arranged physio, and spoken to some people from the support group—they're coming to see her this week,' Erin said. ‘And James is still reassuring her that they won't split up over her illness.'

‘That's good to know.'

‘So how's Kevin Bishop doing? Did the spinal spacer work in the way you hoped?'

‘Yes—he's walking again, out of pain and full of smiles. Though I've warned him that playing football with his kids has to wait until the physio gives him the go-ahead.'

‘You can't blame the poor guy for being impatient, though,' Erin said. ‘He's been in pain for so long—and now he can actually move again, of course he'll want to run before he can walk. Anyone would.'

‘I guess.' He paused. ‘Things are quite a bit better with Caitlin, thanks to you. She showed me her sketchpad yesterday. And it turns out that she really likes my mum's cat, Sooty. It never occurred to me she'd like animals—Steph always refused to have a pet because they caused too much mess, and I guess when Caitlin stayed with me in London we tended to stay at my place, so my mum visited us and Cait never saw the cat. She's drawn a few pictures of the cat—and they're good.' He smiled. ‘And I had a word with her school, this morning. She won't be choosing her exam courses until next year, but apparently there's a gardening club and the head of the science department is going to have a chat with her today.'

‘That's great,' Erin said, meaning it.

‘It's still early days,' he said, ‘but I actually feel there's a light at the end of the tunnel and we've got a chance of making it work.' He looked her straight in the eye. ‘And it's all thanks to you.'

‘Hardly. You're the one actually
making
it work. I'm just helping to facilitate things,' Erin protested.

‘If you hadn't hit on gardens as her favourite thing, I don't know if she would ever have started to open up to me,' Nate pointed out. ‘I was really sinking, Erin.'

‘It was a lucky break, and you might've got there on your own.'

‘Seriously. You've made a real difference,' he said quietly, ‘and I appreciate it.'

‘Any time. She's a nice kid.' Much nicer than Erin herself had been. ‘I had a word with Ed, the garden designer. He's here on Thursday. If Caitlin wants to drop in after school, he can talk her through what we're doing here.'

‘I'll check with her.' He gave her a wry smile. ‘Considering that you and I fell out over that same garden, it's pretty ironic that it's made such a big change to my life.'

‘Hey. You've come round to my way of thinking because you know now that I'm right,' she teased. ‘Actually, Caitlin's texted me a couple of times. Obviously I'm not going to betray any of her confidences and I'm certainly not going to discuss her with you, but she seems to be settling in a bit more.'

‘I wish I'd been a better dad to her in the past instead of focusing on my work. If I could do things differently, I would,' he said, his face sombre. ‘I wish I could go back and change things.'

So would I, she thought.
So would I.
‘You can't change the past, Nate,' she said instead. ‘You can only learn from it. And you did what you thought was best at the time.'

‘I guess.' He lifted his mug to her in a toast. ‘To you. Because you've made a massive difference, whether you admit it or not.'

‘And to you. Because you're the one making the effort.'

* * *

Early on Tuesday afternoon, Nate was called down to the Emergency Department to see a patient who'd crashed while driving without wearing a seatbelt, and had been thrown seventy metres from his car.

‘I can't believe the guy could even move his arms and legs after a crash like that,' Doug, the lead paramedic, told Nate. ‘He didn't show any signs of serious spinal injury, but given what had happened to him we were very careful when we moved him and we put him on a long spinal board.'

‘Good call,' Nate said.

‘I sent him for an X-ray and it's unbelievable,' Joe Norton said. ‘He's got a broken shoulder and ribs, and punctured a lung. But just look at this. I've never seen anything like this before.'

Nate stared at the picture on the computer, stunned. ‘I don't think I've ever seen a fracture dislocation as severe as this. Usually a patient who presents like this is paralysed. And you're telling me that this guy can actually move his arms and legs, Doug?'

‘Yes. We've assessed him and he can move all his different muscle groups. His sensation is all intact, too. We're all wondering if he's a secret superhero,' Doug said with a grin. ‘I've never seen anything like this in twenty years as a paramedic.'

‘He'd better hope that I'm in superhero mode in Theatre,' Nate said. ‘I can fix the fracture and realign his spine, but the operation's really high risk and there's a chance that it could cause further neurological injury. If any damage occurs to his spinal nerves during the operation, we're looking at paralysis.' And the patient would definitely be a candidate for Erin's garden. ‘Is he up to talking?'

‘Yes.' Joe took him over to Barney Mason and introduced him swiftly. ‘Barney, this is Nate Townsend, our spinal surgeon consultant. He's the guy who's going to fix your back.'

‘You can really fix me? So I'm going to be able to walk again?' Barney asked.

‘Right now, we're all amazed you've got any movement at all,' Nate said, showing Barney the X-ray. ‘You've fractured your spine and it's dislocated as well, so it's a bit on the complicated side.'

‘Can you fix it?'

Nate nodded. ‘I'm going to send you for some MRI scans—that just gives me a little bit more detail than the X-rays do—and then we'll take you up to Theatre. But I do need to warn you that your spine is in a serious condition right now, and the operation carries a high risk that you could end up paralysed.'

‘But if I move at all while my back's like this, I'll be paralysed anyway,' Barney said. ‘Is that right?'

‘Yes.'

‘As it is, I'm lucky I'm still alive. The way I see it, I have nothing to lose. Go for it,' Barney said. ‘Do whatever you have to do.'

‘Can we get in touch with anyone for you so they're here when you wake up?' Nate asked.

Barney grimaced. ‘Right now, I can't face the idea of all the nagging.'

‘Nagging?' Nate asked, not understanding.

‘What idiot drives a car without wearing a seatbelt?' Barney asked. ‘I'll never hear the end of it.'

‘What happened?' Nate asked.

‘I was in a rush to get to a meeting. I was having a screaming row with my girlfriend on the phone at the same time because I had to cancel our date for tonight, so I didn't hear the car beep at me to put my seatbelt on. And then...' He blew out a breath. ‘I know I'm lucky to be alive,' he said again, ‘let alone in almost one piece. I can't believe I'm even here. I thought I was going to die when I went through the windscreen.'

‘I could ring your girlfriend or your mum for you,' Nate suggested. ‘And I can tell them as your surgeon that you need calm, peace and quiet to help you recuperate.'

‘I guess. But no tears. Please. I hate tears.'

Nate was sure that half of this was bravado and Barney Mason was completely terrified at the idea of becoming paralysed, but he squeezed Barney's hand. ‘Got it. Now, I'll need you under a general anaesthetic during the op, and the op's going to last for a few hours.'

‘Hours?' Barney looked shocked.

‘Hours,' Nate repeated, ‘because as well as repairing the damage we'll put a special monitoring system in place to make sure we minimise the risk of causing any damage to your spinal cord while we're fixing you. What I'm going to do is put screws above and below the fracture to act as a kind of scaffold, realign your spine, and then insert rods and a titanium cage so you have a strong structure.'

‘So I'm going to have a metal spine, then?'

‘In part, yes. The cage and rods will be there permanently. I also need to tell you that you're looking at a few weeks to recover from the op, you'll need to wear a supportive brace around your midriff for three months afterwards, and you'll need a lot of physio to help you get back on your feet. Overall I'd say it'll take about six months to get you back to normal.'

‘Six months?' Barney blew out a breath. ‘I know I should be grateful I'm not dead, but that sounds like weeks of being stuck staring at the same four walls.'

Nate had heard that before. But now, thanks to Erin, he had an answer for it. ‘Not necessarily. There are rehab places where you can go out in the garden and even do some work out there. Yes, you'll be in a wheelchair for at least some of the time, and you're going to have to learn to pace yourself. And you need to do whatever the physio team tells you, or you'll set your progress back and it'll take even longer before you're completely back on your feet.'

‘I'm not so good with orders,' Barney said.

‘It's your call,' Nate said. ‘I guess it depends how quickly you want to get mobile again.'

‘Yesterday?' Barney asked hopefully.

Nate smiled. ‘I'm pretty good at what I do, but I'm afraid that one's beyond even me. It'll take as long as it takes, and I know how frustrating it is for you that I can't give you a definite answer, but no two people heal in quite the same way.'

While Barney was being prepped for Theatre, Nate organised his team of specialists and ran through exactly what he wanted to do, then called Barney's girlfriend and his mother to fill them in on the situation and explain that Barney was going to be tired and groggy after the op and would need quiet support, but Nate himself would be there to answer any questions they might have. He called his own mother to warn her that he was going to be in Theatre for a complicated op so he'd be late picking up Caitlin, but he'd call as soon as he was about to leave the hospital.

Finally he scrubbed up, ready for the operation.

‘I know the monitoring system's a bit unusual—it's what we'd usually use for scoliosis cases—but we need to make sure there isn't any damage to the spinal cord during the op,' he told his team. ‘So I want monitors on his brain, electrodes on his spinal cord, and we stimulate the muscles of his foot at regular intervals so we can measure his response and see if anything's affecting his spinal cord—if it is, then we stop and think about how to tweak whatever we're doing. Everyone OK with that?'

‘Sure,' they chorused. ‘You're the boss.'

‘I'm just the one with the scalpel. This is a team effort, and everyone plays an important role,' he reminded them.

The monitoring system worked perfectly, to Nate's relief, leaving him to work quietly and methodically to realign Barney's spine and repair the damage. He inserted the screws, rods and titanium cage.

‘Thanks, everyone,' he said when he'd finished the last suture to close the incision site. ‘You were all great. Between us, we've given this guy a fighting chance to get back on his feet.' They'd made a real difference to Barney's life. Which was exactly what Nate had trained for; but had the price been too high? Or would he get a chance to fix his relationship with his daughter, the way he'd just fixed a complicated dislocated spinal fracture?

The operation had taken time and patience, which was also what Erin had counselled for fixing things with Caitlin. So maybe the situation with his daughter would work out, too.

And he wasn't going to let himself think too closely about his growing feelings for Erin. He couldn't have it all. He needed to be grateful for what he did have instead of wishing for more.

* * *

On Thursday morning, just before ward rounds, Nate took Erin to one side. ‘Have a look at this.'

She looked at Barney Mason's X-ray and blinked. ‘Ouch—that's really nasty. A fracture
and
a dislocation. I don't think I've seen anything as bad as that before.'

‘It's probably the worst one I've seen, too,' Nate admitted.

‘Is he going to be OK?' Erin asked.

‘Come and see him and tell me what you think.'

She blinked. ‘You mean you've already fixed that?'

‘With screws, rods and a titanium cage,' he said. ‘Actually, it's a shame you were off duty on Tuesday afternoon or I would've asked you to be on the neuro-physiological team in Theatre. But actually that's not why I want you to see him. I want you to talk to him about rehab places.'

‘Oh.' She grinned as the penny dropped. ‘Would that involve sensory gardens, by any chance?'

He rolled his eyes. ‘Yes, Dr Leyton. And, yes, I admit that you were right about all the garden stuff. I've been reading up about it, too, and it surprises me how much difference it does make.'

‘Excellent.' She punched his arm. ‘I'm glad you're finally admitting it. By the way, speaking of gardens, is Caitlin still OK to meet Ed after school in our garden today?'

He nodded. ‘Though I'm in Theatre, so if there are any complications when I'm operating I might not be able to make it.'

‘That's not a problem. I'll be there to introduce them to each other anyway, and I can always stay a bit longer if you need me to.'

‘Are you sure?'