Cara's Twelve (33 page)

Cara's heart lurched in her throat as she stared at the ghost in front of her.

“Tahdaon.”

Tahdaon dismounted in a single swift movement and demanded, “Why aren't you in Muir?”

Taking a deep breath to steady her emotions, Cara looked down at him and whispered, “I thought you were dead.”

Tahdaon snarled, “Well, I'm not, and that still doesn't answer my question.”

He was covered in blood and grime, his hair slick with sweat, but he was alive, unharmed, and currently glaring daggers at her.

Cara trembled as he placed his hands around her waist and lifted her from her horse. He let his gaze fall briefly over her flat stomach and saw him wince.

A tic started in his jaw as he continued to look down at her, but Cara couldn't decipher what he was thinking, and at the moment she didn't care. All she cared about was that he was with her and unharmed.

She placed her hand on his cheek and tried to still her racing heart. Tears swelled in her eyes, and her voice hitched in her throat as she whispered, “You're alive.”

Tahdaon blew out an elongated breath and his features softened marginally. “Why would you think otherwise?”

“We all did,” Finn said sternly, still mounted on top of his steed, his expression unreadable as he regarded Tahdaon. “Osker was told that you were captured after assassinating Ballack and the Queen. We had no reason to believe otherwise when we didn't hear from you.”

Tahdaon cursed, his eyes darkening again. “I sent one of my men with a message for Osker, informing him of my mission. The man must have been captured before leaving Hellstrom.”

Cara took a step backwards and squinted up at him, her initial joy turning to confusion.

“If Edmund didn't capture you, and you weren't with Osker, then where have you been all this time?”

“I was in Northlew,” Tahdaon said evenly, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Northlew,” Cara repeated, unable to hide the shock and hurt in her voice.

He had been alive and free the entire time, and yet, once again he had left her, knowing that she was carrying his child. Knowing how much she needed him, how worried she would be when he didn't return.

Tahdaon took a step towards her and she immediately stepped back, holding her hands up to stop him.

He lowered his chin, his eyebrows drawing down in a frown. “I went to check on their army, to speak with Hauk and make sure his men were still allied with us.”

Anger consumed her, and she had to clench her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. “That was months ago. You didn't think to send word that you were all right? You didn't think of letting me know that you were alive?”

“As I said, I did send word, but something must have happened to the man,” he said sharply.

Cara shook her head, and a hysterical laugh escaped her lips. “You're unbelievable. Do you have any idea what I've gone through, thinking that Edmund had gotten his claws on you? Do you even care that——”

“Are you really that much of a fool,” Tahdaon bellowed. “If I hadn't done what I did the Northlew and Drumlish armies would never have arrived on time. I wasn't about to sit by and let Edmund slaughter my people. You were safe in Muir. Why the hell didn't you stay there?”

His fury shattered her. What right did he have to be angry with her?

Her entire body shook with outrage as she finally accepted the truth of who he was. Cold, calculating, and selfish. She was nothing more to him than a means to an end. He was right, she was a fool, a fool to believe that he had a heart beneath his icy exterior.

“I'm sorry that my presence offends you,” she said, her voice soft and full of malice.

“That's not what I meant.”

Straightening her shoulders, she hardened herself towards him. Hating him made what she had to do that much easier. “Go. Be with your men. I release you from your obligation as my consort. You are no longer charged with my care.”

Pain flared in his eyes. He grabbed her arm as she turned to walk away.

“Cara.” His voice broke. “You don't understand——”

Cara smiled bitterly. “I understand completely. I understand that you care for one thing. Revenge. It's been your life's mission, and now that you've got it, how does it feel? Did it fill all those empty spots inside of you? Did it fix the broken pieces of your heart that made it impossible for you to love anything or anyone? Tell me Tahdaon, was it everything you dreamed of?”

He released her arm and let his hand drop to his side. His face stoic and ashen.

“No,” he said simply. “It wasn't.”

Cara snorted and turned away quickly so that he wouldn't see the tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks.

“More riders advance,” Finn said, watching her warily as he helped her remount.

Cara looked up as the three men reached the top of the hill. She let out an elongated sigh of relief when she recognized the war-stained warriors.

Despite being covered in filth, and exhausted from battle, Helfrich, Hauk and Efy appeared to have come out of the battle unscathed.

“It's good to see you all,” Cara said, giving each of the men what she hoped was a convincing smile, but despite the happy reunion, was still shaken.

She spoke to each of the men briefly, but there was little time for idle talk. The sun was beginning to set and the leaders of each army were waiting for her word.

“Where is Osker now?” Cara asked.

“Last I saw, he was scouring through the dead and injured among the Hellstrom and Bere Alstern army.”

“Looking for Edmund?” Cara asked, knowing that Edmund would never have fought alongside his men.

“He isn't believed to be among them,” Efy said, fidgeting on top of his horse.

“They may still find him,” Helfrich said gently.

Cara shook her head, “Doubtful.”

“Either way,” Finn said, “His army has been slaughtered. He's lost everything. There's nothing he can do now to harm you.”

Cara didn't argue, but she knew better than to assume that Edmund would be content with failure. He would lie low for a time, lick his wounds, but until he was captured he was still a threat.

Looking out across the carnage that littered the Tor of Blood, Cara pitched her voice and spoke with authority. “It's important that we move quickly. The country has been in chaos for too long. In front of the men who fought for me, I will be crowned queen. The coronation must take place before the armies return home.”

“Even if we can convince the men to travel, the city of Annul has been decimated,” Efy said weakly. “Where do you plan on holding the ceremony?”

“Knowl,” Cara said simply.

“Ballack's capital?” Hauk said, failing to hide his exasperation and displeasure. “Do you think that's wise?”

Cara shrugged. “Do we have any other choice? Drumna's resources are almost depleted, and we can't ask Osker to feed all these men.”

Helfrich's eyes lit up, and Cara knew he understood what she intended to do. “Ballack's treasury is overflowing. If we take the city, that treasure returns to the crown. The city could hold as a substitute until the Holy City is restored.”

“It's large enough,” Finn said, rubbing his jaw. “It could work.”

“Efy,” Cara ordered, “Go and tell Osker that we march towards Knowl immediately. Hauk and Helfrich inform your men as well. Finn and I will ride ahead and begin preparations.”

“You'll need a handful of men to go with you,” Hauk insisted. “I can send my best riders with you.”

Cara tilted her head in appreciation.

When the men had ridden off with their directives, Tahdaon cleared his throat and asked, “What do you want me to do?”

The look in his eyes almost made her forget what he had done, and for a second she faltered.

Hardening herself she made her expression cold. “I am no longer your concern Tahdaon. Go be with your people.”

He flinched at the hatred in her tone, and when he spoke his voice was thick with emotion. “Cara, please——”

She held up her hand to silence him. She couldn't let him get under her skin. Not again. Never again.

Finn rode up beside her, his expression one of concern as he looked between her and Tahdaon. “You're sure you want to do this?”

She couldn't question her decision, not now. It was too late.

Looking back at where he stood, Cara tilted her chin and looked down her nose at him. He stared up at her, his blue eyes pleading.

“Goodbye Tahdaon,” she whispered as she turned and rode south towards Knowl, not bothering to brush away the tears that flowed freely down her cheeks.

* * *

Tahdaon paced the halls of Knowl. He had been there for well over two weeks, and despite his multiple attempts to talk to Cara, she continued to refuse him.

During her coronation ceremony she had allowed him to stand with her, amongst the other remaining Twelve, but he knew she had done it only to appease the Dalglieshans in attendance.

“You have to let me see her,” he had pleaded with Finn, who had merely shaken his head and given him a look of sympathy.

“Give her time,” Finn had said, as he closed the door in Tahdaon's face.

“I don't have time,” Tahdaon growled under his breath, punching the stone wall with his fist until his knuckles bled.

She had called for an assemblage of all the provincial leaders and influential families to be held that evening. He had heard rumors that she would be assigning council seats, as well as issuing a new ordinance among the provinces.

He had caught Helfrich as he left her newly appointed study the day before, and the look of unease and remorse in the man's eyes had told him that whatever Cara had in store for him wasn't good.

He had to get to her before she did something that she couldn't take back. Her words to him on the Tor of Blood still haunted him, but they were just words. By law he was still her consort, a member of the Twelve, but tonight's delegation could make it official if she chose so.

Leaning against the wall he cradled his injured hand to his chest, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the agony he felt when he saw her on top of the hill, her stomach as smooth as the day he had left Muir. It had taken everything in him not to roar in pain as he realized that the child she had carried had been lost.

Why couldn't she see that everything he did was for her? For her future and for the future of the unborn child. A child that was lost to him forever.

He had done what he had to do, and yet she acted as if
he
was the enemy.

When he left Muir he knew what he was giving up, and knew that it would be easier for her to let go of him when she had to, but he had never expected her to hate him or to dismiss him as if there had never been anything between them.

He knew it was selfish, but he needed one more chance to speak with her, one chance to tell her everything. If she wanted him gone after that then he would walk away, but he couldn't leave without her knowing the truth.

He loved her.

He always would.

* * *

It had been nearly two years since she had stood on the altar of Annul and dedicated her life to the goddess and to the people of Elbia. Two years since twelve men kneeled before her and committed their lives and swords to protect her. Of those twelve, only five stood beside her now, and only four would leave with her.

Cara raised her hand to silence the room. Taking a deep breath, she studied the faces that looked back at her.

She closed her eyes and focused on the warmth that bubbled inside her, the same strange energy that some believed was the hand of Annul resting on her. For the first time in her life she didn't resist and allowed it to consume her.

She heard a murmur of awe rush through the room.

Opening her eyes she stared out at the crowd with a confidence she hadn't had before.

“I have asked you here tonight, because Elbia has been shaken by a great darkness. I have heard rumors that some believe that our great country has been crushed beyond repair, that its best days are in the past.

I stand here as your anointed Queen, daughter of the great Annul, and tell you that those rumors are false. The days of tyranny and oppression are behind us. Now is the time to rebuild, to reaffirm our faith, and move forward towards a better future.

The capital city has been destroyed, along with temple of Annul, but these are just stone works, buildings that would have crumbled and fallen in time. They are not what define us as a people. It is the heart of Annul that beats inside each one of us that makes us who we are.

There will be many changes in the days and years ahead, and some of these changes will be difficult for people to accept.”

There were a few whispers of dissent. Change was never easy, but in times of rebuilding it was essential.

Raising her hand, she touched the gem encrusted crown she wore, and continued, “A queen does not rule alone. The royal council was established as a means to give voice to each of the provinces. We will reinstate a new council immediately.

As in the past, I will allow each province to vote on their elected council member. The only provinces exempt from having a seat on the council will be Hellstrom, which has been forfeited to the crown, along with the province of Dalgliesh.”

The room erupted and Cara saw Osker's brows turn down in confusion.

Ignoring protocol, Tahdaon's hand closed over her wrist. He whispered harshly in her ear, “Whatever it is you have against me, don't take it out on my people. You would never have won this war if it weren't for them.”

Cara jerked her hand away and gave him a scathing look. “Do you think I'm that cruel?”

“Enough!” It was Osker that broke through the tension, his voice pitched to carry. He looked at her then, his eyes searching. “Let the Queen continue.”

Shaken by Tahdaon's angry outburst she hesitated before she spoke. “Among all of the provinces of Elbia, I owe Lord Osker and the people of Dalgliesh my most heartfelt appreciation. Without their sacrifice I would not be standing here today.”

Her hands were trembling again. Gone was the confidence she had only moments before. Now all she could think of was the look of torment in Tahdaon's eyes when he thought she had turned against his people.

“Cara?” Helfrich whispered, nodding for her to continue.