53
Renee
Three days later, I couldn't stop watching the clock. Another hour and I could finally call for my results.
I dropped down on the floor beside my bed and said one final prayer. “Lord, please forgive me for my wicked ways. I promise if You give me a second chance I'll make You proud.” I choked back tears in my throat. “Lisa, please talk to Him for me.” The last half hour I'd worried myself so sick that I had to throw up. I've been doing that a lot lately.
The results meant the start or end of my life. I was losing my mind, and the sooner it was over the better.
“I'm not about to let this condition dictate the future of my life. It's what I have, not who I am.”
At two, I finally reached for the phone and was shaking so bad it took three tries before I was able to dial the correct number. When she answered, I gave her my PIN number and waited while she went to retrieve my file. I said one final prayer and had just finished when she got back on the line.
“Ms. Moore?”
“Yes?” I croaked.
“Your results were negative.”
Negative
. “Oh God! Thank You!” I didn't hear anything else after that.
I finally had my life back again. I dropped to my knees and cried tears of joy. “Thank You, Lord. Thank You.”
I sat there for the longest time, feeling so good. Thinking about all the years I put my life in someone else's hands and how stupid I had been.
Never again.
This was the start of a new beginning for me.
I am going to stand by my word and start making smart choices.
I'll admit I love Kenny. He's a sweet, considerate man, but I know that he is not the man for me. All that sneaking around with someone else's man is for the birds. Reese can have his skinny ass. I'll be damned if I'm getting up in the middle of the night to make his ass some Kool-Aid or even rub his damn back and stroke his receding hairline. No, that shit would start to get on my damn nerves after a while. I care about him, but now that my eyes are wide open, I know for a fact I don't need a man to be happy. All those days of being in love with the idea of being in loveâthey are behind me. I have so many possibilities. Happiness is what we make it, and I was already planning some private
me
time. I need to learn to be happy with myself before I can be happy sharing my life with someone else.
Rolling onto my back, I folded my arms behind my head and stared up at the ceiling. Everything was going to be okay.
The phone rang and I was tempted to ignore it and just continue to enjoy the moment, but whoever was calling was persistent because they called right back. I reached over and dug for my cell phone at the bottom of my purse and saw it was Danielle.
“Girl, get your ass to the hospital. Portia's in labor.”
I almost had two accidents trying to get to the hospital. Why is it whenever you're in a rush everybody wants to take their sweet-ass time? I had road rage. I yelled “Get the fuck out the way!” out the window so many times I was surprised I didn't burst a blood vessel. The hospital wasn't any better. I circled around the parking lot three times before someone in a Nissan Altima pulled out.
I raced through the hospital and waited impatiently for the elevator, which finally arrived, and this familiar-looking woman rode up with me. It wasn't until we got to the seventh floor that I realized the woman was the same lady that I got into it with at Tamara's school. I looked up and caught her staring at me from the tops of her eyes.
“Can I help you with something?”
She had the nerve to look around like she had no idea who I was talking to. “Nope.”
“Then quit looking at me. I know I look good.” I got off the elevator and swayed my ass down the hall like I was the shit. Hell, I had a lot to feel good about.
I turned at the corner and was surprised to see Calvin.
“What are you doing here?”
He gave me a small smile. “My mom is in the hospital.”
“Is she okay?”
He nodded. “She fell and fractured her hip, but I think she's going to survive.”
“Good.” I touched his arm, trying to offer some comfort.
“What are you doing here?”
“Portia's in labor.”
His eyes grew round with excitement. “Danielle here?”
He still had it bad for my girl. “Yep. Why don't you come down and say hi?”
He was a little reluctant, so I took his hand and led the way. We passed that crazy-ass woman. She was standing at the end of the hall watching. Calvin noticed her also and shook his head.
“You know her?”
He looked uncomfortable. “Yeah, you can say that. Her name is Regina Tolliver. She's the administrative assistant in my department. I made the mistake of dating her.”
“What? You must have been desperate.”
“Nah. She is a really nice woman, just a little clingy. Our second date she wanted me to see the wedding dress she planned to wear.”
“Hell nah!” I was still laughing as we went down to Labor and Delivery. The nurse at the station said Portia was in room 712. Calvin decided to hang out in the waiting room. I stepped into the room and Danny's mom Victoria was there, and Danny. Portia was in the bed breathing through a contraction. As soon as it eased, I went over and wiped the sweat from her brow.
“I hear someone is about to be a mother?”
She gave me a weak grin and closed her eyes. I moved and hugged Victoria, who had always been like a mother to me.
“I'm going to get a soda. Try to help Danielle relax.” She grabbed her purse and moved down the hall.
Danielle did look like she was about to pull her hair out. You would think after working as a labor and delivery nurse for years, she would be used to this shit.
“Girl, go smoke a joint or something.”
I managed to get a laugh out of her. “This shit is crazy. My baby is having a baby.”
“I know.” The monitor read she was about to have another contraction. The two of us helped her breathe through it, then Portia closed her eyes again.
“Where's her baby's daddy?”
“He went to a basketball tournament. I just got in touch with his mother, and she is driving down to Springfield to get him.”
Good. I think every man should see what women go through bringing a child into the world.
Danielle was pacing nervously around the room. “How long is it gonna take before the anesthesiologist gets here?”
“What she getting, an epidural?”
“Yep, and the rate they're going, it will be too late by the time they get here.”
“Why don't you go check and on your way back stop by the waiting room? Someone's here to see you.”
Danielle's brow rose. “Who?”
“Calvin.”
I saw the way her eyes grew round with excitement before she left the room. I don't care what that girl says, she wants Calvin back. Now she just needs to get rid of that psycho.
54
Danielle
After one of the nurses assured me that someone was on their way up to ease my daughter's pain, I walked down to the waiting room and found Calvin sitting and watching television.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey, yourself.” He rose and walked over to me and I found myself meeting him halfway.
It had been three months since I had last seen him, and I couldn't stop looking at him. He looked so good. “What are you doing here?”
“My mom is in the hospital.”
While he told me what was going on I couldn't take my eyes off him. Why did I ever let him go?
“Doctor thinks she'll be home before the weekend.”
I nodded. “Good. Make sure you tell her I said hello.”
“I will.” I'd had dinner with his parents once and adored the couple.
We just stood there staring and grinning at each other.
“Ready to be a grandmother?” he teased.
“Don't have much of a choice, now do I?”
“No, but hopefully this means you and Portia have put aside your differences.”
“I think we have.”
“Good.” He took my hand in his. I took a step closer, just wanting to be near him.
“Well, I better go because I'm working the night shift this week and need to get some rest. I'll drop by tomorrow and check on Portia.”
“She would like that.”
And so would I.
I watched him leave and knew then I was going to do whatever it took to get Calvin back.
As I walked back to the room, I looked down at my cell phone, which I had put on vibrate, and noticed that I had five missed calls. All of them were from Chance. Psycho. I knew I better call him back or he'd never stop.
“Why the fuck you haven't been answering your phone?”
“Because I'm at the hospital with Portia. She's in labor.”
“I hope you ain't with some other nigga.”
I rolled my eyes. Did he not hear what I said? “I just said my daughter was in labor.”
“You must think I'm stupid. You and your daughter don't even speak to each other.”
“I had a change of heart. She is my daughter.”
“And I'm your man and I need you to quit playing games.”
He is crazy. I put an ex parte on him yet he still thinks he's my man. I don't know why I never noticed before how selfish Chance was. All he cared about was himself. “Chance, my daughter needs me. You and I are over.”
“Oh, so it's like that?”
“Yeah, it's like that. Leave me the hell alone, otherwise I'm going to have my brother pay you a visit.”
That time, he actually hung up on me.
Portia's labor was long. She had finally gotten her epidural but it seemed to slow down her delivery. By midnight I sent Mama home after I promised to call her the moment her great-granddaughter was born. Portia had dilated seven centimeters by the time Demetrius got there. He and his mother and Renee and I took turns helping Portia breathe, and finally at four a.m. Etienne Charice Carlson was born, all six pounds and twelve ounces.
I couldn't stop looking at my granddaughter. She was so beautiful to me with a head full of curly hair. She looked like Portia.
“Congratulations, Grandma, I'm going home to bed.” Renee gave me a big hug, went over and kissed Portia, and exited the room.
While Demetrius and his mother stood and watched the nurses take the baby's vital signs, I moved over to Portia and stroked her forehead.
“How's my baby?” she whispered.
“Fine.”
“What's she look like?”
Leaning down, I kissed her forehead. “She's beautiful, just like you. I'm so proud of you.”
She started crying. “Mama, I'm so glad you're no longer mad at me.”
“That's in the past, baby. It's time for us to move on and raise that little girl together.”
“I love you, Mama.”
“I love you, too.” Tears were now running down my face, but they were tears of joy.
It was after eight when I got home. I immediately climbed under the covers and was just dozing off when the phone started ringing. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know it was Chance.
“Quit calling me!”
“Ms. Danielle Brooks?” I heard a woman say just as I was about to slam the phone down.
“Yes, who's calling?”
“This is Dr. Teresa Weber at the health department.”
I was suddenly wide awake. “What can I do for you?”
“I need for you to come in and talk to us.”
“About what?” My heart started pounding heavily.
There was a slight hesitation, but it was just enough to make me drop to the floor.
“I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news . . . but you tested positive for HIV.”
55
Danielle
My heart literally stopped beating. There was no way in hell she said what I thought she said.
“Excuse me?”
“I'm so sorry, Ms. Brooks.”
“You've got my results confused with someone else, because there is no way I was HIV positive.”
“I'd really like to start you on a medication regime right away. When can you come in?”
“Did I stutter? I said I am not HIV positive!”
“I can understand your frustration.”
Oh, so now she wants to patronize me. “No,
you
can't understand. There is some kind of mistake.” Yeah, that's it. “You got my lab confused with someone else's.” Yep, it happens all the time.
“No. It was your specimen. We've already retested it, but we'd be more than happy to do it again. If you would like to come back inâ”
“Damn right I will, because I just got tested last year and my results were fine. As soon as I get my results back I'm suing y'all mothafuckas.” I slammed the phone down. This wasn't happening. I was breathing so hard I was hyperventilating.
This can't be happening. In fact, I know it isn't. My daughter will be coming home tomorrow with my grandbaby and we're going to start rebuilding our relationship.
I had a granddaughter to help raise, and this was not at all happening.
I walked into the living room and started blowing up balloons. To hell with sleep. My mom and dad were picking Portia up tomorrow and I needed to go over and decorate the house for their homecoming.
I reached for the scissors and my hand was shaking so bad I couldn't even cut the streamers. I dropped to my knees and the tears began to flow.
“Why?” I screamed. “Dammit, why? I know I've done a lot of things in my life, but I never expected to be punished like this!” My problems were only beginning, because now I had to figure out who infected me so I could save his life as well.