Carnal Secrets (20 page)

The second Shaya’s head whipped around to glare at him, his eyes cautioned her not to fight him. The stubborn part of her wanted to, but the glint of betrayal in his gaze halted her. As his eyes turned wolf for a split second, Shaya saw that his wolf was just as angry with her. And rightly so, she accepted with an inward sigh. Her own wolf was angry with her, in fact. This was one more date to add to those she’d been on back in California after he’d found and failed to claim her—more betrayal, from his point of view.

“How about you tell me how you two met.”

Simon shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Um, we met this morning in the salon when Shaya cut my…”

The rest of Simon’s words were lost as a sharp pain lanced through Nick’s head. Great. Another headache was coming on. Not that it was particularly a shock, given his current stressful state. He needed to get out of this place now. He sure as shit wasn’t going to leave Shaya behind. “Well, it’s been great talking to you, Simon. Baby, say bye to Simon.”

Not sure if it was a good idea for them to be alone together right now, Shaya cautiously began, “Nick—” But he wasn’t listening. He cupped her elbow, gently pulling her to her feet as he rose to his. His eyes were locked on her like a predator watching its prey that it suspected was about to flee…which wasn’t far from the truth.

A part of her was thrilled about the effect this had had on him—it showed that he cared, that he considered her to be as important to him as she needed to feel that she was, that it wasn’t just all a “mine” thing and there was more to his actions than a sense of ownership. But a part of her was nervous as hell. Not that she thought he would harm her. No, never that. Still, the guy could be unnerving at the best of the times. Now, it was bad.

With his hand caging her wrist, he guided her at a brisk pace out of the restaurant and into the Mercedes. Bracing herself for a typical dominant male explosion, Shaya clicked on her belt and waited. But that explosion didn’t come. Nick calmly started the engine and calmly drove out of the parking lot. Then he calmly drove along the main road en route to her home. And she quickly discovered that the silence was much worse than a rage.

She kept expecting him to begin yelling any second, but he didn’t. He remained silent the entire journey. Pulling up outside her house, he was out of the car before she could say a word, and then he was opening the passenger door for her. But he didn’t look at her. Fine. If he wanted to brood, she’d leave him to brood.

She stomped up the driveway and unlocked her front door, intent on letting him stew. But then she changed her mind. Twirling sharply, she growled. “Why did you drag me out of there if you’re going to give me the silent treatment? If you’ve got something to say, say it. If you want to yell at me, do it.”

“Go inside. We’ll talk tomorrow. I’m not arguing with you in the middle of the street, and I’m definitely not doing it when we’ve got an audience.” The Nazi’s wolves were parked on the opposite side of the road, and the humans were about five car spaces away from the motor home.

“So come over here then.” It was a dare, and she wasn’t sure where the hell it had come from. No alpha would ignore a dare, and it seemed that her alpha—yes,
her
alpha—was no different.

Despite that Nick badly needed his pills, he ignored the pain and slowly began to cover the distance between him and Shaya. He half-expected her to run inside and shut the door, but she didn’t react in any way—didn’t cower, didn’t lower her eyes, didn’t fidget or back away. Instead, she remained where she stood in the doorway with her head held high, shoulders straight, and maintaining eye contact.
Good girl
.

“Now if you want to subject me to a lecture, do it.”

“I have no idea what to say. I’ve been patient, Shay. I’ve let things move at your pace even though it hurts on every level to hold back. And what do you do? Go on a date with a goofy web designer who blushes even more than you do. The only reason he’s still conscious is that Derren and Kent managed to calm me down to some extent before I got inside the restaurant. Why didn’t you tell me about your date? Had you planned to keep it from me altogether?”

“I was going to tell you afterward.”

“You know, Shaya, if you’d wanted to hurt me, you could have just stabbed me in the fucking chest and got it over with.”

Guilt nibbled even harder at Shaya as she heard the despondency in his voice. She also found that she didn’t like that he’d called her “Shaya.” She’d been getting used to him shortening her name, and she even kind of liked it.
He abandoned you, remember,
a voice inside her snapped. Yes, he had. But he had also apologized to her, had also been gentle with her, and had never once lost his patience with her no matter what she said or did. Even when she’d physically hurt him that first night, he’d never hurt her, never tried to intimidate her, and never tried to suppress her with his dominant vibes. More importantly, he hadn’t left her no matter what she’d done. “It wasn’t that I wanted to hurt you.”

“Oh, really?” His voice dripped with skepticism.

“Okay, maybe I wanted you to hurt a little. But I needed to know you weren’t going to abandon me again.”

“Ah, I see; well I’m so glad I passed your little test,” he said bitterly. At this point, his head was starting to pound so hard that the sound of his own voice hurt. “What you’re saying then is that, basically, everything I’ve done since I got here hasn’t made an ounce of difference to you.”

“That’s not what I meant. If you want the truth—”

“Oh yeah, I want the truth.”

“—it’s working. But don’t you get it? I never
wanted
it to work, but it has. I never
wanted
you to worm your way into my life, but you have. I never
wanted
to care if you left, but I do. I never
wanted
to dream about you, but I do, and then I wake up horny with no relief in sight.”

“You want relief?” Quiet, gruff words.

She tensed. Before she could even think to answer, he’d pushed her inside the house, kicked the door shut, and slammed her against the wall. Then his mouth was on hers and he was devouring her. There was nothing gentle or coaxing about the kiss. His mouth ravished hers, his tongue forcefully thrust into her mouth, and he kissed her like it was the last thing he would do before he died. It was deep, commanding, devastating. The force with which he took her mouth should have scared her, but instead she was on fire, and all she could do was kiss him back. He wouldn’t have settled for anything else.

Both his hands threaded into her hair, angling her head exactly how he wanted it. There was no denying that just then his lips and tongue completely owned her. It felt like a claiming, a promise, and a warning. Then he was sucking on her tongue while digging his hips into hers, crowding her with his body in a way that had her level of arousal spiking. As one hand splayed possessively over her stomach, the other suddenly yanked on her hair, forcing her head back and breaking the kiss. His face loomed over hers; his expression was fierce.

“I’m not going to fuck you.” As he spoke, he slid the hand on her stomach down to the hem of her skirt and bunched it up around her waist. “I’m not going to be some casual encounter. I want you to want me,
your mate
—not sex. But if you need relief that badly, I’ll give it to you.” He cupped her hard. Gasping, she reflexively snapped her legs together, effectively trapping his hand. He shook his head, his gaze chastising. “Open your legs.”

“What?” she squeaked at the very firm command, feeling off-balance by his sudden change of mood. He didn’t repeat himself, just raised an expectant brow at her. Gulping, Shaya slowly did as he’d asked.

He pushed two fingers past her panties and drove them into her. So hot and wet. “Mine, Shaya. Understand? You’re mine, and this pussy is mine. And if you ever again think about giving another guy what’s mine, I’ll kill him. I will. I’ll fucking tear him apart, and then I’ll spank your ass so goddamn hard, you won’t be able to sit down for a week.”

Shaya would have told him that she’d never intended to sleep with Simon, but then Nick was on his knees. He’d hiked one of her legs over his shoulder, and he was tearing off her panties. Only an idiot would distract him from what he was doing. She was a bitch, but she wasn’t an idiot.

When she felt the tip of his tongue swirl around her clit, her head fell back just as her eyelids drifted shut. She had been so damn aroused for so damn long that that one touch had her melting against the wall, moaning. As his tongue fluttered between her folds, she moved the hands she’d braced against the wall to his hair and pulled, needing more. He growled against her flesh, making her womb clench. She was glad he was gripping her thighs hard because she strongly doubted she’d be able to stand without help.

His tongue branded her with every stroke, reducing her to a sensual state that was so intense, she was almost afraid of it—almost afraid of her body’s equally intense response. Everything other than the feel of his mouth faded away as he licked, sucked, nipped, and fucked her with his tongue. And she moaned, gasped, groaned, whimpered, and sobbed. But he didn’t let up, didn’t give her any reprieve, practically torturing her with pleasure. He might have been the one on his knees, but it wasn’t Shaya who was in control. With his unrelenting grip, Nick controlled her every movement. With his talented mouth, he controlled her pleasure and her body’s responses.

“Nick…I need to…”

He growled again, and the reverberations heightened the sensations. Her legs shook as he suddenly thrust two fingers inside her and began suckling on her clit,
demanding
that she come. He got what he wanted. She screamed as her climax forcefully slammed into her, shattering her. Nick bit down hard on her inner thigh, prolonging her orgasm.

Panting hard, she watched as he fixed her skirt and got to his feet. He gave her another possessive kiss, overwhelming her mouth and biting down punishingly on her lower lip, making it clear just how pissed he still was. Then he was gone. And she was realizing that Nick had been holding back his dominant side big-time.

As Nick tossed back a handful of pills and Derren sat at the dinette frowning in disapproval, Nick was thinking that this was becoming too familiar. Either the headaches were becoming more painful or the pills were becoming less effective, because he now had to take a higher dosage to dim the pain. The bitch of it was that the dosage and the pain thrown together acted as one hell of a sedative. Any minute now, he’d be in the land of the fairies. It wasn’t until Nick slumped on the sofa, eyes closed, that Derren spoke.

“That’s three headaches you’ve had today.” His voice was quiet, which Nick appreciated.

“Yeah, well, it was a stressful day.”

Derren cursed. “Nick, you need to go back to Amber for more healing sessions.”

“No.”

A heavy sigh. “Nick—”

“They’re just headaches. Besides, you know as well as I do that if the sessions didn’t work the first time, they aren’t going to work a second time.”

“It’s always worth a shot. Or maybe you could go find another healer.”

“I’m not leaving Shaya.”

“I hate to say it, Nick—and I really, really hate to say it, because you deserve to be happy—but you’re fighting a losing battle here.” More sensitively, he added, “Shaya’s not going to come around.”

Nick was thinking he might be right about that. She had said that what he’d been doing was working, but she’d also said that she didn’t want it to work. Still, he wasn’t ready to admit it could be hopeless to himself, let alone to anyone else. “Leave it, Derren.”

“You know I’m right. Christ, Nick, she went out with another guy.”

“The reminder isn’t necessary.”

“If that doesn’t tell you that you’re making no headway here, I don’t know what will.”

“Derren, I can’t have this conversation right now.” He couldn’t have
any
conversation right then. The sounds of their voices were blurring together, and it felt like someone was striking his head repeatedly with an iron rod.

“Let me call Amber and have her look at—”

“No.”

“If I have to, I’ll ask her to come when you’re asleep—nothing in this world could wake you.”

Nick was in front of him in a second. “You do that, and I’ll kill you. You know as well as I do that if Amber touches me even once, I don’t have a chance in hell with Shaya.”

“It’s possible that you don’t have a chance anyway.”

“I mean it, Derren. Do it, and that’s it with you and me. Now I’m going to bed.” Going to a room free of noise and light where he could fall asleep with the taste of his mate on his tongue and the smell of her on his hands.

He hadn’t meant to unleash the full force of his arousal on her, but he had lost control the second his lips had touched hers. They had been so soft and pliant beneath his. Christ, she had been so responsive—moaning, writhing, and clinging to him. Moreover, he had tasted that natural submissiveness of hers, and it had only made him want her more.

Every cell of his body was urging him to go back to that house and take what was his. His wolf was clawing at him, annoyed with him for not claiming her there and then, despite how angry he was with her and how betrayed he felt. His wolf refused to consider what Nick was thinking, refused to accept that the whole situation was hopeless and that his own mate might never want him.

CHAPTER NINE