Carnival of Hearts: BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance (17 page)

Dawn was lightening the sky when Liam started pounding on the door to Lucien’s trailer, shouting that Kat and Greta had been found on the carnival’s perimeter. The Ringmaster hauled himself out of the loft bed built against the trailer’s ceiling, pausing at the kitchenette sink to splash water onto his face before he more or less stumbled out and down the steps. His bare feet dragged a little across the grass, and he rubbed the heel of his palm into his eye as he trudged beneath the fairy lamps still lit around the carnival. They would be flickering off any moment, as the sun’s first rays kissed the treetops of the surrounding forest.

“Dad!”

Kat came barreling right into him. He caught her with a surprised
oomph
and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, but over the top of her head he saw Greta, and frowned. There was something very wrong, and not just because he hadn’t expected her to return to the carnival, well, ever.

“Kitty-Kat,” he murmured into his daughter’s hair. “What’s going on?”

“
So
much stuff,” Kat gushed. “Ohmygod. So much.”

“The baby?” he asked, leaning back so he could look down into her face. “Is the baby okay? Are you okay?”

She smiled. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. I mean, I get kind of pukey sometimes, but otherwise I feel great.”

“Good.” He let out a breath and smiled back. “So why are you here so early?”

“Well…” She looked over her shoulder at Greta, who was standing at a distance from them, eyes low. The bears were stirring near the mess tables, preparing breakfast already, and Greta shifted uncomfortably on her feet; Lucien realized the bears kept looking at her. “Greta should probably tell you herself.”

“I see,” he said, nodding. “Well, are you hungry? I think Theresa is making maple sugar cream of wheat.”

“Oh, my
favorite
, I’ll go help!” Kat went jogging off towards the bears and the breakfast making, and Lucien smiled, watching her go. It felt right to have her home with the carnival again.

He ran his hands back through his hair, aware suddenly that he was still in the trousers from the night before, hadn’t even paused to put on a shirt. Then he paced slowly over to Greta, eyes scanning her face curiously.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

Her eyes stayed low. “Thomas and I got into an argument when I went back to the pack. I’ve…challenged him to a fight for dominance.”

Lucien felt the blood in his veins ice over. “Greta, why?”

“Because it’s that or submit to him.” Her eyes came up then and she looked at him. “And I refuse to submit. It was my only recourse. He was trying to dominate me as alpha and I couldn’t let that happen.”

Lucien frowned. “Can you beat him?”

Greta folded her arms beneath her breasts. She was still wearing the same clothes that he’d ripped off of her, and suddenly he became acutely aware of that, and that she carried on the skin the scent of their tryst still as well.

“I don’t know,” she finally sighed.

“Stay here,” he said immediately. “Stay with me, stay with the carnival. We’ll protect you. He won’t risk starting a war, Greta.”

Then she was frowning. “And submit to
you
instead, Ringmaster? I don’t think so.”

“That isn’t what I said,” Lucien insisted.

“No, but it’s the way things are. It’s the way you’ve made them. I don’t want to go back to that. I refuse to submit to anyone.” She turned away from him, stalking back to the tree line and tromping through the perimeter and back into the forest.

“Wait, you’re just leaving?” He followed her, throwing a glance over towards the bears and Kat, but they were all preoccupied with cooking, so he went into the forest after Greta. “Where are you going? Why did you even come back here, then?”

“Because it’s your fault and I haven’t anywhere else to go!” she snapped, whirling on him. He found himself taking an involuntary step back at the ferocity in her eyes.

“My fault? How is it my fault?”

“Well, if you hadn’t kissed me last night, none of this would’ve happened!” Greta shouted.

Lucien felt his temper flare. “Oh yes,
that kiss
has caused all these problems,” he drawled. “I stole your senses, did I? Left you so flummoxed you had no control over yourself suddenly, is that it?”

“Thomas caught me coming back, he
knew
, and he—”

“You’ve
never
loved him,” Lucien said, jabbing a finger at her, accusing. “You never have. I know you, Greta, and I know you’ve been using him for over a decade because he
let
you. And now that he’s decided he wants more, it’s
my
fault? You’re never willing to give everything!”

“That’s because
you
always tried to
take
everything!” she cried. “Everything was never enough for you!”

Lucien growled. “This isn’t about us. This is about you and your pack. And you need refuge, don’t you? That’s why you’re here. To hide until you figure out a way to defeat Thomas in the blood challenge.”

He watched the color climb into Greta’s face, a flush of embarrassment and fury. She stood there glaring at him, beautiful and bold in her rage, and said nothing. D’Orfeo’s temper cooled a little and he shook his head, turning to walk back into the carnival.

“You’re welcome to stay,” he tossed over his shoulder as he went. “But I won’t be your punching bag, Greta.”

He didn’t look back, but he did hear her footsteps strike up a few seconds later, following behind him, heading back to the carnival. It seemed that she would stay, at least for the time being. He didn’t go towards breakfast, but instead back towards his trailer, desperately in need of a shower now and a few moments just to cool off, to think. If the wolf pack was so much in flux that its two alphas were going to fight for dominance, that meant that it definitely wasn’t safe for Kat, or the baby. Nor, so far as Lucien was concerned, would it be safe for them if Thomas was the only alpha, in charge of the entire wolf pack. Lucien hated Thomas on principle, but also because he was only a worthy alpha when he had Greta to balance him. In the end he was powerful and strong, but he wasn’t wise or clever or compassionate. Either Greta had to defeat him, D’Orfeo resolved, or Kat was not returning to the wolf pack. He’d keep her with the carnival no matter who tried to stop him.

Those thoughts led him down a much darker path, however. In his trailer, as he stripped out of his trousers and stepped into the little shower stall, a rush of cool water pouring down over him, he knew that he wasn’t going to let it go that far at all. He wasn’t just worried about Kat, and no matter what Greta said to him, he wouldn’t let her lose to Thomas. He wouldn’t let that be her fate. Either Thomas would kill her or maim her or so shame her that she found herself the pack omega after being its alpha all these years, and Lucien couldn’t stand to think of her living that way.

He put his forehead to the glass of the shower stall and tried to think of how he could save her without alienating her forever. If he challenged Thomas himself, she’d hate him. If he tried to keep her in the carnival, she would hate him. It seemed that if he tried to intervene in any way at all, she would hate him. Maybe there just wasn’t a way around that. Lucien was slowly resigning himself to the idea that Greta was destined to hate him, and he was destined to love her, and they would stay this way, at odds, for all their lives.

Greta choked down some of the sweet cream of wheat the bears had made for breakfast, and then Kat was kind enough to let her take a shower in the trailer they’d kept for her. Even though it had been a year since she lived with the carnival, Liam and her father had refused to let anyone else move into the trailer. Greta suspected, now that Kat was pregnant, that they would turn it into a kind of nursery now as well. When she’d finished bathing, she stepped out of the tiny bathroom and into the main part of the trailer, and Kat was sitting at a little table with a cup of coffee, waiting for her. It brought Greta up short, and she tightened the towel knotted at her collarbone a little.

“You’ve known my dad for a long time,” Kat said, stirring the coffee in her mug. She smiled a little. “I could tell when I first saw you two together, but now I think it’s like even a bigger deal than I originally thought.”

Greta hesitated, but then she nodded. “I’ve known him a long time, yes.”

Kat licked the spoon and then pointed at her with it. “He’s in love with you.”

Greta felt heat climb into her cheeks. She cleared her throat. “Kat, I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation. Do you have, um, clothes I could borrow?”

Kat arched her eyebrows. “I’ll give you clothes if you give me the scoop.”

Greta stared at her. She supposed that, in the past year, she hadn’t spent much time getting to know Kat. She had been too afraid that Kat might suddenly remember her somehow, and then she would be faced with the very conversation Kat wanted to have now.

“Your father and I were together a very long time ago,” Greta finally said. “I didn’t know you were his daughter, and he didn’t know that Max was my pack mate until…well, until we saw each other.”

“Awwwkward,” Kat said, eyes widening a little. Then she got up from the table and went to the midsection of the trailer, popping open a bench seat to rummage inside it. “So what are you going to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re here.
He’s
here. All your
feelings
are here.” She stood back up and nudged the bench shut with an elbow, shuffling over to offer Greta a pair of cutoff shorts and a t-shirt. “Here, these should fit you even though you’re taller than me.”

Greta took the clothes. “Thanks. Look, Kat, it’s not that I don’t still care for your father, but he and I are…we’re not together anymore. And it’s been a long time.”

Kat looked up at her, mouth quirking faintly. “He looks at you the way Max looks at me. If he’s been doing that all this time, well. Trust me. It ain’t over. Anyway, I’ll let you get dressed. Just…I know that my dad can be overbearing and everything, but if he loves you, it’s basically the best thing ever.” She smiled and turned, leaving the trailer.

Greta got dressed, finding a pair of Kat’s old tennis shoes that fit her feet, and she stood in the small trailer bathroom brushing her long blond hair, gazing at her reflection and wondering who in the hell she was going to be tomorrow, or the day after. Alpha, omega, mate. She’d always thought that she had to be with other wolves, with a pack, to be happy. She’d given up on the great love of her life because of that belief, but now even that wasn’t making her happy.

By the time she left Kat’s trailer, the carnival members were all up and about, the fairgrounds bustling as they prepared to open the carnival for the day. Greta had forgotten the frisson of excitement that electrified the carnival once the lights winked brighter and the music from the hurdy-gurdy began to list lightly down the lanes of games and sideshows. The roadies were checking the Ferris wheel and the few other rides that traveled with them, making sure that everything had been erected safely and correctly. Baptiste was practicing his routine for the magic show he performed, the one where Lucien took his turn before the crowd in his lion skin. Mabel was sitting outside on her little stage, in a rocking chair and a floral kimono, delicately combing the long, pale twists of her beard. She set her hand mirror in her lap when she saw Greta approaching, a smile blooming on her lips.

“Well, my goodness,” she said, laughing. “I’d heard you were here but I hardly believed it.”

“Hello, Mabel. Good to see you.”

“Aren’t you just as beautiful as ever?” Mabel sighed. “And just in time for opening.”

“I’ll do my best to stay out of everyone’s way,” Greta assured her.

Mabel laughed again. “By my recollection, you were never in anyone’s way, sugar. Didn’t you used to run the Ferris wheel with Liam?”

“Among other odd jobs,” Greta said, nodding. “I also ran the fun house.”

“Mmhm. I take it you’re not here to stay, though.”

Greta shook her head. “No, ma’am. I have to return to the pack in the next few days.”

“You’ve a fight ahead of you,” Mabel predicted, sizing her up. Greta shifted a little nervously, trying to smile it away. But Mabel went on, “With the Ringmaster. With your pack. Don’t need a fortune-teller to see that’s on the horizon. I hope you sort yourself out, Greta.”

“Me too. Thanks, Mabel.” Greta shot her a little wave and turned to continue down the lane. This was not a conversation she really felt like having, and Mabel was right, as always. A fight with the Ringmaster, a fight with her pack. Both were certainly in Greta’s future. She only wished that there was a fortune-teller who could tell her exactly what to choose, how to choose, what to do. But of course those people didn’t really exist. Everyone had to make choices for themselves in life.

By midmorning, the carnival was open and the crowds had begun trickling in. Greta found herself commandeered by Liam to work the Ferris wheel and she put up little resistance. It was simple, gratifying work, locking people in and rolling them up into the sky to smile and point at the clouds. The scents of funnel cake and popcorn filled the air, floating along from the concession stand along with the smoke from the grill, where Theresa was turning hot dogs and hamburgers. As morning rolled into afternoon, Greta had gotten so reacquainted with the process of running the Ferris wheel that Liam left her to it and she stopped really perceiving the passage of time, just relaxedly ran the ride around and around and around. Until a familiar smell broke through the pleasant drift of Theresa’s cooking, and she looked up from the Ferris wheel’s control levers to see Thomas and Max walking through the crowds of carnival goers, towards her.

She stepped away from the Ferris wheel’s controls, but as she moved to meet the two approaching wolves, she felt a shadow at her back. She turned, and there was Liam, arms crossed over his chest, scowling as he looked over her head at Thomas and Max.

“Right back where I found you,” Thomas said, plainly unimpressed.

“Technically, I found you,” she shot back.

“I wanted to tell you in person,” he went on, as if she hadn’t spoken, “that we’ll fight at dawn.”

Greta noticed that Max’s eyes were low in submission. There must have been an argument over whether or not Thomas would accompany Max, and Greta assumed that it was because Thomas wanted to be certain Max would return to the pack and not stay here with the carnival, Greta and Kat.

“Message received,” Liam said. “Now get out of here.”

“Greta, tell Kat,” Max said, without looking up. “Tell her I’ll see her tomorrow, okay?”

“I will, Max.”

“Dawn,” Thomas said again. “At the cabin.” He looked around, taking in the sights and sounds of the carnival, and then turned to leave as Liam had instructed. Greta knew he was considering the likelihood of the carnival attacking overnight.

“It’s between you and me and nobody else, Thomas,” she called to him. He glanced back at her over his shoulder, once, but then carried on and said nothing else.

Max lingered a moment, then turned to follow his alpha. Greta gritted her teeth. Beside her, she heard Liam growl deep in his throat.

“He doesn’t have any allies,” the bear muttered. “Only submissives. They don’t love him, Greta.”

“No, but they fear him,” she said. “And that’s good enough.”

“No.” Liam scowled. “No, it isn’t. It’s not good enough for you or your pack. They deserve better. They deserve you.”

Greta felt her heart constrict. The wolf inside her bristled and then sadness and fear poured in. “But I can’t beat him, Liam.”

The bear said nothing for a long moment, and Greta felt slightly sick with that admission. The whirl of the Ferris wheel lights overhead and the smoke from the grill, the tinny music from the hurdy-gurdy and all the smells and sounds and flashes of the carnival felt suddenly overwhelming instead of comforting. She felt Liam’s hand brush her arm and jumped a little, looking up at him. The big man smiled, apologetic.

“When you left us you were angry,” he said quietly. “Now you’re back and you’re sad. Will you go into that fight sad? You’ll lose for sure then.”

“I’ll lose no matter what I am.” Greta sighed.

But Liam shook his head a little. “No, Greta, that’s not true.”

She frowned, looking up at him. “What do you mean?”

Liam looked across the carnival lanes and Greta followed his eyes. Her heart did a little flip-flop in her chest when her gaze landed on the front of the big top, where the Ringmaster stood with his arms in the air, inviting the spectators in with a mischievous grin and a beckoning wave of his hands. Even just looking at him, Greta knew what Liam meant. If she went to face Thomas in love, with a mate marked and bound, she would be strong enough to defeat him. Especially if that mate was another alpha. But that was impossible. She couldn’t bind herself to Lucien forever. They were destined to fight and break each other’s hearts, over and over again. Weren’t they?