Carole (18 page)

Dear Diary:

I had another idea for a boyfriend today. I was talking to Stevie while we were cleaning tack after class, and she started complaining about something her younger brother, Michael, did. I think it had to do with putting his pet turtle in her shoe, but I wasn’t paying that much attention to the details. I’d suddenly remembered hearing her complain about brothers before, and I was pretty sure she had a lot of them. So I asked her about them, and it turns out she has three. Michael is younger than us, Alex is Stevie’s twin, and Chad is a couple of years older. I figured either Alex or Chad would be perfect. After all, Stevie is really nice, so her brothers are probably just as nice, right? And even though
Alex is our age, maybe he’s not as immature and weird as those other guys
.

I was kind of embarrassed about telling Stevie about my plan, though. She may be nice, but she also loves to tease people. So I was afraid to just come out and ask her if I could meet her brothers sometime. Luckily I remembered something she said to me once—namely, that there’s always more than one way to get what you want if you’re willing to be creative. She said it when she was trying to figure out a way to convince Max to let us play mounted games in class a couple of weeks ago instead of practicing bandaging. It didn’t work that time, but it still makes sense
.

So I decided to approach my problem creatively, just like she would. “Boy, I’m really hungry after that class,” I remarked as I scrubbed Delilah’s bridle. “Max worked us hard today.”

“You’re telling me,” Stevie agreed
.

I sighed as loudly as I could. “Too bad I’m stuck heating up a lousy frozen dinner again tonight.” I made my voice as sad as I could
.

“Really? How come?” Stevie asked. “I thought your dad was a great cook.” She’s only met Dad quickly a couple of times when he’s come to pick me up, but I guess I’d talked about him some
.

“He is,” I said
.

I felt kind of sad suddenly, since I wanted to tell her about how Mom was a fantastic cook, too, before she got sick. Now she hardly cooks at all anymore, since she doesn’t even feel like eating a lot of the time because of her treatments. I
forced all that out of my mind. After all, I was doing this for Mom, right? I had to make it work
.

“He is,” I said again. “But he has to take Mom to the doctor tonight, so I’m on my own.”

“You get to stay home by yourself when your parents are out?” Stevie actually looked sort of jealous. “My parents always get a baby-sitter.” She snorted. “Unless they’re only going out for a little while, and then they put Chad the Chump in charge. That’s even worse.”

I didn’t bother to tell her that Mom and Dad always get Emily Robinson from across the street to come and watch me when they’re not home. It didn’t seem important at the moment, especially since Mom and Dad weren’t even going to the doctor that night at all. “Um, sure,” I said. “But it’s kind of lonely sometimes.”

Stevie immediately looked concerned. “Really? Well, then why don’t you come to my house for dinner tonight? I’m sure my folks won’t mind.”

Bingo!
I felt like cheering. Being creative was easier than I thought! “Really?” I said, pretending to think about it. “Thanks, Stevie. I guess that would be fun. Are you sure it’s okay?”

Stevie grinned. “I’ll go call home right now and check, if you’ll finish cleaning Comanche’s girth for me,” she offered
.

“Deal,” I said with a smile, taking the sweaty girth from her
.

A few minutes later, it was all set. Stevie’s parents said of course it was fine for me to come, and I called my parents and told them. They were fine with it, too. Dad actually sounded kind of relieved when I asked him
.

“Have a nice time, sweetie,” he told me. “That Stevie seems like a really nice girl.”

“She is, Dad.” I smiled secretly to myself. Maybe someday soon, he and Mom will be saying the same thing about one of Stevie’s brothers! (Well, except for the “girl” part, of course!)

Anyway, I’m writing this in Delilah’s stall while I’m waiting for Stevie to get ready to go. Max is making her clean out stalls for an extra hour after lessons for a whole month because of the prank she pulled on Veronica a few weeks ago. I would help her, of course, except Max always keeps a close eye on her to make sure she does the work herself
.

I hope she finishes soon. I can’t wait to get over to her house and meet the man of my dreams! Or maybe I should say men of my dreams—Alex and Chad. I wonder which one I’ll like better? Carole and Alex. Carole and Chad. Hmmm. They both sound okay. So I guess I’ll just have to wait until I meet them—and hope I can make up my mind!

Dear Diary:

I just got back from Stevie’s house—or maybe I should start saying
Chad’s
house now, if he’s going to be my new boyfriend! Yes, that’s right—I think my plan is actually working!

I was disappointed at first when I found out Alex was having dinner at a friend’s house that night and wouldn’t be around. But I figured maybe that was just as well. Chad is older, after all, and that’s what I decided I wanted, right?

By the way, I also met Stevie’s parents for the first time. They’re both lawyers, and they’re really nice. It’s funny how much Stevie looks like her mom. She doesn’t think she does—she gave me a funny look when I said something about it—but it’s true. They both have the exact same shade of dark blond hair, and the same chin and eyes. They even laugh the same way! I wonder if Mom and I look that much alike to other people. I never really thought about it. Probably not, I guess. Mom’s so beautiful, even now when she’s so thin and is losing her hair from her treatments. I just hope I start to look like her someday
.

But back to my dinner at the Lakes’ house. When we first got there (Stevie lives within walking distance of Pine Hollow—lucky!), the only brother who was around was Michael. I thought he was adorable at first—he’s about seven years old, with this round face and these big innocent-looking eyes—but then he brought out his insect collection to show me, and I changed my mind about him. Especially since his insects are all alive!

Finally, when it was almost time to sit down to dinner, Chad got home from baseball practice. He turned out to be kind of tall and gangly, but cute I guess. You can definitely tell he’s older than those boys I was talking to (or
trying
to talk to!) at Pine Hollow. He’s also sort of hyper—he never sits still for a single second, sort of like Stevie. I guess that’s good. It means he has a lot of energy
.

Anyway, Stevie introduced us. “Hey, dork,” she said as Chad walked in. “This is Carole.”

Chad nodded politely at me. Then he looked at Stevie
.
“So you tricked another poor innocent person into being your friend, huh, Skeevie?”

“Chad!” Mrs. Lake said sternly. “No name calling.”

“But she called me a dork,” Chad protested
.

Stevie smirked. “That’s because that’s your name, dork.”

“Stevie,” Mrs. Lake said warningly
.

I just kept smiling through all that, trying to act normal. But I was pretty nervous. I mean, I really wanted to make a good impression on Chad. I didn’t want him to think I was too immature to be his girlfriend
.

We sat down to dinner soon, and for a while Mr. and Mrs. Lake asked me all kinds of questions about myself, like what it’s like living on a military base and how I adjusted to moving so much. But finally the two of them started chatting about some lawyer-type topic, and Stevie started talking to me about Pine Hollow
.

Normally I would have been perfectly happy to talk about horses all day long, but Chad didn’t seem that interested in the topic, so I figured maybe I should try to change the subject. When Stevie paused to take a bite of her food, I turned to her older brother with my brightest smile
.

“So, Chad,” I said. “Do you like horseback riding, too?”

Chad paused with his fork halfway to his mouth and stared at me in shock. Michael started snickering
.

Stevie rolled her eyes. “You can take that as a no,” she told me. “My brothers don’t like anything cool like riding. They’re more interested in idiotic hobbies like capturing reptiles from the backyard or watching boring kung fu movies.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It wasn’t
too hard to guess that Michael was the reptile chaser, so I figured that meant Chad was the one interested in kung fu. I tried to think of something to say on that topic, but my mind drew a blank. “Um, my dad’s in the Marines,” I told him at last
.

It was kind of a stupid comment, I guess—I mean, what does that have to do with kung fu? Besides, he should have figured it out already from what I was talking about with his parents. But I wasn’t sure he’d been paying attention to that, and besides, it was the only thing I could think of right then that might impress a guy like Chad. It seemed to do the trick
.

“Really?” he said, looking at me for the first time with real interest. “That’s cool. Has he ever been in active duty in a war?”

“Um, I don’t think so,” I said. “But he has a collection of antique war medals.”

“Cool!” Chad said again. “Which wars are they from?”

“The war of the dorks,” Stevie muttered under her breath
.

I ignored her. “I’m not really sure,” I said. ”Uh, but you could come over to my house and see them sometime. If you want.”

Stevie turned and goggled at me. “Carole, no! You don’t want a dork like him in your house. It’s bad enough I have to have him in my house.”

Mr. Lake interrupted his conversation long enough to turn and glare at his daughter. “Stevie!” he said sharply. “What have we told you about name calling?”

“Sorry, Dad,” she said contritely. As soon as he turned back to Mrs. Lake, she stuck her tongue out at Chad. “Dork,” she mouthed silently
.

Chad just grinned at her. Then he turned to me. “Why, thank you so much, Carole,” he said. “I’d love to come and take a look at your dad’s collection. When would be convenient for you?”

“Never,” Stevie snapped. “Say never, Carole!”

“Um, anytime, I guess,” I said, desperately trying to remember my mother’s treatment schedule. I wanted to make sure she met Chad on a day when she was likely to be feeling well. “How about the day after tomorrow?”

“Wonderful!” Chad smiled at me. “How’s four-thirty? I can stop by right after baseball practice.”

So that was that! I had a date! At first I couldn’t wait to tell Mom. Then I thought about it and decided to surprise her instead. I just told her a friend was stopping by for a visit. She looked pretty happy about that. “Is it that lovely girl Stevie Lake?” she asked
.

“Um, not exactly,” I said, trying not to giggle
.

Speaking of Stevie, she didn’t seem too happy about the whole situation. She kept grumbling about how I would regret ever letting a dork like Chad in my house, and how I was just too nice and trusting for my own good. But I’m sure she’ll get used to seeing me and Chad together before long
.

And I know Mom will love him!

Dear Diary:

This day started out totally embarrassing, but it ended up okay. Chad was so late getting to my house that I was afraid he wasn’t coming at all. But he finally rang the bell at ten minutes to five
.

“Come on in,” I told him, feeling kind of shy. “I want you to meet my mother.”

He nodded agreeably. “Is your dad home yet?”

“Uh, not yet,” I said
.

Chad looked a little disappointed. “Too bad. I wanted to ask him some stuff about the Marines.” He glanced at his watch. “Maybe I should stop by some other time when he’s here.”

“No!” I cried in a panic. “I mean, he might get home soon. Why don’t you come meet Mom now?”

He shrugged. “Okay.”

I led the way to the kitchen, where Mom was reading a magazine and sipping some tea. She looked tired, but otherwise nobody who didn’t know better would guess that she had cancer. Her thinning hair was covered by a bright scarf, and she was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt
.

“Hey, Mom,” I said. “I want to introduce, uh, a special friend of mine. Chad Lake.”

Mom gave me a surprised look. But she smiled politely at Chad. “Hello,” she said. “It’s always nice to meet Carole’s friends.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Mrs., uh …” Chad looked helpless
.

I suddenly realized that he didn’t even know my last name! “Hanson,” I supplied quickly, feeling my cheeks turn red. “Mrs. Hanson.”

Chad just nodded, looking sheepish. He glanced around the kitchen. “Nice house.” He looked a little uncomfortable. “Uh, so do you mind if we go take a look at those war medals now? I sort of need to get home soon.”

“Oh, are you sure you have to go?” I said quickly. “Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mom giving me another surprised look. But that was nothing compared to the strange glance Chad gave me. “Is Stevie up to something?” he asked suddenly. “Come on, tell me. Is that what’s going on? There actually
are
no old war medals, are there?”

“What?” I had no idea what he was talking about. But I had the unpleasant feeling that I was losing control of things. “Of course there are. They’re in the den. This way.”

I hurried out of the kitchen. Moments later, Chad was bent over Dad’s collection. He seemed pretty impressed, and he kept talking about different battles and stuff. But I wasn’t really listening. This date wasn’t going anything like I’d planned, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it
.

When he finished looking over the medals, he stood up straight and glanced toward the front door. “Okay, well, thanks,” he said. “I guess I’d better—”

At that moment I spotted Mom coming into the room. I knew I had to do something, and fast, if I was going to convince her that I had a boyfriend. So I did the only thing I
could think of. I grabbed Chad’s hand and held it. “Okay,” I said, smiling up at him. “Thanks for coming over, Chad.”

He jerked his hand away, seeming startled. “What are you doing?” he said. “I’m telling you, when I get ahold of Stevie …” He shook his head and raced off, an angry and confused look on his face
.

I slumped down onto the couch as the front door slammed. Mom had been standing in the doorway, watching the whole thing. Now she came forward. “Carole, sweetie,” she said softly
.

“Leave me alone,” I muttered, burying my face in my hands. I felt ready to cry. How could I have been so stupid? Now I’d scared Chad away, and my plan was ruined. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Mom sat down on the couch beside me. A second later I felt her warm hand stroking my hair. “Carole,” she said gently. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“What do you mean?” I asked
.

Mom grabbed my chin, tilting it up so that she could look into my face. “Oh, sweetie,” she said, her voice sort of thick and sad. “Don’t you think I’ve noticed how hard you’ve been trying these past few weeks? I mean, all the picnics, the museums …”

I gulped. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I was just trying to help.” I blinked back a few tears
.

Mom pulled me to her and hugged me tight for a long moment. “Thank you, sweetie,” she murmured into my ear. “Thank you for doing that, for wanting to make me feel better. For creating so many nice memories. But maybe it
would be better if we just looked for special moments as they come.” She pulled back and smiled at me. “Like this one, for instance.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean sometimes we get so busy we start to miss the little things, like sitting in the den hugging each other,” she said, brushing my hair out of my face. “If you’re too busy doing anything, even something wonderful like trying to make someone else happy, you can end up not really enjoying your life. You know?”

I nodded. I was starting to see what she meant, a little. Still, I didn’t like the idea of wasting time waiting for her to get better. I mean, who knows how long that could take?

As if reading my mind, sort of, Mom spoke again. “And honey, please remember: Nobody knows how long they’re going to have together or what’s going to happen next. The best thing to do is just to live for today, try to appreciate all the times you have, good and bad, large moments and small ones.”

That idea was kind of scary, but it made sense, too. I nodded again as I thought about it. “Okay,” I told her. “I’ll try.”

Mom hugged me again, smiling. “Me too, sweetie,” she promised. “Me too.”