This morning had confused her, had shaken the foundations of her own reality. She had felt her father’s arms trembling, heard the roughness of his voice. Obviously he’d been deeply affected by her disappearance, but his emotional reaction had literally come out of the blue and was a complete surprise to Alex. He would always be a puzzle to her, she figured, but she didn’t know if she really wanted to solve it.
So much of her identity was tied up in her negative feelings toward her father, and wasn’t that a sad way to live.
How much of her drive, her struggle for success in his field, was the result of a need to prove herself in spite of him.
“I’m pleased that you’ve decided to fulfill the terms of your contract.” He was looking away from Alex, staring in the direction of the rugged peaks of the Trinity Alps. She tried to recall if he ever actually looked at her when they spoke, but she’d always had the feeling her appearance displeased him. He generally focused elsewhere, as he did now.
“I would have been disappointed if you had pulled out of the job,” he said. “Even though I know the past few days have been difficult.”
“I think difficult is an understatement, don’t you, Dad? Shot at, pursued by drug smugglers, then trapped for four days in a cave we weren’t certain we’d ever find a way out of should probably warrant a little hazardous-duty pay, don’t you agree?” She watched him, waiting for his reaction.
“You signed an agreement.” Succinct as always. His gaze still rested on the distant peaks and she wondered what he was really thinking.
“It’s the honorable thing to do,” he added, finally turning his brilliant blue eyes on Alex, eyes that had been his legacy to her.
“You’re right, Dad.” Alex quickly stood, grabbing the half-empty iced tea glass. “And we all know just how honorable a man you are, don’t we?”
She slipped quietly into the cabin, careful not to wake Jessie, and closed the door behind her. Leaning weakly against the rough-hewn boards, lost in her own confusing thoughts, Alex cried silent tears that continued to fall long after she heard her father leave.
Nate dragged himself out of the shower only when he figured his legs wouldn’t hold him upright any longer. He checked his reflection in the steamy mirror and decided the beard could stay another day. So what if it was getting gray? Who did he have to impress?
Then he slipped his watch on, a ten-dollar special he’d picked up this afternoon at a local discount store. He’d never really worried about time all that much. There was always a clock somewhere on campus, but the lack of a timepiece while he and Alex were in the cave had been terribly disorienting.
It was almost nine o’clock. One helluva long day, between his statement for the sheriff’s deputy and identifying the three drug smugglers over at the jail.
God, he was tired. At least the doctor at the emergency room had given him an almost clean bill of health. Bruised ribs and a minor concussion might hurt like hell, but he was going to live.
In fact, the physician on duty had commented on Nate’s remarkable healing ability. That might be a tough one to explain.
Nate stretched out on top of the bedspread, sprawling diagonally across the queen-sized mattress. Pulling back the blankets sounded like it might take too much effort, and the room was warm enough anyway.
He thought about Alex, about their argument this morning. It had taken him awhile, but he was positive he’d finally figured out what upset her. She’d told him about the time her father took credit for some of her photos and ended up winning a Pulitzer with them. That was definitely a raw sort of betrayal. Nate guessed she had a good reason to be a little touchy about who handled her pictures. Still, it hurt him deeply that she didn’t trust him.
He was sorry he hadn’t gone by the cabin to check on her, but the day had been so full and time had gotten away from him. But more than that, he wished she were here beside him, nestled up against his chest. “We’ll work it out,” he sighed, feeling himself drift into sleep.
He had the contract, and before the five remaining weeks had ended, he was certain he’d have Alex as well. If it took more than five weeks? Well, he’d always been a stubborn sort.
Alex waved good-bye to Jessie with mixed emotions. She was sorry to see her friend go but relieved at the same time. It had been a difficult three days, avoiding Jessie’s questions about Nate, but Alex couldn’t talk about him yet. She wasn’t certain herself how she felt.
The camera equipment arrived late Monday afternoon, shipped air express from her father. She was almost sorry he had chosen that impersonal method of delivery, since she had practically convinced herself there was a chance for the two of them to work out their differences. But the heavily insured package, no note enclosed, reminded her that reconciliations were never easy, and this particular one might never happen at all.
Nate called once, a very businesslike contact Monday evening, right after Jessie left. The purpose of the call, he informed her, was merely to ask about her physical condition and to confirm her willingness to complete the remainder of the photography, as per her contract.
She wanted to respond that her physical condition was fine, that her period had started that morning and he was off the hook. But she felt so weepy when she heard his voice that she cut the call short, filled the bathtub full of hot water and lavender-scented bath beads, and spent the rest of the evening soaking in the tub with a glass of wine, a sad romance novel, and a whole box of tissues.
By the time Tuesday morning arrived, Alex wondered if she’d ever be able to drag herself out of bed, much less climb a cliff with a sack full of camera equipment. But she had her gear packed and neatly piled on the front porch when Roger Dalton stopped by to pick her up. She had fully expected to see Nate, and the ranger’s friendly face was a welcome diversion.
“Mornin’, Roger,” she said, flashing him a warm smile. “I expected Dr. Murdock. Is he already out at the site?”
“He’s hardly left it.” Dalton laughed, grabbing her bags and loading them into the back of his pickup. “He spent Saturday in town getting his equipment together, making a statement down at the sheriff’s office, and checking out the artifacts. I flew him back in to set up a new camp early Sunday morning.”
He helped Alex into the truck, then climbed in and headed slowly toward the airport. “Doc came back in for a couple of hours on Monday, then headed right back out again.” Dalton turned to look at Alex, and she noticed a definite twinkle in his eyes.
“Hell, I’ve flown back and forth so many times I feel like a gosh darned boomerang!” He laughed at his own joke before focusing once again on the road. “He’ll be real glad to see you, you can bet on that,” Dalton added, still chuckling. “He’s been trying to do his own photos the past couple of days. Photography is most definitely not one of Doc’s natural talents.”
“I’m anxious to get back to work.” She was, wasn’t she? Alex realized her mind was drifting—to the job, yes, but mostly to Nate. But when her thoughts wanted to settle on what she knew to be Nate’s natural talents, she forced herself to concentrate on the ride instead.
The rest of the trip to the airport was made in silence. Alex helped Roger load the equipment into the small helicopter. The larger chopper they’d flown in on Saturday was parked near one of the hangars. In the field beyond it, to one side of the main runway, sat a crumpled pile of metal.
Roger pointed the wreck out to her as they flew over. “Doc told me that’s your doin’,” he shouted over the roar of the engine. “Remind me not to have you do any repairs for me!”
“That’s the helicopter the drug smugglers flew?” She stared at the wreckage, amazed anyone could have survived in that twisted pile of debris. A large black scar running up the hill on one side pointed to a grass fire the crash had started, but the helicopter itself had not burned.
Alex was relieved to see that. She hadn’t considered the ramifications of her vandalism when she pulled the cables loose on the chopper. She didn’t think she could live with herself if she’d actually caused any deaths, especially deaths by fire. She shuddered, thinking of what might have happened.
The flight seemed shorter this time. Even so, Alex experienced a strange sense of déjà vu when Roger carefully landed the helicopter in the meadow down the hill from the campsite and helped her carry her bags along the trail.
Two tents were set up this time, side by side near the carefully reconstructed fire pit. Nate had told her he would purchase new camping equipment for her.
Obviously he’d followed through.
Roger helped Alex store her things in the empty tent, then sauntered down the trail with a jaunty wave and a tip of his hat. This time she knew what to expect, but that didn’t make it any easier.
She organized her camera equipment, choosing the lenses she thought she might need, then sat on the scarred log by the fire pit to wait for Nate.
He had told her to be here early Tuesday morning, and by the hands on her brand-new watch she knew it was just a little past eight o’clock. Alex still couldn’t believe Jessie had bought her this dumb watch. Would the time underground have passed differently if she and Nate had been aware of the exact minutes and hours? She doubted it.
The morning was cool. Alex shivered slightly in her light nylon jacket. She missed her comfortable old sweatshirt. All of her new things felt too stiff.
Clothes shopping with Jessie was always an interesting experience, but Monday’s excursion had been truly unique. Alex had had a difficult time convincing the effervescent blond that silk teddies and satin nightgowns were not the uniform of the day on a campout.
Still, it had been fun to hit the stores on someone else’s expense account, even though Alex had kept her purchases practical and to a minimum. She had to think about Nate as her employer, not her ex-lover, if she was ever going to get through the next five weeks. Dressing to provoke Nate’s interest certainly wasn’t the way to keep things platonic.
She wasn’t certain when she’d actually made the decision to try and ignore what had happened between them, but it was a decision she firmly believed would have to be followed.
She’d had all weekend to think about it. Their entire relationship had happened by accident. It was a known fact danger could be a powerful aphrodisiac, and neither she nor Nate had been immune to the effect.
Even now, knowing what Nate was really like, how autocratic he could be, she couldn’t help but think of that other side of him as well. The gentle, tender, loving side that made her heart race and her body respond on a level so sensual and passionate it brought a flush to her cheeks.
But Alex was certain she had seen the real Nathan Murdock after they left the cave, and he wasn’t a man she liked very much. Her eyes burned with the quick sting of unshed tears. What a disappointment! In the caverns he had been the perfect lover, the ideal companion, her partner in every way.
They had shared something very special in the darkness. Alex would never forget the way he had made her feel. Once they escaped though, it was a different matter altogether. She should have expected it. That’s when the typical, testosterone-ridden male had taken over. She thought about their headlong rush back to camp, the anger radiating from Nate, and the uncontrollable need for action that had turned him into a stranger.
When he decided to turn her pictures over to the authorities without first consulting her, he’d gone too far. She’d been willing to forgive his anger, had even accepted his leadership when she didn’t always agree with him. But no man, not even Nate, took her work, her photographs, without her permission. He had no right to make that decision. His actions were unacceptable.
No one made her decisions for her. That was one lesson it had taken Alex a long time to learn, but her father had been a great teacher. Of course, Jake got his share of credit for reinforcing the lesson.
Once you let a man take control, your independence was gone. Kaput.
Alex took a deep, calming breath. This wasn’t the way to think if she was going to make it through the next five weeks. And she would make it. She’d show Nate Murdock a thing or two. He was one chauvinist who definitely had a lesson to learn.
Chapter 14
Nate paused in the midst of a downward stroke with his razor and looked at his trembling hand. He was lucky the small nick on his chin was his only injury the way his hands were shaking.
He’d been fine until the helicopter carrying Alex had flown over the ridge half an hour earlier. Now he could hear the familiar throbbing beat again as the craft hovered a moment above the meadow, then disappeared over the ridge south of their camp.
That would be Dalton heading back to the airport.
And that meant Alex was waiting for him, probably sitting on the big log by the fire, her long hair tied back in a prim braid.
He took a deep breath, then applied the razor to his beard one more time. His hands were calm now. Alex was back.
Alex checked her watch, then gazed down the trail in the direction of the stream. She figured Nate was probably bathing and immediately felt a warm flush as she recalled their first meeting by the water.
She couldn’t help but think how much fun it would be just to sort of wander on down to the creek and offer him a cup of coffee, but that could lead to all sorts of complications.
Just thinking about him made her chest feel tight. How was she going to spend the next five weeks working with the man without losing it altogether? Without losing herself?
Just do it. Get the job done, and go home.
That was the only way she’d survive.
A rustling in the brush warned her of his return, and she took a brief moment to compose herself. But the minute he stepped out of the woods and into the small clearing, Alex realized all her mental preparation was for nothing.
Sunlight gilded his auburn hair and burnished the strands waving softly around his collar to a deep copper. His face was tan, the bruises around his jaw and eye faded to a sickly yellow.
Alex didn’t think they detracted in the least from his rugged good looks. He waved but he didn’t smile.
“Mornin’, Alex.” He greeted her as if nothing had ever happened between them. That was good. It worked. But why did it feel like an insult?
“Got all your gear ready? How’re you feeling?”
“Fine. Yeah, everything’s ready.” She could do this. It wasn’t going to be easy, but she could handle it. “Are we going into the cave this morning?”
“Yeah. Do you want to see the pottery? They released the pots to me when I went into town yesterday.” He turned and lifted the flap to his tent, then carefully dragged a large duffle bag out into the morning light.
Alex held her breath, watching the reverent manner in which Nate slowly unwrapped each precious bundle. There were eight in all, some quite simple but others intricately inlaid with jade and semiprecious stones. Some of the designs were familiar, obviously similar to the carvings on the face of the cliff. Others appeared to be totally unique.
Nate handed one of the bowls to Alex, and she touched the smooth surface with a sense of wonder. This very bowl belonged to a goddess. Her breath caught in her throat and her chest felt tight. “They just gave them to you?” Each piece was priceless. She couldn’t imagine someone just handing them over to Nate. To anyone.
“Yeah. Luckily the Forest Service has a policy of leaving artifacts undisturbed, so it didn’t take much to convince them that we should replace the pots exactly where they were found. Without publicity. That means no pictures. As far as anyone knows, they do not exist, and since I’m an authority on the subject, they were able to return them to me. You haven’t mentioned your dreams, have you?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t feel right talking about them, and that’s not just because people will think I’ve gone off the deep end. It just didn’t feel right to say anything about any of that part of what happened.”
Nate was nodding in agreement, as if he were pleased. It was nice knowing that he felt the same as she, that the cave spirits should be left in peace.
“Did you get called in to give a statement?” He took the bowl from her hands and carefully rewrapped it in the protective covering.
“Not yet. Someone from the sheriff’s department contacted me and said as long as they could find me, your statement would suffice for now. What did you have to do when you went in?”
“I identified the three smugglers and told the detective exactly what happened.”
Right, Alex thought, wondering how much detail had been left out of his statement. She hated the thought of his talking about the magic between them in the caverns, but she couldn’t let herself think about that time. Not if she was ever going to walk away with her soul intact.
It was too late for her heart.
She almost missed what Nate was saying about the investigation. “He said they’ve got a good case against them. Airtight, in fact, with the shots you took, which are excellent. By the way,” he added, almost as an afterthought, “I’ve got your thumb drive. The department made copies and turned the original files back over to me.”
The pictures, she thought angrily, ignoring the little voice in the back of her mind that reminded her how much easier it was to walk away angry than to walk away heartsick. “How come they didn’t turn them over to me?” she asked, feeling the slow anger again. “They’re my pictures, aren’t they?”
Nate walked around beside her, hesitated, then moved across the small space to sit on the log facing her. He sighed deeply, and she wondered if he was mad at her for reopening the issue.
“Actually, Alex, they’re mine, or the university’s, if you want to get technical. I hired you, and with the terms of the contract, any and all photos you take on this project belong to the UC Berkeley Department of Folklore and Antiquities. They paid for any and all pictures you take while working on this project. It’s a standard work-for-hire contract. We’re paying for your skill and expertise and the use of your equipment.”
She hadn’t even thought of that. He had every right to dispose of the pictures in any way he wanted. She’d been wrong, not Nate.
“I, I’m sorry.”
Such a fool!
She looked away, too embarrassed to face him. “I just blew up without thinking.” It was hard to apologize, even more difficult to raise her gaze to his, expecting his gloating smile.
His solemn expression confused her.
“Alex, I don’t know what happened Saturday, but whatever it was, it doesn’t alter the way I feel about you. I told you in the cavern that I loved you, and I do. That’s not going to change. But something about you is sure different.” He propped his elbows on his knees, rested his chin in the palms of his hands, and waited.
“I haven’t changed a bit.” Defiantly, she turned on him. “You changed, Nate. From the minute we climbed out of that cavern, you were a different person. You went from being the nicest, most decent man I’ve ever met to an autocratic tyrant! I don’t think I should have to take that from anybody.”
“I don’t get it,” he answered, a confused frown marring his brow. “All I did was head for camp to get the thumb drive with the pictures. What’s so tyrannical about that?”
“You just took over.” It wasn’t easy keeping her voice level. “You assumed that whatever you did I would follow blindly along, ready to do exactly as you wished. Well, Nate,” she said, standing up, hands on hips, “I don’t like being bossed around like I haven’t got a will of my own. And if I’m going to stay and work, I think we need to set some rules so we can get along, okay?”
“Fine.” He was on his feet in a heartbeat, pacing around the small campsite. “I’ll give you some rules. You can start by remembering who’s in charge around here. This is my project, Ms. Martin, and you work for me. You agreed to finish out the five weeks of your contract. I’m going to hold you to every last minute of it until the pictures are done and we are out of here.
“And if you don’t like that . . .” He paused, glaring at her, his face livid with rage. “Then it’s too damned bad.”
“Then maybe we ought to call the whole thing off.” Sputtering, she turned toward him as he stalked around the small area.
“Okay. Fine. Quit. I don’t care. But remember this.” He stopped directly in front of her, dark eyes flashing. “You’ll be walking off a job that you contracted to do. And if you leave, I’ll make certain your reputation with the university and every research group I’ve ever worked with is shot. Do you understand the ramifications of that, Ms. Martin? You will be taking pictures of babies and weddings till the cows come home, because no one else will hire you.” He backed away but his eyes stayed locked on Alex’s. “Think about that before you quit.”
Trembling with rage, Alex clamped her jaw shut and accepted defeat. Angry tears spilled onto her cheeks. She dashed them away with an irritated swipe of her hand. He could ruin her. What he promised didn’t sound like an idle threat, and she couldn’t risk the damage to her reputation. Especially now, when she was just getting started.
She’d had her chance at real photography again, and she knew this was all that would ever satisfy her. This work and Nathan Murdock. Damn it all. Drawing a ragged breath, she tried to figure out how she could possibly hate a man and love him at the same time.
“All right, Dr. Murdock.” Speaking slowly, she was careful to emphasize his title. “You do your job, and I’ll do mine. When the five weeks are over, we go our separate ways.” Deliberately she turned her back on him and began to gather her equipment.
“Although once the pottery is returned,” Alex said, her back still turned to Nate, “I’d like to know just how you intend to use my services for the remainder of the contract. Keeping the stories of our resident god and goddess secret is going to knock the hell out of your folklore studies, I would assume.”
“I intend to continue my studies of the petroglyphs, ignoring the actual existence of the daughter of Ixchel and the son of Chac. If I treat their tale as pure myth, no one in their right mind would have any reason to suspect differently.” Nate’s voice was every bit as controlled as hers, and his anger with Alex more than obvious. “The study will continue as originally planned.”
“Fine,” Alex said between clenched teeth. Two could play this game.
“I’d like to leave in fifteen minutes.” He paused and glared at her. “If that’s all right with you. I want to take the pottery a couple of hundred yards into the cave. Roger’s bringing a crew up in the morning to seal off the entrance. That’s the only way we could think of to protect the area as an archeological site.” He paused a moment, then turned his cold gaze on Alex. “Fourteen minutes,” he said, checking his watch.
“I’ll be ready.” Alex felt as if her heart would break. She’d been right. That terrific man in the cavern had only been an illusion.
I’ve really blown it big-time.
The reality of their situation rattled around in his head as Nate led the way up the narrow trail to the back side of the plateau. The duffle bag filled with pottery rested solidly against his shoulders.
He could feel Alex walking behind him, so aware of her that he could accurately describe her movements without ever turning around to look.
He’d planned on apologizing, on giving the files of her photos back to her. Instead he’d ended up yelling like the autocrat she accused him of being. What was it about this woman that turned him into such a jerk?
The anger radiating from her could scorch leaves. She stomped along behind him, her shoulders bowed with the weight of all the equipment. She carried flashlights, water bottles and supplies for lunch, along with two collapsible shovels. They wanted to bury the bowls completely so that no one else would stumble upon them. There could always be another entrance to the cavern. Nate wasn’t willing to risk their theft again.
He heard Alex stumble but he forced himself not to turn around. Even though his load was much lighter than hers, Nate didn’t dare offer to help carry her things. He shook his head, wondering how to straighten out the mess he seemed to keep making worse.
“I need to take a breather.”
He stopped, aware of the labored sound of Alex breathing in quick gasps.
“No problem.” He was actually surprised she would admit to any weakness. “Do you want me to carry any of that stuff for you? If you recall, the trail gets pretty steep from here.”
“No. I’m fine, thank you.”
Her polite answer startled him. He’d expected something sarcastic at the very least.
He wondered if he’d ever figure her out.
The entrance to the cavern was surprisingly easy to find. Within a short time Alex and Nate stood on the sandy shelf where they had spent their last night together.
Memories assailed Nate. Making love in the darkness, wondering if he would ever again hold Alex beneath the light of the sun. Images passed through his mind bringing a flush to his face and a familiar ache to his loins.
He missed her touch as much as he missed her companionship. She was so distant and professional now, following his orders without comment or spirit. He wanted her back, but he didn’t have the slightest idea how to accomplish such a thing.
“Where do you want to bury them?” she asked, breaking into his thoughts. “There’s a spot here that looks almost like an altar. It feels right, Nate.”
Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it echoed eerily in the rounded cavern. Nate had to agree—it did feel right to leave the bowls in this particular spot. He handed one of the shovels to Alex and unfolded one for himself.
“I think you’re right.” He drove the shovel into the coarse sand. “Do you sense them here?” He didn’t. The only thing he was aware of was a powerful feeling of disappointment that Alex was still so distant.
“Yes, I do.” She actually smiled at Nate for the first time. “Not voices, like the dream. Just a sense that we’re doing what they want us to do. Are you sorry, Nate? That you have to return the bowls?”
“I guess I should be.” He thought about that a moment. He was sorry about a lot of things, but returning the bowls to their rightful place wasn’t one of them. He shook his head. “I’m not. I really believe that the spirits in this cave saved us. The odds of our finding our way out of here must have been pretty high. Especially as badly injured as I was.”