Authors: J. Fields Jr.
Sonny put his hands behind his back.
“I feel left out.”
“Pardon me?”
“You’ve both seen her naked and I haven’t.”
Antonio leaned back in his seat.
“For God’s sake, Sonny.
I’m being serious.”
“Why did you take
him
to meet her and not me?
I always get the old women.”
Antonio pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead.
“I cannot believe we’re discussing this.
In fact, we are
not
discussing it.”
“Old rich women I see naked all the time.
They do it on purpose.
Some of them have an excessive amount of liver spots, Antonio.”
Max reached out and tapped Sonny on the knee.
“I don’t even want the job.
Do you want it?”
Sonny took half a step away.
“Antonio, I always thought I did a commendable job as your protégé.
After a year I would have thought you’d have recommended me for the job.”
“Sonny,” said Antonio.
“You
were
the butler I was going to recommend.
In hindsight I realize that I promised Miss Moon I would introduce her to a butler tonight that would attend to her solely.
When I called to request permission for her to be introduced to someone, I should have specified that it was in fact another guest.
Unfortunately I did not.
Though fate has intervened, the original intent was for you to be her butler.”
“Good.”
Sonny buttoned his jacket.
“Should I go introduce myself to her?”
“No.”
Antonio stood up from his chair and stepped around the desk.
“No?”
Sonny sat back down.
“Well, I suppose it’s the thought that counts.”
Antonio removed a spare tuxedo jacket from his office closet.
“She requested
Max
as her personal butler for the weekend.”
“But Max isn’t a butler.”
“Right, I’m not a butler.
Don’t you have to be trained to do butler stuff?”
Sonny nodded.
“Antonio was trained by Ivor Spencer, a member of the order of the
British Empire
.”
“Wow,” said Max.
“I’m an online college dropout.”
Sonny frowned.
“Did you say
online –
”
“I did not feel it was prudent to point out the error to Miss Moon.”
He donned the jacket in front of the full length gilded mirror beside his desk.
“If she discovers that Max is not an employee of the casino, and therefore not bound by a confidentiality agreement, she could sue the tribe.
She would be within her rights to pursue civil lawsuits, as well, against myself and Max.”
He transferred his silk handkerchief from his wet jacket to his fresh one.
Max sat back down.
“That would be mean.
She didn’t seem mean.”
“I agree, but she is not privy to the truth.
It could be construed that I had introduced her to you under false pretenses, not pointing out that you were a guest.
Perhaps you and I were in cahoots, so to speak, to obtain her autograph and other compromising information about the young actress.
The last time I had seen her she was nude and about to enter the Jacuzzi.
Couldn’t I assume that she would be nude when you and I arrived?
Allowing just the right amount of time for her immodesty to be well lubricated by the champagne I was so courteous to arrange.”
He walked over to Max and held his eye.
“You see how a simple set of circumstances become devious once the right motive is introduced?”
Max frowned.
“But I think she likes us.”
“Anyone who suffers the celebrity lifestyle knows that ones friends can quickly become enemies when motivated by star lust and money.
Shannon Moon is no friend of the press.
First impressions aside, the reality is that she barely knows you or me.
It would only take moments for her agent or lawyer to convince Miss Moon to prosecute in order to keep us from the media.
The story would turn from a celebrity tidbit into a harassment claim.
The scenario is rife with headline possibilities.
The
Butler
Did It.
Strip Poker.
Peeping Tom in a Tuxedo…
”
Antonio realized that the men were staring at him.
“So on and so forth.”
“Strip poker,” mused Sonny.
Max cut him off.
“So what do we do?”
“There are several possibilities.”
“Good, let’s pick one.”
“Oh,” said Sonny.
“I get it.
She stripped…you play poker.”
“The first course of action is the most obvious,” said Antonio.
“We tell her the truth.”
Antonio began to pace.
“I said the most obvious, not the most honest.”
“Oh.”
Sonny interjected.
“We hire Max as a butler.”
Antonio raised a finger.
“Correct.”
Sonny snapped his head around.
“I was joking.”
“Hiring Max on staff would resolve the entire conflict by eliminating the conflict.
He would be a butler.
There is no deception on behalf of the casino.
Problem solved.”
“Wow, really?”
Max looked at Sonny.
“I’ve never had a real job before.”
Sonny ratcheted to his feet.
“Antonio!”
Antonio patted the air with his hands.
“Calm yourself.
We have no openings at the moment.”
Sonny collected himself.
“Sorry about the outburst.”
“No apology necessary,” said Antonio.
“
I’m
a little offended.”
“Sorry, Max.”
“The other possibility was to terminate your employment,” said Antonio.
“And pass on the information to Miss Moon.”
Sonny bolted upright.
“What!”
“Not you,” said Antonio, gesturing towards Max.
“Max would be terminated.”
Max deflated into his couch.
“Really?”
Sonny glanced over at Max.
“Hey.
Sorry.”
Max asked, “What’d I do?”
“I considered several scenarios, deciding on something innocuous such as a personal problem.”
“What kind of personal problem?”
“That would have been confidential, of course.”
“You can’t even tell
me?
”
“Max, it was a fictional problem.”
“Don’t jinx me.”
Sonny stared at him openly.
“You’ve never had a real job?
Like, ever?”
“Well.
One time I did a weekly poker blog.”
Sonny continued staring.
“How old are you again?”
The knock on the office door startled all three gentlemen.
Antonio turned the lock and opened it.
Chase Randolph, the afternoon butler, leaned into the office holding a cordless phone.
“Sorry to interrupt, Antonio.
I have a call.”
“Take a message.
I’ll return the call momentarily.”
“Sorry, but the call’s not for you.”
Sonny stood up.
“I’ll step into the pantry and take it.”
Chase Randolph shook his head.
“Not for you, either, I’m afraid.”
He extended the phone towards Max.
“For you, Mr. Allen.”
Max stood up.
“Must be Trixie.”
“No,” said Antonio.
“She wouldn’t call the butler pantry.”
He turned to the butler.
“Please put Miss Moon through to my desk phone.
Max, step over here, if you would.”
“I’m going to talk to her?”
“Yes,” said Antonio.
“If my intuition serves, she merely wants to apologize.
If she has a request, please pass her over to me.”
The office phone rang, a single light blinking on the display.
Max stared at it.
Antonio and Sonny waited patiently.
Inhaling sharply, Max picked up the phone and said, “Hello.”
Shannon
said, “I’m holding for Max, the butler.”
“Hi, that’s me.”
“Oh!
Great.
This is
Shannon
.”
“Hi.”
“I’m glad I caught you before you went to your other job.”
Max paused.
“Because I wanted to talk to you.
About what happened.
Are you feeling okay?”
“Sure, I’m fine.”
“Did your pants dry out?”
“What?
Oh, yeah…my pants are,” he glanced over at Antonio and Sonny, “…my pants are much better now.”
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.
By taking off my robe.
I should have warned you or something.”
Max shrugged.
Waited.
Then replied, “That was fine.
Really.”
“You’re not angry?”
“No way.”
“You’ll stay with me this weekend?”
“Stay with you?”
“Be my butler?”
“Be your butler?”
“Well, the butler for me and Brandon, though he has his tour manager Marty to boss around and will probably ignore you most of the time.
He doesn’t do it to be mean.
He’s just focused.
Driven.
You know.”
“Hello, Miss Moon.”
“Who’s this?”
“This is Antonio.
Max just handed me the phone.
He was called away suddenly.
Did you have a request?”